The Care and Feeding of Your Captive Earl (What Happens In Scotland Book 3) (18 page)

Her heart leapt into her throat. All evening, she had rehearsed what she would say to him—down to the tone of her voice, and the expression on her face. But seeing him now, in the flesh, left her flustered and uncertain.

“Good evening, wife.” He tossed his jacket onto the bed and turned to her with a smile. “I expected you to be asleep. Dare I hope you waited up for me?”

She closed her book, placed it on the round mahogany table beside her, and stood. “I confess I did. There is something I must discuss with you,” she said solemnly.

Matthias laughed, stepped forward and kissed her on the forehead. “That sounds quite dire,” he said. “Don’t tell me Mrs. Reid has been caught with a footman.”

“No, heavens,” Gwen said. “Nothing quite so simple, I’m afraid. I had a caller this evening.”

He sat on the edge of the bed and removed his boots. “If your father set foot in this house, there will be hell to pay.”

“It wasn’t my father,” she said. “It was Katherine.”

His boot fell with a heavy
thud
onto the carpet, his playful tone gone. “She came to see you?”

“Yes.”

Matthias’s head fell and he cursed beneath his breath. “I made it very plain she was never to contact you.”

“Clearly she did not obey your decree. She knew you would be away at your club, and took the opportunity to call.”

“Christ.”
He stood and moved to stand in front of her. “You must not believe anything she has told you.”

“Give me one reason why I should not.”

“You don’t know Katherine. She is determined and has few scruples. She does not hesitate to grasp at what she wants, no matter the cost.”

Gwen blinked, absorbing his words. She could see that about Katherine. The determination in her eyes would be quite plain to anyone who observed her. One thing was quite clear—she was not a woman to be trifled with.

“She said you are in love with her.”

He laughed under his breath, the sound completely devoid of amusement. “She knows nothing of my affections. She knows nothing of
me,
Gwen.”

“She is heavy with your child,” Gwen said, the anger inside her building.

He raked a hand through his hair. “Yes, she informed me.”

Dear God, it was true. Pain twisted inside her chest. Just hearing him confirm the horrid truth made Gwen want to melt to the floor and weep—it was only her fury kept her upright.

Swallowing back the tears, she glanced up at him. “You lied to me, Matthias. Why didn’t you tell me about the child, or that you intend to set her up in a town house not ten blocks away?”

She already knew the answers, of course. He loved Katherine and he wished to protect her and their child.

“There is much about her story that I question. I simply wished to puzzle out the truth before enlightening you.”

“Your mistress has fallen pregnant. It’s quite simple, Matthias. What more is there to puzzle out?”

He took a step forward, reaching for her. “Gwen, please.”

“No.” She jerked away, just out of his reach. “Do not attempt to placate me. It is good that I know the truth—that way there are no illusions between us. I should thank Katherine for that.”

Men like Matthias did not change. The love of a woman did not miraculously alter a gentleman’s character, and she was foolish to believe it ever would.

“There is nothing more between Katherine and me,” he said.

Gwen shook her head. “That is no longer of consequence.” She drew in a stuttering breath, determined to rein in her emotions. She would steel herself. “I am your wife and there is nothing either of us can do to alter that fact. But I will not live in the shadow of your countless conquests and possible bastards. I will not allow myself to be humiliated. I value myself far too much for that.”

Thoughts of her mother, weeping and miserable after discovering her father’s latest indiscretion, flickered through her mind. She would not do that to herself. She would not be that woman.

“Gwen, listen to me.” He reached for her again, this time catching her by the shoulders. “This business with Katherine has no influence over my affections for you. You are my
wife
and I do not intend to stray from our marriage bed.”

He did not
intend
to stray. What a comfort. “I believed we were equals, Matthias. And yet you concealed the truth from me.” She swallowed. “In truth, the fault is mine. Some would say it is a man’s nature to deceive and philander. I should have heeded my own intuition.”

“I only wished to protect you.”

Gwen shook her head. She didn’t believe that. He had only been interested in himself, in protecting his secret. There was no thought of how his duplicity might affect her, or how it might vitiate the trust between them.

“I do not need your protection,” she spat. “I am more than capable of taking care of myself.”

His strong hands tightened around her shoulders. “Gwendolyn. Please see reason.”

With her hand pressed against his chest, she broke away. His arms fell limply at his sides, his beautiful face drawn and ashen.

“Reason is all I
can
see, Matthias.”

“I cannot lose you, Gwen.”

Those words struck her in the chest, piecing her like a knife. This was precisely why she must walk away. She was weak, and Matthias made her even more vulnerable. She had to remain strong—even if it killed her inside.

She lifted her chin, her gaze locking with his. “You already have.”

* * *

Matthias stared into Gwen’s eyes, and couldn’t help feeling as though he were falling off a steep cliff—with no conceivable way to stop it. Loss of control was not something he was familiar with, and he detested the feeling. Everything inside him fought against it.

“Tell me what to do, Gwen. Tell me how to remedy this.”

She shook her head, her gaze falling to the floor. “I just…I need some time.”

Time?
How in hell would time rectify any of this? Time only caused wounds to fester. Nothing good ever came from delay. One must act. That was the surest way to success.

“And what will time accomplish that speaking to me now will not?”

She closed her eyes briefly before glancing back up at him. “Matthias, I cannot do this.”

“What are you saying?”

If there was one thing he knew about Gwen, it was that she had more determination than any other woman of his acquaintance—save for Katherine.

Shaking her head, her throat moved as she swallowed. “We were a disastrous prospect from the beginning. We were mad to believe we could have ever been happy as husband and wife.”

Matthias turned on his heel and began pacing the room. He needed to find a way around this obstacle—and there was a way. He just needed to puzzle it out.

The fact was: Gwen was his, and there was no question of her
doing this
or not.

“You are my damned
wife,
Gwen,” he snapped—thrusting his fist into the wall. Pain stung his knuckles, but he shook it off. “A fact not even God himself can deny.”

Fear lit in her eyes and for a brief instant he regretted his harshness. He took a step toward her and she stumbled backward, her hands coming up to shield her face as though he she expected him to strike her.

Cursing under his breath, he reached for her, tugging her against him. “Gwen, you must know I would never hurt you.”

Dear God,
he’d drain his veins dry before ever laying a finger on her. He’d never touched a woman in anger and never would—no matter the provocation.

Twisting out of his grip, she shook her head. “I am tired. I wish to go to bed.”

Yes, perhaps it would be better to revisit this conversation in the morning—when emotions had cooled and reason could reign.

“Yes, perhaps we would both benefit from a night’s rest.”

With her head turned away, she said, “I wish to sleep alone tonight.”

Every muscle in his body reacted, stiffening in anger and frustration. How could he ford this yawning gulf between them when they were sleeping in separate beds?

Deciding not to push her further, he nodded. “I will sleep in my room tonight. But Gwen, this conversation is not over.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Gwen hadn’t slept a wink. When the sun rose over the horizon, she was already dressed. Last night, before retiring, she’d asked Mrs. Reid to return before first light.

She’d dressed quickly in a white linen morning gown with a sheer, long-sleeved overdress and a simple gold necklace. Mrs. Reid was not as skilled in dressing hair as a proper lady’s maid might be, but her efforts were fair. She gathered Gwen’s hair up into a loose knot, freeing the tendrils at her temples. The result was quite pretty.

“The carriage has been brought around. It is waiting for you on the curb.”

Gwen glanced up at Mrs. Reid and forced a smile. “Thank you.” She picked up a note she’d written Matthias at some point during the long night. “See that his lordship gets this when he awakens.”

“Of course, my lady.”

The driver met her outside on the curb, opening the door and holding out his hand to help her mount the carriage steps.

“Where to, my lady?”

“The Duke of Arlington’s residence.”

He touched the brim of his hat and shut the carriage door behind her. When the rig jolted into motion, she expected to feel relief. But the farther she traveled from Matthias, the heavier her heart felt. He would wake to find her gone…with only a short note to explain her reasons. He wouldn’t understand and perhaps he would think her cowardly. But in truth, she didn’t know what else to do.

Remaining under the same roof as Matthias would be torment. To be so near him, but to know he was beginning a life with another woman, would be far too much to bear. Gwen could not be his wife in name and title only—she already cared too deeply for him. Resentment would fester within her, and she would become a shrill, hateful woman. Just like her mother.

Minutes later, the carriage halted just in front of the beautiful whitewashed façade of the Arlington house. The driver came around, opened the door and helped Gwen alight.

“There is no need to wait,” she said. “You may return to the house.”

“Yes, my lady.”

As Gwen walked up the front steps, the door swung open to reveal Arlington’s butler, Benson. “Lady Hastings,” he said, instantly admitting her.

She stepped into the foyer and several barking dogs rushed into the room clearly having sensed her intrusion. It was a new sight in the Alexander household, but a welcome one. The new duchess had a soft spot for abandoned animals and had established her own animal refuge.

“Benson,” she breathed, fending off several tongues and wet noses. “Apologies for arriving so early. Is Evelyn at home?”

He bowed stiffly. “If you would wait here.”

While she waited, she petted all the eager creatures vying for her attention. Some feet away, there was a pretty little three-legged spaniel looking on intently yet cautiously.

“Well, aren’t you a sweet little lady?”

Gwen approached, crouching in front of the precious little thing. Though she was missing her front right leg, she stood regally, her nose twitching slightly.

“Gwen?”

Gwen stood, looking up to see Evelyn rushing down the staircase, the hem of her nightgown floating around her shins. She threw her arms around Gwen. She pulled back and took in Gwen’s appearance. “Are you well? What has brought you here so early? The sun has scarcely begun to rise.”

Gwen was comforted to see Evelyn after so long an absence. She hugged her friend warmly. “It’s an extraordinarily long story, I’m afraid.”

Evelyn nodded. “Yes, we have quite a bit to catch up on, don’t we?” She turned to Benson. “Please ask Mrs. Meek to have a tray brought up.”

Benson said nothing, bowed again and disappeared from the foyer. Evelyn took Gwen’s hand and guided her upstairs to her bedchamber—followed by the sweet little spaniel.

“I think she likes you.” Evelyn laughed, waiting for the dog to enter before shutting the door behind her. “Pippa found her wandering the street a fortnight past. She hasn’t taken to anyone.”

Gwen removed her gloves and crouched to pet her. “You look like a ‘Lady’ to me. Perhaps that shall be your new name.”

Lady did not approve or disapprove, but simply stared intently as Gwen rose and plopped onto the bed with a sigh.

“Now.” Evelyn sat on her vanity bench and focused all her of attention on Gwen. “Tell me everything.”

With a deep breath, she launched into the events that had transpired after she’d kidnapped Matthias. As she recounted every detail, Evelyn listened with wide eyes, clutching the delicate cloth of her nightgown.

“Dear God, you and Matthias are
married?
”

“The announcement is in this morning’s paper.”

Evelyn shook her head in disbelief. “I can scarcely believe it.”

“Yes, I know. It was quite a shock to me as well.” Gwen untied her bonnet and placed it on the mattress beside her. “But I do not believe Matthias is suited to married life. Indeed, he is a damned bastard.”

She recounted Katherine’s visit and the woman’s ominous declaration that she was already heavy with his child, that they would soon be a family. Just remembering the woman’s words made Gwen’s heart constrict with renewed pain.

Evelyn’s expression grew dark. “Katherine Grant is a scheming, unfeeling wench. Within a fortnight of her husband dying, she was already setting her cap at Matthias. She has always been thirsty for affluence. I daresay her attachment to Matthias is not genuine.”

“And yet, it does not signify. She is with child.”

“Many gentlemen in our circle have by-blows. Should that be an impediment to your and Mathias’s happiness?”

Gwen eyed Evelyn skeptically. “Would you be so forgiving if you were to discover your husband had an illegitimate child—and that the child’s mother had every intention of securing his affections?”

Evelyn deflated. “Perhaps you are right. What do you plan to do?”

Gwen shrugged helplessly. “I have only one remedy within my reach. I must estrange myself from him.”

“Perhaps an annulment is possible. My brother—”