The Boyfriend of the Month Club
Read The Boyfriend of the Month Club Online
Authors: Maria Geraci
Tags: #General, #Fiction, #Female friendship, #Family & Relationships, #Love & Romance, #Contemporary Women, #Single Women, #Romance, #Daytona Beach (Fla.), #Dating (Social customs), #Love Stories
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 - The Ghost of Boyfriends Past
Chapter 2 - Beware of Bars Named After Drunken Birds
Chapter 3 - Does Talking to a Plastic Alligator Mean You’re Crazy?
Chapter 4 - La Lechuga y el Tomate
Chapter 6 - My Good Opinion, Once Lost, Is Probably Lost Forever
Chapter 7 - Hopelessly Attractive Men
Chapter 8 - Lettuce Is a Simple Vegetable
Chapter 10 - Badly Done, Grace
Chapter 11 - The Way to a Man’s Heart Is Through Flan
Chapter 12 - I’ll Take What’s Behind Door Number One, Please
Chapter 14 - The Most Dangerous Kind of Man Is One Who Actually Listens to You
Chapter 15 - Players, Like Rakes, Amuse More in Literature Than They Do in Real Life
Chapter 16 - In Vain Have I Struggled, My Feelings Will Not Be Denied
Chapter 17 - I Haven’t the Least Idea of Loving Him, Or Anyone Else for That Matter
Chapter 18 - The Way to a Woman’s Heart Is Through Her Stuffed Alligator
Chapter 19 - What Are Men to Champagne and Chocolate?
Chapter 20 - Clueless Is Not Just the Name of a Movie
Chapter 21 - Vanity Working on a Weak Head Produces Every Sort of Disaster
Chapter 22 - My Good Opinion Is Restored
Chapter 24 - Lies, Sex, and Jane Austen
Chapter 27 - The Curse Strikes Again
Chapter 28 - Overbooked, Overwhelmed, and So, So Over It
Chapter 29 - Be Careful What You Ask St. Anthony For
Chapter 30 - I Bet Jane Austen Was Fat
Chapter 31 - Sometimes the Tomato Just Wants to Be Alone
Chapter 32 - The Official Kiss-Off
Chapter 33 - Reconciliation Is the New Confession
Chapter 34 - Bless Me, Father, for I Have Sinned
Chapter 35 - Real Men Do Zumba
Chapter 36 - Chipping Away at the Curse
Chapter 37 - What Goes Around, Comes Around
Chapter 38 - Reader, It All Worked Out the Way It Was Supposed To
Chapter 39 - Joe, Such a Little Name, for Such a Person
the boyfriend of the month club
Better than chocolate-covered marshmallows . . .
“Ellen, tell us who you’ve been having mediocre sex with, so I can cross him off my potential boyfriend list.”
Sarah and Penny started giggling.
Grace smiled. “You didn’t think I was going to let that comment slide, did you? I love chocolate-covered marshmallows as much as the next girl, but better than sex? I don’t think so.”
Of the four of them, Ellen was the most secretive about her love life, but she now looked resigned to the fact that she was going to have to talk.
“You remember I told you about the IT guy who was revamping all the computers on campus? I went out with him a few times.”
“Ellen, I’m shocked!” Sarah said. “A
few
times? And you gave it up that easily? What happened to your ten-date rule?”
“The ten-date rule is only good if you actually go out ten times. I haven’t had more than four consecutive dates with the same guy in almost three years.”
“That’s because you’re not giving it up fast enough,” Penny said.
“Was it that bad?” Sarah asked.
Ellen reached for another marshmallow. “He was all right. But he certainly wasn’t—”
“Heathcliff!” the three of them shouted.
“Honestly, Ellen,” Grace said, “if you’re going to have a crush on a fantasy hero, why him?”
“I have to agree with Grace,” said Sarah. “What’s the fascination? Because I don’t get it. He’s, like . . . sadistic.”
“I know Heathcliff isn’t perfect,” Ellen said. “But nobody is, not
even
Mr. Darcy, which Grace would know all about since she has her own live version of him.”
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
Copyright © 2010 by Maria Geraci
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PRINTING HISTORY
Berkly trade paperback edition / December 2010
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Geraci, Maria.
eISBN : 978-1-101-47802-8
1. Single women—Fiction. 2. Female friendship—Fiction. 3. Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. 4. Daytona Beach (Fla.)—Fiction. I. Title.
PS3607.E7256B69 2010
813’.6—dc22
2010013512
For my sister Carmen.
Thank you for being the Lettuce.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
There are so many people I need to thank for this one. There’s my parents, Carmen and Fernando Palacios, whose love and support I can always count on. My sister Carmen, who’s not just a fantastic sister, but a wonderful friend as well. My husband, Mike, whose patience knows no bounds. And of course my kids, Stephanie, Kevin and Megan. I hope you know how much I appreciate the sacrifices you all make when I’m writing on a deadline and don’t have the time or energy to do the things I want and should do.
Thank you, Deidre Knight, for always believing in me. You’re a super agent and super friend!
I’d like to also especially thank my wonderful editor, Wendy Mc-Curdy, her editorial assistant, Katherine Pelz, and my publicist, Erin Galloway, as well as the fantastic folks in the art department at Berkley. Thanks for the awesome cover!
Thank you to all the wonderful friends who inspire me to keep writing. To my early readers, Lissa McConnell and Lisa Wallace. The Tallahassee Bunco Broads, and Pari and the rest of the nurses in labor and delivery at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital, who cheer me on and keep me motivated. A special wink to Amy Ruscher for coming up with the Céline Dion bit. Much better than Barry Manilow! And last but not least, to Melissa Francis, my critique partner extraordinaire, who listens to every plot point and twist, countless times over and over until I get it just right. Where would I be without you?
1
The Ghost of Boyfriends Past
Grace O’Bryan didn’t believe in ghosts. She also didn’t believe in witches, vampires, love at first sight, that there was anything real about reality TV, or the ridiculous claim that you could lose ten pounds on the three-day cabbage soup diet (she’d tried it twice). If you couldn’t see it, feel it, touch it, or taste it, then in all likelihood it didn’t exist. Which made for some very practical thinking on Grace’s part. Except for the one ripple in the otherwise smooth seas of her personal logic. Like her
abuela
Graciela—the Cuban grandmother Grace was named after—what she
did
believe in was curses.
How else could you explain tonight?
She had waited a whopping two months for Brandon Farrell to ask her out, only to wake up this morning on her period. Not that that in itself was a problem. She wasn’t a have-sex-on-the-first-date kind of girl. Nor did she suffer from bad cramps. But she’d also woken up five pounds heavier than she’d been last night (maybe she should have given the cabbage soup diet one more try). So instead of the outfit she’d planned on wearing, she’d ended up borrowing her best friend Sarah’s little black dress. Sarah had excellent taste in clothes—the dress was a winning combination of elegant yet discreetly sexy. Sarah was also a size larger than Grace, and the dress had fit perfectly. At least it had fit perfectly back at Grace’s town house. It wasn’t until Grace had folded herself into her tiny red VW Bug that she’d noticed the dress was a tad too short.
And now, thanks to some heavier than average Saturday evening Daytona Beach traffic, she was late for her date. She tugged on the hem of Sarah’s dress and opened the door to the city’s newest, most exclusive restaurant, Chez Louis, only to find herself nose to aquiline nose with Felix Barberi.
Grace sucked in a breath. It was a Dickensian nightmare. Too bad the man standing in front of her was one hundred percent real. Grace might not subscribe to love at first sight, but substitute lust for love, and in Felix’s case she’d been a firm believer.
At first, Felix had been incredibly charming, despite his annoying habit of wanting to make out to Céline Dion’s number one hit “My Heart Will Go On
.
” But Felix worked in the restaurant business and the brutal hours had strained their relationship and tarnished his charm. The ultimate strain had come when Grace had returned early from a business trip to surprise Felix on Valentine’s Day. She’d gone to his apartment with a bottle of red wine and a pepperoni and anchovy pizza, only to catch Felix going at it with a dancer from the Topless-a-Go-Go.