“I don’t care.”
“Then care about this: I want you to stay away from me, Amelia.”
Then he was striding off, the cicadas’ song reaching a powerful crescendo, punctuating their act coming to a close.
In the dark, moonlit night, she thought about the boy who’d lost his daddy. Then she thought about the man. She raised the finger he’d sucked to her lips and vividly recalled the heated look he’d given her as he’d gently bit it.
There was no chance she was staying away now.
Chapter 24
Sleep, which should come so naturally to the young and innocent, was elusive for the children. But with Rye’s voice singing them song after song and Tory and Tammy holding their little hands, they finally surrendered.
When everyone eased out of the room into the hallway, Rye pulled her to him. “I won’t go back on the tour.”
Even though she wanted to tunnel her face into Rye’s chest and keep it there forever, she made herself press back. “No, you can’t disappoint your fans like that.”
Tory rubbed Rye’s back as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Maybe I can record some bedtime songs for you to play for them.”
She had to take a deep breath to ease the sudden pressure in her chest. “That’s…the sweetest idea ever. Your voice soothes them. It always has. Me too.”
He cleared his throat. When he got command of himself, he gave her a weak smile. “I’m glad I can do something to help them.”
“Speaking of help,” Tory said, “I hope you don’t think I’m overstepping, Tammy, but have you thought about having the kids see a therapist?”
Her heart thundered in her chest, hearing those words. “Yes, I have, but they’re so little. I just…I want to exhaust all other possibilities before I go that route.”
“That’s fine, honey,” Rye said. “You do what you think is best.”
Amelia Ann stepped into the hallway, her eyes red and puffy. “Are the kids asleep again?”
“Yes, finally. Are you okay?”
She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “Yes. I just needed a moment.”
Heck, she could use one too. Tammy rubbed her eyes even though she knew her mascara was flaking off. “Come here, honey.”
They embraced, and Rye’s arms came around them, followed by Tory’s. For a moment, it was like there was enough love in the world to make all the bad things go away. When they separated, she felt stronger.
John Parker was right. She could lean a little on her family—and him.
“I’m going to go to bed,” her sister said. “Holler if you need anything.”
“We’re off too.” Rye put his arm around Tory’s waist. “Like Amelia Ann said, holler if you need us.”
“I’ll just be a minute, Rye,” Tory said, and they shared a look before he walked off.
“Tammy, if you want me to stay with you, you know I will. Rye can go back on tour alone.”
Oh her sweet sister-in-law. How had they ever managed without her? “Tory, that means more to me than you’ll ever know, especially since you and Rye were only just married. But it’ll be all right at John Parker’s house.”
“You’re lucky, Tammy, you and the kids. He’s a wonderful man.”
“He loves me.” Part of her still couldn’t wrap her mind around it.
“I know it, and he’s hurting too. He’s in the guest room next to your daddy. You should go talk to him. I’ll stay with the kids.”
“Thanks. I won’t be long. Tory, I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
“I feel the same. Now, go talk to J.P.”
As she walked down the hall, Tammy pressed a hand to her stomach. When she reached his door, it was slightly ajar. He was leaning against the moonlit window in tan shorts and a navy T-shirt, his hair still damp from a shower. She knocked and pushed it open all the way. He turned around as if ready to do battle.
Not sure how to begin, she said, “I hope it’s okay that I came to see you.”
He walked toward her with a tangible determination. “I’m glad you did. I wanted to talk to you too.”
“I don’t know what to say to you.” She fiddled with her manicure, unable to address his profession of love. “You’re changing your life for us.”
He raised her chin to meet his eyes. “I meant what I said. How could I not change my life when I love you and the kids?”
“I care about you, but my life…I can’t say those words back to you. Things have been—”
“You don’t have to say anything that you don’t feel yet. I only want you to know how deep my feelings run. I won’t leave you and the kids to do battle on your own.”
His intent blue gaze had her raising her hand, cupping his strong jaw. “I know you won’t, and I’m glad.”
Awareness rose as John Parker rubbed her lips gently with his thumb. “I want to kiss you again.”
Her breath rushed, her body unfamiliar with the desire he called forth by just being. “Please…”
He lowered his head and took her mouth, his hands framing her face. She closed her eyes as an untended fire caught deep inside her and spread to all her limbs. His lips caressed hers, persuading, entreating, pleasuring. She sighed and opened her mouth, wanting more of him. His tongue darted in, taking a brief taste.
Her nerves felt sensitive suddenly, and Tammy moaned and rose on tiptoes to give them a better angle. He lifted her up off her feet and pulled her against his warm, hard body. She reached for his hair and threaded her fingers through it.
He broke the kiss and nuzzled her neck, murmuring, “I can’t get enough of you.”
She tilted her head to the side, giving him better access to that delicate skin, her eyelids fluttering as his lips traced her collarbone.
Everything was new with him, and it was a revelation.
“John Parker.”
He set her on the floor then and cupped her face. “Tell me you’re not upset with me anymore, Tammy. I promise to support your decisions from now on. I realize how bullheaded I’ve been.”
Those quiet words loosened all her fears about the two of them being locked in perpetual battle. “I’m not upset. I’m grateful for you.”
“Just don’t make me sit on the sidelines, honey.”
She stroked his arms, delighting at how powerful the muscles were under her fingertips. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, John Parker. I want help…I
need
it. I just don’t want to be railroaded.”
“I promise not to do it again.”
She believed him. “Thank you. But John Parker, you have to understand your life is going to be different when the children and I come to stay. Your routine will be upset, and that bothers me to no end.”
“I have a big family. I know what I’m getting into. I want y’all there. I want
you
with me.”
It was hard to mistake the desire in his tone as he pulled her against him.
Living with him with this new flame between them, she knew she’d end up in his bed. Would it be different with him? God, she’d grown to hate and fear the times Sterling had come to her as a husband. Would she please John Parker? Or would it anger him if she didn’t respond like he wanted? Oh, she couldn’t think about any of that now. Otherwise her head would explode.
She rested her head against his chest, listening to his heart. “I need to take things slow between us,” she said, not knowing what else to say.
He massaged her nape, which felt delicious. “I know you do, and you have my promise I won’t rush you. And I want you to know we’ll make it right, Tammy. All of it.”
The old Tammy wanted him to wrap her up like a child and tell her he would take care of everything. But the new Tammy felt the rush of air under her wings, saw the expanse of endless sky, and wanted to fly off into it.
“We’ll make it right.
Together
, John Parker.”
Chapter 25
The household was weary with fatigue and unsettled with nerves the next morning.
Both kids had wet the bed again in the night, and Rory had insisted on taking a bath at half past four in the morning. Annabelle had followed them into the bathroom, crying, not wanting a bath, so Tammy had just wiped her down with a washcloth and put her in clean pajamas.
John Parker, who’d appeared suddenly in the bathroom doorway with mussed hair, carried Annabelle back to bed while Tammy followed with Rory. John Parker had laid on the bed with the kids and sung to them, his voice as strong and deep as Rye’s.
At dawn, Amelia Ann and Daddy came into the room and rested with the kids, sending John Parker to his own room for some sleep. It gave Tammy a glow in her heart to see her daddy lie on the floor next to her little ones.
Tory made a huge breakfast of gingerbread waffles, a family favorite, accompanied by bacon and sausage. By ten o’clock, the kids had fallen asleep in front of the TV, and everyone tiptoed back into the kitchen for more caffeine.
“John Parker,” Daddy said suddenly, “I’m sorry to impose, but is there any way you might give us a moment? I need to speak with my family.”
“Of course, sir,” he said. “I’ll just go find Clayton.”
“Let’s all sit down,” Daddy said, gesturing to the table.
“What’s all this about, Daddy?” Tammy asked, taking a seat beside him, nerves upsetting the food in her stomach. “You’re not sick again, are you?”
“No, good heavens, that’s not it.” He took a breath. “I’ve decided to divorce your mama.”
For a long moment, no one said anything. Amelia Ann pressed her hand to her chest. “But I thought you and Mama were just separating for a while. Daddy, you and Mama have been married forever.”
“I understand why you think of it that way. I expect it seems like nothing can separate a couple if they’ve been together for long enough, but that’s simply not true.” He looked over at Rye and Tory sitting across from them. “That’s something you’ll discover. Marriage continues to need its own tending, and your mama and I stopped doing that a long time ago. Once that happens, it’s easy to forget the reasons you came together in the first place. Things become comfortable. Or tolerable. I’d learned how to stay married to your mama by ignoring…things, and I’m sorry for how that hurt y’all.”
Funny how most of her memories of her daddy growing up were of him being out of the house—whether at work, at the club, or out on the golf course. Had that been his way of escaping? Heavens knew, she’d tried to ignore things with Sterling until it had become intolerable…and downright frightening.
“I had the same distaste for divorce we instilled in you children,” he said, “something which kept Tammy in a bad situation for much longer than it should have.”
She rubbed his back at the guilt she still heard in his voice. “I made the decision not to act sooner, Daddy.” If there was one thing she’d learned this year, it was owning up to her own mistakes. It was the only way she could ever learn from them.
“Since my heart attack, I’ve done a lot of thinking. While there’s much I won’t say about what’s happened between your mama and me, I will say this. Since my recovery, I’ve asked her to embrace our family. To reach out to ya’ll. Struggle to build better relationships. Ask to be forgiven where it’s needed.”
Even Tammy could see Rye’s mouth twist at that mention. Everyone knew Mama had done just the opposite.
“I’ve given Margaret what I consider ample time, and I’ve come to the conclusion she’s not willing to change.” His lips tightened in pain. “I have been unable to forgive how she acted at your wedding, Rye and Tory, and what she said to Tammy was totally out of line.”
Rye leaned forward. “You wouldn’t tell me then, Tammy, but you will tell me now. What did Mama say?”
Taking a deep breath, she told him what he wanted to know. Rye swore a few times, and Amelia Ann’s face fell, but Tammy felt better for having unburdened herself.
“Is this what prompted your makeover?” Rye asked her finally.
“Yes,” she responded.
“Good. You look beautiful.”
Her mouth formed into her first smile since before the break-in.
“Now, if y’all can take some more news…” Daddy said.
Everyone nodded.
“I’m going to start shifting my law practice so I can move here, hopefully in late fall. I want to be closer to y’all. Some of my clients won’t come with me, but a good number will. That will suffice as I putter into retirement.”
So everyone important would be out of Meade? It seemed like a miracle, and Tammy gave him a tight hug to share her enthusiasm.
“We’ll be happy to have you close by, Daddy. Rory and Annabelle will be over the moon.”
“Thank you, sugar.”
“Well, I’m glad you’ve left her,” Rye muttered. “It’s about damned time. She’s a cold—”
“Rye, I won’t hear you speak about your mama that way.” The unwavering strength in his voice could not be dismissed. “She’s still your mama, and we don’t want her choices to continue to be the poisoned well in this family.”
Rye’s jaw clenched, and Tory reached for his hand, which he took.
Amelia Ann stood, and Tammy stepped aside so she could put her arms around Daddy. “I’m so glad you’ll be moving here.”
Rye sat down heavily and drank deeply from his sweet tea. “You can live here with us.”
“No, I need to make my own life here, as do you. But I appreciate you inviting me, Rye.”
They all were. It was exactly the reason Tammy and the kids needed to find a home of their own.
Tammy couldn’t help but wonder what would happen between Mama and all of them now. Would she slide away like a ghost from their past, or would she still show up now and again to keep up appearances? Even though her mama was likely spinning from the shock of the divorce, Tammy could muster little sympathy.
Mama had dug her own grave.
Chapter 26
Bandit was coming home today, and Tammy stood anxiously by the windows, pacing back and forth. They’d had another rough night with nightmares and Annabelle wetting the bed again, and she was so tired and hollow her bones ached. When John Parker came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders to rub the tense muscles, it was hard not to cry out at the pain from them being so tight.
“I thought I would come and see how you’re doing,” he said, turning her in his arms. “Tory and Amelia Ann have Annabelle distracted with a tea party. One of them put her sunflower bonnet on Barbie, and she cracked the first real smile I’ve seen in days.”