The Bull Rider's Brother (2 page)

Together the duo headed to the bar, turning to look back once at James and Lizzie.

“Go ahead, James, I don’t think she bites,” Jesse called to his brother.

“Hard,” Barb added and then the two broke into laughter as they disappeared into the crowded bar.

James stepped up the stands, his cowboy boots clicking on the hard metal. Each step brought him closer to the woman who had told him to die a slow and painful death the last time they’d spoken. Swallowing back a sense of unease, he took the last step on the riser. He could do this. He owed her at least an explanation why of he’d left without a word — not even a goodbye.

Slipping in next to her, he leaned back, not looking at her, asked. “How’ve you been?”

She shrugged without looking at him. “I’ve been good. More than good.”

James listened to the tone of her words. She had left something unsaid, but he had to expect that. They hadn’t spoken in six years. Her perfume, the same sweet floral she’d worn when they dated seeped into his pores. His fingers ached to reach over and pull her close. God, he hadn’t even realized he’d missed her. Hadn’t allowed himself to.

“You down from Portland?” James searched the night sky for signs of stars. The valley was so closed in and narrow, the stars wouldn’t show until later in the evening. He searched for them anyway so he didn’t have to look at her. Sitting next to her brought back all the feelings he thought he’d thrown away when he left.

“I’m home. I live with Dad. Mom passed eighteen months ago.” Lizzie stopped short. Again, James got the feeling there was something more. He felt her turn and look at him.

“So you’re running still with Jesse? Rodeo manager?”

Nice way to change the subject. Lizzie could give a rat’s ass about Jesse. He’d been the subject of many of their fights when they were dating. She’d made it especially clear that last night. She thought Jesse was trouble.

“I try to keep him in line. Setting up his rides, cutting off the alcohol, making the travel arrangements, and handling the money.”

“No wonder you and Jesse never got married. You’re perfect for each other.” Lizzie’s words were hurt and sarcastic.

“Can we get through one conversation without fighting?” He turned and looked at her, surprised to see tears forming in her eyes. “Hey, don’t cry.” It was high school all over. When she cried, and if he could, he had to do something about it. “Please don’t cry. I’ll start over.”

Taking a deep breath, he turned away for a second then turned back.

“Hey, Liz, it’s great to see you. I’ve missed you.” He saw her relax for a second. Then she froze again.

She inched away from him on the metal riser, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “It’s very nice to see you, too. What have you been doing besides running Jesse’s career and keeping him out of jail?”

Ouch. James winced. She couldn’t quit, could she? But the question hit closer to home than he cared to admit. He’d had to buy Jesse’s way out of a few scrapes. Towns Lizzie had never heard of, so how could she know — unless she was fishing. Trying to get James to admit his brother was a royal screw up, just like she’d said and same as he’d always been.

“I bought a place near Idaho City where we winter,” James cut to the question’s answer, ignoring what he didn’t want to think about, same as always. “It’s got a great horse setup, including a breeding barn. You still ride?”

“Not as often as I’d like. I’m pretty busy around the place. Dad’s not … well, he’s not himself. I handle most of the chores.”

“I could stop by this weekend. Help get the place set for the summer, clean out the cabins, check the springs.” James brightened. A little manual labor would help him clear out the craziness that came with managing Jesse lately. Help get himself focused.

“I can handle the chores myself. I don’t need help.” Even to her Lizzie’s voice sounded loud and sharp. She grimaced.

“Don’t get all frazzled. I only offered. You always did want to handle everything on your own.” James tried to force her hand. “I know how hard things have been for you, Lizzie. I’ve heard all about — ”

“Who told?” She didn’t let him finish before jumping on him. “I swear if Barb blabbed to Jesse, I’m going to cut her hair off. That girl could never keep her mouth shut over other people’s business.” Lizzie scanned the open doorway of the bar, looking for Barb to grab and murder, James guessed. When she didn’t see what she wanted, Lizzie turned to him, her face taut. “I know you’re mad. And you have a right to be. I didn’t know how to tell you at first. Then time passed and it seemed like it was too late.”

“Hold on, I’m not following you. What did you want to tell me?” James caught and held Lizzie’s hands. When she didn’t answer, he squeezed. “Lizzie?”

• • •

Time seemed to stand still. The breath flushed out of her. Heart pounding, she stared at James.
Idiot! He doesn’t know and you almost told him.

Turning away, Lizzie scanned the street, looking for a distraction. She had never lied well. Not as a kid to her parents, and she’d never once been able to lie to James’s face. Not even when it was for the best.

Lies of omission because of absence didn’t count.

Her hands were shaking and she knew it wasn’t the cold. She pulled them into herself, hoping to make them stop. “I told you. I moved back here. I didn’t want you to laugh because all my big plans turned out to be pipe dreams.” Lizzie glanced up at the carved, angular features that were ready for a shave even though he’d probably already shaved early that morning. She wanted to reach out and caress his face, the face she saw every morning now without the beard stubble. JR’s face.

“That’s not what you were going to say. I’m not stupid, Lizzie.”

“You two look like old times.” Timing perfect as ever, Jesse banged his way up the metal steps toward them. “Still fighting I see.” He handed a longneck bottle to each of them. “Give me your empties.”

Thank God for Jesse.

Lizzie finished off her warm beer in two gulps and handed the bottle to Jesse, who promptly threw it off the stands.

“Hey,” she protested before a crash of bottle on bottle reached them, proof Jesse had hit the open dumpster between the parade stand and the bar.

“What, you thought I’d miss? Captain of the basketball team, four years straight?” Jesse grinned down at her.

“Shawnee’s a small school.” Lizzie shook her head. This had been the routine for the four of them every first weekend of May since she could remember. Junior year, Jesse talked his dad into stocking the cooler they kept in the back of the pickup. Then his dad had confiscated the truck keys until Monday morning. The man wouldn’t deny his favorite son much, but he wasn’t stupid.

Jesse grinned. “So now what? A trip down memory lane? Or do you two girls want to dance? There’s a band starting up down at the park. Jimmy Lee and the Blue Jays.” Jesse always knew where the best parties were. Even after being out of town for years, he still had the pulse of the party.

James tried to brush Jesse away. “We’re talking. Give us ten minutes.”

Lizzie stood up. “Why wait? Let’s go now. We can catch up later.”

“I always knew you were the fun one.” Jesse took Lizzie’s hand on one side and Barb’s hand on the other. “Ladies, let’s boogie.”

Lizzie glanced over her shoulder back at James, his dark eyes focused on her. “Come on, James.”

“We will talk about this,” he grumbled as he followed the group down the metal stairs and onto the sidewalk.

That’s what I’m afraid of
, Lizzie’s rigid back told him. Jaw set, James hurried to catch her up.

As they walked toward the river park, the beat of the jukebox rocking River’s End faded. Lizzie could hear a hoot owl calling across the river and the gentle lapping of the river against the bank. The river nicknamed The River of No Return because of the sharp and narrow canyons the water carved through the mountains. But in town, the water slipped quietly through the narrow channel giving the local kids a place to swim.

“I’d forgotten how quiet it is here.” James voice came from behind.

Lizzie kept her hand in Jesse’s, but turned to look at James. “I know. Portland’s nice, and it’s close to the Columbia, but there’s nothing like this.”

James matched his steps to hers. “Sorry I pushed back there. I really just wanted you to know if there’s ever anything you need, you can call me.”

Lizzie’s throat caught. She couldn’t call without first asking him for his phone number. And then —

Well, how did you tell someone he had a five-year-old son? She shook her head. Five-and-a-half years ago when she’d arrived home from Portland pregnant, her mom had been clear. Lizzie could choose security for herself and her baby at home with them or a life on the road with James and Jesse.

Now there was just her, JR, and her dad. And lately, none of it felt terribly secure. “Thanks for the offer. I appreciate it.”

“No problem.” James nodded to a table near the edge of the park. “Looks like we’ve got the last table.”

When they reached it, Lizzie slipped onto the wooden bench plank. To commemorate Shawnee’s timber town roots, the local lumber mill had donated the park and all the landscaping. The table was rough-cut wood rather than the typical mass produced redwood in the nearby national parks.

“Ready for another beer?” Jesse stood next to her. “Barbs and I will get them. You two sit and finish whatever it was you were talking about before.”

“Seriously, Jesse, I didn’t come here to talk. I thought we were dancing?” Lizzie’s glance went from Barb to Jesse, hoping one of them would show pity and help her out of this mess.

“I’m kind of thirsty.” Jesse grinned. “Sit down and claim the table for us. We can dance later.” He grabbed Barb by the arm and almost skipped in the direction of the beer tent.

Lizzie shook her head. “I didn’t think Jesse liked me. And here he is getting me a beer, leaving us to talk. He would never have stood for this our last summer together. Remember how we had to push-start the truck so he wouldn’t hear us leave the house?”

James snorted. “He’d get so mad. And of course Dad took his side. Even though I paid most of the money for that old truck, Jesse thought it was his and his alone.”

“What’s James’s is Jesse’s and what Jesse’s is Jesse’s. It’s the Sullivan way.” She paused, knowing she treaded on shaky ground. “So what’s it like working with him?”

“Don’t you mean working for him?” James shot her a look of … what? Distrust? Dissatisfaction? Lizzie couldn’t tell in the darkness.

“You two have always been a team. Isn’t it that way now?”

“Things have changed. I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t get him to commit to a schedule more than a couple weeks in advance. Usually by mid-April our entire summer’s planned. You know he’s won the championship in Vegas two years running. This year he’s got a shot at a third, but who knows with him. Something’s not right.” James took off his black cowboy hat, running his fingers through his brown hair. He grinned. “I need a cut.”

Lizzie brushed a piece of hair out of his eyes. “I always liked it longer. Remember when we braided it for the rodeo and your dad had a cow?”

“What, you want to look like a girl?” James imitated his dad’s gruff voice. “He got hot.”

Lizzie put her hand on his. She almost jerked back at the electricity she felt. This was a mistake. She should be anywhere but here but she couldn’t leave. “I was sorry to hear about the accident. You doing okay?”

“Dad made his peace with us a few weeks before it happened. He was driving to Cody to watch Jesse ride when the truck went into the river.” James’s head dropped, but his eyes sought out his brother. “Jesse blamed himself for a long time. We both knew Dad liked to sip a little on his road trips. They found an empty flask in the cab.”

Lizzie shut her eyes, feeling for him. “You can’t change people. They are who they are.” Opening her eyes, she found Jesse standing by the beer tent. A woman in new jeans, boots, and a bright pink satin shirt hung on his arm. Barb sat with a different group, but Lizzie saw her watching Jesse and the woman, too. “Who’s the buckle bunny with Jesse? She’s a little old for the rodeo scene, isn’t she?”

James’s head popped up from watching her hand rest on top of his. “Where?”

“Over by the beer garden.” Lizzie pointed. “The bleached blonde. Don’t tell me you can’t see her. That outfit outshines the lights strung around the park.”

James swore under his breath. “I can’t believe she had the nerve to show up here.” He stood up and pulled out his wallet. “Lizzie, I’ve got to go.” He gave her a business card. “Call me tomorrow and we’ll get together for breakfast. We need to talk.”

Holding onto the card by its edges, Lizzie cringed mentally.
Buddy, you don’t know the half of it
. Aloud she asked, “Where are you going?”

“I need to talk to Jesse.” James leaned down and closed her hand over the card. “Seriously, call me. I need to talk to you.”

“Sure, but Jesse’s rescue comes first.” The hurt that rose over James choosing his brother instead of her six years ago got away from her before she could stop it. She’d been right. Rodeo weekend still made her feel like high school. Alone and disappointed. Second choice to Jesse. Like she’d always been an afterthought in James’s life and always would be one.

At least this time, James hadn’t left her pregnant and alone when he went off after his brother.

“Wake up, sleepyhead. Let’s get down to The Pancake House before they run out of huckleberry pancakes.” Barb’s voice came through the condo’s bedroom door where Lizzie curled into a fetal position in the huge, soft bed. Like she was the princess and Barbara was the nagging pea. If the nagging pea would only go away, she wouldn’t even need a hundred mattresses to be comfortable. This one was heaven. With the heavy down comforter pulled over her, Lizzie didn’t want to move. She didn’t want her short vacation from Mom Land to end. Not this fast.

But the sun shone and Barb was hungry. In a few hours, JR would be chatting her ear off, telling her all about the parade and what he and Gramps had been up to while she’d lounged the morning away.