Chapter Thirteen
Tamara whistled as she walked into Charlotte’s hospital room, feeling much better than she had this morning. She might have been a complete failure in Girlfriend 101 last night, but this morning she’d earned some serious brownie points. The power of the blowjob was remarkable.
“Hey, Momma.”
Charlotte turned to look at her and smiled. For someone who’d given birth less than twenty-four hours ago, she looked great. Motherhood suited Charlotte, just as Tamara knew it would. “Hey. I didn’t know you were coming back so soon.”
“Are you too tired for company?” Tamara stood at the foot of the bed, willing to go if need be.
“Heck, no.” Charlotte hit a button on her remote control to raise the bed. She winced when she came to a forty-five-degree angle, but then smiled. “I’m bored out of my mind.”
“Where’s Ty?”
“He went home to shower, then bring me back something to eat.”
Tamara sat down in the chair closest to the bed. “He stayed all night?”
“Yes, despite the fact the nurses asked him to go.” Charlotte grinned.
“They didn’t make him?”
“Have you met my husband?”
Tamara grinned. “Enough said. Where’s the princess?”
“She was sleeping, so I let them take her. She should be back soon, though. They want me feeding every two hours.”
Tamara eyed her friend’s breasts. They didn’t seem any larger than normal. “You packing yet?”
“No, my milk’s not in yet, but the colostrum is.”
Tamara crinkled her nose in disgust. “Okay, I don’t know what that is, but we’re going to pretend like I do.”
“You’ll learn soon enough.”
“Not too soon, thank you.”
“Uh-huh,” Charlotte teased. “I’ve seen that look in Russell’s eyes. You’ll be wedded and bedded before long.”
“Well, the bedded part for sure.” Russell hadn’t made any mention of weddings, which was fine as far as Tamara was concerned. She could only handle so much change at one time.
“So how did the show go?”
“It went well. I received a call this morning. Lilith said she sold all the pictures. Even one of a certain someone heavy with child,” she said referring to the picture she took of a close-up of Charlotte’s belly. As soon as she had heard it sold, she knew exactly who’d bought it. “I thought I told you I would make you a copy of it.”
“I didn’t want a copy, I wanted that one. Besides, when you’re famous, I can say I knew you when.”
“You guys didn’t have to do that.” But it touched her that they had.
“Of course we did. Keep in mind, we only bought one photo. That means you sold four more all on your own.”
“I did, didn’t I?” Tamara puffed her chest with pride.
“Yes, you did.”
“Lilith was pretty impressed with my debut. She wants more of my work. I think I might need to get an agent.”
Charlotte’s eyes widened in wonder. “Serious?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.”
Their one-word exchange made Tamara chuckle. “I know. It’s hard to believe, even though it’s happening to me.”
“So yesterday was the best day ever.”
“Well, almost.” Tamara crinkled her nose at the thought of how bad it could have been.
“Almost?”
“Yes, I nearly screwed things up with Russell.”
“Impossible.” Charlotte waved her hand as if she could erase Tamara’s words. “You could coldcock that man’s momma and he’d forgive you. Of course, you probably wouldn’t be able to sit down for a month.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“Well, what did you do?”
“Nothing in my book. At first, anyway.”
“What about his?”
That was a completely different story. “I never told him about the pictures I took of Christian, and it upset him.”
“You didn’t?” The censure in Charlotte’s voice made her wince.
“I didn’t do it on purpose, really, I didn’t.”
“You accidentally kept it from him?” Sarcasm dripped from Charlotte’s words.
“Okay, see, when you say it like that it sounds stupid.”
“Probably as stupid as when you said it.”
“Ouch.” Tamara let out a deep sigh. “You know, this having someone to answer to isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
“It has its perks.”
“Yeah, but the downsides are a killer.” Tamara grimaced. “Can you believe that I actually felt bad? Me?”
“Guilt is a bitch, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is, stinky guilt.”
“Welcome to the world of relationships.”
“Lucky me.” Tamara frowned. “You know what I don’t get.”
“Men?”
That was a given. “Besides that.”
“No, what?”
“It’s only been two months. Two. Why in the world do I give a flying fuck about what he thinks or feels, and I’m not just talking about this incident. I think about him all the time, not just what he’s doing, but how’s he doing. The other night, he sounded really tired and wasn’t going to come over, so I took a cab to his house to see him.”
“Aww…that’s so sweet.”
“That’s my point. Since when have you ever known me to be sweet?”
“I’ve always thought you were sweet.”
“Well, to my family and friends, maybe, but to a guy I was just sleeping with, never that.”
“Maybe because he’s not just some guy you’re sleeping with.”
“Tell me about it,” she said putting all the confusion she felt in her voice. “When did that happen?”
“What?’
“When he did slip under my fuck-buddy barriers and become someone I care about?”
“I don’t know.”
“Me, either, but let me tell you something, sister, I don’t like. Not one bit.”
“Why?”
“Did you miss the point when I said two months?”
“What’s time have to do with anything?”
“Everything.” Tamara fumed more to herself than to Charlotte. “It doesn’t make sense for me to care for him deeply. Other than the two of you, we have nothing in common. He’s a cowboy, for goodness’ sake.”
“Yet you love him.”
“Yes…wait…no.” Charlotte burst out laughing much to Tamara’s irritation. “What’s so funny?”
“You are. You sound just like me when I fell for Ty. So let me do you a favor and save you a whole lot of heartache. You love him, Tamara. I know you do. He probably knows you do, and if you’re honest with yourself, you know you do. So just admit it.”
“I will admit no such thing. Two months, Charlotte.”
“Love, Tamara, doesn’t care about race, religion, gender, or time. It’s a gift, and if you’re lucky enough to find someone who cares for you back, then embrace it and thank the good Lord, because not everyone is so blessed to receive that gift.”
Tamara opened her mouth, although for the life of her she had no idea what she was going to say. There was no doubt in her mind she’d fallen for him. His opinion of her wouldn’t matter so much if she hadn’t. She just didn’t know how to say it or prove it, without doing something outlandish like saying the “L” word.
To make matters worse, Charlotte’s arguments actually made sense, even though she didn’t want to admit it. She was thankfully stopped from having to confess that sad fact, however, when the nurse pushed open the door with little Candace in her arms.
“This one has been asking for her momma.”
“Saved by the bell,” Charlotte muttered as she smiled and took the baby into her arms.
Tamara couldn’t have agreed more. “And what a beautiful belle she is.” She smiled over at her godchild while Charlotte got the mewling girl settled at her breast. It took a few tries before the pale-skinned beauty latched on correctly and quieted down to a homemade meal.
Charlotte winced at first, but soon the grimace melted into a content smile. She lovingly caressed the nearly hairless head of her daughter and cooed softly to her as Tamara looked on with envy.
If she had a child with Russell, chances were that he or she would be this lovely, but theirs. All theirs. Her heart flipped like a somersault in her chest, not just at the thought of having a beautiful baby, but also at the thought of having Russell’s baby, which in itself was scary and yet somehow exciting at the same time. She waited until after the nurse left before speaking again. “Do you still get stupid stares and backhanded comments?”
“Every day and twice on Sunday,” Charlotte answered without looking up.
“You might want to consider changing churches, then.”
Laughing, Charlotte looked back up. “You know what I mean, goof.”
“I do.” Tamara let out a heavy sigh.
“But you didn’t ask me the biggie.”
“What’s that?”
“If it’s worth it.”
“Is it?” she asked, even though she already knew the answer.
“Absolutely.”
* * *
After seeing the interior designer out, Russell did a solo walk through his house, pleased with what he saw. Everything he’d hoped for was alive in the rooms before him. Now all he needed to bring his dream to life was a family to fill the house. Lucky for him, he had the perfect candidate in mind for the job.
Despite all the obstacles that might come, he knew without a shadow of a doubt Tamara was the woman for him. And for a man who just two months ago had shuddered at the thought of matrimony, that was a huge admission. They weren’t going to get married tomorrow, heck, maybe not this year, but it was going to happen. Of this he was sure.
In fact, while his checkbook was still at the ready, he figured he might as well give the contractor a call. It couldn’t possibly take that long to add a darkroom onto the house.
Smiling at the thought, Russell started back down the stairs, crinkling his brow when the doorbell rang. He could have sworn Tamara took a set of house keys with her.
“Back already?” he asked as he swung the door open. “I was sure you were going to stay at the hos—” Russell’s words died out as he spotted Sandra standing on the other side of the door. She smiled brightly at him as he stared down at her, partly in shock, partly in irritation. She had no business being here, a fact he was apparently going to have reiterate to her once more.
“You thought I was going to do what?”
“I thought you were someone else,” he said in a flat and uninterested tone.
“Really? Who?”
“Tamara.” Russell wasn’t going to mince words with Sandra. After the party, he’d been straight up with her, letting her know in no uncertain terms just where they stood with one another. Nowhere.
“She’s still around?” She said it as calmly as if she was talking about a stray cat.
Russell ground his teeth together and counted to ten silently before answering. “Yes. She is.”
“Interesting.”
“No, what’s interesting is you showing up.” Russell crossed his arms over his chest. “What do you want, Sandra?”
“I heard through the grapevine that the house was done. I wanted to get a tour.”
“I don’t think so.”
Her smile dimmed. “Come on, Russell, for old time’s sake.”
“No.” His curt answer caused her smile to drop altogether.
She looked shocked, the first real emotion he’d thought he’d ever seen on her face. “Can I at least come in? I need to talk to you.”
“About?”
“It’s private.”
Russell made a show of looking behind her. “We’re in the middle of nowhere, Sandra; it doesn’t get more private than this.”
“Don’t make me beg, Russell.”
He was a fool, and he knew it. “Ten minutes.” Russell moved back and let her enter, even though his common sense told him to do otherwise.
Russell led the way to the living room, refusing to detour to any other room. He even went as far as to stand while she took a seat on the couch, in hopes of cutting her stay even shorter. This wasn’t a social visit, and he wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.
Sandra, of course, could never do things the easy way. Instead of sitting back like most people would have, she sat stiffly, crossing her legs at the ankle and her hands at the wrist on top of her lap. The classy look, which was what he assumed she was going for, did nothing for him.
“Well.” He hoped he sounded as bored as he felt.
Her lower trembled and her voice shook. “Where did we go wrong?”
“Probably about the time you thought we were a we.”
“How can you be so cruel?”
“Because kindness didn’t work.” Russell didn’t like being put into the role of the bad guy. It, along with their fictitious relationship, wasn’t something he’d signed up for. “Sandra, there is nothing and there has never been anything of substance between us. We weren’t even exclusive.”
“What do you mean?”
Russell regarded her with cold disdain. “You don’t think your extra outings were a secret, did you? In a town this small, you really should know better.”
“I only went out with those other guys to make you jealous.” As if on cue, crocodile tears began to make a slow trek down her pale checks.
“Did you fuck them for me too?”
She gasped. “I never—”
“Oh please.” This was growing old. “Don’t mistake my silence for ignorance. I condoned it because I didn’t care. I still don’t.”
“Did you ever care for me?”
“As a friend, but nothing more.” He wasn’t a cruel man. Having this conversation with her wasn’t something he was enjoying, but he wasn’t going to be manipulated by her. “It’s inevitable that we’re going to run into each other from time to time. I’d prefer we were able to chat amicably when we do.”
“Amicably.” Her voice took on a shrill like quality. “I love you, Russell.”
“I’m with Tamara now.”
“What about me?”
Russell wanted so badly to say, “What about you?” but he held it back. “You’ll be fine. You always are.”
“Maybe I’m tired of being fine.” Sandra rose quickly and walked over to him, dropping down on her knees before him. “I want you, and I’m willing to do anything to prove it.”
There were so many places Russell would have preferred to be at that exact moment in time, and none of them was where he was at. Of all the many times Russell had seen Sandra on her knees before him, this was by far his least favorite and the most annoying.
“Get up, Sandra.”
“Not until you listen to reason.”
“What you’re saying isn’t reason. It’s foolishness.”
“You’re calling my love for you foolishness?”