“I needed a drink.” I gestured behind me.
I started to ask her how much longer we planned to stay when I realized that she wasn’t alone. Behind her was a gorgeous specimen of a man with dark eyes and milk chocolate skin. He wasn’t outrageously dressed, and didn’t have a collar or anything like that, but it was clear he was submissive. Everything about him said that he wanted Juliette to be in charge of him, even if only for one night.
“This is Sam,” she said. She grinned at me. “It’s been a hell of a week, and I’d love to blow off some steam.”
“Go ahead,” I said.
“Are you sure?” she asked. “I can just grab a room here and make it quick.”
I knew she’d do that for me, but I could also tell that she needed the outlet. What happened last night with her car had been stressful enough. Add in bringing me here...I knew it’d been as stressful for her as it had been for me. I’d said I was okay with her lifestyle, but saying it in the comfort of an apartment, with just the two of us and the theory of things, was one thing. Being face-to-face with it was something else.
“I’m sure.” I smiled to let her know I was okay. “Should I wait to go home?”
She shook her head. “I never bring men back to the apartment. That’s a boyfriend step.” She glanced over her shoulder at Sam, then looked back at me. “There’s a hotel nearby that works with the club for people who want a little more than one of the play rooms.”
“So I shouldn’t wait up then?” I teased.
She rolled her eyes. “Are you okay getting a cab home?”
I nodded. “It’s not a problem. I’ll probably hang out a bit longer and then head back.”
She gave me a quick hug. “If you decide to go with someone, make sure you let him know you’re not into all this, and text me with his picture.”
“Yes, Mom.” It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Go get your freak on.”
She laughed as she turned back to Sam, and I ordered a second drink as I watched them walk away. Two was my limit before I’d actually get drunk, and that was as far as I was going tonight. I wasn’t about to do anything stupid.
Chapter Seven
I realized that I was a bit tipsier than I should’ve been from drinking just two shots, especially since I’d made a point of eating before I’d come, and I’d been drinking plenty of water. Still, the ground spun under my feet and my stomach was queasy. I had a bad feeling I’d be spending the rest of the night, and some of tomorrow, huddled over the toilet. I was just glad there were two bathrooms in Juliette’s apartment. I was trying very hard to be a good houseguest, and I didn’t think hogging the only bathroom so I could vomit would be on that list.
I desperately needed to go home and lay down. I started for the door, keeping one hand on the wall to keep me steady. A security guard asked if I was okay, which I appreciated, but I politely refused his help. I’d be fine once I got outside. The fresh air would help clear my head.
I wasn’t sure how many times I’d repeated that mantra by the time I reached the front door, but it’d started to lose meaning and was quickly becoming a series of words that didn’t make sense. I stepped outside, and then to the right so I could lean against the wall for a moment.
I closed my eyes as I leaned against the coolness of the brick. Taking a deep breath, I tipped my head back. Much better. Granted, the aroma of Los Angeles wasn’t as nice as back home – too many cars and people here, not enough trees – but it was still better than it was inside.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I suddenly realized that my face was damp, and it wasn’t from sweat. This was a cool mist.
I opened my eyes to see rain. I frowned, not so much at the rain itself as at the promised Hollywood weather. I was from Ohio. We had rain alternatives for every holiday. Fourth of July. Halloween. Christmas. We weren’t Seattle, but we did have our fair share of wet days. Then again, we also had sunny, cloudy, hot, and cold, sometimes all in the same day. Here, however, I thought the rainy days and nights would be few and far between.
It was just my luck that one of the few rainy nights the area got had to be a night I was standing outside a club, looking for a cab.
It was fairly warm, but I knew it wouldn’t be if I got wet. At the moment, I was only feeling a light mist because I was leaning against the wall and the overhang offered a bit of protection. I could see a drizzle coming down just a foot or so in front of me, and the only way I’d be able to get a cab’s attention would be to step right out into it.
I straightened, took a moment to ensure that I was steady, and then walked to the edge of the sidewalk. I shivered as the cold drops hit my bare skin. It might’ve been June, but that didn’t mean the rain would be warm yet.
I stuck out my hand, intending to wave down the first taxi I saw. Except there weren’t any. I wasn’t sure if I’d just caught a lull in traffic or if some higher power was determined to punish me for drinking. Or watching a couple have sex. Or maybe it was for leaving home.
The sudden burn of tears in my eyes surprised me, as did the accompanying wave of homesickness. I hadn’t felt it at all this week, and I’d never really felt homesick at college either. Then again, that might’ve been more because I hadn’t really felt like I was away from home at that point. I hadn’t felt that until I’d stepped off the plane here.
I brushed my hands across my eyes, hoping anyone passing by would assume I was wiping away rain. I’d worn waterproof make-up because I’d known I’d be sweating, but now I was doubly glad of it. I wouldn’t have wanted to be standing here, looking even more like a drown rodent than I already did.
The rain was coming down harder now and my dress was soaked clean through. I made a mental note to take a ton of vitamins when I got back to the apartment. The last thing I needed right now was to get sick because my resistance was down. I pushed my hair back from my face as I looked from one end of the street to the other. There were other people on the sidewalk, some with umbrellas, some walking toward cars they’d clearly valeted. I saw a few getting into limos.
“But not a single fucking taxi,” I muttered.
I had options that even my muddled brain could think of. I could go back inside, and ask the bartender to call me a taxi. I could call information on my phone, and get connected to a taxi company, hoping it was the one with the best rates. I could try to figure out one of those car service apps. Or I could completely humiliate myself by trying to get ahold of my sister, either by calling or actually walking down to the hotel and wait for her.
I was debating my options when a sleek black limo pulled up right in front of where I was standing. I blinked as the back window rolled down, and a slightly familiar male voice came out of the darkness.
“What are you doing?”
I frowned. The question was far too sharp for a stranger.
“Hanna!”
I blinked, shaking my head to clear away some of the fog. Someone had said my name.
The door to the limo opened and a man got out. Tall. Muscles. Hot. I stared up at his face, the rain blurring my vision. At least I thought it was the rain.
“Get in.”
I took a step back as the man reached for my arm. “Waiting for a cab.” The words felt thick on my tongue.
“You won’t get a cab anytime soon.” The man came closer and gazed up the sky. “It’s raining. Everyone in this city is looking for a cab right now.”
“Well, shit.” I sighed.
The man laughed, sounding startled as much by his laughter as what I’d said.
“Hanna, please get in the limo. You’re soaked, and I’m getting wet. I’ll take you home.”
Now he was close enough that I had to tilt my head way back to see him. His features ran together for a moment, then settled.
“Oh, it’s you.” The words popped out, and I suddenly realized that the filter that usually kept things inside my head wasn’t working at the moment.
Shit again.
Another chuckled from the man who I now realized was Cross Phillips. This one was amused, but there was an undercurrent of something I couldn’t quite place. I wondered if I’d have been able to get that same sound if I hadn’t had those shots.
“Is it a good thing, or a bad thing, that it’s me?” he asked as he slid an arm around my waist.
I shivered, but this time it wasn’t from the cold. I liked the feel of him next to me, the strength of his arm around me.
“Bad,” I said despite how much I liked that it was him. “My sister said to stay away from you.”
“Oh, did she?”
The question was clearly rhetorical, said so softly I almost hadn’t heard it. Still, I answered, “Yup, she did.”
I was already in the backseat of the limo before I realized it. Then he was moving me over as he got in next to me. He closed the door and turned toward me, a puzzled expression on his face.
“Why were you standing out in the rain?”
“I told you, I was trying to get a taxi.” I slid further away from him.
Something sad went across his eyes and then disappeared. “I’m not going to hurt you, Hanna.” He turned from me and rummaged in some small compartment. He pulled out a few small hand towels and handed me two of them, keeping one for himself.
“Isn’t that what you like to do though?” I asked as I began to dry myself off.
“What?”
“Hurt people.” I was vaguely aware that this probably wasn’t an appropriate conversation, but I couldn’t help myself. My inhibitions seemed to be even lower than they usually were when I drank.
There was no way this was going to end well.
“I mean, you like the whole whipping and binding thing, right? Doing it to other people.”
His eyes darkened. “What, exactly, did your sister say about me?”
“That you’re a Dominant,” I said, rubbing the towel over my hair. “And that I should stay away from you.”
I felt his eyes on me and flushed, grateful for the warmth now that my body was registering my wet clothes. The sudden shift in temperature made my head spin though and I leaned back in the seat. I should leave, find another ride home. Juliette wouldn’t like that I accepted his offer, even if it was just an innocent ride home.
“Do you want me to stay away from you?”
My eyes jerked open and I stared at him. He hadn’t moved from his place near the door, hadn’t tried to get closer to me while I’d had my eyes closed. He was watching me as intently as he had when I’d been dancing, except now there was nowhere for me to go, no one to hide behind.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. When I shivered again, he shrugged out of his jacket and handed it to me.
“It’s damp, but it’s better than nothing,” he said.
I took the jacket and pulled it over me. I appreciated the fact that he hadn’t used the opportunity to get into my personal space, or to try to put his arm around me and offer his body heat for warmth.
“Was tonight your first night at a club?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I went to clubs back home.”
That half-smile made his dimple emerge again. “And where’s home?”
“Ohio,” I said.
“Southern, I’m guessing.”
I nodded, snuggling under the jacket and trying not to look like I was enjoying the spicy scent of him.
“You have a lot of S&M clubs there?”
Heat flooded my face. “Oh, that kind of club. Um, no. Hadn’t been to one before. Juliette took me. Obviously. I wanted to see it. See what her world was like.” Shit. I was babbling.
“Her world?” He shifted in his seat. “Not yours?”
“No.” I shook my head, then made a face when the motion made the world spin and blur around me. My stomach flipped and churned. “Not my world.”
“Are you a virgin?”
My head snapped up, mouth falling open. “You – I mean – that’s not – oh fuck.”
“Easy,” he said softly. He leaned forward and opened a small refrigerator. He grabbed a bottle of water and held it out to me. “I didn’t mean to offend you,” he said.
“You seem to do that a lot for someone who doesn’t mean it,” I said as I took the water. I gulped down half of it at one go, not having realized how thirsty I was until I started drinking.
“I’m just trying to figure you out,” he admitted. He ran his hand over his face. “I don’t meet a lot of women like you.”
I wasn’t sure how to take that, but I thought he meant it as a compliment. “No,” I said quietly.
“No?”
“I’m not a virgin.” I gave him a smile that felt a little strange on my face. “But I’m not what Juliette is either. Not like you.”
I thought he would say something about that, ask me something, but the edges of my vision started to gray. I could see his mouth moving, heard sounds, but couldn’t put them into words. He might’ve said my name, might’ve come closer to me, touched me, but I didn’t know any of it. My world went black and I didn’t know anything.
Chapter Eight
Waking up was like slogging through sand. Wet sand. While wearing twenty pounds of armor.
Usually I woke up quickly. One moment I was asleep, sometimes dreaming sometimes not, and then I’d be awake. If I’d been drinking the night before, it was the nausea or headache that woke me. Sometimes it’d be a bad dream. No matter what it was, though, it was always easy.