Authors: Destiny Davis
Angela slowly opened her eyes, blinking at the bright fluorescent light.
That she was in a hospital bed was obvious almost at once. A beeping sound was echoing loudly in the room and mirroring her heartbeat. Her mouth was parched and she gingerly turned her head to the side, looking for some water.
Her eyes widened.
There, in a small, uncomfortable-looking armchair, was Dimitri. His eyes were closed and his chest rose in a slow, steady pattern. In his sleep, he looked exactly like the man she remembered, like the man who’d slept in her arms so many nights. Angela had no idea what he was doing here - or her for that matter - but somehow the sight of him soothed the emptiness that had invaded her heart since their breakup.
He looked stressed, even in his sleep, and she couldn’t help but notice that his hair was sticking up on one end like it always did whenever he ran his fingers through it in agitation. Part of her hoped against hope that he was worried about her, that some part of him did care about her, and that would maybe explain why he was in her hospital room. Yet, before she could ponder on this thought, the door opened. Out of instinct, she closed her eyes again.
“Are you still here?” Lilly’s furious whisper filled the room. “I told you to leave, didn’t I?”
“Don’t poke me like that.” Dimitri’s voice was thick with sleep.
“Well, I had to wake you up. You started your own slumber party here,” Lilly retorted. “Weren’t you supposed to leave yesterday?”
“I told you that I wasn’t going anywhere,” Dimitri’s low voice was surprisingly devoid of any anger. “Do you expect me to leave her when she’s looking like… this?”
“You are aware that you put her in this hospital bed, right?” Lilly’s voice was dripping with venom. “You’re the reason why this girl is broken and distraught. So I really doubt you being here will do her any good,
Mr. Fox
.”
Angela didn’t have to look to know how Dimitri’s eyes would flash at the vitriol.
“Leave if you don’t want her to get worse,” Lilly whispered in a calmer voice. “It won’t do her any good to see you here.”
There was a pause and then Angela heard the rustling of the sofa as he got up. She tried to even her breathing as she heard him walk over to the bed and hesitantly place his hand over hers.
“I did that, didn’t I?” His voice was an anguished whisper.
“Yes, you did.”
Angela wished there was some way she could tell Lilly to back off. Dimitri’s thumb traced slow circles in the inside of her palm. Her heart monitor picked up but he thankfully released her hand again. She heard him walk towards the door and then pause.
“Did the doctor said what was wrong with her?” He asked.
Lilly scoffed. “That’s none of your business.”
“Lilly.” The note of exasperation in his voice was much too familiar. “What did the doctor say?”
“Fine,” Lilly snapped. “Severe dehydration and emotional trauma. You destroyed her, both emotionally and physically. Are you happy?”
Angela heard his sharp intake of breath. His footsteps edged towards the door. A few seconds later, she heard the door close behind him.
“You can cut out the act now,” Lilly said with a giggle. “He’s gone.”
Angela opened her eyes, grinning sheepishly at her best friend. “How did you know?”
“Please.” Lilly rolled her eyes as she poured some water into a crystal glass and stuck a straw in it. “I’ve never seen anyone so still. Were you trying to play dead or something? Here, you must be parched.”
Angela dutifully took a long sip of water through the straw as Lilly held it up for her. She suddenly frowned.
“Whatever happened to plastic hospital cups?” She asked, looking around the surprisingly spacious, well-appointed room. “And which hospital is this?” She added with growing alarm. “Because I don’t think my insurance covers five star…”
“Relax.” Lilly cut in. “It’s all covered. That assho… I mean,
Dimitri
,” she dutifully corrected as Angela glared at her. “Anyway, he insisted on moving you here. It’s the finest medical center in town. Five-star accommodation with a personal butler at your disposal. But I sent him away.”
“I don’t want to be here,” Angela protested, throwing off the covers. “I’d like to go to a hospital where I can pay my own medical bills, thank you. I don’t need anything from him. Lil, help me out of this bed.”
“Actually, um, you might want to stay here,” Lilly said quietly. “This hospital has some of the best doctors in the country.”
“What?” Angela’s eyes widened at the look on Lilly’s face. “Lilly, what’s wrong with me? You told him dehydration, right?”
“Yes. But there’s more.” She hesitated. “God, Angela, I don’t know how to tell you this but…”
At that moment, the door opened and a young blonde doctor walked in.
“Miss Banner,” He smiled brightly at Angela as he took her pulse. “I’m Doctor Robin. Good to see that you’ve come around. How are you feeling?”
“What’s wrong with me?” Angela was unable to keep the panic out of her voice.
The doctor glanced at Lilly. “You haven’t told her yet?”
“I was just about to,” Lilly whispered.
“What?” Angela’s eyes darted from Lilly to the doctor. “What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing,” the doctor assured her. “Other than severe dehydration and exhaustion, you’re in perfect health. However, we did find something in your blood work and further tests confirmed it for us.” He beamed at her. “Miss Banner… you’re pregnant.”
Angela’s insides turned to ice. She stared at the doctor, unable and unwilling to trust her own ears. “What?”
Doctor Robin’s smile faltered at the look on her face. “I take it that’s not good news?” He glanced at Lilly who shook her head.
Angela’s hand gingerly moved to her lower stomach. She did some rapid calculations in her head, suddenly realizing that she was stupid enough not to have noticed her missed cycle. She’d always been regular, exactly on schedule every single month. How could she not have noticed it?
“How…” She cleared her throat as she looked at the doctor again. “How far along am I?”
“We’ll need to schedule an ultrasound to be certain but I would estimate around seven to eight weeks.” He hesitated. “It’s still in the early stages if you want to consider your… other options.”
“Yes.” Angela answered almost instinctively. “Yes, I’d like my other options, thanks.”
“Angie, are you sure?” Lilly’s voice was soft as she moved towards the bed. “You just woke up. Maybe you should take some time to think about…”
“No. I’m fine.” She looked blankly at her best friend. “I’m tired. I would like to be alone now, please.”
“Sure.” The doctor made a few notes on her chart. “You should get some sleep. I’ll have word with our resident OBGYN and schedule an appointment for you. You can discuss all your options with her.”
“Thanks,” she muttered under her breath as he retreated.
“Angie…” Lilly started, walking towards the bed.
Angela held up a shaky hand and shook her hand. “Don’t,” she said in a choked voice. “Lil, I really need to be alone now.”
Her friend paused in mid-step and nodded. “Alright. I’ll give you your space. But I’m here if you need me, babe.” She wrapped her arms around Angela in an impulsive hug.
Angela fought back tears as she buried her face in her best friend’s shoulder. “He doesn’t know yet, does he?” Her voice was muffled.
“No. And I made sure the doctors won’t tell him, either.”
“Good.” Angela sniffled and pulled away. “That’s good.”
Lilly kissed her hair. “See you soon, babes,” she said and left.
Alone in the overly-luxurious hospital room, Angela lay on her back, her hand unwilling crawling towards her stomach again. She’d never given much thought to being a mother before. Technically she wasn’t going to lose anything since she hadn’t even known that she was pregnant. It could all be over by the end of this week. It would be like nothing ever happened.
Yet, for one brief instant, she was unable to hold back a much-too-vivid vision of a little dark haired girl with pale brown skin, a perfect combination of her and Dimitri’s. Maybe she would even have his caramel eyes. And next to them was Dimitri, his hand curved around her waist, his lips pulled in the one-sided grin that she loved so much.
Angela blinked and the vision was gone.
Unable to bear it any longer, she rolled over in bed, howling in her pillow as she sobbed for the life she would never have and for the child who wasn’t meant to be born.
She had her appointment with the OBGYN the following morning.
“Hello.” The pretty redheaded doctor stood up and shook her hand as Angela walked into the consultation room. “I’m Doctor Nelson.”
“Angela Banner,” she said blankly.
“Have a seat, Angela.” Doctor Nelson consulted her chart. “It says here that you were admitted for dehydration?”
“Yes.” Angela cleared her throat. “I don’t know what happened. I was at work when I passed out.”
“I see.” The doctor smiled kindly at her. “Dizzy spells, fainting, and weakness often happen during the early stages of pregnancy. I trust you’re feeling better now?”
“Much better, thank you.”
“Great.” She made a few notes on the chart and looked up with another warm smile. “Shall we have a look?”
Angela frowned. “A look?”
Doctor Nelson laughed as she stood up. “A look at your uterus. I’d like to do an ultrasound to check on the fetus.”
She stared at the doctor. “But… that’s hardly necessary, is it? I told Doctor Robin that I would like to… to…” She swallowed. “I would like to terminate the… thing.”
“Regardless, we still have to perform an ultrasound,” Doctor Nelson said gently. “I cannot proceed with an abortion unless I take a look.”
Angela was trembling as she removed her clothes, donned the paper dress, and climbed onto the table. She put her feet in the stirrups and took a deep breath, turning her head away from the monitor. She wouldn’t look at it. She would just go ahead and pretend like she wasn’t… pregnant.
Doctor Nelson pushed up the paper dress and squirted some gel on her stomach. “Sorry, I know it’s a bit cold.”
“It’s okay,” Angela muttered.
“So, what do we have here?” The doctor murmured as she pulled a stool closer to the bed and smeared the gel around her lower belly with the wand. “Let’s see…”
Angela squeezed her eyes shut. She refused to see the thing. Not even by accident. For all she cared, it was just a mass of cells. She had no idea how it happened - she’d never once forgotten her pills. It wasn’t supposed to happen. It was supposed to be a mere fling - friend with benefits at best. It was supposed to be over.
And yet, like a little miracle, it did happen.
“Here we are,” Doctor Nelson murmured. “You don’t need to watch,” she added. “I’m going to turn the screen away from you.
“Wait.” Angela suddenly opened her eyes. “No. I want to see it.”
The doctor looked at her in surprise. “Are you sure? Most women choose not to view the ultrasound if they want to terminate the pregnancy.”
“I want to see it,” Angela repeated. “Please.”
“Alright, then.” The doctor turned the screen towards her. “There you go. The fetus is right here,” she pointed towards a small blob in the middle of the screen. Angela stared at it, transfixed, and although it was barely discernable she could see it. She could make out the little bump that should be the head and the stumps that would have grown into arms and legs. There it was; the visible proof of her hushed-up tryst with Dimitri.
A sob broke in her throat and she turned her face away.
“Here you go,” Doctor Nelson handed her a tissue.
“Thanks,” she muttered, wiping her cheeks.
“I think we’re done.” The doctor announced as she pushed the table away and removed her gloves. “Why don’t you get dressed and then we’ll have a talk?”
Angela discreetly wiped her eyes as she changed behind the screen. She took a deep breath and shook her head, trying to clear the powerful current of emotions that gripped her body. Getting emotional wouldn’t change a thing. Their relationship was over. She had a career. She was all alone. There was no one who could help her take care of the… the thing. She had no choice.
“So.” Doctor Nelson smiled at her as she sat down. “You want to terminate the pregnancy, is that correct?”
“Yes.” Angela stared at the table.
“I’m obliged to ask you whether you thought carefully about this decision. Are you absolutely sure that you want to abort?”
Angela didn’t afford herself the luxury of mulling over the question. “Yes.”
“Alright, then.” Doctor Nelson made a few notes. “Well, at this stage, it’s still relatively safe for me to perform the procedure,” she said, picking up Angela’s chart again. “However, given your present medical condition, I would rather wait a few days before I schedule the termination. Your blood pressure and sugar are a bit low at the moment. Why don’t I prescribe you some vitamins and then schedule an appointment for next week?”
“Thank you,” she muttered as the doctor wrote her prescription. “Doctor, Nelson…”
“Yes?” The doctor prompted.
“Will it hurt?” She whispered.
“No. You’re still early so it will be a simple intervention that will take place in stages across a few days. You will be given vaginal and oral pills that will terminate the pregnancy and flush the remains out of your system.”
Angela tried not to wince. “No. I mean… it. Will it hurt it?”
Doctor Nelson’s smile was sympathetic. “Angela, at this stage, the brain cells are not yet developed. It has no senses so it will not feel anything.”
“Okay.” Angela nodded emphatically. “Okay. That’s good.”
“So, here’s your prescription and I will see you here next Wednesday. Is this okay?”
“Yes.” Angela shakily got back to her feet. “Thank you.”