We are going back, to what was once her home. Tomorrow, or the next day, we shall leave. I plan to travel west, retracing my previous route. Beyond Numidia, nobody knows for certain what we shall find. There will be dangers; but I still have the armband given me by Vidimer, I can still clack my few stiff words of German. There are Burgundians both in Hispania and Gaul; we shall have, I think, as good a chance as any. Some trade with Britannia still goes on; we shall follow the coast, try and find a ship bound for the island. If the Gods are generous we shall move north, through and beyond the Wall. There we shall find a tower, reflected in a lake, and the homes of Crearwy’s people; and there perhaps, beyond what was the Empire, we shall find rest.
Few of the Celts remain now. Over the years, the blood ties finally dissolved; there was nothing left, anywhere, for which to fight. Some married and raised families; others drifted away, into the great limbo of the West. But Riconus has stayed. He intends to travel with us. The years have streaked his beard with grey; but he remains as jaunty as ever, and is optimistic as to his fate. He has taken a Roman name, a high-flown name, Arturius; he swears he will wed some wild Princess, and breed a race of Kings.
It has come to me of late that I should like a daughter or a son, but Crearwy has remained barren. I think she uses some skill or knowledge from her native land, but I haven’t questioned her, and never will. She had a family once; and no man can own the earth. Even the Emperors found that.
This manuscript I shall send, not to Roma, but to Constantinopolis. There at least it may survive for a time; or perhaps, like us, it will vanish. For myself, I have come to a composition with my fate. The childhood dreams of glory are gone, destroyed in that Britannic field. Future ages, certainly, will never hear my name; but it is the here, and the now, that are important. To wake, and sleep, and know that one is loved; to hear, as I hear now, the whisper of a footfall; to feel the touch of hands; these things, above all else, are to be desired. I count myself fortunate in that, for a little while, I have known them.
Time, I think, had bred some tolerance in me; I have become reconciled to many things, even the Christian faith. There is much merit in it; though like Cassianus I misdoubt the future. The Church broke Rome, before Alaric came; and still her power grows. If her dream is realised, she too will found an Empire; and that Empire, over the years, could prove to have in it less mercy, less wisdom and understanding, than the Empire of the Caesars themselves.
I have fallen recently much under the influence of Plotinus and the new followers of Plato. In time, I hope, I may reach understanding; that full understanding without which life is meaningless. I sense, dimly and sporadically, the majesty of the One, Totality, Fulfilment; but my faith and the beliefs I have come to hold would be of no interest here, even were I capable of giving them full expression. It will be enough, perhaps, to speak in the language of metaphor and dreams; to say that, beyond our time and the Lands we know, I have come to feel another may exist. A land of sunshine, and eternal peace. There, perhaps, the children may be said to wait; and there too Crearwy and I may one day travel. For we will build ourselves a home, in that misty country I have never seen, where the red deer shout to the dawn and the heather flows purple to the sea. There we will sit; and there too we will wait. For the Boat of Fate, the White Boat, that Boat that sails for ever.
Some place-names of Hispania and Gaul
Barcino Barcelona
Burdigala Bordeaux
Carthago Nova Cartagena
Corduba Cordoba
Cottian Hills Alpes Maritimes
Gades Cadiz
Gesoriacum (Bononia) Boulogne
Italica Nr. Santiponce
Massilia Marseilles
Mediolanum Milan
Toletum Toledo
Valentia Valencia
The Place-names of Britannia
Abonae Sea Mills
Anderita Pevensey
Aquae Sulis Bath
Caesaromagus Chelmsford
Calleva of the Atrebates Silchester
Camulodunum Colchester
Corinium Cirencester
Cunetio Mildenhall
Deva Chester
Dubris Dover
Durobrivae Rochester
Durocornovium Wanborough
Duxovernum Canterbury
Eburacum York
Glevum Gloucester
Isca of the Dumnonii Exeter
Isca of the Silures Caerleon
Lindinis Ilchester
Lindum Lincoln
Londinium (Augusta) London
Luguvalium Carlisle
Magnis Carvoran
Manucium Manchester
Noviomagus Crayford
Pontes Staines
Portus Adumi Portchester
Regulbium Reculver
Rutupiae Richborough
Segedenum Wallsend
Segontium Caernarvon
Sorviodunum Old Sarum
Spinis Speen
Vagniacae Springhead
Venta Caerwent
Verlucio Sandy Lane
Verulamium St Albans
Her administrative districts
Britannia Prima Capital at Cirencester
Maxima Caesarensis Capital at London
Flavia Caesarensis Capital at Lincoln
Britannia Secunda Capital at York
Valentia Capital (probably) at Carlisle
Her rivers
Sabrina Fl. The Severn
Tamesis Fl. The Thames
And her islands
Mona Ins. Anglesey
Vectis Ins. The Isle of Wight