The Candidates (15 page)

IT WAS
a few days later that I realized things really had changed between me and Cam. I was finishing up my longest run yet—six miles—and I was completely exhausted. Rain was falling in a light drizzle high above the trees, though little drops made their way through the canopy of evergreen branches to fall on the path below. Sweat soaked my T-shirt, rolled down my back, and dampened the waistband of my leggings. My legs were trembling, but I had that post-run euphoric feeling.

That was when I saw Cam walking toward me. He was wearing his soccer shoes and had on track pants and a T-shirt. He had an expression I’d never really seen on him before—fury. Sure, I’d seen him annoyed, even downright pissed like on the day Jack was late for school. But this was something different. His whole body was stiff, and he was walking with a brutal efficiency, like he had somewhere to go and something serious to do when he got there.

I was almost scared to say hello, but he saw me first and held up his hand in acknowledgment. “How was your run?” he asked.

“Fine.” I was still breathing hard, so I sucked in a lungful of air before I continued. “You okay?”

We stopped when we reached each other in the trail.

“Yes. No …” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I guess.”

“That doesn’t sound okay,” I said, surprising myself with my own courage. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He hesitated, and then said, “I was just headed somewhere private. Want to come?”

Private sounded good, though I had a feeling in his current state he wasn’t thinking about me at all. “Sure. We don’t have to be back for dinner for another twenty minutes, right?”

He nodded. I turned, and we started walking in the direction he had been headed. For a while we were quiet, and I listened to the sound of the rain and wondered if I should say something.

Esther would know what to say. She’d probably be able to make him laugh.

Hennie would know what he was feeling. She’d look in his eyes and say exactly the right thing to make him feel better.

I was clueless.

“I got a call from my dad,” Cam finally said. “He’s working double shifts over Thanksgiving, so he suggested I stay at Delcroix for the holiday.”

I digested the information. “That sucks.”

“I should be used to it by now,” he said. “He’s been doing it forever. I can’t remember the last time he ever
has
been around for a holiday.” He picked up a stick that had fallen in the path and hurled it into the woods. With him angry like this, his broad shoulders seemed even bigger than usual, and his body seemed capable of doing a lot of damage.

“Did you stay here last year for Thanksgiving?”

He nodded. “It was okay. There were a few of us that stayed, and they made us a turkey and everything. The rest of the teachers left, but Mr. Judan stayed. I swear, I see more of him than my own dad.” He stopped where a narrow trail split off from the main one. “Follow me.”

The trail was barely wide enough to walk down; wet leaves brushed against our legs and soaked my pants. The farther we got from the trail, the denser the forest became, with blackberry brambles filling the undergrowth, and ivy crawling up the trunks of some of the trees.

We finally came to an old log stretched like a bridge across a spot in the trail. Yards below, a tiny stream flowed at the bottom of a steep ravine. The log was old and decaying, covered with bright green moss. Cam walked across the log and then turned around to extend his hand.

“Are you coming?”

“Um, I’m not sure I’m crazy about walking across wet, slippery logs,” I said, only half joking.

Cam’s shoulders relaxed just a hair, and he gave me a tiny smile. “Dancia the brave, scared to walk across a little log? No way.”

I put my hands on my hips. “Are you making fun of me?”

He nodded soberly. “Absolutely.”

“Well, in that case.” I walked closer to the log and extended my arm, wiggling my fingers imperiously. “You’d better hold my hand, tough guy.”

He took a step toward me and then started to lose his balance. He wobbled, caught himself, and flashed a genuine grin. “Maybe I spoke too soon. It is a bit wetter than usual.”

Giggling, I stepped forward and grabbed his hand. We made our way, unsteadily, until we were almost across the log. But then he hit the same slippery spot he had hit before, and tipped to the left and then to the right. This knocked me off balance, and with a shriek, I pitched forward, right into his arms.

He took two quick steps back, lost his footing, and slid into a puddle of mud at the other end. I landed on top of him. We burst out laughing.

He held me in his arms for a minute, and we lay there in the mud puddle, smiling. Part of me was desperately hoping something more might happen—I mean, if he did like me, wasn’t this the absolute perfect place to kiss?—but the other part just hoped the moment would never end. His body was warm and strong, with big muscles and arms that enfolded me. I realized I’d never been hugged by someone quite so much bigger than me before, and it made me feel safe and protected.

“Is this where you were headed?” I asked.

“Not exactly,” Cam said ruefully.

“Not that it isn’t nice,” I said. “I mean, it’s a great mud puddle and all.”

Cam laughed. “You’re a good sport, Dancia. I’m sorry for dragging you out here.”

“It’s okay,” I said. I could feel his heart beating under my cheek, and wanted to bury my face in his chest. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

Cam was silent, and I started to panic, thinking maybe I’d said the wrong thing by calling us friends. But then he put his hands underneath him and raised his body to a sitting position. Reluctantly, I did the same, and we separated, untangling our bodies so we were sitting in the mud, a few feet apart.

Cam looked at me intently. “It’s funny, you know? When I got that call from my dad, the first person I wanted to talk to about it was you.”

“Really? Me?”

He punched me on the shoulder. “Yes, you. You’re so honest, Dancia. I feel like I don’t have to pretend when I’m with you. I can just be myself. Everyone else around here expects so much from me. But you—well, I feel like you just want me to be me.”

“Cam, you’re an amazing guy. How could anyone except you to be more than that?”

He looked away, a muscle twitching in his cheek. “It’s complicated. I can’t really explain.”

“Try.”

“Well, Mr. Judan, for one. I owe him so much, but sometimes …” He extended his hands helplessly.

“Mr. Judan?” I was having a hard time following him, but I had the feeling he needed to talk.

“Yeah. He’s always there for me. He gives me a job over the summers, he lets me stay at school for vacations. And he’s there to talk to. I know some people think he’s weird, but he’s actually really great when you need to unload.”

I couldn’t imagine talking to Mr. Judan, but I figured Cam didn’t need to hear that right now. “But he expects a lot from you?”

“He just always expects me to do the right thing. You know, the Delcroix Pledge and all that.”

“He takes that seriously?”

Cam nodded. “You can’t imagine.”

“Wow,” I said slowly. “I had no idea.”

He stood up and laughed, though it sounded forced. “Enough of that. Are you getting cold? We can go back to school if you want.”

I would jump into the Arctic Ocean with ice cubes strapped between my toes if Cam were with me.

“No, I’m fine.”

“Then let’s go.”

Cam’s “spot” in the woods was an old evergreen with low branches that you could easily climb. I followed Cam fifteen or twenty feet up the tree before I got freaked out and had to stop. He kept climbing another ten feet above me to a branch that looked barely thick enough to support his weight. He said it gave him a great view of the school and Mount Rainier on a sunny day. We sat there in the tree, not talking, and let the rain mist on our foreheads as we looked up at the sky. It was peaceful and quiet, and when we climbed back down, Cam seemed to have lost his anger. We joked and laughed as we walked back to school.

Meanwhile, I had lost whatever objectivity and control I once had.

I was now totally and completely in love.

FROM THERE
on out, my infatuation with Cam eclipsed all rational thought. I forgot about Jack, Delcroix’s weirdness, talents, and gates. All I could think of was Cam.

I figured out his schedule and “happened” to be walking by his classes when they got out. I found his locker and hovered around the corner in the morning, hoping I’d see him before first period. I even found myself hanging around the second-floor stairwell in the Res, in the hope that he might appear on the way to breakfast or dinner. And when he touched me? Even if it was a casual hug or accidental bump with his arm, forget about being able to concentrate for the rest of the day.

The frustrating thing was, nothing seemed to change. We got to be great friends, but there was always something separating us. I knew I was special to him, and I knew he cared about me. But I had the painful, horrible feeling that it was only as a friend.

“Well, TGIF, right?” Esther said as we filed onto the Silver Bullet. It was the middle of November, and we were bundled up in thick fleece coats and rain gear. The windows of the bus fogged as we drove down from the school, and we had to wipe them clear to see the cold, gray landscape outside. Parents waved at their kids as soon as they saw them, and ushered them into waiting cars.

I nodded. “Yeah. Thank goodness we can finally sleep in for a couple of days. Though Grandma said there was some early morning sale at the mall Saturday, and she’s determined to drag me along.”

Esther and Hennie groaned sympathetically.

Hennie perked up as a beautiful dark-haired woman waved from across the parking lot. “There’s my mom. I better go. See you guys later!” She gave Esther and me hugs, then ran off toward an enormous silver SUV.

Esther spotted her dad’s car. “Listen, you should call me tonight. We can talk about the next step in getting Hennie and Yashir together. I think the holiday dance is our best bet.”

So far we’d managed to introduce them and even get them in the same room together a few times, but that’s about as far as it went. Hennie still could barely put two sentences together when Yashir talked to her. For a girl who could practically read minds, Hennie seemed to have no idea how cute Yashir thought she was.

“Sure, I’ll call you.” I tried to muster a convincing smile. Leaving Delcroix for the weekend was always a little depressing. Even though I missed Grandma during the week, and worried about her being by herself, my days at Delcroix were such an intense mix of good and bad that it felt weird to just spend the weekend sitting around the house, studying and listening to music. I also couldn’t shake the nagging fear that one of these weekends, Jack was going to leave school and never come back.

Most of all, I hated being away from Cam, even for a couple of days.

“Are you okay?” Esther cocked her head to one side and studied my face. “Can we give you a ride somewhere?”

“Grandma will be here in a little bit. She had an errand she needed to run. I’ll be fine.”

This was a blatant lie. Actually, Grandma had left a message with the office that I would have to take the bus home, because her doctor had rescheduled her appointment. But I hated to always be asking for favors from Esther. She already lent me her cell phone on a regular basis so I could call Grandma.

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Esther looked between me and her father’s car.

“I’m sure. You should go.” I pushed her gently in the direction of her dad. She looked reluctant, so I pushed a little harder. “Esther! I’ve lived in Danville all my life, you know. We’re barely three miles away from my house.”

An arm emerged from the car and motioned toward Esther. “My dad wants to take off, otherwise I would stay, I swear,” she said.

“Esther, you’re being ridiculous. I’ll see you on Monday!” I gave her my biggest smile, and she finally ran away.

The parking lot emptied one car at a time. I hitched my backpack higher on my shoulder and started to walk toward the opening in the fence that led to the highway. I kicked a few stones as I walked, hoping everyone would be gone before I went to stand by the bus stop, which was about a hundred yards down the road.

It was a stupid thought, but I couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to have parents to pick me up. Would I tell them about my power? Would I talk to them about Cam?

A few cars lingered in the parking lot, but my gaze landed on an old black one with a dent in the door and a tall kid standing next to it. Jack, of course. He was talking to Alessandro and Allie.

He leaned against the car with his usual lazy posture. He looked up and caught my eye. I gave a quick wave and then kept walking.

Two more cars entered the parking lot as the last few stragglers emptied out. They drove past me toward the kids at the back of the lot. A minute later I heard Alessandro and Allie greeting their parents, then saying their good-byes to each other.

“Call me later?” Allie said, more as a statement than a question. Even her voice was cute. No one answered, but I had a feeling Jack was nodding. The car doors slammed, and then the wheels crunched slowly. The cars pulled alongside me as I neared the mouth of the parking lot.

Allie leaned out of her window. “Do you need a ride somewhere?”

“No, thanks.” I waved. “I’m meeting someone in a few minutes.”

“Okay, see you Monday.” Allie gave me one of her cheerleader smiles. Her mom, who shared Allie’s thick brown hair and blue eyes, shot me the same smile.

They pulled out a second later, followed by Alessandro. I took a quick look around to confirm that I was alone. Or, almost alone. The black car cruised to the mouth of the lot, stopped, and then backed up to my side.

Jack leaned across the passenger seat and rolled down the window. “Hey, where you headed? Out for a hot date?”

“Right. Me and Friday night are a crazy combination.”

“I figured. Where’s your Prince Charming?”

“He’s not my Prince Charming, and how should I know where he is?” Lately, Jack had taken to making fun of how much time I spent with Cam. It bothered me because I felt guilty for avoiding him when Cam was around. But part of me also liked it, because I figured if Jack noticed and thought we were together, then other people—like Anna—might have as well.

“If you say so.”

I kept walking. Jack’s car trailed slowly behind me.

“What are you doing driving?” I asked. “You aren’t sixteen.”

“I have a license that says I am.”

I shook my head. “You really are a delinquent.”

“It’s not a big deal. My friend was headed out to Seattle for the weekend with some of his buddies, and he knew I’d appreciate the wheels, so he dropped off the car for me to use.”

“And the license?”

“Where’s Grandma?” He avoided my question.

“She’s got a doctor’s appointment.”

“Why don’t you let me give you a ride home? I don’t think there’s a bus for another twenty minutes, and those clouds look nasty.”

I had to admit the thought of standing by the road in a downpour wasn’t appealing. Highway 78 was the truck route through Danville—not exactly a scenic place to spend a Friday afternoon, and a veritable wind tunnel when the trucks came through. “I probably shouldn’t.”

“Grandma wouldn’t want me to leave you here. Not a sweet boy like me.” He threw a handful of fast food wrappers and newspapers into the back of the car and gestured toward the passenger seat. “It’s only a couple of miles. Come on.”

“Well, I guess if you put it that way.” I walked up to the door and pulled on the handle. I had to give it a hard jerk before it opened. The seat was shiny black plastic with a few rips. There was an impressive amount of garbage on the floor and around the seats. I cleared a spot for myself and my backpack, and sat down gingerly. “Nice car.”

“Thanks,” he drawled.

I stared at his profile. There were times when I looked in Jack’s eyes and saw something dark and bleak hidden there. Maybe it was the same thing Hennie saw. It made him look lost and sad, and every time I saw it I got angry at his mom and all the people who should have been around to take care of him but weren’t.

I laid my head against the headrest and closed my eyes. Suddenly I couldn’t wait to be home.

“So do you think I’ll ever get invited over for dinner again? Or have you decided Prince Charming wouldn’t like that, just like he doesn’t want you to talk to me at school anymore?”

The attack caught me off guard. I kept my eyes closed and fought a wave of panic. “What do you mean?”

“Look, I’d have to be an idiot not to see how you try to avoid me, Dancia. At least when other people are around. And it’s not hard to figure out why.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just get busy. You’re not my only friend, you know.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he said, waving a tired hand. “It’s way too obvious.”

“I’m not lying,” I insisted.

“Danny.” His voice was quiet. “I thought we were better than that. I thought we weren’t like the rest of them.”

I guess I was feeling a little defensive, or guilty, or both, because what came out of my mouth next was totally unexpected. “What happened at the wall, then? If we’re so honest with each other, why don’t you tell me what happened at the wall?”

I regretted the words instantly. I was past that. Nothing happened at the wall. Nothing special, anyway.

He glanced into the rearview mirror. “I helped you over.”

“I figured that—”

“Have you noticed that tan car, two blocks back?”

I sat up straighter in the seat and started to turn around. He shook his head quickly. “No, don’t turn around. Look in your mirror. See the tan car?”

There was a nondescript sedan, maybe a Buick, at a stop sign two blocks behind us. “Sure, I see it.”

“Watch this.” Jack slammed on the accelerator and turned a quick left. After sailing through the next two intersections, he dropped down to a crawl. Seconds later, the Buick’s tires squealed as it rounded the same corner. It slowed abruptly and remained a safe distance behind.

Jack repeated the move several more times—speeding up to take a turn, then crawling slowly down the next couple of blocks. Each time he did, the tan car would appear a minute later, fast then slow, lingering at intersections and never getting too close. I doubt I would have noticed if Jack hadn’t pointed it out.

“What’s going on?” I asked, my knuckles white around the door handle. Though I tried not to think about it, I couldn’t help but notice that the tan Buick looked like the car I thought I had seen following Grandma and me after Halloween.

Jack roared through the next two stop signs like they weren’t there, pulled two quick rights and then a U-turn, and sped down a one-way street. We ended up a few blocks from my house. He pulled the car to a stop and ran his fingers through his hair. His hands were shaking.

“Are you all right?” I asked.

He blew out a breath and knocked the steering wheel with a fist. “I hate when they follow me.”

The barely restrained violence rolled off him in waves.

“Maybe it was a coincidence,” I said.

He laughed—a flat sound that had no hint of amusement. “Right.” He paused and then said, “I should take you home. They’ll be waiting for us there anyway. I don’t know why I bother.”

We drove the last few blocks in silence. I looked up and down the street apprehensively, but didn’t see any tan Buicks. Jack threw his car into park and gazed straight ahead.

“Do you want to hang out for a minute?” I was crazy to ask, but there was a white line around his lips, and his hands kept shaking as he clenched and unclenched them on the steering wheel.

He blew out another breath. “Are you sure you want me to?” His eyes had turned from gray to silver.

I wasn’t sure, but didn’t think I could back down now. “Grandma will be home soon. We can sit on the porch until she gets here.” I tried to make it sound like that was Grandma’s rule and not just me being terrified to let him in the house.

He nodded.

We walked up to the porch. I sat on the bench, but Jack paced in front of me. Every now and again he punched a clenched fist into his open palm. The silence between us grew, and I didn’t know how to break it. Jack looked as though he were wrestling with something—something he either wanted to say or didn’t want to say. Something serious.

Finally he spun around and fixed me with a silvery stare. “I was in jail. A couple of years ago.”

“Oh,” I whispered.

“It was a juvenile detention center. I was thirteen, running with a gang in Portland that stole cars. They put me in for a few months, and then I did a year’s probation. My mom showed up for the trial and pretended like we were living together. She never wanted to go through the hassle of putting me in foster care. I knew she didn’t want me around, so I didn’t go home much. When I was on probation I had to check in with her and my probation officer all the time, keep up my attendance at their stupid school. It sucked. I couldn’t go anywhere without someone knowing where I was.”

He paced up and down the porch, and I watched, barely breathing, not wanting to interrupt the flow of his words. “Is that why you hate being followed so much?”

“I suppose.” He dropped onto the bench beside me. “When I was really little, it was my dad who was following us. I’m not sure which is worse—the guys from Delcroix or him.”

My stomach dropped. “Why was your dad following you?”

“He wasn’t a very nice guy. My mom tried to avoid him for years, but he always found us.”

“Oh.” From what I remembered, Tom Landry had always seemed nice enough. Kind of quiet. They always said those were the ones you had to look out for.

“Shit.” Jack ran his fingers through his hair. “It just pisses me off, that’s all.”

“Do you still …” I tried to picture thirteen-year-old Jack stealing a car. “I mean, how could you steal things? Weren’t you scared you’d get caught? Didn’t it seem wrong?”

“I did get caught.” He stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets. “And no, it didn’t seem wrong. It still doesn’t. The way I figure it, I got a bum deal in life. I got a shitty dad who beat me up, a junkie for a mom, and some weird powers that make them both hate me. If I have to help myself to a little of what other people have, I figure I deserve it.”