The Billionaire's Masquerade (The Friendship Series) (13 page)

She added only a bit of makeup, just some mascara and lipstick, then noticed the dark circles under her eyes and dabbed a bit of concealer and powder on to hide her fatigue. She didn’t want Emerson to think she was defeated with this lifestyle. Well, she’d have to tell him eventually. She couldn’t keep this up. She hated this. She’d proven to herself that she could do it, but she didn’t want to continue.

And then an even more confusing thought struck her. She hated the idea of leaving here and never seeing Emerson again. She stood in front of the bathroom mirror reeling from the pain of that thought. But why should it be like that? She’d rejected him so long ago. Their affair had ended the moment she’d spoken those horrible words about wanting a different life, one that he couldn’t give her.

She closed her eyes and leaned against the marble countertop, her hands braced on the cold, flat surface. He’d told her over and over again that she wouldn’t like this life. And what had she done? She’d scoffed at his insight. She’d told him that she wasn’t going to be poor, that she wanted the power that came along with understanding Emerson Watson’s methods.

Well, now he’d taught her his methods, she was making loads of money and she knew how to control a business transaction so that it was profitable. Oh, she didn’t delude herself into thinking she’d broken the code on all of his tactics, but she was pretty good now. She wasn’t exactly sure what her bank account looked like, but she estimated that she’d earned twice as much in the past four weeks learning from Emerson as she’d earned the entire previous year.

Somehow, she had to figure out how to turn back time.

She now understood exactly what he’d been trying to tell her, what he’d patiently told her several times! Her palm flattened against her forehead as she absorbed the shock of realizing what a complete and utter fool she’d been! She might not have had all the money and power she’d wanted a month ago, but she could have been happy with Jack. She could have figured out a way to make things work. She just hadn’t been trying hard enough! She’d been such an idiot not to have come up with a creative solution to their situation and now, here she was, hiding out in a bathroom and hating life, so tired she could barely stand and disgusted with all the merciless people who now called themselves her “friend” which, in Wall Street terms meant Rachel had become “important”.

She had to fix this. She didn’t know if he would ever forgive her and she wasn’t exactly sure if she could get out of this whirlwind, but she had to try.

She picked up her cell phone and dialed Nikki’s number, needing advice on how to get out of this mess. But Nikki didn’t answer so she left a voice mail. She glanced at her watch and realized that Nikki and Brianna were probably out on their normal Saturday morning run along the river.

When her voice mail clicked on, Rachel said, “Hi Nik. Just calling to check in. I know you and Bri are out on your run so give me a call when you have time. Nothing urgent. I just miss you guys.”

She sighed and put her phone away, wishing she could be there with them, wanting that run and the cool, morning air against her face. Rachel loved the way the three of them would traipse down the rough path, chatting about their week, laughing at their foibles while cheering each other’s successes. She missed those times. She missed her friends. And she missed Emerson so much, she wanted to crawl back to him and beg him to ignore what she’d said that horrible Sunday evening.

Stepping out of the dressing room, her eyes searched hungrily for Emerson, wanting to see him in those jeans once more. He might be intimidating as all get out, but he still made her stomach flutter whenever she saw him, even in a business suit or tuxedo, even though she hated everything those represented.

When he wasn’t in the bedroom, she tentatively moved about his enormous penthouse, ignoring all the stark, horrible furniture that was like sitting on a bench at the bus station. Not even the enormous fireplace or the stunning views of the city could make this place look comfortable. Maybe, just like the expensive clothes Emerson had bought her, it wasn’t the actual penthouse that she disliked, but what it represented. This was the “Emerson” side of the man she’d fallen in love with. This was the hard, cold, driven and unfeeling man that was merciless and calculating.

She found him in the most unlikely of places. The kitchen! Talking and laughing with Lilly, his housekeeper and cook. As soon as she stepped into the kitchen, the laughter stopped and Emerson stood up.

Rachel could tell that he liked her in jeans and she had to admit, they were pretty comfortable, for denim. She still preferred her leggings and a big, bulky sweatshirt when she wanted to relax, but he probably didn’t know that about her. They’d only been together at the tail end of the summer. With the cold air moving in and their insane schedule, he’d never seen her relax.

“Here,” Emerson said, handing her a travel mug.

“I hope this is coffee,” she grumbled, feeling left out since they’d broken up their conversation as soon as she’d entered. She hadn’t had a genuine, friendly conversation with anyone since she’d arrived in New York. Her conversations with other human beings consisted of discussions about money, how to make it, the cost of making it, the transferring of it and the disbursement of it.

Rachel never would have thought it possible, but she was starting to hate money.

“Where are we going?” she asked when he led her out of his penthouse to the elevator. “Don’t we have meetings this morning?”

“Yes. But not here.” Emerson looked at her with veiled eyes, trying to figure out what she was thinking. She was such a mystery now, but he was betting everything on the possibility that she was sick of the life in Manhattan. She might like the intensity of the city, but not the cut-throat world of Wall Street. He noticed that she’d tried to cover up those dark circles with makeup and hoped he wasn’t too late.

She might hate him now. She might think he was the worst kind of person in the world. He’d seen her talking to the other guests at the dinner party last night. He’d almost burst out laughing when she’d stopped herself from rolling her eyes at one person’s comments about the Japanese yen. And he’d almost grabbed her in his arms when she’d cuttingly remarked that the world didn’t have to revolve around discussions about money. If it hadn’t been for that comment, he wouldn’t have taken the chance on today’s trip.

“It isn’t a long trip,” he told her when he noticed her body stiffen. He hated that she got so tense whenever they flew somewhere. He wished he could help her, make her fears all go away and reassure her somehow. But he also knew that phobias weren’t completely rational and it didn’t help to apply logic. He just hoped this was the last trip they were forced to take. Although he wouldn’t mind taking her over to Europe and dressing her in all the latest fashions from Paris or Milan. He knew of several boutiques where he’d like to drape her in the expensive lace. And then take it off. Slowly.

He shook himself out of that particular fantasy. One step at a time, he told himself. “I think you’ll enjoy this trip,” he said, trying to reassure her.

Rachel’s stomach immediately tightened with those words. “Not here” meant somewhere else. And that meant flying. Damn it! She hated flying! She’d been able to hide it after that first flight, but that didn’t mean her fear of the takeoff and landing weren’t painful and suffocating. It just meant she’d learned to hide those feelings from Emerson.

She sipped her coffee but couldn’t really enjoy the robust flavor because she knew they were headed to the airport. Emerson was on the phone, giving out instructions about something, but she couldn’t concentrate on his words as her mind was completely wrapped around the fear of what was coming.

Sure enough, the driver pulled up right outside the damn plane!

She took a deep breath and stepped out behind Emerson, resigned to her fate. Wherever they were going, she’d have to deal with it. But somehow, some way, she was going to tell him that she needed out. Maybe this weekend, she thought as her mind worked through the problem. The biggest one being that she would miss him so painfully. She fought against that pain, trying to push it away because it didn’t really make sense. She couldn’t be sad about missing a man she didn’t know, didn’t like and didn’t understand! It was ridiculous. But it was true and she fought back the tears as she approached the steps to his jet.

“Good morning, Mr. Watson, Ms. Carson,” Emily, the flight attendant, said as they stepped onto the flight.

Rachel smiled stiffly at Emily, wishing she could be more friendly, but it was impossible when she knew this plane was about to take off. There was also her jealousy about the beautiful blond woman. She always seemed so attentive to Emerson’s needs and it really irritated her.

Emerson noticed Emily’s hurt reaction to Rachel’s curt nod of greeting. He’d known that Rachel didn’t really like the flight attendant, but had savored her jealousy, needing the small piece of evidence that Rachel still felt something for him. But now it was time to clear everything up, straighten out the world and hope that everything landed the way he wanted. Including helping Emily understand Rachel, and helping Rachel get through the flight a bit more comfortably. “Don’t worry about Rachel, Emily. She’s terrified of flying,” Emerson said warmly as they entered the plane.

Emily’s surprised expression told Rachel a lot, but she was too busy gaping at Emerson’s back to respond. In the end, she had to be honest and smiled weakly at Emily, shrugging her shoulders as if to say, “I can’t figure out how to overcome the issue.”

Emily’s surprise morphed into a warm, understanding smile and she nodded with genuine warmth. “I understand,” she said and stepped into the tiny galley.

Rachel glared at Emerson’s back before taking her own seat, irritated beyond words with the man and his obnoxious, mysterious agenda. “How could you tell her that?” Rachel demanded when she and Emerson were alone. She crossed her arms over her stomach, glaring at him while he casually sat down in one of the large, leather seats. “I thought I was supposed to be impervious to fear and doubt. You’ve been preaching all along about how I can’t show weakness to anyone!”

“Ms. Carson?” Emily said from behind her.

Rachel twirled around, embarrassed to be snapping at Emerson like that. And then she suppressed that feeling. Emily wasn’t the enemy, she told herself and forced a smile onto her face.

“This might help,” Emily was saying, offering her a champagne flute filled with frothy liquid.

“Please,” she sighed, “call me Rachel?” she asked. This woman seemed kind now and Rachel was desperate for human interaction without a hidden agenda. Rachel took the glass but she wasn’t sure she wanted to drink it. “Can you tell me what’s in it? I don’t want any sedatives or anything like that.”

Emily shook her head with a warm, caring smile. “Nothing like that, ma’am. It’s just orange juice and champagne. It might help you relax during the takeoff and landing. I know it can be a bit daunting if you’re frightened of those times.” Emily hesitated another moment, then said, “I can assure you that the captain is extremely capable and knows how to handle this craft expertly.”

Rachel blinked, surprised by the assurance.

“Emily is married to the captain,” Emerson was saying and Rachel could feel the smile in his words.

She glanced back at him, showing him her exasperation. “Is nothing a secret from you?” she demanded. How could he have known that she was jealous of the other woman? Hadn’t she hidden her feelings well enough? Obviously not, she thought with irritation.

He chuckled again.

Rachel smiled gratefully at Emily. “Thank you. I’ll definitely try this and will let you know if it helps at all.”

Emily grinned. “There’s more where that came from so just let me know if you need a refill.”

When Emily retreated to the galley once again, Rachel spun back around in the leather chair and glared at Emerson as he took the seat opposite her. “How did you know?” she asked after several tense moments of silence.

He smiled slightly. “Why were you trying to hide it from me?” he asked softly, keeping her eyes captured with his.

She rolled her eyes at his obtuseness. “Because you told me not to reveal any weakness.”

He sighed, still watching her carefully. “Now you can show me any weaknesses you have.”

Her eyes narrowed, feeling suspicious all of a sudden. “Why is that?”

“Because I’m going to show you the other side,” he replied mysteriously.

That wasn’t what she was expecting to hear. But the plane moved at that moment and she realized that the doors were already closed. She took the glass Emily had given her earlier and downed the entire amount, then placed the glass carefully on the table in front of her. “What’s the other side?” After everything that had happened over the past month, she wasn’t sure she could handle “the other side”.

Unfortunately, he didn’t answer her quickly enough to distract her, the plane was taxiing for takeoff and that was all she could remember. When the plane started down the runway, Emerson broke all the rules regarding takeoff and landings. He unbuckled her seatbelt and lifted her into his lap. By the time the plane had reached enough speed to lift of the earth, he was kissing her so passionately and so thoroughly, she had no idea what was happening. Only that his hands and his mouth were covering hers, his lips were doing things that created those wonderful tingles inside of her and his hands were smoothing against the skin of her stomach, creeping higher and higher until his palm was cupping her breast. She gasped when his thumb found her nipple and she arched into his hand, completely forgetting all of the resolutions she’d made about staying away from him and not letting him reduce her down to a puddle of lust.

When the plane was in the air and leveled off, he lifted his head and Rachel stared up at him. She was surprised that she’d reacted so quickly and passionately to him despite her anger towards him. And then she realized that she was still lying across his lap, her arms wrapped around his shoulders while her fingers were gripping his hair as if he were her lifeline.