The Boarding House (37 page)

“I have to take the scissors back,” Ellie said.

Cin poked a toe in the hair. “Tell someone to send housekeeping back to clean up this floor, too.”

“I will.”

Ellie gave herself a last careful look, then picked up the scissors and went to find Wanda.

When Ellie got back to the common room, Wanda was bawling and the nurses were frisking every patient personally before they were allowed to leave.

She walked past the line of patients waiting at the door, then over to where Wanda sat and laid the scissors down at her elbow. Wanda registered the haircut before she saw the scissors, and broke out into an even louder wail.

Ellie frowned. “I only borrowed them, and I brought them back the minute I was through with them.”

Wanda’s mascara was running as she grabbed the scissors, stuffed them in her purse and headed for the door, pausing only long enough to deliver the news. “I have my scissors back. I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas, but I won’t be able to return to finish our little projects.”

The staff began talking at once. “Who
 . . .
where did you—”

Wanda pointed at Ellie, then clutched her purse against her chest and headed for the nearest exit. She was actually looking forward to getting home to her kids. They were looking better to her by the minute and they no longer ate glue, which was more than she could say for some of the residents here.

However, Ellie’s troubles had just begun.

The head nurse, a twelve-year veteran of the hospital who went by Nurse Jolly, which Ellie privately thought was a misnomer, grabbed Ellie’s arm and yanked. “Did you take Miss Wanda’s scissors?”

“You’re hurting me,” Ellie said. “Daddy hurt me and Wyatt killed him.”

Nurse Jolly got the message and released her, but didn’t back down. “About the scissors you stole.”

“That’s not true. They were borrowed, not stolen,” Ellie said and pointed to her own head. “How do you like my new look?”

The nurse wasn’t having it. “You are in trouble, Ellie Wayne.”

Ellie’s delight quickly shifted to anger. “Why?”

“You stole something that didn’t belong to you.”

Ellie looked at Nurse Jolly as if she’d just lost her mind, then looked around at the others for a familiar face. It turned out to be Charlie. “Charlie, can you come here a minute? I need your help.”

“Nice hairdo,” he said. “What’s up?”

“Nurse Jolly is hard of hearing like Sophie was. I’ve told her twice now that I didn’t steal Wanda’s scissors, but she can’t hear me. I borrowed them to make my new look. I’m supposed to be changing. Dr. Tyler said so, and God told me growth was change and change is good. So I was only doing what God and Dr. Tyler told me. Can you explain that to Nurse Jolly and tell her I’m sorry she can’t hear good anymore. Tell her she needs to get a hearing aid, or she’ll just disappear like Sophie did.”

Charlie grinned. “Yeah, sure kid, I’ll tell her.”

Ellie beamed. “Thank you.” She waved at Nurse Jolly and then yelled, “Charlie will explain. Have a nice day.”

Ellie could hear people laughing as she walked out. Momma always said the holidays were good for making even the cranky people glad. Momma was right about that.

She dawdled on the way back to her room, wanting to be somewhere and let people see that she was different. Maybe if they recognized the change, it would make her feel it stronger.

She thought about showing Dr. Tyler, but she wasn’t his only patient and he might be busy. She wasn’t allowed to go to his office alone anyway, so that idea was discarded.

Then Luther popped into her head. She stopped in the hall and closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure this would work without the window, but she thought she’d give it a try.

Want to see how I’m changing?

She stood there for a good three minutes without moving, and then opened her eyes to see Luther coming toward her. Without thinking, she stood a little straighter and smiled at him. Luther saw the smile and the haircut and rejoiced in the change he was seeing in her.

“You heard me, didn’t you?” Ellie asked.

Luther smiled.

Ellie was almost dancing from one foot to the other. “What do you think?

He knew she meant her hair, but it was the light in her eyes that gave him joy. “You are glowing.”

Ellie did a three-sixty turn so he could see it all. “I did it myself. Scared Cinnamon, too. She thought I’d ruined it.”

“You scared her? Now that truly is a change.”

Ellie laughed out loud. “You’re right about that.”

She kept talking, unaware she was turning into the lively chatterbox that Cinnamon had been, or that when the transformation was complete, Cinnamon would be gone.

“Ellie.”

“Yes?”

“Have you forgiven yourself yet?”

Her smile slid sideways as she looked away. “I don’t think about it.”

“That’s not change. That’s hiding. You can’t change if you don’t come out of hiding.”

All of a sudden, her lack of hair had taken a backseat to another truth and it seemed she hadn’t done all that much growing after all.

“Don’t be sad, Ellie. Don’t hide what hurt you. Take it out into the light and beat it into so many pieces that it will never be a whole pain again.”

“Into the light?”

“Yes, and until you do that, your father is still controlling you.”

Ellie frowned. “But Daddy’s dead.”

Luther laid a hand on her head. “Not in here, he’s not.” He pointed to her heart. “And not in there, he’s not. You’re holding onto everything that had to do with him.”

All of a sudden, Ellie got it. Her eyes welled and her chin began to quiver. “You’re not just talking about the memories of what Daddy did, are you? You’re talking about Wyatt and Cinnamon, because they are a huge part of that life. You’re telling me I have to let them go, too.”

“Do you see? Already you understand that without me saying the words. Do the work, Ellie. I can’t do it for you.”

He cupped her cheek lightly then ran his forefinger down the side of her hair. “The change is good. What’s next?”

Ellie watched him walk away. He was all the way down at the far end of the hall before it dawned on her that she hadn’t said good-bye. And no sooner had she thought it, than she heard him.

No need for good-byes.

Her heart thumped. She watched him walk into his room and then he was gone.

Ellie’s steps were slower as she returned to her own room. There was a note on the door from Dr. Tyler, but she didn’t bother to read it. Dr. Tyler talked around her problems and wanted her to guess what he was getting at and figure them out for herself. Luther didn’t waste time with all that. He just laid them out and told her to fix them.

It was action versus reaction.

She liked action best.

Wyatt showed up right after lunch.
When he saw Ellie, he freaked. “Cinnamon, what the hell did you do to Ellie’s hair?”

Ellie frowned. “Don’t yell at her. I did this.”

Wyatt couldn’t believe it. “Are you kidding?”

“No, I’m not. What’s so shocking about it? I got tired of looking in the mirror and seeing Daddy’s victim.”

Understanding quickly surfaced. “Oh.”

Cin gave Ellie a hug. “She’s growing, Wyatt
 . . .
by leaps and bounds.”

“I see that.” He ruffled his fingers through the short length and grinned. “Good job.”

She sighed. She and Wyatt had been through so much together. It mattered that he approve. “I’m going to free time. You guys coming?”

They looked at each other then shrugged. “We might show up later.”

“Okay. See ya.’”

As soon as she was gone, Wyatt’s expression went from smiles to shock. “What the hell?”

“She’s getting well, Wyatt.” Cin had already experienced the revelation a day or so earlier. “It’s what we want for her, right?”

He shoved his hands through his hair then dropped onto the bed. “We don’t have much time left, do we?”

“No, and in the words of our inimitable Dr. Tyler, ‘how does that make you feel’?”

Wyatt shuddered. “Scared.”

“Me too.”

“I never really thought about this before.”

Cin sat down beside him. “I can only imagine. You’ve been with her for so long. I’m the new kid on the blockhead, and by the way, that was meant to be funny.”

“Ah, God, I can’t laugh right now.”

“Me either, but we’re still staying true to the plan, right? We let her call the shots. We do not control the situation or jump in and bail her out if she gets into trouble.”

“I remember,” he said.

“You’re not going to change your mind?”

“No. I’ve seen her sad too long to take this away from her now. Besides
 . . .
it only seems fair that I bite the dust since I’m the one who committed murder.”

“No, Wyatt. That wasn’t murder. That was a rescue, and you’ll always be my hero.”

The memory of Garrett’s brains splattering against the headboard of his bed slid through Wyatt’s mind and then out again. He couldn’t look at Cin and remember that.

“So what do you want to do?” she asked.

The change of subject was welcome. Wyatt slapped his legs. “Hell. Let’s go hang out with Ellie while we’ve still got the chance.”

“That’s what I’m talking about.”

Ellie was careful to sidestep
Nurse Jolly when she got to the common room. She didn’t quite understand why Jolly had been so set on accusing her of theft, but was thankful Charlie had run interference. In fact, he’d assured her all was well when he’d come to get her, but she wasn’t taking any chances. She waited until the woman’s back was turned, then slipped past the Christmas tree on her way to Luther’s window. She got a chair from a nearby table and dragged it along behind her until she found the sun, then sat down in it.

Outside, the sky was spitting snow at Memphis with a disdainful attitude, tossing the feeble flakes to and fro with a weak but bitter wind. Knowing how cold it was outside, sitting with the sun on her face made Ellie most grateful. At least for today, it was better to be crazy than homeless.

Hi, God, it’s me, Ellie. I just cut my hair today, so I thought I should give You a heads-up in case You didn’t recognize me.

Lots of things have been happening. They’re all positive, but they’re also getting harder. This isn’t a prayer, but if You have any advice, I would definitely take it. And there’s something else I need to say, but I don’t want You to take it the wrong way. It has been pointed out to me that every time Momma was faced with something difficult, she dumped it in Your lap. She ran away from solving her own problems and I’ve been doing that, too. It’s why Sophie and Wyatt and Cinnamon came to live with me. Instead of facing my problems, I made them do it. I tell You this so that, in the future, if I don’t talk to You as much as usual, You don’t take it the wrong way.