Authors: Amelia Grace
But I c
ould hear. I think. Or was I dreaming?
Judging by the sound of the beeping, the smell of disinfectant, and the background quietness, I
was in hospital. It had to be hospital.
Heaven would be
entirely different to what I hear and smell now. Heaven would be pure happiness, pure peacefulness, pure love, freedom from the bondage and restrictions of the human body.
Yes. I
was in hospital. I survived. I gained my life.
But what have I lost?
Voices. They are here. More than one.
I
can hear Georgia’s voice. She is here. And somebody else.
A man. He sounds vaguely familiar. But I can’t put a name to him yet.
‘How is Cohen progressing?’ she asks.
‘Well. We are reducing his medication to bring him out of the coma. It shouldn’t be long now until we can assess neurological damage. His surgery wound has healed well. He has one last obstacle to overcome……Georgia, I missed you last night,’ he said to
my
Georgia.
What? Who are you doctor? And why are you speaking to Georgia like that?
‘Mmmmm. I needed time to myself, to think, you know…..’ she replied to him.
Then nothing. Uninvited sleep had
stolen my consciousness again…….
Warm skin touched mine. I hoped it was Georgia’s hand. The fingers made circles around my knuckles, tickling me. Then the fingers traced down each of my fingers the whole length to the tip of my fingernail. Only Georgia had ever touched me like this. It felt so good.
‘Georgia…..you haven’t answered my question,’ the male voice said.
So it was Georgia touching me. I smiled inside my mind.
My Georgia. I love you.
‘Georgia……. marry me. I love you,’ the voice was broken, pained, pleading.
My body shuddered, and I sucked in a huge breath. The machine alarms sounded, and the room became busy with medical staff rushing around me.
Then I opened my eyes. The ceiling was white. The light was bright and my eyes pained. I closed them again and the sting lessened. Then I opened them again, with less haste this time.
Faces hovered over me. Stethoscopes attached themselves to my chest. Hands touched my wrist.
‘Mr Darcy, squeeze my hand, wriggle your feet, blink,’ commanded a gentle female voice.
‘Welcome back,’ she said, her voice smiling. I looked at her and smiled back. It wasn’t Georgia. I did not know of this person.
The medical staff stood around me,
crowding me, their serious faces focused on me, worrying me.
‘Georgia….’ I whispered, “Georgia.’
Then she appeared in front of the doctors. Her face shined inside of me. Her eyes strengthened my life force. She placed her hand onto my shoulder.
‘Cohen,’ she whispered, and a tear rolled down her cheek. I lifted my
heavy hand and brushed her tear away, as a tear fell from my eye. Then my hand dropped back to the bed. I had used up all of my energy.
I started to shake my head at her.
‘Don’t marry him, please don’t marry him,’ I said weakly.
She smiled, and kissed me lightly on my lips.
‘So that’s why you woke up Mr Darcy!’ she teased. I smiled weakly at her.
‘Only the medical staff on Cohen’s care are to stay. Would others please leave the room so that we can complete observations on our patient, thank-you,’ a deep voiced commanded.
Only three white coats remained in the room with me. We played a game of twenty questions, twenty requests of movement, twenty neurological checks.
I became exhausted and
receded into the peacefulness of sleep again.
Exhaustion wasn’t my friend. I wanted to be awake. I needed to talk to Georgia before it was too late. Before I lost her to another man. But I couldn’t fight the sleep. It was too powerful for me. I could do nothing but surrender to it. In time I would wake again. At least I had spoken to her. At the very least……
sleep to heal……
The voices woke me again. Georgia’s and irritating male.
I could smell her perfume.
I forced my eyelids open and looked straight at her. She wasn’t far from me.
She
tilted her head on the side as she looked at me, but didn’t speak at first. She looked happy. Peaceful. And it worried me.
‘You look worried Cohen. Are you okay?’ she asked, touching my hand.
‘Physically yes. Mentally yes. Emotionally – you tell me,’ I answered. She looked at me and then at him. I still couldn’t see him. Georgia was blocking my view of him.
‘Cohen…..I want you to meet
….. Ethan,’ Georgia said nervously. Did this mean that she was going to marry him? My heart started to accelerate.
And
then I saw him.
He was me. I was him. He was an exact copy of me, except for the style of his hair.
No wonder his voice seemed familiar to me. It was in fact my voice coming from his body.
‘
Hello Cohen,’ he said simply. I frowned at him, shocked. Two of me? I didn’t know what to think. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I found it hard to breathe.
‘How…’ I managed to splutter whilst shaking my head.
‘Remember the book Cohen. Ethan from the book….’ Georgia said, trying to jolt my memory.
‘No…..no,’ I said,
shaking my head, my voice quaking. I squeezed my eyes shut. I wanted him gone. This was a living nightmare. Beads of sweat broke out on my forehead.
‘I’m sorry Cohen. I will leave the room. I’m sorry,’ Ethan spoke quietly
. He looked to the floor, disappointment on his face, and left the room in silence.
I put my hands up to my head and then cried, heavy sobs escaping from my chest. Georgia put her
head onto my chest and wrapped her arms around me.
‘You can’t marry him Georgia. Please don’t marry him,’ I blurted out in between my chest heaving gulps of air and my outpouring of grief.
‘I said no Cohen. I am not going to marry him,’ she said quietly.
‘Good,’ I replied, feeling my body relax, and a burde
n lifted from my shoulders.
‘You need to talk to him. Technically he is your brother,’ Georgia said.
‘He is my clone Georgia. He is more than my brother. He is me,’ I replied angrily.
‘No. You are wrong. Yes, same physical body, same DNA, but a different mind, a different personality, a different soul. He is more like an identical twin brother,’ she elaborated with presence of mind, expression of thought and the voice of her heart of compassion.
I looked at her, contemplating her words. Could she be right? As scary as it seems that there are two of me, he is in fact a different person entirely, we share nothing but identical DNA.
‘Georgia, when I regain my physical strength
I ….,’ I said, but could not finish the sentence as the colour drained from my face.
‘You should Cohen. He was the doctor at the Ceremony
who saved your life. The least that you could do is to thank him,’ she suggested.
I placed my hands on top of my head, and looked up at the ceiling and closed my eyes. It was a lot to take in.
It was like the three rings on the leather cover of the bloody book, three interconnecting rings. Was that representational of Ethan, Georgia and me?
Bloody book!
I looked back at Georgia, and then took her hand in mine and pulled it over my heart.
‘Thank-you Georgia…..for
staying by my side through my recovery. Thank-you,’ I said. I could feel my heart breaking. Our connection felt broken in some way. Love didn’t do this did it?
‘I need to be alone now……if you don’t mind,’ I said, my voice uneven.
Georgia leaned into me and kissed my lips, and then my forehead. She looked into my eyes and nodded. Then she turned and left my hospital room in silence, without looking back at me.
My entire life was in a spin. An out of control spiral dive into darkness.
Chapter 24
Springtime is glorious. The warm sun. The flowers. The new life. New beginnings.
Even the old oak tree that I sat under smelled of freshness, holidays and childhood memories.
I was meeting Georgia here today, three months after we parted in the hospital room.
The hem of her dress blew around in the
gentle breeze as she walked towards me. Her hair was the same wavy wild brown that I loved and remembered. Her smile melted my heart as it always did. Her sweet perfume accelerated my heartbeat. I still loved her, of that there was no doubt.
And it still hurt.
I stood as she got closer. She jumped and ran to me and fell into my arms, hugging me warmly.
‘Cohen….,’ she whispered into my ear.
I found her hand.
‘You look beautiful as always Georgia,’ I commented as we both sat at the base of the wise old oak tree.
‘How have you been Mr Darcy?’ she asked, tracing her fingers over my hand.
I took a deep breath.
‘Pretty bloody awesome actually Georgia. And you?’ I asked.
She looked out over the pond thriving with new life, then back to me.
‘I have kept myself busy while waiting to hear from you Cohen,’ she responded sullenly.
‘Oh?’ I remarked, surprised by her comment.
‘I never thanked you for saving my life Cohen. Thank-you,’ she said looking into my eyes.
‘Twice I told you that I would take a bullet for you to save your life. I would do it again if I had to,’ I explained to her.
Georgia rested her head against the trunk of the oak tree and closed her eyes, tears rolling down her face.
‘I didn’t mean to make you cry Georgia. Please forgive me,’ I said in a low voice, and then I pulled out a gingerbread woman
from a brown paper bag for her, found her hand and placed it in her palm. She opened her sad eyes and looked at the gingerbread, shook her head and smiled.
We sat in silence. My heart was still hurting.
‘You know that meeting Ethan changes everything don’t you,’ I said eventually.
‘That it has Cohen, and I live with my mistake every moment of every day,’ Georgia said, her voice even.
‘It was not a mistake Georgia. It was meant to be,’ I said.
‘Perhaps, but I could have changed the outcome of our relationship
if you had not met him,’ she said, her voice laced with regret.
‘Georgia, d
id you know that I was connected to Ethan the very first time that we met when I returned the book to you?’
She nodded her head slowly, looking into the distance.
‘At first I couldn’t believe my eyes. I looked for differences in your physical appearance but there was none. I wanted to know how you were different. I even pulled a hair from your head that first time that I hugged you. I kept it to see if your DNA matched,’
‘
And is that why you continued to see me, and to read to me. To see how we were similar and different? Was it all for Ethan?’ I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
‘I was absolutely intrigued when we first met Cohen. But then your differences were obvious. You were not alike at all. They more time that I spent with you, the more time that I wanted. I became high
ly attracted to you,’ she explained.
‘
So, with your knowledge of the book, did you know that we would meet like this. Did you bring us together? Was it all planned? Was I used?’ I asked, my voice wavering.
‘I never planned it Cohen. I never used you. I would never do that to anyone. I was like you. I could not read the book until after the events had happened. The pages were blank, perplexing. I had no idea that you would be the person who would deliver the lost book back to me
, And then there is the complication of Ethan. He wasn’t meant to fall in love with me,’ Georgia said angrily, looking deeply into my eyes, hurt showing on her face.
I had to look away from her. I was growing more confused by the minute.
‘Two of me. Which one wins, and which one loses? Where does it leave me?’ raw sarcastic emotion flowing in my voice. ‘I fell in love with you Georgia. I have never felt this way about a girl before, ever. I thought you were my soul mate, my happily ever after. But now…….I don’t know anything. I don’t know where I stand with you. I don’t know, I don’t know…..anything but the pain in my chest. The hurting of my heart. The doubt about reasons why our paths crossed. Why it was allowed to happen?’ I stopped talking for a bit, and breathed out heavily.
‘
I have to walk away from you. I need time to digest it all. I need time to think. I need time……’ I added, my voice low, pained.