The Better to Hold You (32 page)

“I sure hate to wipe that look off your face, Doc, but if we can, we’d better get moving. If we linger here too long, Magda’s liable to take it the wrong way.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, she said to take ourselves out of her territory. And I figure the sun better not catch us still here in easy walking distance.”

“Or else?”

“Doc, if we discuss this any further in this position we’ll be here till noon, if you catch my drift.”

We tried to pull apart and, to my regret, succeeded.

“Well, that didn’t hurt.”

Red flashed me a slightly rueful smile. “Speak for yourself.” I wondered whether or not he was joking. At least dogs didn’t have to worry about what to say to each other afterward. Red pulled on his jeans and picked up one very small suitcase.

“You didn’t take much.”

“Just the important stuff.”

We drove back, trying to be serious. Serious things were happening. But Red and I couldn’t quite wipe the sloppy, happy grins off our faces. I was a wolf girl and he was a wolf boy and we were in love. Somewhere behind all of this giddy plea sure there was grief at losing my old life, but having Red to touch kept that pain at bay. We kissed at all the red lights, and some of the roads were so empty that we made out through two lights in a row. We necked our way up to Beast Castle’s front door, his fingers hot against my skin despite the chill predawn air.

“I hope my mother’s gone to bed already. I don’t think I can wait till we get to my room.”

“Ah, first change. There’s nothing like it.”

“You mean it doesn’t stay like this?”

“Well, whenever the moon rides you, you’ll find you’re in the mood for a little bloodsport or sex. Sometimes both. But the initial metamorphosis is particularly—intense.”

“So you probably can’t keep up with me, huh?”

Red raised one eyebrow. “Careful, little girl. I’ve been doing this a mite longer than you.”

I twined my hands around his neck. “So you think you can manage?”

My lover replied with a grin that revealed all his white and pointy teeth.

“I didn’t know you could do that! You can change just a part of you?”

Red’s eyes gleamed wolfishly. “It takes practice.”

“Wow, I want to try.”

“You’ll probably be a quick study—it’s unusual to change fully your first time, like you did—so, hang on.” Red was still looking at me, but he wasn’t paying attention.

“What is it?”

“I don’t know yet. Shh.” And then we both listened, testing the feel of the quiet darkness that was just beginning to lift in the east. Somewhere in the distance, a car’s engine downshifted. Near us, a breeze blew leaves and a small rodent froze in reaction. Something was wrong.

“Red?”

He looked past me, out at the yard. “Aren’t there dogs kenneled out here?”

“Of course there are. You helped me feed them—”

“They’re awfully quiet.”

“I don’t usually hear them when I’m outside the kennel building.”

Red’s jaw tightened. “I do.”

We walked over to the small outbuilding used for the Castle’s larger and more obstreperous canine visitors. The door was still closed, but the lock had been broken.

“What is it, Red? Vandals?”

“Maybe.” Once we stepped inside, I stopped thinking clearly. There was a tangle of limp, furred bodies on the hard cement floor—necks at odd angles, jaws frozen wide—and there was a lot of blood, the thick, ropy kind. The Akita had been killed near the front door, her throat ripped out. The rottweiler was in a far corner, his blood running in a thick stream toward the drain in the center of the room.

“What was it?” The smell of copper and flesh was so intense that I felt as if I were tasting it. I was still thinking vandals, some kind of animal, some hideous dogfight.

“Abra, maybe you’d better wait here while I check out the house.”

And that was when I realized that, of course, it was Magda. Which meant that this was my fault, my responsibility, for seducing Red instead of leaving his cottage as quickly as we could. “Oh, God. Is this—is Magda punishing us?”

Red reached out and touched the back of my head. “Let’s just take this one step at a time. Give me the key. You see if anyone here needs your attention. I’ll be back in a few.”

I had begun to crouch next to one of the mongrels, a sweet doe-faced female we’d called Happy, when I realized what had just happened. I didn’t need to go to each victim’s body. My wolf-enhanced hearing could detect that the only heart beating there was mine. Which Red would have known as well.

So the only reason for him to have gone in solo was to keep me safe. I stood up, my knees trembling a little in reaction.

The scream was sudden and high and unmistakably female.

Mother.

I ran to the main house and found the front door open. And then I stopped, waiting in the familiar Spanish foyer with its grand winding staircase, not knowing where to go. I had started heading for the stairs when I heard a metallic crashing sound, and turned back toward the kitchen. Remembering all the old cop shows I’d ever seen, I tried to ease myself along the wall so that I could see what I was getting into before it hit me.

“No good sneaking like that, Abs. I can hear you rustling around out there.”

It was Hunter’s voice. Surprised, I stood still for a moment, my hand to my mouth.

“Come on, come on out. Come on, dear, I can smell you. And what an interesting odor it is, too.”

I stepped out into the light of the kitchen, and what I saw was so unexpected that I wound up just standing there in the doorway with my mouth hanging open.

Hunter, on the other hand, did not seem in the least surprised.

“Hello, Abs,” he said, never looking up from what he was doing. “Still on the veggie kick, or in the mood for a little meat?”

For one long improbable moment, I thought Hunter was cooking dinner or a really hearty breakfast, and the unexpected domesticity of it stopped me in my tracks. There he stood, bearded but dressed in a long-sleeved burgundy shirt and black jeans, chopping meat at the wooden side table while a pot of something bubbled on the gas range behind him.

“Hunter.” I squeaked the end of his name, and he smiled.

“You took your time.” His hands were surprisingly deft with the blade, considering how seldom he cooked. At first I thought he was carving up a chicken, then I looked again and thought, Maybe rabbit.

Or cat.

“What are you doing here, Hunter?”

The scream made me jump and turn, but Hunter simply raised the heavy French knife and sliced through a joint. “What was that?”

Hunter’s eyes, when he looked up, were the ugliest shade of yellow I had ever seen. “That was a scream. As for what I’m doing here—well, I should have thought that was obvious. I’m making myself at home. This should have been my home, you know. And now it is.”

By now I’d had enough time to notice the furry striped pelt which had been stripped from the carcass. Time to take in the amount of blood staining the old wood. “You bastard,” I hissed. “Why are you doing this?”

The knife whacked off another joint. “Because you owe me.”

“I owe you?”

Hunter’s smile was pure malice. “Yes, Abra, you owe me. For all the years my father subsidized your fucking education, while your mother pissed all her money away on sick cats. You owe me. For dragging me down year after fucking year into domestic fucking oblivion while you refused to make any of the changes that would have helped my life, my career.”

I was absolutely confused. What changes? What had Hunter ever wanted me to do that I had refused him? “Hunter,” I said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Do you mean my not asking my mother for money?”

Hunter moved around the side table, and now there was nothing between him and me and the big knife in his hand as he approached. “Oh, baby, don’t forget your father. Did you ever once consider asking your father if any of his connections could have helped with my career? Did you ever do a single thing to help me get to the top?”

“He didn’t like you. My mother didn’t like you. What was I supposed to—” The knife flew past my face and shuddered as it embedded itself in the plaster by my head. Hunter braced his arms against the wall, imprisoning me between them. Then he leaned in close, his spittle flying into my face as he spoke.

“Maybe you didn’t defend me very well. Maybe it served you to have mummy and daddy on one side and me on the other. Or maybe you just never thought about anyone but yourself.”

This time the scream was cut off. I raised my knee up hard, jamming it between Hunter’s legs, and then ducked under his arm as he crumpled. I took the stairs three at a time, stumbled, took them two at a time, and opened my mother’s bedroom door so hard the knob slammed against the wall.

“Mom!” But it wasn’t my mother. It was Magda, half dressed in a purple sequined Bob Mackie gown my mother had worn back in the early eighties. Her short dark hair, with its streak of white, looked oddly appropriate with the showy dress. She looked like a Disney villainess now, ready for her close-up.

“Oh, hello, Abra. Good—I needed someone to do up the back.” Magda turned to me and smiled, and I saw that there was lipstick smeared at the corner of her lovely mouth. No, not lipstick. Blood. She had prepared this for me, part of my brain registered. This was a theatrical setup, and she was the star.

“Where’s my mother?”

“Oh, that heavyset dyed blonde was your mother? I’m afraid your boyfriend’s eating her.” Magda gestured at the bed, where I could see what appeared to be a pile of discarded costumes. I looked harder and saw a mound of Piper LeFever’s old movie star dresses lying in an ever-widening pool of blood.

“Where is she?”

“Some men just lose control when they change, haven’t you noticed? Or are you so innocent that you thought it was just all fun and fucking?” Magda leaned in so close that I could smell the raw meat on her breath. I crouched there by the bed, hyperventilating, crying. “Hunter’s gotten quite angry at you, hasn’t he? The wolf in him has been waking up, bit by bit. And, guess what? Deep down, where instinct and passion rule, your husband has despised you for a very long time.” I was breathing too hard, almost whimpering, but behind my panic and shock, there was that sober little nun voice inside my head, detached and still functional. She’s doing this on purpose, the voice said. This is a production, and it’s for my benefit. I looked up at Magda through a veil of tears and hatred. “I’m asking you again, Magda. Where is my mother?”

“I don’t know where your coyote dragged her off. Follow the blood trail, I suppose. Or doesn’t your nose work that well yet?” Magda turned in front of the mirror, admiring the way the fabric hugged her breasts. “Do you think I could keep this? In Romania, we didn’t have much need for dressing up, but I can see that your husband and I might enjoy going out while we’re here.”

I looked at her and felt so much anger that my other senses kicked in. Suddenly I could smell the musk of her excitement. She wanted me to attack; she wanted to take me down. But I had caught the blood trail, and my sharpened vision caught the traces of blood on the dark wood and tile floor. My world had narrowed to the scent of my mother’s injury, to the traces of dark blood splattered unevenly along the walls and floor.

I found my mother—lying naked on my bed, her skin far too pale—in my childhood room. Someone had tied a rough bandage around her right wrist, and my mother was cradling that hand to her chest. Red was huddled in the corner, as far from my mother as he could possibly get, incongruously draped in my mother’s huge paisley caftan, a fringed bandanna wrapped around his head. Underneath her clothes he was clearly naked.

“Mom! Red! Oh, my God, what are you—”

“Abra.” My mother’s voice was faded, weak, almost unrecognizable. “He tried. To help me.”

I turned to Red. “She’s going into shock. Help me cover her and get her out of here.”

Red shook his head as if he were pushing something away. “Doc, she took my clothes. This place is thick with blood and I’ve already changed twice to night.”

“Red, you told me that you’re a shapeshifter. You can control this. I need you to control this.”

“No. He can’t.”

I went over to my mother, and for the first time in our lives, I knew she wasn’t dramatizing what she was feeling. I put my finger over the thready pulse in her neck. “What do you mean, Mom?”

“He’s not my lover and he’s not my family. Right now, all I am to him is fresh meat, and if he stands up, you’ll be fighting to keep him from finishing me off.”

I looked at Red, pale and trembling like a junkie. “Is this true?”

He smiled, and it was almost his old rueful grin. “Turns out your mother liked to research her roles. Knows a thing or two about wolves and men.”

“But you said you were a shapeshifter. You said the moon didn’t control you.”

My mother lifted her good hand, and I could see the effort it cost her. “My daughter,” she said, “does not believe in half-truths.”

Red laughed, a hoarse little bark that turned into a cough. Or maybe it was the other way around. “They took my clothes and gave me a taste of your mother’s blood, Doc. And locked us in here alone together. My control’s good, but it’s not perfect. Jesus,” he said, shaking a little harder. “It’s goddamn hot in here.”

I watched in horror as he began shifting the dress farther down his shoulders. “You keep those clothes on!”

“I’m burning up.”

“Red, don’t take that off. You’ll start to shift.” Opening the door to my closet, I rummaged through a bag of old toys, throwing aside an old poster of Duran Duran and a pair of never-worn high-heeled boots.

“Abra,” my mother said tightly, “this is not the time to clean out your closet.”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Mom.” I finally located the safe and worked the combination. “I’m looking for the Telazol. I keep it hidden and locked away.” With trembling fingers, I began mixing the powerful sedative.

“Typical. If you weren’t so paranoid about drugs, you wouldn’t have to waste all this time now—Abra, your friend here is taking off his clothes again.”

“Red, please.” I turned around, shaking the mixture in one hand while I tried to remove the cap from a hypodermic with my teeth.