One side of his mouth quirked, but his smile was sad. “It won’t be hard either,” he said. “They must be lining up for one single poke.”
Ria’s hand flew to her mouth.
“Oh come on! You know that’s not what I meant. That came out all wrong. Your talons. I meant your talons. A poke of your—” His smile turned genuine and crinkled his eyes. “I’ll just stop talking now.”
She nodded. “Please.”
And just like that they were laughing. The kind of laughter that starts out in your belly and vibrates through your shoulders. Equal parts relief and embarrassment tied together by so much shared laughter from the past. Sweet pain jabbed at her muscles with every soft staccato burst.
“Shit, that was terrible. I’m sorry,” he said, his shoulders still shaking. “I can’t seem to say anything right anymore, can I?”
“Nope.”
Their eyes met and held. An unguarded moment passed between them. No anger, no pain, just them. Ria and Viky.
She wrapped her arms around herself and let the flash of pain bring her back to reality.
“How’s Mira?” she asked, trying to keep herself grounded in it.
He studied her face, searching for something, but he didn’t shut down. “Pretty upset. I think I really scared her.”
“I’m sorry.” It was Ria’s turn to apologize. She hadn’t been able to get the bewildered hurt on Mira’s face out of her head.
“I can’t hurt Mira like that again. I can’t believe I did that to her yesterday,” he said sounding weary and disappointed with himself.
All his life he’d met every standard he’d set for himself and every standard those around him had set for him. It couldn’t have been easy with two legends for parents. It was the first thing people ever asked him. “You’re Chitra and Ravi Jathar’s son?” His parents had started their company as students at Stanford and grown it into a Fortune 500 corporation within years. As if that weren’t enough, Vikram’s grandfather was the first Surgeon General of India and his grandmother had almost singlehandedly revolutionized fertility treatments in India. His other set of grandparents were decorated social activists who had pioneered community banking in villages to empower women. There were no black sheep in the Jathar family, only grand legacies. But Vikram had never shown any signs of pressure. He’d thrived on it, made it look easy.
Now he looked tired. For the first time since she’d seen him again, there wasn’t an ounce of anger in him. And it broke her heart more than any of his insults had.
“I think we should both stop saying sorry,” he said, his voice completely in control, and far too distant again. And the change in it stung far more than it should have. “I shouldn’t have said any of those things. Ever since you came back, I’ve been acting like an asshole. The truth is I never expected you to come to the wedding. You took me by surprise.”
He had thought she would miss Nikhil’s wedding? How could he think that? He knew what Nikhil meant to her. All the pain in her body gathered in her heart.
But this was exactly what she needed—for him to think of her this way. Not that warmth that had just sparkled between them.
“Actually, I wasn’t going to come back.” The breeziness in her voice was all Ice Princess. “But I needed to get away for a bit. Paparazzi trouble, you know?” She gave a delicate, camera-worthy shrug. “This was the easiest way out.”
Disappointment clouded his eyes. And the dance they’d been dancing between lies and truth continued on to the blaring background score of their past.
He straightened, widening his shoulders to their full glory. His disappointment seemed to ease him. Disappointment was easier than the alternative. “I’m sure Nikhil is glad to be of service.”
She didn’t react. It would’ve been too easy to start another argument.
“I’m sorry, I’m doing it again,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “This should be about Nikhil. Not about us.” His voice hitched slightly on the word
us,
but that might just be her mind playing games. “I thought Nikhil was going to kill one of us yesterday. We can’t do this to Jen and him. It’s not fair.”
“True.” Finally something they agreed on. No lies, no half-truths.
“We’re going to have to live in the same house for another ten days. Are you going to be okay with that?”
She nodded. “You?”
“Of course. We were friends once. We can at least be civil to each other now.”
She smiled. “I’d like civil.”
He stood up and looked down at her. “You ready to head home?” His hands dug deep in his pockets.
Ria stood. Pain stiffened her legs. She had to force herself not to fall back down.
Oh please, just let me get home without completely humiliating myself. Just this one time. I swear I’ll never ever run again. Ever.
She took a few steps, but her legs had turned so heavy and rubbery she wasn’t sure they were even connected to her body anymore. She forced one foot in front of the other, putting all her strength into it. Just when she thought she was going to pull off a graceless hobble back, her foot found a loose rock and twisted around it. Her entire body pitched at the most awkward angle and she landed with a painful thud on her hands and knees.
In a second Vikram was down on his knees next to her. “God, are you okay?” He looked so surprised Ria wanted to laugh. A jolt of pain shot through her knee and she cried out instead. Gently, very gently, he slipped his arm around her and helped her up, supporting her weight with his body.
His strength, his heat—her entire screaming body came alive beneath his touch and made every excruciating stab of pain worth it.
He dusted the gravel off her palms, revealing streaks of blood under scraped skin. The crease between his brows dug deeper. “Can you walk?”
Ria tried to take a step, but her knee couldn’t take her weight and she buckled again. In a single, effortless move he leaned over and swept her up in his arms, pulling her against his chest.
“What are you doing? Put me down.” But it felt too good, too right, and her words fizzled on her tongue. She fought to keep her body rigid, to not notice the irregular strum of his heartbeat against her breast, to not melt into the warmth of his chest, to not reach for that patch of skin at the base of his neck where she had burrowed so many times. The pain, focus on the pain.
“And do what, let you drag yourself home on your elbows?” He strode down the path to the house, carrying her as if she belonged in his arms.
“I can walk,” she said, and his lips curled, tiny crinkles radiating from his eyes.
Her face was too close to his. She could see the hints of tan and pink in his cheeks disappearing into the freshly shaved bristles on his jaw. She could feel the warmth of his breath, the dampness of his hair.
She leaned away from him.
His jaw hardened. “We’re almost home,” he said. “Try to focus on the pain. That should make this more bearable.”
“I thought we were being civil.”
“I’m carrying you. That’s civil enough, don’t you think?”
She didn’t answer. She took his advice and tried to focus on the pain. Her knee pounded, her palms smarted, but all she could think of was the strength of his arms around her and the insanely intoxicating smell of his skin.
As he stepped onto the deck and knocked on the kitchen door with his foot, Ria searched desperately for something, anything, to stop them from opening the door so she could stay in his arms for just a moment longer.
11
A
s soon as Nikhil opened the door and Vikram carried Ria into the house, a flurry of activity erupted around them. Uma and Vijay jumped out of their chairs and ran after them into the living room.
“There, it’s over.” Vikram’s whisper was harsh in her ear, but he put her down on the couch with such gentleness, her stomach contracted in protest to the loss of his touch.
Before she could say anything, Uma went off into a tizzy. “Good God. Ria,
beta,
are you all right? What on earth happened?” She sat down next to Ria, took her hands, and stared at them in despair. “You’re bleeding. Oh God, she’s bleeding. Vijay, she’s bleeding, do something.”
Before Vijay Kaka could react, Vikram rubbed Uma’s shoulders. “Relax, Uma. She tripped. They’re just surface scratches.” His voice was calm, but the crease between his brows was a deep slash across his forehead. “I think she hit her knee. Nic, can you take a look?”
Nikhil was already squatting next to Ria and rolling up her pant leg.
“It’s the other one.” Vikram pointed to her right leg.
“Look at you, my poor baby.” Uma pushed Ria’s hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear. She licked her thumb and wiped a streak of dirt off Ria’s cheek and dusted her elbows, cluck-clucking the entire time. “You went running again? What’s wrong with you, child? You’re on vacation. Can’t you just stay home and relax?”
“It’s all that food you’ve been feeding her, Aie,” Nikhil said, easing Ria’s pant over her knee. “She’s going to kill herself working it off.”
“Shut up.” Ria winced as he straightened her leg.
Nikhil made a tsking sound. “That doesn’t look too good.” Her knee was bruised, the skin an angry red with a few dots of blood.
Uma glared at Nikhil as if they were ten and he had pushed her and made her fall. Vikram walked back into the room with a bag of ice and handed it to Uma. Her face softened. She looked at Vikram as though he had just descended from heaven on angel wings. “Thanks,
beta.
Thank God you found her. Were you out running as well? What happened?”
“Ouch!” Ria shrieked. “Will you stop doing that, Nikhil?” Although poor Nikhil had been doing nothing more than examining her.
“I’m sorry.” Nikhil pressed the ice into her knee. It was only a little swollen, but it throbbed as if it had a life of its own.
Nikhil removed the ice and inspected it again. “I don’t think anything’s broken, but we should get an X-ray to make sure. Dad, what do you think?”
“It’s not broken, Nikhil. I really don’t want to go the hospital. Please,” Ria said. She knew broken bones and this wasn’t how it felt.
Vijay squatted down next to her and examined her, nudging and moving her leg so gently she hardly noticed. When he was done, he patted her cheek. “I agree. I don’t think it’s broken either. We can wait until tomorrow. My guess is some analgesic, lots of ice, and lots of rest, and she’ll be ready to dance at the wedding. That okay with you, Uma?”
Uma stopped in the middle of pacing the room. Instead of answering she turned to Ria. “I’ve been up for three hours now and you’ve been gone the entire time.” The horror on Uma’s face made Ria want to kick herself. “Please tell me you haven’t been running that long.”
Vikram’s head snapped up and his eyes met Ria’s. Her cheeks flared with embarrassment. It had been an incredibly stupid thing to do. But she hadn’t meant to run that long. She just hadn’t been able to stop. Vikram’s jaw clenched, anger suffused his face again.
“Uma Atya
,
I’m fine. Seriously. You heard Nikhil and Vijay Kaka. It’s just a scraped knee. It’s feeling better already. Really.”
Vikram took a step back, moving away from her, away from all of them. “I have to go.” He tapped his watch. “You got this, Nic?”
Nikhil nodded. “We’re going to knock her out and keep her in bed for the rest of her trip. She’ll be fine.”
Vikram smiled a distracted smile that didn’t make it anywhere near his eyes. He looked so restless and eager to get away he might as well already be gone. “Go,” she wanted to tell him before they lost whatever peace they had garnered by the river. Within minutes he was gone, his hands filled with long, rolled-up tubes of paper.
Ria watched his retreating back, and exhaustion and pain descended on her with such violence, it stole the air from her lungs and the strength from her limbs. She couldn’t even pretend to keep up with Uma’s worried inquisition and closed her eyes, unable to hold her lids open anymore.
Uma let up and shifted her energy to making her comfortable. Before she knew it, Ria was fed, medicated, and led up to her room, where she changed and sank gratefully into bed. Uma tucked her in and the last thing Ria remembered was Uma’s soft hand stroking her forehead before darkness closed around her and at long last sleep claimed her.
Ria had no idea how long she slept. It felt like days, like months. She slept like a hibernating animal who slept and slept until the world was ready for it again, until life seeped back into her limbs. Loving hands checked up on her in her dreams, touched her cheeks, her forehead, spoke caring words, propped her up, and gave her pills. Healed her.
When her mind started to form thoughts again, she tried desperately to quiet it, to burrow under her comforter and steal a little more peace. But once the thoughts found a crack there was no pushing them away. They seeped into her brain like molten lava and pushed out the numbness of sleep. She opened her eyes. Even lifting her heavy eyelids felt like an effort. At first only fuzzy images appeared around her. A tall form slumped in the chair next to her. Her heart stuttered and her eyes flew open.
He straightened. “Hey, starlet. You done with your beauty sleep?”
She smiled. She could never be disappointed to hear that voice.
“How long have I been out?” She sounded scratchy and parched.
Nikhil helped her up and handed her a glass of water. “Long enough. How are you feeling?”
She sat up and stretched her neck, twisted her body against the headboard. Nothing hurt. “Amazing,” she said truthfully.
“How about your knee?”
She bent her leg, expecting pain, but felt no more than a pinch. “Nothing. It feels fine.”
She let Nikhil look at it. He poked and prodded, and made her push into his hand with her toes just the way Vikram had done by the river. But she felt nothing more than a little soreness. Her heart mimicked her leg—calm and rested and only the slightest bit sore. “Seriously, I feel really good. What did you guys give me?”
Nikhil laughed. “Trade secret. If I told you I’d have to kill you.”
“Yesterday I might have taken you up on that.” Ria smiled. “Can you at least set me up with more?”
“Sure. I’ll hook you up with my dealer. You think you can get out of bed now? Aie’s ready to cancel the wedding.”
Ria sprang upright. “Seriously?”
“She’s pretty close. Honestly, I think she’s a little scared of Jen, otherwise she’d have done it already.”
“Jen is a bit scary,” Ria said, smiling at Jen as she entered the room.
“Only a bit?” Jen asked, sounding offended. She handed Ria a tray of steaming peppery
rasam
soup. Something suspiciously close to hunger gnawed at Ria’s insides. Ria didn’t remember the last time she had felt hunger. Really, what had they given her? She gulped down the soup while Nikhil teased her about it. “Really, starlet, it’s not that hard,” he said. “You eat, you sleep, and you don’t exhaust yourself until your body goes into shock. Can we try that please?”
Ria glared at him, but couldn’t stop eating.
Jen punched Nikhil’s shoulder and settled on the arm of his chair.
“You’re right, she is a bit scary.” Nikhil rubbed his shoulder where Jen had hit him and gave her one of his caressing glances, obviously done with his little reprimand.
Not that Ria didn’t agree with him. She had behaved horribly irresponsibly and she should have known better.
“You look terrified,” she said, and spooned the last bits of the red lentils into her mouth. “But damn, she makes a great soup! Where did you learn this, Jen? It’s delicious.”
Jen beamed. “Aie walked me through it. She has to be the most patient woman on the planet and definitely the best cook ever.”
Jen had never met her birth mother. She’d lost her adopted mother at five, after which her adopted father hadn’t done much more than drink himself to death and leave her to spend her adolescence in foster homes. Uma and Vijay had taken her into their hearts with the same unconditional love they showered on all the children who came into their sphere. Jen’s connection with Uma gave Ria a special kinship with her. It was like they were sisters, lost ducklings taken under a common wing.
“How do you feel?” Jen took the empty bowl from Ria and touched Ria’s cheek with the back of her hand. “No fever.”
“I had a fever?”
“Low grade. It was basically exhaustion. Your body needed rest. Lots of it.” Jen mirrored Uma’s admonishing look perfectly, reminding Ria of how idiotically she had behaved. Instead of helping with the wedding, she had put the family through all this worry.
She swallowed. “I’m sorry.” From now on this trip was going to be about the wedding.
This should be about Nikhil. Not about us.
Us.
She refused to think about how Vikram’s voice had melted around the word.
“I’m just glad you’re feeling better.” Jen smiled at Ria, but she threw Nikhil a worried glance.
“What was that look for? Bad diagnosis? Is it fatal?”
“No, drama queen, you’re fine. And it’s ‘prognosis.’ But Aie’s gone nuts on us. She wants us to cancel the bachelor and bachelorette parties and those aren’t until Friday. She’s already cancelled the dinner at Anu Auntie’s house tonight. The Auntie Brigade is hopping mad they haven’t got to spend time with you yet.”
Ria frowned fiercely at Nikhil. “I’m dying to see the aunties too. Uma Atya can’t cancel. I’m perfectly fine.” She pushed the sheets away and swung her legs off the bed.
“Well, Aie already bit Dad’s head off for suggesting you were fine. So I’m not going to be the bearer of that piece of good news.”
“I’m marrying a wimp.” Jen pushed off the chair.
“Why don’t you tell her, warrior princess?” Nikhil goaded.
Jen took a deep dramatic breath and went off to do it, dropping a kiss on Ria’s head before leaving.
“I just love Jen,” Ria said as soon as Jen left.
“Yeah, me too.” Nikhil looked dreamily at the door.
Ria reached out and ruffled his hair. “You lucked out, baby. She’s perfect for you.”
Nikhil didn’t respond. No smart-aleck comeback. He turned to her, his face suddenly serious. If he gave her one of those trite lines about there being someone out there for her, she was going to scream. She felt better than she had in days, but hearing Nikhil spew that rubbish would make her sick.
He didn’t.
“Ria, what happened yesterday?” he asked instead, his tone so uncharacteristically accusatory her defenses shot right up.
“My family drugged me and knocked me out because I was an idiot and almost killed myself running.”
His frown deepened. “What was Vic doing out there with you?”
Nikhil was bringing Vikram up? Ria couldn’t believe it. It had been the unwritten rule between them for the past ten years to never mention Vikram. Nikhil was the only one in the family who had known about Vikram and her, and he had kept their secret well. He had never asked any questions and she had never shared the sordid details of the breakup. She certainly was in no mood to change that now. But he sat there, his eyes boring into her for a response.
“Nothing. We were just talking. Trying to make up for making fools of ourselves the day before.”
Apparently it was not the answer he was looking for. He continued to stare at her as if he would explode if he didn’t say what was on his mind.
“Spit it out, Nikhil. What’s bothering you?”
He took a deep breath and did just that. “I think you should stay away from Vic.”
“Excuse me?” Her fingers tightened around the comforter.
He had the gall to look sympathetic. “Listen, Ria, there’s a lot you don’t know. He just met Mira and he seems happy. I haven’t seen him like this in a long time. But ever since you’ve come back . . . Just don’t start anything, okay?”
Now Nikhil was protecting Vikram from her? Despair fisted around her heart. Anger rose inside her so fast and furious she wanted to shake Nikhil. Her first instinct was to suppress it and walk away. Instead she met his eyes and didn’t bother to hide her disappointment or her rage. He flinched.
“Didn’t you hear me the other night?” she said. “I’m not interested in a relationship. Not with anyone. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get up and get dressed. I’m sure I look far too bedraggled for a man-eating vamp.” She threw off the covers and pushed herself off the bed. Her knee gave only the slightest tug. Right about now she would’ve welcomed a nice, mind-numbing jolt of pain.
“Ria, don’t be like this. He’s just—”
“I don’t want to talk about him, Nikhil. It might make me start something you don’t want.” And with that she headed for the shower feeling dirtier than she had in a very long time.