The Candidate's Affair (21 page)

I twisted out of his grip, shaking the circulation back to my arm. “What was that for?” I snapped at him.

“I’m sorry. I grabbed a little too tightly. You need to let this go. Nothing good can come from going after Hughes. You know that.” Paxton stood, towering over me. “I don’t want you holding on to this.”

“I know that the man who killed Spence is walking free. If we don’t do something, how can I be sure he won’t come after us again? What if he hurts you this time?” I threw myself at Pax. “Oh, God. Now that you’re running for governor, he’s going to come after you.”

I felt the ground shifting under me.

“Shh…shh.” He stroked my hair. “I’m not scared of Hughes anymore. He’s done with politics. His career is over. I’m not fearful, and I don’t want you to be either. We have the best security system on the house. I can hire protection for you if that makes you feel better.” He turned my chin upward. “He won’t hurt you.”

His words quieted the fear that had suddenly sprung. I had been tossed out to sea again, and Pax had anchored me back to safety.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“I’ll always keep you safe, Audrey. Always.”

I
t was unnerving walking on the beach while a security guard watched me, but this was how it had to be now. When I was outside the walls of our house, I had someone from the security company with me. I told Pax it made me feel safer, and it did.

Since the judge threw the Hughes case out of court, I hadn’t slept through the night. I had nightmares. Dreams where I would see Spence get in his car and he would drive straight for me, revving the engine. I’d scream and tell him to stop, but he’d drive anyway. My feet planted on the yellow stripes of the asphalt, unable to move, and then I’d look down, and my knees were covered in mud. Tranter’s Creek was behind me and the car had turned from the road. Spence was there. I’d try to warn him, and every time I woke up right before the car hit the tree.

I had that same dream again last night. I awoke with coldness crawling over my skin. My heart beating hard against my chest. I reached for Pax, but he wasn’t there. Our king-sized bed was empty.

I found him in the office scribbling out notes for a speech.

“Are you coming back to bed?” I wanted him to pick me up and carry me across the hall where our room was.

“In a little while. I couldn’t sleep. I thought about the farm reform that the House just proposed, and I think I have a way to make it work for both parties.” He made two columns on his sheet of paper.

“That’s great. What about in the morning? Can’t it wait?”

“I have that breakfast to talk about super pac funding. I’ll be out of here by seven. There’s no time. Man, I wish I could just work twenty-four-seven. Sleep is getting in the way of everything I need to do.”

“Oh,” I said quietly. “Ok. I’ll just try to go back to sleep.” Telling him about the dream now seemed out of place.

“Wait, what is it?” He dropped the pen. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I was only checking on you.”

“Good night.”

“Good night.” I closed the door behind me.

That was my husband. He was a workaholic. Could I blame him? He was running for governor and still had a job as a state senator. He had obligations that were planned months in advance. Free time was limited. Alone time had become difficult to find.

I crouched in the surf and retrieved a piece of beach glass. I felt the smooth green edges against my fingers, and jerked when I felt a jagged point snag across my thumb. The blood ran into palm.

“Ouch.” I hurled the glass back in the surf, gritting my teeth. I never saw the sharp edge jutting out from the rest. It had felt so smooth.

I charged past the man standing by the boardwalk. “Do you need something, Mrs. Tanner?”

“No.” I shrugged him off. “Just a Band-Aid. It’s a little cut, that’s all.”

“I can get something for you,” he offered.

“No. I said I’ve got it.” I jogged up the stairs to the deck. I would apologize later.

I bandaged my thumb and refilled my coffee cup in the kitchen. The man was posted outside the door.

I picked up my phone and noticed I had missed a few calls. I listened to the messages while I stirred creamer into my mug. I was waiting for Pax to call me about the super pac’s contribution totals.

The campaign was pleased with fundraising figures so far, but they wanted to get ahead. It was better to have more in reserve than they needed rather than scramble near the end of the campaign to drum up support. I thought of all the things those millions could be used for instead of commercials, billboards, and newspaper ads, but this was the game I was in now.

There was a call from my doctor’s office confirming my appointment tomorrow. I hit delete. Then I heard it. A woman’s voice. She was talking quickly.

“This is Becky Hof—just Becky. Lyla Voight gave me your number. Please call me. I need to speak with you. It’s urgent.”

I stared at my phone. She didn’t sound like a reporter. She sounded nervous and rushed. There’s a saying about curiosity. I dialed the number and waited.

“Hello?”

“This is Audrey Tanner.” It still felt strange to use another last name. “Is this Becky?”

“I didn’t think you’d call.” Her voice was quiet.

“All right. You said you know Lyla Voight.” I waited.

“I do. Can we meet? I know you don’t know me, but…”

“I—uh—my schedule is pretty booked. What do you need help with? Is it an interview?”

“I’m the one who gave Lyla that photo of your husband.”

I treaded lightly. “And how did you wind up with that picture?”

“Because I’m the girl who’s in it.”

“You’re the girl?” I asked.

“Yes. Can we please meet?”

“All right. When?”

“How about now? Can you come alone?”

The security detail was posted outside the door. I could take him with me like I always did or ditch him. There was a coffee shop at the entrance of the development. If I took my bike, I could be there in five minutes.

“Do you know where Jitter Jive is?” I already had my bag on my shoulder.

“I do. I’ll see you there.” She hung up.

I was getting ready to do something I said I would never do. Doubt Pax. It was useless if I tried to convince myself I was going for coffee on his behalf. That I just wanted to be able to warn him about this woman. The pictures she might have. The evidence she had been compiling for years.

I was going so I could search for the truth on my own. Without him trying to protect me or steer me in another direction. I wanted to know if there was more to his past that he was too afraid to tell me.

I parked my bike in front of the window painted with coffee mugs and walked inside. I ordered a latte and sat in the corner, near the back.

Every time the bell over the door jingled, I jumped. It was silly, really. I waited for the latte to cool and my appointment to arrive.

I was ready to give up, and admit I had been part of a prank or a sleazy tabloid scheme, when a woman walked in.

She was short. Her hair tousled and layered in thin waves. She may have been thirteen years older, but I recognized her as the ski bunny from the photo Lyla exposed. A soft brown sweater hung loosely from her shoulders.

“Mrs. Tanner.” She slid into the seat across from me. “Thank you for meeting me.”

“Coffee?” I asked.

“No, I don’t want any. I think I’m too nervous to drink anything.”

“Don’t be nervous.” I didn’t think my words soothed her.

“Lyla told me you didn’t want to comment on the picture.”

“That’s right. I don’t see how any good can come from picking through my husband’s past. We’ve all done things we regret. Right? I definitely did things in college I’d rather not have splashed in the papers.” I tried to appeal to her woman to woman.

“Not like this.”

“I don’t think I understand. So what if you hooked up on vacation? I don’t think that’s a crime.”

She glanced around the coffee shop. The barista was busy lining up mugs for a large order. Becky whispered in my ear.

“Because it wasn’t just a hook up. He was going to leave Sarah for me.”

I pulled back slightly. I didn’t like how it felt her breathing across my skin. “You’re suggesting Paxton had a relationship with you?”

She nodded. “He did. We did.”

It wasn’t the devastating atomic bomb I was expecting. “All right. Thanks for letting me know, I guess.” I wondered if I could have my latte poured into a to-go cup.

She put a hand on my shoulder. “I wasn’t finished.”

I sat down. “I’m sorry. What else is there?”

“I’m sure Lyla mentioned something to you about how I was pregnant.”

“She did. I’ve heard this before. Are you going to tell me that he made you have an abortion, because I can’t believe that. Pax isn’t that kind of man.”

She shook her head. “No. I found out I was pregnant a few weeks after the ski weekend. I called Paxton and told him. We had been talking and emailing the entire time since he left. It was kind of a love-at-first-sight thing. Anyway, he said that was all he needed to hear. He would leave Sarah and help me raise the baby.”

I nodded along as her words flowed, stringing together a story that didn’t seem real.

“But, before he talked to Sarah, he told his father.”

“Mr. Tanner knew?”

“Yes. And he was furious. Told Paxton he had ruined his political future and that I would do nothing for his career but bring him shame. He forbade him to leave Sarah.”

“Forbade? What happened?”

“I did something horrible. Something so awful I’ve lived with it every day, hating myself. I took Aldredge Tanner’s money.”

“My father-in-law gave you money?”

She nodded. “He told me to tell Paxton I lost the baby and that I was moving to Europe to find myself or whatever crazy story I could come up with. He gave me a million dollars to pay for any medical expenses I needed to take care of the pregnancy and then set up a new life for myself in France.”

“So you did end the pregnancy.” I kept my voice low, but the words sounded loud and forceful.

“No. I didn’t.”

“What?”

“I took the money and I did go to a clinic. I had every intention of going through with it. I mean, what was I going to do at twenty-two with a baby and no father to help me raise it? I don’t have any family. But I backed out as soon as they put me in a room. I couldn’t do it.”