Authors: Jeannette Barron
The baby's hearty kick accompanied by a moan from
Lily, broke his concentration. Shaking himself from his meditation, Jimmy joked, "My mom always said that I was born with my cowboy boots on. Maybe Stinky here will be too."
Lily quipped, "If that's true, she's grounded."
She posed like a Buddha figurine, while the three of them watched and laughed at the efforts of the baby to work off her sugar high. The conversation drifted from companionable silence to a team plan of action for when the big day arrived. Their time together felt so natural that Jimmy almost forgot that no one had mentioned Lily's meeting with his lawyer earlier that day. The moment he remembered, guilt flooded him. He'd been so angry with Lily, so concerned for his daughter's wellbeing that he'd abandoned what he'd always believed: Lily would always do the right thing and would purposefully hurt no one.
Before she retired to her room, Lily asked Jimmy to read aloud one of the children's books she'd bought, explaining that she'd read that babies can recognize their parents' voices
even in the womb. The affirmation in her request, that she embraced his role as father of their child, made him flinch again with the knowledge of what he'd put her through today, without warning, without merit. The three of them cuddled up together on the couch with Lily in the middle and listened to Jimmy's ridiculous rendition of
Are You My Mother?
complete with different voices for the different characters. It was the perfect ending to an evening that filled him with hope for their future as an untraditional family.
He helped Lily off the couch and followed her around the corner, mouthing to Kim, "
Stay here.
" He needed to re-establish some semblance of a working relationship with the mother of his child. And he believed that should begin with an apology, his apology. "Lily, I need to talk to you about today...with the attorney. I think I may have acted out of line. I should have talked with you first about stuff. I'm sorry."
Lily turned to face him and seemed perfectly at ease with the introduction of what he thought would be a hot topic. "There's nothing to be sorry about. I thought Mr. Shriver was very helpful. All the paperwork is signed. Everybody is going to get what they want. Most importantly this baby will get what she needs." She patted her belly and smiled. "I realize you have to protect her and your family. What you did had to be done."
Relief washed over him. Lily wasn't faking this shift in her attitude. She really had come to peace with whatever demons plagued her. And she didn't hate him for his hasty response. He kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Thank you for tonight. And I'm glad you're feelin' better."
"I'm feeling much better. And don't worry, I won't have a relapse. I promise."
22
Lily's transformation triggered the threesome to spend most evenings together talking, eating, shopping, and prophesying. Puzzled but pleased over the change, Kim diagnosed her roommate's condition as the phenomenon of nesting. Kim concluded that Lily's inherent motherly instincts along with her raging hormones had finally triumphed over her friend's paralyzing insecurities, explaining why she'd suddenly joined them in gushing over her unborn child. Jimmy wavered between agreeing with Kim, that Lily had succumbed to the natural inclinations of motherhood, and blaming the ruthless tactics of his lawyer in scaring her into action. Either way, the past two weeks of Lily's warmth and enthusiasm had made up for the last four months of her cold apathy. Just as he first believed when he'd been told of Lily's pregnancy, he again couldn't help but think that everything would be all right.
The call came as Jimmy was about to leave for work.
Kim's shout, edgy and an octave higher than normal, greeted Jimmy on his home phone. "It's time! It's time!"
Jimmy squelched his reflex to respond with equal panic. "Is Lily in labor?"
"No, Jimmy," her voice oozing with sarcasm, "this is a public service call reminding you
it's time
to change the battery in your smoke detectors."
He snapped, "Kim!
" and recognized her pouty breathing through the receiver. He'd gotten her attention and probably hurt her feelings too.
Great!
"Sugar," he continued in a gentler tone, "you need to calm down. Remember the plan. Are you leavin' for the hospital now?"
"Yes. We're leaving." Kim sounded steadier, but was obviously still huffy. "Her bag is packed and in my car. I figure we'll be there in about 20 minutes."
"I need to make a quick call to work then I'll leave and meet you there. If I hit traffic, it will probably take me closer to 40 minutes."
"Fine," she spat.
"Kim?"
"What?"
"I'm sorry I yelled."
Silence.
Jimmy soothed, "I love you and everything is gonna be okay."
"I love you too, you jerk. Make it 35," was her fiery retort before hanging up.
Kim was amazed by how efficient the nursing staff handled the panting pregnant woman at her side. They swept Lily away with commands to breathe deeply as she remained at the desk and answered questions. Thankfully, Jimmy appeared before the interrogation was complete. The circumstances were awkward, unwed pregnant woman whose best friend was all but engaged to the father, and the receptionist wasn't doing a good job hiding her displeasure. Kim, who was usually quick to deflect the opinions of others, was feeling raw and her temper failed to rise to her aid. When the strength of Jimmy's arm clasped around her waist and she heard the low timber of his voice, she melted into him, letting him take the reins.
By the time they were allowed to see Lily again, she was settled comfortably in bed with an epidural easing the power of the contractions. Now that the moment of truth was at hand, no one seemed to have anything to say and the rapport that had flourished between them over the last two weeks had all but vanished. Polite inquiries to Lily's every need were asked and attended to until there was nothing left to discuss but the weather.
Lily was the first to circumvent the bogus barriers that had snuck between them. "Jimmy, have you called your family? Are they coming?"
Jimmy looked at Kim, who was perched on the end of the bed
for help, but she just shrugged, making it clear he was on his own. He scratched his head. "Uh... they know, because I had to call my dad and tell him why I wouldn't be into work today." Shoving his hands in his pockets, he stared at his boots, mimicking the stance of a little boy with a big problem. "They want to come up...but I wasn't sure what you wanted. My mom was there for all of Janie's babies. This is different, of course." He stumbled on without a solution. "I know my mom hasn't been very nice to you."
"That's an understatement,"
Kim grumbled.
Jimmy took the hit and sighed,
"Yeah, you're right. But she's still my mom and she's gonna be a grandmother again. I could tell her to behave herself. And Kim's pretty good at handlin' her. I don't know what to do. It's your call, Lily."
Kim joined Jimmy in staring at his boots. It seemed to her that it was a lot to ask to have Jimmy's mom, Grace, in the same room after how clear she'd made it that Lily was merely a conduit for her gra
ndchild and nothing more. But Kim had spent months now as a welcomed addition to the family and had witnessed firsthand the strength and security Grace's acceptance provided. She realized how divided her loyalty was between her best friend and foster family. She imagined how the sting of that rift would burn for the next eighteen-plus years.
Lily grunted with the effort to adjust herself and then answered Jimmy with the same cheerful tone he'd grown accustomed to over the past few weeks. "Jimmy, I'm well aware that your mother isn't thrilled with the circumstances of this birth. And I appreciate you considering my feelings, but when it comes right down to it, this isn't about me or her. This baby has been gifted with a great big family and she should meet them as soon as she can."
"Really?!" Both Jimmy and Kim chimed together.
Lily laughed softly.
"Really. They can come before or after or both, but I have to draw the line at during. I only want you two in here then. I'll play nice, but having your parents in here while...that would just be weird."
Kim took Lily's hand and smiled. "That would be weird. And I don't have to be in the room, either. I've intruded on so many big baby moments already. This is a time for the two of you, the parents."
"You two are getting married soon, right?" Lily asked.
Jimmy answered when Kim hesitated.
"Right. After things settle down a bit."
He stared at Kim
until she nodded her agreement. Until now, this had not been a subject broached in Lily's presence and it felt awkward. Kim was more often than not painfully aware that their situation was backwards. It was possible to forget when she was alone with Jimmy, but certainly not while she waited in the same room where his child was to be born from another woman. She flushed with the hurt that knowledge always carried. She knew he loved her, but she couldn't help but wonder how this baby would change their relationship. It had to. So much love and so much fear were wrapped up in the arrival of one little girl.
Lily laced her fingers into her roommate's. "You asked a while back how you could help and now I know. Be a parent to this baby an
d a good one. She'll need you." Lily's grip tightened. "And don't ever leave her."
Kim's eyes watered as she felt the full force of Lily's words and the history that inspired them, her own history as well as her roommate's. This was their shot at righting the wrong done to them. She would be this baby's step-mother. Her breath caught and the tears fell freely.
"I thought the tears weren't supposed to come until
after
the baby's born," Lily handed Kim a tissue.
"I just realized something." Kim's
voice trembled with emotion. "I know I'm not Stinky's real mom, but I can make sure that she's never alone and that she always has people around who love her. I can give her what I never had." She swallowed hard and continued, "I didn't give up hoping that somebody would adopt me for a long time. It was never about finding my real mom. It was always about finding a true mom. All I ever wanted was to be loved. The blood bond never mattered." She searched Lily's face for shared understanding. Their gazes locked as snapshots in time rewound and fast forwarded, reminding them of who they were and who they are now.
The blast of Jimmy blowing his nose shook them from their meditation. They saw his wet eyes and giggled, both grabbing for tissues themselves.
He blushed and they laughed harder, all of them attempting to get their fluctuating emotions under control. Thankfully, a nurse walked in about that time to check Lily's progress, the interruption helping them regain their composure. Jimmy stepped out to call his family and give them an update as well as invite them to the hospital. Kim crossed the room to be out of the nurse's way and busied herself unpacking Lily's bag, her mind racing with the gravity of her impending role of step-parent in her step-daughter's life. It was amazing how a few words from Lily had brought her so much clarity. She would be more to this baby than mom's friend and dad's wife; she would be family.
"Did you hear that?"
"What?" Kim returned to her friend's side, noticing the nurse had gone.
"I'm six centimeters."
"Four to go." They exchanged a nervous smile.
"I think we need to discuss this name thing more seriously. We can't put Stinky on the birth certificate. What names do you like...for real?" Lily asked.
Kim grabbed a pad of paper and a pen as they began a more deliberate version of their game. Jimmy returned to take Kim's late lunch order and chose not to add to their list, commenting he'd know what to call her when he saw her. Both women scoffed at that idea and instead passed time in pursuit of the perfect name. Their game was later interrupted by the arrival of the cheering squad, Jimmy's family. Rogers Construction had shut down work early.
First, Jimmy brought in his father, Charlie, along with Grace. Charlie clumsily rushed right in, ignoring all the equipment, and grabbed Lily in
a hug. Then, he threw himself into a rough hug with his son, each patting the other on the back so hard it would be a miracle if they didn't leave marks. Kim stood with arms extended, anticipating being lifted and twirled as usual. As Charlie's large form and booming voice filled the room, Grace studied the monitors.
With her arms crossed and her expression bland, Grace pretended to lack interest or excitement. "Based on the spread of your contractions
, I’d guess my granddaughter will arrive by eight."
Lily was the only one who heard her prediction and she nodded her acknowledgement.
Grace's conscience needled her. It was easier to be hostile to Lily when she wasn't lying in a hospital bed ready to give birth to a precious member of her family. She was a mother five times over and already the grandmother of three; Grace knew what it felt like to lay in that bed. Thawing enough to make peace, if only momentarily, she added with quiet gratitude, "Thank you for allowing us to come." She glanced down, making sure Lily heard. After greeting her son and Kim, she left, popping back in sporadically, monitoring Lily's progress, and keeping the nurses on their toes.
Jimmy's brothers arrived together. Their discomfort with the situation, whether it be with the muddled dynamic or with pregnant women in general,
was obvious as they waved a quick hello and retreated just as fast. Janie arrived last and entered the hospital room alone, having left her husband and kids at home. She sat next to Lily in bed, showering her with encouragement, stroking the baby bump, simultaneously soothing her new niece and the soon-to-be new mom.
Kim watched as Lily took each new visitor in stride, never shying away
, even though only Charlie and Janie seemed unruffled by the situation. Her best friend's life was only a short while away from being changed exponentially and she appeared more serene than she'd ever seen her. Those must be some good drugs, because Kim was uncomfortably aware of how she was a sweaty mess from the plethora of different but equally potent emotions washing over her as the clock ticked forward.
With all the traffic in and out, the waiting was less laborious. Because Lily was mostly numb, it was the nurse who provided notice that it was time. Visiting stragglers where ushered out of the room, leaving Kim and Jimmy to take their positions on either side of Lily.
Thirty minutes of pushing brought the baby into the world just before eight o'clock. Lily held her swaddled newborn as Kim and Jimmy nestled next to her in bed and surveyed the new arrival, who cried fiercely at the disruption of her solitude, shaking her red fists in protest before deciding their greater purpose was for sucking on. The threesome laughed and cooed, realizing that once again all of their cheeks were damp. Taking their time before welcoming the crowd, they studied their daughter's form, marveling at her presence. Jimmy took her in his big arms and whispered welcoming words against her fine dark wisps of hair. Lily and Kim cried fresh tears while watching him succumb to the sweetness of his baby. When offered, Kim didn't hesitate taking her turn holding the infant. She understood that they were a team and she cherished her role. None of the complications that their predicament entailed mattered a bit right now. So tiny, so perfect, they all breathed in unison with the new life that had swept them away.
Jimmy hated to disturb the tranquil cocoon that enveloped them, but he could already hear his family stirring in the hall. He interrupted, "After we name her, I'll go tell the mob outside. We'll need to be quick about it, because they aren't a patient group. What names did you two come up with?"