The Betting Season (A Regency Season Book) (13 page)

Finally reaching the landau, Jason met Pippa’s gaze once more. “I am sorry for everything, sweetheart,” he said softly. Then he flashed her his most roguish smile, the one that made most women swoon. He inhaled deeply and said loud enough for their assembled audience to hear. “Your rejection of my offer has wounded me to my core, Lady Philippa.” Pippa’s green eyes rounded in confusion. She hadn’t caught on to what he was doing. He’d have to do better. “A more virtuous woman, I’ve never met, and I wish I was worthy of you.” That at least was true. “But not to worry, I shan’t darken Berkswell’s door again.”

What was he doing? And why did he look as though he truly had been dragged behind a coach? He turned on his heel and began to limp away. Pippa knew she should let him leave, let him walk out of her life, but her heart still leapt when she saw him. He still made her breath catch in her throat at the sight of him. The memory of his kisses, his caresses washed over her, and Pippa couldn’t imagine never seeing him again.

“
Wait!” she called before she could think the better of it, and Jason halted his step.

A look of surprise flashed in Lady Heathfield’s eyes. “Do you know what you’re doing?” she whispered from behind her fan.

Pippa shook her head. “But he
is
injured, Lady Heathfield. Can’t we offer him a lift at least?”

The viscountess squeezed Pippa’s hand. “As long as you’re certain.”

Not that Pippa felt certain of anything, and hadn’t in quite some time. But the idea of never seeing Jason again pained her heart. She looked from Lady Heathfield back to Jason, who now stood in the middle of the row. A tiny bit of hope lit his blue eyes. “Certainly you shouldn’t be walking on that leg, Lord St. Austell. Would you like to sit for a while?”

Apparently, he didn’t need to be asked twice. He hobbled to the landau, opened the door, and pulled himself up into the conveyance. He dropped onto the bench opposite Pippa and Lady Heathfield. “You are too kind, my lady.”

Kind? She wasn’t kind. She was simply a ninny who didn’t have a clue what to do next, but she had a feeling that her future hinged on whatever happened in the next few moments. Her mouth went dry and her stomach twisted.

Jason glanced at Patience’s cousin and scowled. “The performance is over, Findley.”

Mr. Findley chuckled. “On the contrary, I think it’s just beginning. But I’ll leave you to your quarry.” He gestured to a spot up ahead of them. “Come along, my dear. You can speak with Lady Philippa another time.”

Patience shot Pippa a glance that said she wouldn’t move from her spot if it wasn’t all right. Pippa smiled at her friend. “We’ll do tea. Berskswell House this time, as the only crying infant is Harry on occasion.”

Patience nodded in agreement. “I’ll hold you to that.”

As soon as the Findleys were out of earshot, Pippa focused her attention on the disreputable and quite disheveled earl across from her. “What happened to you, Jason?” she asked softly, pitching her voice low.

He shrugged as the landau started moving once again. “Just a series of one misstep after another.” He leaned forwards on his bench and Pippa couldn’t help but notice the purpling of his left eye.

Good heavens. Had his face met Harry’s fist a few times? Her brother did need to work on his predisposition of using fisticuffs to solve his disputes.

“
I don’t care about any of that though, Pippa. I—”

“
What happened to your eye?” she interrupted. “Did Harry…?”

“
Berkswell,” he said with a shake of his head.

“
Berks?” Her mouth dropped open. Berks was hardly the violent sort. He used his words, not his fists. “Why?” She reached her hand out to touch his face, even though she knew it was foolish to do so. A jolt of awareness shot through her at the contact, and she pulled her hand back.

A self-deprecating smile settled on his lips. “I told him I wanted to marry you, and apparently he wasn’t too keen about the idea.”

Marry her? But after the lies and the subterfuge, why? What was the point? Pippa’s heart was in her throat. She must be missing something. “You asked him for my hand?” She couldn’t quite believe his words. He was, after all, not the most truthful fellow.

His light blue eyes twinkled with what could only be described as mischief. “I didn’t ask him. I
told
him I wanted to marry you, but that was before…” His gaze flashed to Lady Heathfield.

Before he’d come to his senses? Before Berks blackened his eye? “Before what?” Pippa prodded, not sure if his answer would tear her heart in two, but she needed to know.

“
Before she told you everything. Before I could straighten out this whole mess.”

A mess was exactly what it was. Pippa shook her head. “Lady Heathfield didn’t tell me anything.”

“
I didn’t have to,” the viscountess added. “She’d already figured it out herself.”

Jason’s eyes dropped to his boots, the bit of hope he’d had on face vanished. “Well, that’s worse then, isn’t it?”

Was it? Had he meant to straighten out this mess? “Why did you lie to me?” Pippa asked, her voice so low she barely heard herself.

Jason slowly lifted his head, his gaze landing on Pippa. The hurt in her lovely green eyes was still there, and he cursed himself anew for having caused it. “I didn’t technically lie,” he said and then winced. That was hardly the way to go about asking her to forgive him. “I omitted,” he amended, “but it is still unforgivable. If you aren’t able to forgive me—”

“
Why did you
omit
?” Pippa asked, and it seemed as though the answer was as important as her next breath. He had to tell her the truth, all of it, no matter how it made him look.

“
Collins,” Lady Heathfield called to the driver. “I see my sister across the way. Do stop, will you?” Then her eyes met Jason’s. “Take Lord St. Austell and Lady Philippa for one turn about the row, then return for me, please.”

The landau came to a stop once again, then the viscountess rose from her bench. Jason started to stand, to assist her to the ground, but she waved him off.

“
You are injured, my lord. I can manage on my own.” Then she opened the door and dropped to the ground, which wasn’t exactly the most ladylike way to exit the conveyance, but she did seem to be in a hurry to leave them to themselves. Lady Heathfield turned back around, gestured her driver forward, and smiled at Jason and Pippa. “Use your time wisely.”

It wouldn’t take too terribly long for Collins to make one turn and head back, but it was more than Jason had hoped for. More than he deserved, certainly. He might not get another chance to make things right with Pippa, and he wouldn’t have this chance without Emma Heathfield. It was no wonder her husband was so besotted. The lady was an angel in disguise.

Just before the landau lurched forward, Jason moved to the other bench so he could sit beside
his
angel, the girl who had so completely captured his heart without him knowing how she’d done it. Jason took her gloved hands in his and cleared his throat. “I am sorry, sweetheart. I
did
lie,” he finally admitted. “Not to you, but to myself, which was a foolish thing to do.”

A crease formed across Pippa’s brow. “I beg your pardon?”

He was doing this poorly, but he had virtually no practice in apologizing. He never found himself in situations where he needed to do so. “You see, that day here in the park I… Well, it was a bit of a blow to me when I realized you didn’t remember me from the night before.” How ridiculous that sounded, but it was the truth. “I like to think that women remember me.” And until her, he was fairly certain they all had.

“
Under normal circumstances I would have remembered you,” she said softly.

Normal circumstances? Nothing was normal anymore, not since meeting her. “But the truth is more complicated in that. I didn’t even realize it until I couldn’t sleep last night.”

“
What truth?” Her frown deepened.

“
That I’ve fallen for you.” He slid closer to her on the bench. “I didn’t think such a thing was possible, I still wouldn’t believe it if Heathfield hadn’t put a series of awful thoughts in my mind.”

She shook her head as though he made no sense at all. “Awful thoughts?”

“
He made me see a future with you married to someone else, with you loving someone else. And if that is the case, sweetheart, my future is bleak indeed.”

She heaved a sigh. “You gave me a false name.”

“
Not exactly,” he hedged. “Colebrooke is mine too.”

“
And you had cards made up under that name to deceive me.”

“
Would you have seen me if I’d told you I was St. Austell?”

Pippa’s looked away from him, but the answer was clear. Had she known his true identity, she’d have run the other way. He’d known that from the beginning.

“
I couldn’t take that chance, sweetheart.”

“
You made a fool of me,” she said quietly, hurt still evident in her voice.

Which had never been his intention. He drew her hand to his lap, wishing he could make her understand, wishing he could make her hurt dissipate. “I’m the same man you knew as Colebrooke, just with a slightly more tarnished name.”

She shook her head. “I don’t feel as though I know you at all.”

And yet the kisses they shared spoke of a passion she must have felt as well. A passion he hadn’t experienced in all of his days. “Ask me anything you want. I’ll tell you everything you could possibly want to know.”

A slight smile teased at her lips. “In exchange for kisses?”

In exchange for a lifetime by his side. Jason tucked one of her wayward curls behind her ear. “I would have done anything to be near you, sweetheart. I told myself it was to assuage my pride, but the truth is, I
needed
to be near you, to hold you, to kiss you. Needed you like I need air. What else do you want to know of me, Pippa? Ask me and I’ll tell you.”

She turned her head to face him. “Do you mean all of that?” Tears pooled in her green eyes and Jason’s heart clenched.

“
Every word.” He lifted a hand to her face and caressed her cheek. “I don’t know how you did it, sweetheart. I didn’t even know I could fall in love.”

She threw her arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close. They were most certainly causing quite a scene in the middle of Hyde Park, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, not with her clutching him to her. After the morning he’d already endured, he couldn’t relinquish her.

Jason ran his hand up and down her back. “I love you sweetheart. The thought of losing you made that abundantly clear.”