The Breakup Artist (10 page)

“Hey, Claire, I think we need to talk,” I said stiffly, trying to keep the slight discomfort out of my voice.

“Yeah, we do. How on earth did you convince David to go back out with me? I mean, I have complete faith in you, Mia, I really do, but this was actually kind of shocking. Even for you. He was practically begging to have me back. It was wonderful. Now all I have to do is dump him at lunch in front of our friends and all will be forgiven.” She smiled brightly at me, and I stared back at her, completely at a loss for words. After a moment of my open-mouthed gaping, I blinked.

“Oh. Right. No problem.” I had absolutely no idea what was going on, but I smiled weakly at Claire as she bounded away down the hall. I still didn’t understand her logic of breaking up with him in front of her friends. My job was to make it so that she didn’t have to break up with him herself . . . like I said, some of my clients really just wanted me to set up a dramatic situation for them. They couldn’t care less about actually avoiding the awkward breakup.

After her retreat I opened my locker and rested my head against the propped-open door, letting the cool metal chill my forehead. None of this made any sense. Why had David decided he wanted Claire back so badly, especially after he’d just kissed me? Was I really that bad at kissing? That obviously wasn’t the reason; I mean, even if I was a bad kisser, I couldn’t possibly be bad enough to drive him back into Claire’s arms.

As I gathered myself together and went off in pursuit of Blane, a million emotions ran through me. I was happy I’d avoided the inevitable failure of Claire’s request, relieved that I had apparently had something to do with it, and hurt that David had begged to have her back. They’d never seemed happy together, even before I’d stepped in to ruin things for them. But as much as I hated to admit it, this was for the best. I couldn’t let myself get too attached to people when my job was to destroy their happiness. Breathing in deeply, I let the thoughts of David go, hoping that they wouldn’t haunt me anymore.

Blane was sitting in a group filled with jocks, a cheerleader at the very center of their attention. I had assumed Lexi had told her friends what I’d be doing, so I could at least avoid dirty looks from them as I threw myself at Blane. Putting on a peppy smile, I walked over to the group, very aware that I only had seven minutes until the bell would ring. It wasn’t hard to get Blane’s attention at all and I thought I might be able to get out of this one without a date. His head turned when he noticed all of his friends taking in the sight of me. He looked me up and down appreciatively, almost hungrily, and I suppressed an annoyed sigh.

“What can I do for you?” he asked, puckering his lips slightly as he waited for my response. Jocks were always so hard to deal with. Smile still firmly in place, I didn’t answer and simply took a seat next to him. His friends watched me with disbelief, wondering why this hot girl had suddenly decided to infiltrate the ranks of the popular. The girls, however, jumped right back into conversation with their respective boyfriends, obviously in on what I was there for. With the focus of the group off of me, it was easier to concentrate on Blane, and just how to get rid of him.

I crossed my legs toward him so that my foot lightly rested against his calf. The skirt I was wearing was just short enough that it slid up slightly with this movement, instantly drawing Blane’s eyes to my nicely tanned legs. I never really appreciated being ogled, but sometimes it was just the quickest way to get the job done. Obviously the flattering elements of my tank top weren’t lost on him either as I launched into my story.

“My name’s Amy,” I said sweetly. “I’m friends with Lexi.” These words brought a slight frown to his face as he remembered his girlfriend. I leaned a little closer to him as if to say that he could have me if only he didn’t have that one little obstacle in the way. With that idea planted in his mind, I continued. “You see, she was sick today and we were supposed to hang out, so I figured, being the nice guy you are, you wouldn’t mind if I sat with you?” I looked up at him from under my eyelashes, my face the perfect mask of innocence.

He smiled back at me and nodded. “Of course you can sit here,” he said smoothly, obviously used to being approached by pretty girls. “And Lexi’s not my girlfriend,” he corrected me. Unlike the little situation with David and Claire, I knew for a fact that Lexi Monroe was still this boy’s girlfriend, which meant the lie signified my partial success.

“Oh, well, that’s funny,” I said, still keeping my voice as guiltless as a child’s, “because I thought you two were dating. She did actually seem to think it’d be a good idea if you guys maybe did break up though . . . which I must admit would make me pretty happy.”

“She said that?” he asked, and for a moment I thought I’d actually hurt his feelings. Silly me. “Well, that’s a relief.” He breathed out a huge breath just to solidify his statement, and I painfully kept my smile in place. This job had begun to make me doubt relationships as a whole. It seemed like almost everyone I had to break up was more than willing to drop any connection they had with each other because of popularity, or another pretty girl hitting on them, or their stupid reputation. The whole thing seemed to be so messed up and skewed from what reality should be. It was just sad. And yet, here I was, making money off of the madness. I didn’t have time to ponder this though, because I felt the presence of another body next to me instantly.

I looked over at the newcomer only to see David’s grinning face staring back at me. “Hey, babe,” he said, as if he’d been saying it his whole life. I noticed with one quick visual sweep that he was dressed differently today. He looked kind of like a jock actually. Dressed almost exactly like Blane. My eyes widened, and I quickly looked back to Blane, hoping beyond all hope that if I just ignored him he’d go away. I didn’t quite know what he was doing, but it was bad whatever it was.

“Why are you over here instead of with me, where I can appreciate the view a bit better?” He wrapped an arm around my shoulder as he said this and nudged his nose against my ear, sending instant shivers down my spine, which I pointedly ignored.

“Is this your boyfriend?” Blane asked stupidly, obviously a little slow on the uptake. This whole thing was going horribly wrong. I opened my mouth to say no, but amazingly David beat me to it, informing Blane that he was, in fact, my boyfriend. I turned around to face David, either so I could kill him or yell at him, but when I turned he kissed me fiercely, silencing my protests and solidifying his point to Blane.

“See ya,” he said to the jock next to me as he ushered me away, his arm still wrapped tightly around my shoulders. I was completely dumbstruck, my mouth hanging open slightly as he continued to push me through crowds of people. The bell had just rung, so the herd was moving quickly through the halls. David pulled me aside near a water fountain, which is when I finally regained my senses.

“What is wrong with you?” I whispered angrily. “I was . . .” I let my words trail off. I couldn’t very well say I was working. That would give away my entire big secret.

“Yes?” he prompted a smug smile on his face.

“I was busy,” I finished, keeping the anger hot in my voice. “Besides, Claire told me you two were back together,” I spat, not needing to fake rage this time.

“Only until she breaks up with me at lunch,” he said casually, as if this were the norm for a relationship, which, let’s face it, in high school, it sort of is. I gaped at him, wondering how he knew this was what was going to happen. “Come on, Amelia, you didn’t think I’d give up on you that easily, did you?” His words sent a slight panic through my whole body. He had figured it out.

“When did you find out?” I asked shakily. “Was it when I dyed my hair for no reason or when you saw me with Blane?” I was doing it again—the too-much-information thing. What if he didn’t actually know anything and I was the one who’d just turned myself in?

“Give me some credit. Just because I’m dressed like a jock doesn’t mean I think like one. I’ve known for well over a year, even with you changing schools all the time.”

A year? How could he have possibly known for a year? As was often the case with David, nothing seemed to be making sense, but everything seemed to be falling apart. I took in a deep breath, aware of the quickly emptying hallway around us.

“So what do you want?” I asked finally.

“I want you to stop,” he said simply. “It’s not right. People need to fight their own battles. Besides, do you really think it’s okay to break these boy’s hearts and then make it seem okay with false promises?”

I made an indignant sound at him. He was being far too harsh. “All right, David, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but most of the relationships in high school aren’t really true love, soul mate, eat your horrible cooking just because I love you type of things. They’re ‘I’ll date you because it makes me look good and I’ll dump you for the same reason.’ That’s what high school dating is all about, so I’m pretty sure I haven’t ruined anyone’s life.” His assumptions were making me angry and the nonchalant way in which he judged me made me furious. Who was he to judge what I do?

“It doesn’t matter if you’re destroying people or not, Amelia. Don’t you think you’re hurting the people who hire you? If they never have to fight their own battles, isn’t that a problem?” His voice held an angry edge that worried me, and I tried to grasp onto anything to defend my character with.

“You didn’t even like Claire, did you?” I asked finally. He laughed a short, humorless laugh.

“She’s one of your regular clients I’ve noticed, so I figured I’d only have to date her for a week at the most in order to obtain the honor of meeting you.” He said all of this with a wry smile on his face, and the expression made me want to slap him. Hard.

“So you used her to get to me. How is that any different than what you’re preaching against? Apparently you’re no angel, either.”

“Do you really think I could hurt Claire by letting her date me for a week and then letting her break up with me? I doubt she even remembers the names of half of her boyfriends.” I knew that what he said was true but it definitely wasn’t helping my case any. Why did I have to have such sleazy clients? It would be so much easier to defend my character if I actually had a weapon to defend it with.

“Why is it that you think the girls in this situation are horrible monsters and the boys are innocent angels being hurt by my acts?” So this was a slight exaggeration compared to what he had actually said, but he got my point.

“I’m not saying that, Amelia.” Again with the chronic name usage. “I’m saying that both parties are victims of what you do. You’re making it so that these girls don’t learn how to do things for themselves, and you’re obviously hurting the boys by denying them an actual explanation for their girlfriend’s sudden cold feelings. Besides, how do you know that your actions don’t have more serious repercussions than what you actually see? Just because these boys don’t break down in a fit of tears right in front of you doesn’t mean that they aren’t seriously hurting.”

Being a person with no personality and no friends meant that no one questioned my judgment very often, which was exactly the way I liked things. It was difficult for me to stand by and listen to this boy make judgment calls about my character, when I might not even possess character. I glared at David for a moment before shaking my head.

“I’m going to be late for English,” I said simply, storming off down the hallway.

“I’m really sorry, Amelia, but I’m going to have to end your business. But no hard feelings, okay?” I heard him call after me, answering the unspoken question I’d been too afraid to ask.