Authors: Mariah Stewart
“This is no world for a young man like him to be running around in. It’s dangerous.”
Brooke nodded. How many times had she had that conversation with Eric? How many times had she asked him to make
this
trip his last one?
“I’m so sorry, dear. How insensitive of me.” Grace’s eyes clouded with concern. “I know you’ve suffered a terrible loss.”
“It’s all right, Grace. And of course I understand why you’d be worried about your son. Who wouldn’t be?”
“Ford’s been lucky so far, but I’m afraid that one of these days, he’s going to run out of luck. He’s always in the midst of things, it seems.”
“That’s his job,” Brooke reminded her, painfully aware of just what such a job demanded. “The UN Peacekeepers go where they’re most needed, and that’s always going to be right smack in the middle of, well,
things.
”
“I worry about that boy every day,” Grace said softly. “He always ends up in the most godforsaken places. It’s always where there are civil wars and uprisings …” Her voice trailed off.
“He’s doing what he believes in, though, right? Doing something important, something that can have a lasting effect for the good of the lives of people he doesn’t even know. I’d have to think that you were a very good mother to have produced a son who is so selfless that he’s willing to put his own comfort aside for the sake of other people.” At the last minute, Brooke had stopped herself from adding,
And of course he’s putting his own life on the line
. She was sure
Grace knew that part and didn’t need to be reminded. No more than she had needed to be reminded when Eric was in Iraq. Brooke, more than most, understood what dangers lurked in those “godforsaken places.”
“Ford was always a thoughtful boy.”
“And now he’s a thoughtful man and you can be proud of him.” Brooke finished her coffee, thinking about how she’d feel if it were Logan. She knew she’d be on the border of Lost It and Crazy every day.
“I
am
proud of him. I’m proud of all my children. I just wish I could have them all together for a while.”
“Well, maybe one of these days that will happen.” Brooke pushed back her chair and stood. “Maybe someday Ford will quit and come home and Lucy will decide to give up her L.A. job and take over at the inn.”
“A mother can dream.” Grace looked up. “Thank you, dear.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Now, where are you running off to? Do you have class this morning?”
“No. I’m meeting Frank at Krauser’s to go over the estimate for some work I’m having done on my brother’s old van. He said I could use it for my business, but it needs a tune-up and tires and God knows what all else. Plus, I’m having it painted.” Brooke reached into her bag. “Here’s how I want it to look.”
She laid her sketch on the table in front of Grace.
“Oh, my. Clay’s van, you say?” Grace’s glasses slid forward as she leaned over the drawing. “Does he know you’re doing this?”
“He said I could paint it however I wanted.” Brooke grinned. “That’s what I want.”
“Well, I can’t wait to see it.” Grace folded the paper and handed it back to Brooke. “I’m sure it’s going to be the talk of the town …”
“Mom, thanks for picking me up. It would have been a long walk home. Not that I couldn’t use the exercise,” Brooke hastened to add as she slid onto the passenger’s seat of her mother’s car. Brooke had driven the van to Krauser’s and left it there.
“You and me both,” her mother, Hannah, replied. “All those cupcakes we’ve been forced to sample.” She sighed heavily. “I suppose someone has to do it, though.”
“If you’re worried about your waistline, you could always let Clay do the sampling.”
“A mother never sends her children someplace she herself would not go,” Hannah said archly before breaking into a grin. “Besides, if you think I’m going to let him have all the fun, you’re crazy.”
“Glad you don’t mind pitching in.”
“Wouldn’t miss it.” Hannah put on her left turn signal and checked her mirrors before turning. “So when does Frank think the van will be ready?”
“He thought probably by Tuesday. I can’t wait to see it when he’s finished.” Brooke glanced out the window. “Mom, you missed the turn.”
“We’re not going right home.”
“Where are we going?”
“I want to show you something,” Hannah told her.
“Animal, vegetable, or mineral?”
“You’ll see in just a moment.”
After another left turn, a right, and another quick left, Hannah stopped the car in front of a short row of newly constructed town houses. The Realtor’s sign that stood on the newly sodded front lawn of the end unit boldly announced that the house had been sold.
Hannah turned to Brooke. “Let’s go inside for a quick tour.”
Without waiting for her daughter to reply, Hannah jumped out and waited for Brooke to join her on the sidewalk in front of the “Sold” sign. Puzzled, Brooke followed her to the front door, where Hannah took a key from her pocket and fitted it into the lock.
“Mom, why do you have the key? Are you going to sell real estate again? ’Cause if you are, you might note that this one has been sold.”
“I have the key because I bought it.” Hannah pushed the front door open and gestured for Brooke to enter.
Brooke remained frozen to the spot. “You bought it? You mean, you bought this house?”
Looking pleased with herself, Hannah nodded. “I did.”
“So it’s what, an investment? You’re going to rent it out? Maybe to tourists?” Brooke stepped inside and looked around. “Oh, nice. I like the way the bookshelves go all the way to the ceiling on either side of the fireplace.”
“No,” her mother said.
“You don’t like the bookcases?” Brooke frowned. “I suppose you could have them taken out, but—”
“No, I mean I didn’t buy it as an investment. I bought it to live in.”
“Live in? You mean you—”
“Don’t you love this kitchen?” Hannah’s voice trailed down the hall as she walked to the back of the house. “Look at the view of the Bay from back here. Do you know I’ve lived in St. Dennis all my life and I’ve never been able to see the Bay from my house? My bedroom upstairs has a wall of windows with this view.”
“You mean you’re moving out?” Brooke frowned. “Why would you move out? The farm is your home—”
“No, sweetheart, the farm is
Clay’s
home.” Hannah brushed sawdust from a counter and leaned on it. “It belongs to him.”
“Did he say something that made you feel that you weren’t welcome there?”
“Of course not. He’s been as generous letting me stay there as he has been with you and Logan.”
“Then I don’t understand.”
“Your father and I would have been married forty-five years come March, did you know that?” Hannah walked to the French doors that overlooked the backyard and opened and closed first one, then the other.
“I knew it was fortysomething coming up, yes.” Brooke wondered where this was going.
“I lived every day of my married life on that farm with him, until we retired and moved to Myrtle Beach, which, in retrospect, was probably not a good idea. I don’t think your father ever really adjusted to life off the farm. It was all he ever knew.”
“I thought he liked playing golf and the boating and all the other activities he got involved in.”
“He said he did, but I really think those activities were just a substitute for what he missed. It was
merely a means to keep moving. I don’t think he ever saw any of it as particularly useful.” Her mother relocked the doors and began to stroll around the kitchen, opening and closing the cabinets. “I’ve never had a new kitchen before. Or new bathrooms, for that matter. Oh, we did remodel a bit over the years, but I never lived in a new house, one where I got to pick out everything myself. I think I’m going to like it.”
Hannah opened a pair of louvered doors. “Pantry,” she told Brooke. “And there’s a laundry room right back—”
“I’m not following why you can’t stay at the farm. Is it just because you wanted a brand-new house?”
“I can’t live there without your father, Brooke. I see him everywhere I look. I hear Clay coming down the steps, and I think it’s Dave. Funny how Clay’s footfalls on the stairs sound so much like his father’s.” She turned to her daughter with tears in her eyes. “I just can’t live in that house, sweetie. After your dad died, and I stayed in Myrtle Beach for a few months alone, before you and Logan came to stay with me, I missed him terribly. But nothing like I do when I’m at the farm. He’s everywhere there. Our life together is everywhere.” She shook her head. “I just can’t live there without him, honey.”
“And here, in this new house …” Brooke went to her mother and took her hands.
“There’s no sound of him here. No memories except the ones I bring with me. The first time I walked in the front door I realized there was nothing of Dave here. In many ways, that saddened me more than I can say. But in others, it was a relief.”
“You think you’ll be all right with that? Alone here?”
“I think I will.” She looked around at the kitchen that would be all hers, then into the dining room, where the contractor had yet to hang the light fixture she’d picked out. “I’m hoping I’ll be able to sleep a little better at night, anyway.” She smiled wanly. “I figured it’s worth a try.”
“If it doesn’t work out—”
“Then I can rent it and move back to the farm, but I hope it doesn’t come to that. Clay is such a good sport, and he’d never say anything, but it has to be hell, living with his mother at his age. It has to be cramping his style something fierce.”
“Clay’s like Dad. All he thinks about is the farm. Besides, he’s lived there all this time, even when you and Dad lived there, and it didn’t bother him.”
“When your father was alive, before he retired and we moved, Clay lived in the tenant house. He lived there from the time he graduated from college until we turned the farm over to him. He didn’t move into the main house until we moved out. And I don’t expect Clay to be single forever.”
“He isn’t even dating anyone right now.”
“Hopefully, once I move out, he’ll be more inclined to find someone.” Hannah gave Brooke’s hands one last squeeze.
“I’m sorry. I never realized how hard it must be for you.” Brooke shook her head. “I, of all people, should have known …”
“Don’t be silly.” Hannah smoothed the hair back from her daughter’s forehead. “I don’t expect either of you to be a mind reader.”
“Still, we should have—”
“No, you shouldn’t.”
“Does Clay know? About this house?” Brooke asked.
“I told him at lunchtime.”
“What did he say?”
“Pretty much everything that you just said.”
“Are you sure that this is what you want?”
“This is exactly what I want. More importantly, it’s exactly what I need.” Hannah put an arm around Brooke. “Moving back to the farm was really just an attempt on my part to hold on to my old life. That really hasn’t worked out so well.” She shrugged. “So I figure it’s time to make a new life for myself. By myself.”
“When are you going to move?”
“As soon as the contractors finish up a few details and the Realtor gets the place cleaned. Probably no more than a week.”
“You’re sure you’re okay with this?”
“I’m more than okay. I’m looking forward to it.” Hannah took Brooke by the hand. “Come on, let me show you the upstairs. Wait till you see my bath …”
Her mother’s new bath was gorgeous. Her bedroom was everything anyone could want, with a huge walk-in closet and double doors leading to a small porch that looked out over the Bay. Hannah had opened the doors and a crisp breeze floated in, and Brooke had had to concede that the house was darned near perfect.
Hannah dropped Brooke off at the farm before heading off to her shop, which she had confided to Brooke she would probably be selling.
“I bought it because I was bored and wanted something to do. Buying this new place for myself has energized me and I don’t feel I need to think up ways to keep myself busy anymore,” Hannah had said. “Know anyone who wants to buy a shop that sells fun things for pets?”
Brooke stood at the kitchen window in the farmhouse and watched Clay, who was out near the barn working on a tractor that was having engine trouble. The conversation she’d had with her mother was still in her head, and it was forcing Brooke to reflect on her own circumstances.
It occurred to Brooke that her mother was much braver than she, to take on a new house, to start this next part of her life with her head up and her eyes looking to the future. Of course, Hannah was lucky to be able to afford to live on her own, her husband’s life insurance policies having been ample; the sale of the Myrtle Beach house combined with their retirement investments assured that she needn’t be dependent on her children.
Of course, Brooke reminded herself, her mother didn’t have a small child to consider. Because Logan had never gotten to know his father, Brooke felt it was important that he have a strong male role model in his life, and Clay certainly fit the bill. Besides, Clay loved his nephew and spent part of every day with him. Brooke definitely believed that raising Logan in close proximity to her brother was in Logan’s best interests. And Logan did love living on the farm. He loved having his friends over, loved having the fields and the orchards for a backyard, and the pond behind the orchard was one of his favorite places. Last
spring and summer, Logan had spent countless hours with his buddies roaming the woods. If she were to move into town, he’d lose all that. Of course, if they moved he could come back and visit, but it wasn’t the same as living there and being part of the day-to-day rhythm of the farm.
On the other hand, though he’d probably never admit it, Clay was certainly hamstrung socially with his mother, sister, and eight-year-old nephew living under the same roof with him. Her mother had been right about that. Even if Clay did meet someone, it could be awkward explaining that they couldn’t hang out at his place because his mother and sister were there.
Brooke walked out the back door thinking that Clay could well be the last man on the face of the earth whose maturity or masculinity would be threatened by the fact that his mother lived with him.