The Castle Cross the Magnet Carter (29 page)

 

3

Sundays at two everybody walkin the south side. Me an Marietta an Henry Lee walk the north.

Ah! early spring's my favorite. March has such a nice crispness to it, like the last bit of sparkling dew before the dawn.

Ooolg, says Henry Lee in his wheelchair.

Had to run some errands yesterday, happened to drive by the school at recess. All those white children running around, screaming and laughing. Well, they staved it off another season. Integration. It won't last forever.

Ooolg.

Five years now. Do you realize that? Five years since integration went nationwide
with all deliberate speed,
said the Supreme Court, well. The South certainly has its way of interpreting that.

A little girl on the south side starin at Henry Lee till her ma smack her, drag her by fast. We hit a bump in the sidewalk.

Sorry, Henry Lee.

September come, I bet the federals crack down. The Negro children brought in, English together with the white kids, phys ed together with the white kids.

A good thing?

Yes. Yes, Randall, I believe it is a good thing. Remember Sally's son Roger? What a bright boy! Why couldn't he sit next to Henry Lee and you in class, take advantage of all the white school had to offer? Once I asked Sally what she thought about things. Separate but equal. Her answer surprised me. She said she'd be just fine with it if separate
was
equal, but it never is. I never forgot that!

Ooolg.

We reach the corner an turn aroun. Our walks with Henry Lee never cross the street. From the east corner to the west corner, from the west corner to the east.

So what do you think? Desegregation.

I shrug. I don't see this town changin.

But it will. Nineteen sixty now, Randall, late in the day! Eventually we'll be asked to adhere to the law.

Then I'll adhere to the law. Sorry, Henry Lee.

Randall, all these years on this walk, you hit that bump every time! But she smilin, glad wunst a week have someone else push his wheelchair, somebody else to talk to.

Hey Frankenstein! Some teenage boys on the south side, laughin.

All the choices in the world, what makes a fifteen-year-old boy drop out and join the army? One little growth spurt enough for him to claim eighteen and for those bastards at the draft board to pretend they believe it. A fifteen-year-old does not imagine that he'll come home with no legs, half a face, half a brain, the induction officers did not mention that when he signed the dotted line. A boy enlisting, the farthest his foresight may go is to think he'll either die there or come home fine, never considering what's worse is in between.

Woman walkin toward us with a baby carriage. She don't see us, stooped over, coverin up the baby. Or cooin to the baby.

He should be married now. He should be married and me a grandmother. Oh I'm sorry, Randall!

It's okay.

This last one didn't take either?

It's okay. Not everybody meant to be parents.

That's true, but if you want to be. I mean there are so many abandoned children in the orphanages—

The young mother look up see us, cuttin off Marietta's thought. Then the young mother cross the street.

You go ahead!
Damn you all,
stay
on the other side! He's a war hero! You were fine when he was there fighting for your freedom, a war hero!

Mother with the baby walkin head up like she ain't even heard Marietta yellin, like we on that TV show, what's it called? Some fourth dimension, us unheard unseen by other humans. Cep teenage boys.

Marietta stoop in fronta Henry Lee. Well, my son. Have you had your exercise for the day?

He say somethin to her, move his hans everywhere.

You sure? she ask. It hit me:
Twilight Zone
. Name a that show. Then I speak: He need somethin?

She gazin at him, stands, shakes her head. Alright, let's go home. Which is two houses away. At the bottom a the porch steps I help her lift him up. How she do this when I ain't aroun?

Thank you, Randall.

I nod.

Visiting every Sunday. You're a good friend to Henry Lee. You always were.

He was a friend to me.

She nods.

He was just telling me, reiterating. She pause fore she go on. He would like you to have his train set. Could you come in and get his train set?

I look at her. I look at him.

I know, I don't understand myself. He enjoys it, looking at it. I turn it on and. Yesterday he told me. He said you'll take care of it, he said. He's been giving things away! One by one, like he knows, he—

Wisht I had a clean hanky to offer her but I already blown my nose on mine.

Henry Lee gonna be aroun a long time, Marietta.

It's hard. Hard for a mother. My only child.

Henry Lee gonna be aroun a long time.

In the basement me an him like the ole days, he tole his mother leave us alone. I don't like deprivin him of his train, but packin it up I ain't seen him so lively, not since he's a kid, puttin every piece in its special box, he already wrote on the boxes.
FREIGHT CARS
.
PASSENGER CARS
.
TRACK. AUTOMOBILES. PEOPLE. SIGNS/LIGHTS. HOUSES. BUILDINGS
.
His writin squiggly but readable. He fill a box an put it in my arms, then push the box into me liketa emphasize I'm to keep it. Henry Lee an I separate ways that lass year, him in high school ninth an me at the sawmill after the sawmill taken Pa. But summer before tenth Henry Lee signs with Uncle Sam, he ain't gone but ten weeks fore that grenade come flyin, itty thing he coulda held in his han lay out resta his life. I see how ginger Henry Lee be with them boxcars now an it spur on a memory a him always sayin he gonna hop the trains an my knee take to shakin.

Carryin it all require three trips back an forth his house to mine. Lass roun there Sally swayin thoughtful on the porch swing, on the floor beside her a big burlap bag fulla the lass boxes a train waitin for me. I ain't seen Sally in I don't know when. She only part-time now, an I don't usually go inside a Henry Lee's an she don't usually come out. Gray. Glasses. Few pounds thicker.

How you, Sally?

Fine. How you, Randall?

Fine.

I pick up the boxes, ready to go.

He turn out to be a nice man, didn't he?

Henry Lee?

Uh-huh.

Yes he did.

The swing creak soft.

Make me wonder if it all a bad side a the brain. Like there's a section reserved for meanness, prejudice. All us got it, but some of us use it more n others, Henry Lee made
good
use a his once. She sigh. He was a child. But maybe that parta his brain's the part that explosive shot off. Lotta other people roun here could use that kinda surgery.

I don't believe Sally really takes stock in the theory she's puttin forth. Still, the picture she holdin of it in her mind give her some faraway sweet sad smile.

 

4

When the lass time you come to a meetin?

Buppie with a cigar, some new fool thing he started recently. Sittin near the grill, Lily's yard. Few years back she started her own tradition: all the family at her house, Confederate Memorial Day.

I dunno, I tell him. Long days. Sip my beer.

We all got long days, we all tired. That on't stop rest of us.

I pay my dues.

Yeah you pay your dues.

Dusk. Over by the big oak I glimpse Benja's Aaron sittin alone, in the doghouse like regular. Lily at the picnic table with Deb Ellen, them two sisters havin an after-dinner smoke an the latter say somethin funny an they's both laughin. Even though she matronly rounder in Lily's smile I get a flash from when I was a kid, crush on my older cousin. Their mama come sit with em, Aunt Pearlie with that sad smile she pretty much been wearin since the war. Her oldest Jack they was all worried about, he come back unscathed but here Artie Ray, younger son signed up seventeen, killed in the Pacific three days before Hiroshima.

You know what's been goin on in this country. Integratin the schools everywhere else, how long till you think it come here?

I shake my head. Ain't no one gonna let that happen but no sense me tryin to tell that to Buppie once his mine's made up. Hard head.

Remember Little Rock? How they tried to stop it? An now the little niggers sittin right nex to white.

Confederate Memorial Day work out nice, April 26th fall on a Tuesday. By lucky coincidence this week I'm given Monday off an the whole mill closed today, two free in a row feel like some island vacation. Erma come out the house now, join the women at the picnic table.

You listenin, Randall?

When
is
the damn meetin?

Toldja. Sunday.

Yaw wanna slice a lemon meringue? My mother suddenly there, smilin. Hopeful.

That your homemade, ain't it, Aunt Bobbie?

Sure is.

That soun like a winner, I think I will.

Randall?

No thanks.

Lemon meringue! Your favorite.

No thanks.

She stan there a few seconds. Know she lookin at me but I ain't lookin at her.

Then she say, Yaw went to the cemetery today, Buppie?

Sure. You know Ursula's daddy past away November.

Yes, I sure was sorry to hear boutcher father-in-law. Randall an Erma come over this mornin. We cut roses off our bush, then us an B.J. gone up, lain em on Ben's grave. An your granmother. Didn't we, Randall?

Yep.

Can't believe how long since Uncle Ben gone.

You know, I got into an argument with Annabelle Maizy from church, sayin Decoration Day's only about them that served an died, like I'm some kinda blasphemer honorin my poor mother.

Way I was brung up not jus the soldiers. Ya honor
all
your dead loved ones.

That's what I told her! Oh Buppie the roses jus bloomed today! Didn't they, Randall? Prayin, prayin they be ripe for Decoration Day. An I looked out this mornin an there they was! Miracle!

I know she lookin at me, waitin for me to look back, smile at her miracle. I don't. She walks away.

Thurgood Marshall,
he's
the bastard. Remember him?

I shake my head.

You
ought
a remember him, he's that nigger lawyer from New York, one done it in the Supreme Court. Schools.

Somebody colored on the Supreme Court?

No
! Well not yet, who knows the way things're goin. He made the case
to
the Supreme Court.

Whatchu think the buyout mean.

The who?

I give him my eyes.

Oh. Buppie sigh. Guess I don't like to think about it. When some other company take over a mill, it don't usually mean cuz they wanna
expand
the employee roster.

I sip my beer, stare at my beer.

You been there a long time, Randall. Since you's a kid, me almost as long. Gonna be lass hired, firs fired, I think our positions is secure.

I ponder on that. I nod. I ponder on that.

But tell ya what. Come a day you need a job, plenty a businessmen in the Klan. An hirin time come, guess who they look to firs?

You wanna beer, Aaron?

No thanks, Randall.

Why you wanna call him over? Buppie tryin to whisper an bite my head off same time.

Lookin awful lonely over there all by his lonesome.

Like you care. Only reason you reach out to him is change the subject.

He a member too, ain't he.

Yeah, he could learn you a thing or two about commitment.

I take a swig.

Him an Benja on the outs again? Buppie still keepin his voice low.

When ain't they?

Here ya go, Buppie! Oh I didn't even ask if you wanted some ice cream with your slice.

You see this belly I'm growin, Aunt Bobbie? I think pie alone'll do me fine. Don't it look creamy.

You want some ice cream, Randall?

No thanks.

She jus standin there again. I look out in the direction a the park, swig a beer. Be able to see the fireworks from here, though they be tiny little pop stead of a big boom. Don't know why for but the honorable town council decided fireworks Memorial Day
an
Fourth this year. I take another swig. She walk back to the house.

Cut her a break.

I beg your pardon?

What happened? You an your mother use to be lovin.

I gently advise you to mine your own goddamn business.

It only happened once.

I look up an now here's Aaron.

It only happened once, he repeat, eyes on me.

Once what?

The skirt chasin. But your sister won't forget it. I was a dickaroun in the army, them nurses, WACs, but since comin out, jus that one girl that Julia. Benja don't belee me.

Lotta late nights.

Runnin from the screamin! Kids screamin,
her
screamin, I keep my pants up. Jus head for the bars,
you
seen me in the bars, ever notice I pick up some woman?
No.
Jus gettin out the house, away.

How bout that black eye she had?

Only happened once.

Aaron.

We all turn aroun hearin that voice. Benja an her stressed face. Come ere. Walkin off, soff talkin, I drain the lass bit a my Bud an my han already grabbin the bottle opener for the next.

I wanna suggest somethin. Buppie, not knowin when to let go of a subject. I'm gonna suggest somethin an might be you won't like it. Maybe logical why you ain't so worried bout the innegration a schools, seein as you an Erma don't seem to be contributin to the population a the school system any.

Buppie on his back so fass I don't even remember flippin him over outa that chair. Sorry! he say, palms up, surrender, Sorry!

Benja an Aaron run over. What happened! You okay? Aaron stoopin, in Buppie's face.

Whadju
do
, Randall? Benja say, an I storm off, away from em all. Jus fore I open the screen door to Lily's kitchen I turn aroun. Benja an Aaron's back to me, talkin to Buppie, him still on the groun, like me knockin him eight inches to the grass paralyzed him or somethin, an then there go Aaron's han gentle on her waist, an just a nudge she lean into him.

I slam the goddamn screen door. How long till that han aroun her waist ball into a fist smackin her jaw again? Yeah, black eye happen only once. An her broke tooth only once. Her broke ankle, arm. What make me go soff an offer the bastard a beer anyway? Him sittin all alone? Alone's where he oughta be!

Randall honey, you alright?

I storm past her, carryin aroun her goddamn lemon meringue. Maybe you oughta ask your nephew, he's the one flat on his back, I say without turnin to her an down the basement steps.

Big commotion sudden come to a stop, hearin my feet on them stairs. Must be twenty little boys, all some kinda who knows what kin to me, all wrasslin an laughin till my presence make em freeze.

Go ahead, I say, I ain't here. Swig a beer. They approach with caution, but forty-five seconds later all of em back in full swing. Distant
pop
. It's startin, they say, It's startin, stampedin me to fly upstairs out to the yard. Whoever planned it space em out maybe three a minute, hopin to stretch the light show to a good half-hour.

In the quiet I see framed on a shelf one a Lily's, high school football quarterback, the town star lass fall and too young to know those three months a glory prolly be the best a his entire life. On the shelf above: schoolbooks.
Organic Chemistry
.
Pop
go a firework. I open it, flip right to a chart take up two pages acrost: Periodic Table of the Elements. It ring a bell, I remember once I had some kinda curiosity about it. Riflin through I glimpse density an matter an atomic theory an balancin chemical equations an suddenly I wanna take it home, read it cover to cover! But it gotta be one a Lily's kids'. Put it back. Muss be somethin similar at the library. B.J. get to the library regular, I'ma start to too,
pop
.

Throw my empty bottle in the garbage, head on up the steps. Now Erma sittin where I'd been, Buppie still there, finally pulled hisself back up on the chair. No hard feelins, Buppie say, I overstepped, overstepped.
Pop
. Blue stars an green.

I go over by where the vehicles parked. Benja an Aaron somewheres near in the dark, laughin an kissin. I light a cigarette, sit on my truck's runnin board. B.J. lookin out at the works from inside, upstairs winda. Light in the bedroom he stand in make it easy to see him, but in the night imagine I'm invisible as Benja an Aaron. This solitude I like, no one see me, but boun not to last. Here come Erma.

I got an idea.

I take a puff.

I was jus talkin to Lily an Deb Ellen, an Deb Ellen said lass week she run into her ole friend Sandy Whiner in the market by the produce, Sandy Whiner who she went to school with an played ball with, now also married with children.

What I think but don't utter to Erma is contrary to her family tradition a quittin after sixt, Deb Ellen went to eighth where her an Sandy Whiner was the star girl athletes them lass two years an where her an Sandy got real tight, maybe
too
tight people said.

Well Sandy tells Deb Ellen they're startin the ladies' leagues, sofball. They don't start till middle a June, after school's out since most a the players are mothers. Aw Deb Ellen you
got
ta pitch, Sandy tells her. An Deb Ellen: How? an point to her overflowin shoppin cart, referrin to all her babies. Only once a week, only Wednesdays. The men's leagues take up all the fields over the weekends. An who gonna watch em? Deb Ellen asks.

Us! That's what I jus told her at the picnic table. Once a week, few times over the summer. We don't mind havin a little practice in our future parentin. Well Deb Ellen look at me not sure, say I oughta check in with you. She also say her an Calvin happy to pay: ten dollars a night. I say, No! But she insist.

I look at Erma's pleadin eyes. All eager, advertisin to the whole damn clan
WE ARE CHILDLESS
an her desperation not to be.

How Deb Ellen end up with that Calvin I'll never know. His own business, sellin swimmin pools to the rich, income ain't nothin they never worried about. Their eighth anniversary few months back somehow we end up babysittin their litter, Deb Ellen lookin all uncomfortable in her blue dress, seem like she only feel like herself in pants, an Calvin all in love, grinnin ear to ear. Their oldest seven an five behine that one. Enda the evenin look like some tornado gone through our livin room, little Deb Ellens tearin up everywhere.

On the other han ten bucks a week supplemental. An the mill buyout, whatever that mean.

Sure.

Aw, thanks honey! She gimme a big hug an kiss. I'll tell her! A louder bang an we both turn. Big purple an blue one.

He's right you know.

I turn back to her.

Buppie. Bout the school innergration. We need the Klan strong, solid if we gonna prevent it. Buppie said he also joined the White Citizens Council, every ammunition we got. You considered that? The White Citizens Council?

What else he say? Offer any specific theories about why he thinks I ain't been so committed as I oughta?

Everbody's tired, Randall, all the mill men got long hours.

I take a long puff, smoke flow out my nose.

Hey, B.J. lookin at the fireworks! I thought he was a-scared a the fireworks.

I shrug. He still don't like to go to the park. He feel the vibrations there, feel the explosions set the world movin.

How come he so spooked?

A dud make a harsh bang even this far from the park an me an Erma flinch. B.J. stare, don't stir.

He was little, some kids. He thought they was bein friendly. Put firecrackers on his shoulders. Lit em, burned him.

Erma turn to me, starin wild a minute fore she speak, eyes all shiny. I
hate
kids! No,
parents
!
They
trained em. Nut don't fall far!

A cricket right on the groun in fronta us. Thirty-two I turned week an a half ago an still can't help but smile: good luck. So I near most fall off the runnin board when Erma stomp it, smash it dead.

Why God give all the fertility to them prolly couldn't raise a puppy proper, let alone a child!

My mother comes to the winda, puts her arm aroun B.J., kisses him, then look right at us, her mouth wide open in some fake surprise while it obvious she come jus for the opportunity for me to see her. So guess I ain't so invisible. Why she always after me anyway? She points in Erma's an my direction for B.J., who squints, tryin to make us out, then start wavin big, like we all some long-loss friends. Erma wave back smilin, wipin her tears.

See yer ma, Randall? An B.J.? Your brother sure loves his family!

Big bang. Some a them thousands a cousins got home works, a red-orange sizzler right in the yard, an B.J. jump, back away from the winda, I know he wanna go home. But steel hisself to stay. In the ole days she be givin him a little comfort hug round about now, but grown man, guess he old for that. An somethin else. Occurs to me for the firs time he ain't her favorite no more. What I hoped for my whole life I got an till now didn't see it, I moved into my mother's favored position jus by no longer bein interested in it.