The Book of Joby (86 page)

“Patient ’til
when
?” Joby complained.

Ander looked pensively out to sea again. “The falls up Burl Creek Canyon; be there at sunset. Don’t forget a flashlight. It’ll be a dark walk back. Whatever answers I can give, I’ll give you then.” He looked up toward town and sighed, “The punch card calls.” He splashed onto the beach and started heading toward the stairs.

“Ander!” Joby called.

“What?”

“What was the fish for?”

“Breakfast,” Ander said over his shoulder and shrugged. “The hotel food’s not so great.”

He went on then, leaving Joby to wonder if he’d planned to cook it on the beach, or . . . whether he was into sushi.

“
Look
at the
mess
!” Agnes shrieked. “
Look there!
They’ve
broken
my
window
! This is
exactly
what I
knew
would happen! I
begged
their parents to
prevent
this, but did anybody
listen
?
NO!
”

Karl certainly shared her outrage at this latest teenage crime spree, but her hysteria was beginning to grate a little. “I’m very glad you called me, Agnes, but—”

“I wanted you to
see
this, Karl! I wanted
somebody
who’s not a complete
idiot
to
see
what they’ve
done
to my
house
! It’ll take all
day
to clean this up!
All week!
”

“It’s atrocious, Agnes,” Karl commiserated. “Absolutely inexcusable. But they’re only digging their own graves, you know. I’m coming back here with a camera, and we’ll have pictures printed in the paper. Front page. That’ll garner even more support for getting some police protection here in town. You may not want to hear it, Agnes, but they’ve done you quite a favor here.”

“I don’t just want
police
here now!” she wailed. “
I want a jail!
That’s where these little
criminals belong
! I’m going to make sure you can’t buy an egg in this
whole town
without
ID
!”

“Calm down, Agnes,” Karl said. “We’re going to make them pay for this, but you’ve got to take the high ground. Show ’em we still have our dignity. Revenge is best served cold, you know.”

“Oooooh!” she blustered, struggling to master her frustration. “I’ll have to get a bigger freezer then.”

“That’s the spirit,” Karl said supportively. “Hit ’em with your sense of humor, Agnes. Show ’em they aren’t getting to you.”

“
Ben!
Ben, wake up!”

“Joby? What—Oh shit.” Ben clutched his head, and grimaced. “My mouth is full of sand. Where are we?”

“Ben, I just saw something. You’re never going to believe me, but I swear—”

“Keep it down, will ya?” Ben complained. “God, I’m totaled. Why’d you let me drink so much?”

“Me!”
Joby objected loudly, wincing at the gong this revived in his own brain.

“I’m joking,” Ben growled. “Guess we overdid it, huh?”

“Ben, shut up and listen to me. I just saw Ander turn into a seal. I mean, the seal turned into Ander. And it’s not just him. Swami talks to animals. He did it right in front of me. How do you explain that? No one will answer any of my questions, but something unbelievable is happening here! Everywhere!”

For a moment Ben just stared at Joby, then, though it really hurt his head, he couldn’t keep from cracking up. “God, Joby! I knew you didn’t drink much, but what a neophyte! You must have the mother of all hangovers in history!” He lay back down on the sand, struggling not to laugh himself sick, literally.

“Goddamn it! I’m serious, Ben! I’m telling you the truth!”

This just made Ben laugh harder—an increasingly risky activity, given the condition of his stomach. He had no desire to embarrass Joby, but he couldn’t help it. The look on Joby’s face was so hilariously tragic.

“Fine! Laugh!” Joby said, kicking sand at Ben, which helped him stop laughing as it got into his eyes and mouth again. “Keep right on laughing when I’m dead tomorrow!”

“Quit it with the sand!” Ben griped. “What’s with all the being dead crap? If this is about Laura—”

“It’s got nothing to do with that,” Joby said, exasperated. “There are other things happening in the world besides you and me and Laura!”

That got Ben’s attention. “Since when?” he said, taking a second look at Joby’s expression and feeling suddenly more sober.

“Since about ten minutes ago,” Joby told him, looking as sober as a school-teacher, which, of course, he was.

“Okay,” Ben sighed. “So what happened again?”

“Look, Ben. I know how crazy this sounds, but if you won’t trust me, who’s going to? I really need you to believe what I’m telling you, okay?”

Ben took a deep breath, trying to suppress all the nasty sensations sloshing
through his insides as he sat up again. “Tell it to me a little more coherently,” he said.

“I was just sitting out there on the rocks, watching a seal hunt the swell for fish,” Joby said gravely. “But when it swam to shore and came out of the water, it wasn’t a seal anymore. It was this kid I know in town named Ander. He was still holding the fish.”

Ben just stared at Joby, no longer laughing. Last night had been hard on both of them. Now Ben wondered if he’d grossly underestimated
how
hard it had been on Joby. “He was wearing a wetsuit, I assume?” Ben asked.

“Of course,” Joby said. “He’d freeze out there without it.”

“He got dark hair?” Ben asked.

“Yeah. You’ve met him?” Joby said, surprised.

“No,” Ben said. “I’m just imagining the kind of guy who’d look like a seal until he came out of the water.”

“You think I didn’t think of that?” Joby asked crossly. “It was a seal’s head I saw out there, Ben. There’s no fur on Ander’s face, and his nose is nowhere near that big. Besides, he stayed under water for five minutes at a time, and swam faster than a Jet Ski.”

“The kid’s spent all his life in the surf.” Ben shrugged. “He’s a great swimmer with impressive breath control.”

“I mean
literally
faster than a Jet Ski, Ben. Under water.” Joby rolled his eyes. “Listen, I’d be telling myself everything you’re saying, because
I
know it’s impossible as well as you do, except for one thing. When I confronted him about it, he told me to tell no one, then told me to hike up to the Burl Creek falls at sunset tonight, where he’s promised to give me some answers.” Joby leaned back and spread his hands. “Explain that.”

“Why not just tell you now?” Ben said, perplexed.

“Good question,” Joby said pointedly.

“He said not to tell anyone? That’s . . . pretty weird.”

“He said they’d only think I was crazy,” Joby said, folding his arms and looking accusingly at Ben. “I told you anyway, because I
trusted
you.” Joby’s smug expression faltered. “And because I have no idea why I’m supposed to go all the way up there at night to get the answers. I thought that someone I could trust should know where to go looking for my body if I don’t come back.”

“Hold on, pal!” Ben protested. “You don’t really think you’re goin’ up there without me, do you?”

“So you believe me now?” Joby said, hopeful.

“I don’t believe some guy really turned into a seal,” Ben snorted. “But I do believe you’ve stumbled into some kind of very weird shit, and, frankly, I think you’re an idiot for going up there at all.”

“I
need
some answers, Ben,” Joby said earnestly. “If I don’t go up there, I may never get them. Like I said, this isn’t the first weird thing I’ve seen here, and . . .” He looked distressed again. “These people are my friends, Ben.”

“You
think,
” Ben interjected.

“These are my students and my neighbors,” Joby insisted. “I’ve seen them every day for three years, and they’ve treated me better than anyone I’ve ever known except for you and Laura. I can’t believe they’d hurt me, but I do have to know who, or what, they really are. I can’t just go on here pretending not to care. Not now.”

“Yeah, well, like I said,” Ben pressed, “I think you’re an idiot, but idiots like company, and if you think I’m gonna sit here on my hands tonight waiting for the news at eleven, you really
are
crazy. What good are answers if you’re dead?” Ben grinned wickedly. “Or beamed up for a rectal probe on Pluto? This could be dangerous, dude!”

“But, if you come with me,” Joby pressed, “how will anyone know what happened if neither of us comes back?”

“We’ll leave a note, bright boy. That’ll do at least as much good as I’d have done you here.” He felt a winsome smile spreading on his face. “Just like old times, eh, Joby? Two knights off to combat supernatural evil?” It made him almost giddy with delight. “Only this time, it’s
real
! How cool is
that
?”

When Ferristaff answered his front door to find Agnes Hamilton on the porch, he barely managed to suppress a groan. Had he not been subjected to enough harassment? Sadly, as she was the single largest owner of commercial properties in Taubolt, and its single biggest pain in the ass as well, he felt compelled to be courteous. The last thing he needed was to end up on
her
wrong side too.

“Hello, Robert,” she said, offering him her signature grimace of a smile.

“Hello, Agnes,” he replied. “To what do I owe this unexpected honor?”

“You’re too kind,” she said. “I just came by to offer my condolences.”

“Regarding?” he asked, concerned that some new disaster had occurred of which he hadn’t been informed yet.

“That poor young man who was crippled by the tree spike,” Agnes said.

Thank God,
he thought.
Old news.
“Well that’s very kind of you,” he said aloud.

“Actually, I’d like to donate some money to his family,” she said. “Just to help them through until they get back on their legs.”

What a tasteless choice of words,
he thought, trying not to smile.

“I wasn’t sure where to send it,” she explained, “and thought it might be easiest just to give it to you personally. May I come in?”

The urge to smile left him, but he could hardly say,
I’ll just take the check, good-bye.
“Yes! Please do,” he said aloud.

“Thank you, Robert,” she said, brushing past him. “My, what a lovely house you’ve built! I adore the look of finished wood.”