Paul reached to his neck and drew out a thin chain and the tiny key.
“This is your inheritance too. All of it.” He made a sweeping gesture from the Book to a wall behind us. I barely noticed it when we walked in. It was a floor-to-ceiling bookcase. The higher the shelves, the more ancient the bindings looked. On the top shelf were scrolls. This room wasn’t merely a chapel, like its horrifying counterpart. It was a library.
“Where did you get all these?”
“Here and there, over the years. It would be more accurate to call me a conservator than a collector. We possess much more than you see here. We will never again risk the dangers of consolidation and wholesale destruction as in the Egyptian cataclysm.”
“Are you talking about the Library of Alexandria?”
“Yes, and the Temple of Serapis, also known as the Serapeum. Many of the most important texts were housed there, including the works of Apollonius. After the emperor Theodosius outlawed paganism, Pope Theophilus began destroying all the pagan temples in Alexandria as well as the Great Library. We cleared out the Serapeum first, while the pagan revolt was being crushed. Then under cover of the fire we set, the Library was rescued.”
“Are you actually claiming that our ancestors burned and looted the Library of Alexandria?”
“
Rescued,
not looted. You’re a funny duck, Billy. You look at me like what I’m saying is the most preposterous statement you’ve ever heard, yet you’re gawkin’ at an entire wall of ancient scrolls and manuscripts. Where do you think they all came from? A Sotheby’s auction?”
I just stood there, unable to speak. He shook his head and marched up to the bookcase, dragging me by my wrist. He pulled out a slim volume and told me to open it. It was the
Gospel of Mary
. The complete
Gospel of Mary
. “Hhmmph!” he snorted at my dazed expression. “That couldn’t be an authentic codex, could it? No, that’s impossible! There isn’t a single complete copy of the
Gospel of Mary
to be found anywhere in the world! Oh, my, but what do we have right here next to it? Well, I guess you can keep that one, Billy, because I have
five
more copies…in this bookcase alone! Where could they all have come from?”
“I’m sorry…but this is so…incredible,” I muttered.
“So are the contents. You read Coptic, correct?” he asked, pointing to the book.
“Right,” I replied. The missing pages. Now I know why they cut them out. The story begins with Jesus being resurrected in the tomb.
Being
resurrected. Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene told the other apostles to seal them in the tomb with the body of Christ, “For they knew in Faith (
Pistis
) and Wisdom (
Sophia
) that he would soon return.”
Suddenly a great light fills the cave, the stone rolls away, an angel appears, and bada-bing,bada-boom, Jesus is back! After many hugs and high-fives, they all go to visit his disciples, who are hiding out from the Romans in the home of…Apollonius. He apologizes for unmentioned “transgressions.” Christ forgives him, kisses him, calls him his brother, then he begins his sermon, telling everyone of his journey to the divine realm and back.
“Apollonius? What’s he apologizing for?”
“He made a mistake.…well, a few of them,” Paul said, turning to face the angel. “First and worst, he fell in love. Love is always tragic, but in this case, as with your current malady, it was disastrous.
“She was…as he was…in the beginning. His mate in more than name. She bore them twins, male and female. The angel appeared at their birth and revealed that the time of the prophecy was at hand. The babes had been chosen.
They
had been chosen—not the elders. Needless to say he was…devastated. Even so, he had sworn to fulfill the will of the
Nous
. She told him how they could transmit the
Intelligence
directly to their children without sacrificing their own lives—the path her line had always followed. She said it was the only way to ensure complete
knowing
. ‘Our memory and all that has come before is in their blood. They only need to awaken.’
“He
saw
the truth in her words, but he had taken the old path for so long,
Turning
inside dedicated disciples, all more than willing to sacrifice their mortal flesh for the greater good. Now he was supposed to merely pass on his hard-won knowledge when the boy came of age—so
he
could be the Master?
“It was never his intention to consume the boy. He loved him dearly. He tried so hard, but his will to survive was so old, so hungry, it would not be denied. When they returned from the Maelstrom, his mate had passed the
Intelligence
to their daughter as intended. But he had taken the boy, as he had so many others. The women cursed him in his new young body. Abandoned him. And the
Nous
…the
Nous
sent Yeshua, to cleanse his sin and
set things right
. Wasn’t the loss of his family, wasn’t their scorn, their abandonment, punishment enough?
“Well, one of them had to go. You can’t steer a ship that big with two captains at the helm. When Yeshua and his disciples arrived in Jerusalem, Apollonius suggested preaching in a more hospitable environment. The Romans didn’t want any messiah. How could he know that the High Priest of the Sanhedrin was listening? He warned Yeshua they were coming. There was still enough time to escape. That would have been a win-win. But nooooo, Yeshua was convinced that
he
was the chosen one! Well, he was, but not the first. There’s such a thing as seniority. Still, he wouldn’t budge. ‘The
Nous
guides my destiny.’ Some destiny. Right up to the very last minute, he still couldn’t believe the cavalry wasn’t coming to pull him off that cross.
“Then Mary acted like I was to blame! ‘You haven’t won!’
Really?
Just look at him! Not that I said that to her. But she still kept digging away at me, ‘The world will hear his message! She will tell it!’
“Mary Junior.
Well, fuck me!
Just one look at the two of them together and I knew. Big Mary didn’t have one child…she had
two!
The new Matriarch! When Yeshua came back, he blessed
Sister
Mary
to carry the word. Well, the boys didn’t care for that, I can tell you. They toed the line for awhile, out of respect for Yeshua, but Peter…well let’s just say the Rock wanted to roll…right over Mary. He vowed revenge on Apollonius too. Four centuries later he delivered, through Patrick. But he who laughs last, laughs best, and before long we’ll be splitting our ribs. Which reminds me, I have another gift for you.”
He walked back into the sitting room. Following, I said, “You started talking about Apollonius in the third person and ended in the first.”
“And?” he replied, looking at me curiously.
“Are you saying what I think you are?”
“Billy, do you honestly need to ask that question?”
“I just want you to come out and say it.”
“He who has ears, let him hear,” Paul replied sternly. “I have been talking to you of nothing other than this subject since we first began our dialog. What more is there to say?”
“Well, you could say, ‘Apollonius, Pythagoras, Hermes Trismegistus were all previous incarnations of
me!
’ or, ‘I’ve passed on my soul from body to body for thousands of years and I’m about to do it again.’ And, ‘I personally knew Jesus fucking Christ and was sort of responsible for getting him crucified, but he forgave me after his resurrection!’”
“Very well phrased, Billy. But Yeshua said it best, when Pilate popped the question. ‘It is as you say.’ Short and sweet. Now are you ready to look at your present?”
I’d been agonizing about this for weeks. Squirming with doubt, scared to death it might really be true. I thought I would feel something akin to dazed astonishment if he finally came out and said it. But now that he had, with the casual indifference of an Olympic athlete displaying his medals for the umpteenth time, I felt like I’d been robbed of my big moment.
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” I grumbled, shaking my head in frustration.
He led me over to a huge armoire. “I think you’ll find this infinitely more useful and satisfying than that moldy old text,” he declared theatrically, opening the ornately engraved doors. I stood there speechless. It was filled with all this S&M gear: masks, ball gags, and very weird, very nasty torture tools. He grinned at my shocked expression and pointed to a bizarre metal contraption on the bottom shelf.
“What the hell is that?”
“An impaler,” he said proudly, “for your big date!”
“
An impaler?”
“It’s a real beauty, isn’t it? Think of it as a helping hand to see you through. The device is spring-loaded, triggered by off-balance movement. I’ll do the heavy lifting, get her settled down nice and cozy. All you have to do is give her a little tip and the machine will do the rest.
Ca-ching!
But don’t press the black button on the bottom. That’s the fail-safe locking mechanism, in case something goes wrong and we have to keep her on ice.”
“Oh, God…please, don’t make me do this.”
“
Make
you?” Paul snarled. “I should think you’d be chomping at the bit after all I’ve offered. Unlimited wealth and soon, unlimited power—what more could you possibly desire? I can’t believe I’m still encouraging you with the promise of rewards. We should be far past that stage by now. You should be killing her for the sheer pleasure of it. Trust me, I know you better than you know yourself. You’ll take to murder like a duck to water.”
“You’re wrong about me. I’m not who you think I am.”
“No, you’re wrong about you. You are part of us. We are the same.”
“I’m not anything like you!”
“Perhaps you’re right,” Paul said calmly. “Maybe you’re not a bit like me. Maybe I’m exactly like…
you!”
He let out a thunderous laugh that scared me even more than his bizarre declaration. When he settled down, he gazed into my frantic eyes and spoke in a soft, sinister voice.
“You think your achievements and transgressions are restricted to the choices you make in this lifetime, but you are wrong. I am everything and everyone that has come before me, as are you. Your blood carries the knowledge and memories of every preceding generation. The sins of the father are truly the sins of the son, passed down endlessly, regardless of the veil of forgetfulness that hides the truth from your awareness.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Exactly who do you think you are, William?”
I thought he meant I was out of line with my question. Then I realized he was literally questioning my sense of identity. I told him exactly who I thought I was. He laughed.
“You didn’t even know your own name until I told you! In your veins flows the blood of the most illustrious and accomplished forebears that have ever walked the face of this truly god-forsaken planet, yet you know nothing of your heritage other than what has been revealed to you by me. Yet, regardless of the near totality of your ignorance, your blood knows the truth. And your blood aches to awaken to your forgotten glory.”
I said nothing. He kept pushing.
“You did so well in the chapel. You saw the angel. You witnessed the power of the Book. It brought you back from the brink and took you to your true place of birth. Yet you still can’t remember
yourself
. But in spite of what you can or cannot grasp, there’s one thing you can sense right down to your very bones, of this much I am certain—that the only thing that matters in this or any universe is the Wheel and the power to control it. Not just enough for another
Turning
so we can buy enough time to dance this ballet all over again. The power to control it utterly, completely…and forever. This is our destiny and the only thing standing in the way is your foolish, futile resistance. We can do it this time! So play your part and kill that
bitch!
”
I opened my mouth to speak, but he pressed a blunt finger to my lips. “No. No more talking. You know what must be done, so do it.”
“I love her,” I pleaded.
“We always hurt the ones we love.”
“I don’t care if you send me to jail or do whatever you want. I…won’t…kill her.”
“Yes…you…will. And in the end it won’t be because of threats from me. You will kill her out of your own hatred and jealousy and greed…your lust for power and vengeance. You will kill her because you
always
kill her. That is your role, your destiny—your true
self.
“What if I kill you instead?” I seethed, thinking about Mother again.
“You’re welcome to try. You can make your bid as you have so many times, with and without the wizard’s aid. Loren doesn’t know the whole story, yet he plays his part, as do you. If he hasn’t already, the serpent will ask you to betray me. Maybe you will and maybe you won’t. The story changes with each telling, so there’s no way to know that yet. But in your quest to slay me, unlike your murder of the dear, sweet princess, you have always failed. That has never changed, not a single time. So stop whining about your petty emotions and save your energy for the work that still awaits us after the
Turning
, when we rebuild the Temple and forge the Great Wheel.”
“You’re actually going to make them…in our world?”
“We’re already well on our way.” He raised a finger and walked back in the library. He returned with his arms full of scrolls. They weren’t ancient. They were blueprints. He spread them across the table. “We have to clear the property first. There are some buildings cluttering up the landscape that need to be demolished. We’re going to need plenty of room.”
He wasn’t kidding. It was amazing. Truly majestic. A massive temple complex with an enormous tower. Exactly what I always imagined an insanely huge pagan temple would look like, maybe in Atlantis.
“It’s sure going to attract attention.”
“I certainly hope so,” he nodded proudly.
“Are you trying to start a Holy War or something?”