The Boy Who Knew Everything (3 page)

“Happy birthday to you!”

As the cake approached, a man began to materialize so that all could see that the cake was not floating but was being held in his hands. He was not a young man but somewhere in his middle years. Now that he was visible it was possible to see that he was wearing fatigue pants and a black T-shirt. He had the intense look of a harried soldier but for the moment a smile was on his lips.

“J.,” said Conrad, recognizing him; he was surprised but not happy. “I should have known.”

 

CHAPTER

3

“My moon and stars, what's going on here?” gasped Betty McCloud. She'd been feeding the chickens when she heard the commotion and arrived at the barn just as Conrad was blowing out the candles. Her startled eyes couldn't make sense of the gathered kids, a strange man holding a cake, and Joe with his face as white as a sheet.

“It's Conrad's birthday, Ma,” Piper chirped excitedly. “We're surprising him and I didn't want to tell you in case he found out.”

Birthdays were serious business for Betty. “Lands' sakes, child, your birthday? Why didn't you tell us?” She bustled about, giving kids hugs and reaching for Conrad. “I'd best get a birthday breakfast on for you youngens and we'll need ice cream to go with this cake.” She took the cake out of J.'s hands and headed for the house, gathering up the kids like a clucking mother hen corralling her unruly and overexcited chicks. Piper was in the middle of the clutch when she noticed that Conrad and J. were off by themselves talking quietly. The hard lines brewing around Conrad's mouth told Piper that they were not enjoying a joyous reunion.

“Who asked you to butt in?” Piper heard Conrad say in a low voice.

“I'm not butting in,” J. said defensively. “I'm just looking out for you and Piper. I check in from time to time to make sure that you're doing all right. That's it.”

Conrad turned to Piper, who was now nervously standing between them as though she was anticipating the need to break up a fight. “J.'s been visiting you? And you didn't tell me?”

Piper's cheeks flamed red. “J. came a few times. Maybe three or four,” she stammered.

J. had the ability to make himself invisible and was always off on some crusade or another. He had tried to rescue Piper when Letitia Hellion had first come to take her away and then again from the school. But despite his extraordinary ability, J. was no match for Dr. Hellion. Piper had a soft spot for J.'s frantic, intense ways and his clandestine comings and goings. Conrad, on the other hand, had no such soft feelings and regarded J. and his lone-wolf ways with suspicion at best and outright hostility at worst, which was why it wasn't exactly a priority for Piper to “mention” J.'s unexpected visits.

“I didn't think you'd be interested,” Piper said.

Conrad snorted at her lame excuse and turned back to J. “How did you know it was my birthday?”

J. threw his hands up. “It's not exactly top secret information.”

“And it's not exactly common knowledge, either. Are you spying on me?”

“I wouldn't say that.” J. chose his words carefully and spoke them slowly.

“Then what
would
you say?”

J. considered what to tell Conrad. J.'s life was about things that were hidden, and he traded on who knew what and when. He had been a small boy when he learned that he could make himself invisible, and on that first day of wondrous invisibility he had sat in the kitchen quietly watching his mother do the dishes. She was unaware that he was close by, and he marveled at the simple act of observing her unseen. All of a sudden for no reason that he could see she stopped doing the dishes and started to cry. It was a gut-wrenching cry that she managed to achieve without making any sound whatsoever, as though it was something she had long practiced. J. was shocked that his mother had such a deep sadness inside of her and had never guessed she was hiding it from him and the rest of his family. Less than a minute later his father and sister had returned home and his mother resumed washing the dishes as though nothing at all was the matter. J.'s mother was a revelation to him. She was keeping secrets from those she loved most, and it soon became clear to J. that everyone was keeping secrets. Most of the secrets were small, inconsequential things, but some of the secrets were big and important.

From that day forward J. watched from the shadows, collecting information and looking for hidden truths. The older he got, the more he watched and the deeper the truths he followed. Just recently he had realized that Piper and Conrad were connected in some way to a mystery, and he made it his mission to find out how and why.

With a deep sigh, J. decided to tell Conrad none of this and answered his angry question with a shrug.

“Spying is a strong word,” J. said.

“That's not an answer!” Conrad pressed.

“It was me,” Piper confessed quickly before things escalated further. “I was worried about you because of the election. All you do is work in your lab and listen to the election coverage, and I asked J. if he knew anything about it.”

“You?” Conrad was dismayed. “The election?”

A new president was about to be elected, and for the last year Senator Harrington had been mounting an impressive presidential bid. The closer the election came the more Conrad had watched and listened to the things his father did and said. Seeing the way Conrad watched his father had made Piper worried for some reason she couldn't exactly pinpoint.

“I saw the way you were looking at your father on the television and so I asked J. to find out about him.” Piper swallowed hard. “And I guess I thought that if he became president you'd want to go home, and I didn't want you to go.”

“You make no sense, Piper. This is my home now.”

“Really? You mean it?”

“Really. Unless, of course, you drive me crazy, which at this moment presents itself as a distinct possibility.”

Piper's relief turned into a smile and she slugged Conrad's shoulder good-naturedly. “C'mon, who doesn't like a birthday party? It's fun!”

“If you say so.” Conrad allowed himself a half-smile.

As the tension dispersed J. pulled a file from his backpack. “This is for you.” He offered Conrad the file.

Conrad made no move to take it. “What is it?”

“Consider it a birthday gift. It's the information Piper asked me to get on your father. You need to read it.” J. stood with the file outstretched.

“No, thanks.”

“Your father is not who he says he is,” J. said quietly, as though he might be overheard.

“My father's secrets don't concern me anymore.”

“If you say so.” J.'s tone plainly communicated the opposite message.

“But Conrad,” Piper pleaded, taking the file out of J.'s hand and offering it to him, “take it. It might be important.”

“Do you even know his name?” Conrad pointed at J.

Piper shrugged. “His name is J.”

“J. is not a name; ‘J' is a
letter
.” Conrad spoke to Piper but glared at J. “And we know nothing about him or where he's from or what he does or knows. Because he won't tell us. How do we know he's not hiding something from us?”

“Because … because,” Piper stuttered, “because he's J.”

“That's not good enough for me,” Conrad snapped. “And this is my birthday party and I'm supposed to be eating cake and acting happy. So if you'll excuse me—” Conrad turned on his heel and marched out of the barn, leaving J. and Piper in the wake of the awkwardness of the exchange.

“I guess he doesn't like surprises,” Piper offered, her cheeks pink. “I'll give this to him later.” She tucked the file beneath her arm. “I know he'll appreciate it when he's not so … well, so Conrad.”

J. sighed and gathered his things, hoisting his backpack over his shoulders. “You can lead a horse to water—”

“—but you can't make it drink,” Piper finished.

J. headed for the door, Piper hot on his heels.

“You're leaving? Already? Can't you stay longer?” Piper pressed him. “Don't you want cake?”

“There are urgent matters.” J. strode purposefully into the farmyard. “I have a source and this time I think I'm getting close.”

“You mean to finding out about that secret place where everyone is like us?” Piper asked excitedly and perhaps too loudly.

“Shhhhh.”

“Sorry.” J. had been telling her for months that he was hot on the trail of information that was leading him to a hidden community of people who were all exceptional. It was thrilling to think about.

“Will you tell me when you know?” Piper whispered.

J. was already turning himself invisible, but Piper was able to see him tip his head. “You'll be hearing from me soon.”

 

CHAPTER

4

Conrad's birthday breakfast was a higgledy-piggledy affair. With eleven youngens packed around the McClouds' breakfast table telling jokes and jostling elbows for greater room while reaching over one another to get at the hot blueberry muffins, crisp bacon, cheesy omelets, hotcakes, and waffles it was a mercy no one was maimed, or worse. At one point little Jasper, who normally didn't make a peep, laughed so hard at a joke of Smitty's (“What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when he hits a windshield? His butt!”) that he went red in the face, brayed like a donkey, and snorted egg out of his nose. This, in turn, caused such hilarity that Kimber gave herself a jolt of electricity and Daisy accidentally broke her chair into bits when she burped unexpectedly—and in an alarmingly smelly way. When everyone had finally calmed down and eaten more than they could possibly hold, Betty served cake and ice cream and shooed them away and told them to play outside, and for heaven's sake not to cause any more mischief.

Next, Piper gathered everyone around Conrad on the porch for presents. Conrad proceeded to shake each of the strangely shaped objects and pointedly guess, in a hopeful way, that they might contain weapons-grade plutonium for his time machine. To which everyone rolled their eyes and assured him that no one was going to give him plutonium for his birthday. Conrad pretended to be disappointed but dug into his gifts with good humor.

Lily gave Conrad a silk tie, which was met with groans that she stubbornly ignored as she loudly explained how it was the very latest fashion from Paris. Ahmed and Nalen whipped up a small windstorm that tidily snatched the tie away in the hopes of putting an end to Lily's fashion lesson. Undaunted, Lily telekinetically retrieved the precious tie while at the same time “accidentally” tipping the Mustafa brothers' drinks into their laps (which was Lily's way of politely reminding them not to mess with her or, and perhaps more important, a fashionable silk tie).

Violet gave Conrad an extremely rare coin that she had dug up in her latest archaeological adventure. But it was Myrtle's present that caused an uproar. On one of her recent jaunts across the globe Myrtle had stumbled across a pygmy rhinoceros. He was a box-shaped creature no larger than a football, and Myrtle had clumsily wrapped him in a package so that when Conrad opened it, startling him out of his nap, he immediately chomped down on Conrad's fingers.

“Owww!” Conrad jerked his hand away but the tiny rhinoceros refused to release his fingers. Fortunately Daisy was able to gently pry its jaws open and Jasper quickly healed Conrad's bleeding appendages, at which point they were all finally able to get a good look at the pugnacious little fellow. He was a muddy gray color and his skin was all wrinkled up and leathery. He made a snuffling sound when he breathed and he was stamping about clumsily knocking his horn into things.

“I named him Fido,” Myrtle offered tentatively, trying to gauge Conrad's reaction. “But you can call him anything you want.”

Conrad grew very silent and looked at Fido, who was at that moment biting the bottom of his jeans and growling playfully. Conrad was by no means under any illusion; Fido was snappish, dangerous, and unquestionably one of the ugliest creatures he had ever seen, yet still he was struck dumb by the presence of him.

As Conrad's silence stretched into an uncomfortable length Myrtle shifted nervously and looked to Daisy for help. Daisy didn't know what to say and so she nudged Jasper.

“D-d-don't you like him?” Jasper asked meekly.

Conrad looked up at his friends with a suspicious shine in his eyes. “I've never had a pet before,” he said. “My father wouldn't allow it.” Conrad swallowed hard. “I think this is the best birthday I have ever had.”

“Yippee!” Conrad's friends cheered with excitement and relief, and of the entire group Piper made the most noise.

Fido was once again startled by the unexpected clatter and suddenly a pair of wings snapped out from beneath the folds of skin on his back. He bolted into the air, flapping about in erratic patterns. This development was such a startling revelation it struck many of the kids dumb.

“I forgot to mention”—Myrtle shrugged—“Fido can fly. I think he's part bat.”

Conrad grinned, watching the crazy creature bumping into trees and bumbling through the air.

“He's fast!” Piper was delighted and immediately took to the air after him.

The rest of the day was taken up with games and Conrad getting to know his first pet so that by the time the sun set everyone was tuckered and laughed out. When the kids had all gone home Piper found Conrad hunched over his workbench diligently tinkering with a white oval device the size of an ostrich egg, which he called TiTI (short for Time Infinity Travel Instigator). Fido snored loudly at his feet, twitching at odd moments.

“Whatcha doing?” Piper asked, perching next to Conrad.

“Just putting on the finishing touches.” Conrad didn't take his eyes from TiTI, turning it over and using a very small laser to cut precise incisions on the mechanism within.