“Come on, bubba,” he said. “If you’re nice at dinner and don’t spit or belch, the fairies might even bring you some chocolate for dessert.”
They both laughed at that, and when they walked out into the living room and the kids greeted Clayton, his eyes sought Tammy’s. He smiled at her and crossed the room to stand behind her.
Reaching for her hand, he drew it back so no one could see him holding it.
Hard times might have come knocking at the door of their magical sanctuary, but he wasn’t planning on inviting them to stay.
Chapter 35
Putting on a brave face wasn’t something she’d had to do in a long while, and like out of shape muscles, it took more energy than she remembered. Though she knew something was terribly wrong, she fell back into old patterns of small talk with Clayton at dinner, a wooden smile carved onto her face.
When he left, her shoulders slumped, and all she wanted to do was drag John Parker into a private place and force him tell her what was making him so quiet, brooding almost. But the kids needed baths and song time, so her need to know had to be pushed aside. As soon as they fell asleep, Tammy met John Parker’s blue eyes. Seeing the sorrow in them, a flash of fear sizzled through her body. My God, what was he going to say?
“Let’s go out to the tree house,” he whispered.
She nodded, but she knew this wouldn’t be one of the visits to the tree house that sent passion and life flowing through her veins. The lawn was damp from the sprinklers, and the near full moon shone yellow, almost like it was trying to pretend it was the sun.
When they entered the tree house and turned on the lights that usually guided their hands to the secret places which only each other knew, he didn’t make a move to pull the cot out of the cedar chest he’d hefted inside to store it. No, he sat on one of the children’s small chairs and pulled the other one out for her.
She sat, and he reached for her hands.
“Just tell me straight,” she said. “I know it’s bad.”
A simple squeeze of comfort from him, and then he said, “We hired a woman to pretend to be Gunner Nolan’s girlfriend with the purpose of learning who the leak was. He finally confessed to her that it was a close female relation of Rye’s.”
“Oh, my God,” she whispered, her heart bleeding from the slice of his words. “It must have been Mama.”
“That’s what we think. Rye said he couldn’t think of anyone else who fit that description who would have known to say anything. I’m so sorry, Tammy. Sorrier than I can say.”
She couldn’t sit, so she shot off the chair and rushed over to one of the openings that served as a window. Taking deep breaths of the muggy night air, she squeezed her eyes shut when she saw the fireflies dance in the woods. The scene was too childlike and innocent to bear right now.
“I knew she hated Rye,” she finally said. “My agreeing to the divorce must have…” Words failed her. How could her own mama have betrayed her so thoroughly? “Made her snap. She wanted to hurt us, and oh, God, how she has.”
The pain was too much, and she pressed her hands to her face as the tears came.
John Parker turned her and wrapped his arms around her, and she had what she and Amelia Ann had come to call a good cry. But like nails dug into flesh, there was nothing good about it. It was messy and intense, and it hurt oh so bad.
How could Mama have done this?
But she knew. Mama was mean and cruel, used to having her way, and as soon as her authority had been threatened, she’d struck back like a general launching a counter attack.
“I don’t know what to say to you just now,” John Parker murmured, stroking her back. “I can’t even begin to imagine how much this hurts.”
She sniffed against his chest. “That’s because your own mama would never have even thought of such a thing. I can’t even begin to imagine hurting my kids this badly. It’s inhuman, John Parker.”
“She must be a very bitter and angry woman, Tammy, and I’m not making excuses. I’m only trying to remember how my mama taught us to look at unthinkable situations like this one.”
Bitterness and anger weren’t good enough reasons, and deep down, she wanted to know what her mama had been thinking when she’d called that tabloid. Had she done it in a moment of anger? Did she regret it now? Or did she consider it a just punishment for Rye and Tammy?
In that moment, she knew what she had to do. She’d been running from her mama ever since she’d left Meade—even cutting her hair and changing her clothes had been an effort to escape her mama’s sway. It was time to face her. Like she had faced every other challenge in her life.
“I need to see her,” she told him. “I have to ask her to her face how she could have done this.”
He sighed and caressed her nape, tipping her head so their eyes met. “Are you sure that’s wise? I know you want answers, but sometimes there just aren’t any that will make you feel better. I thought for years about going to see my daddy to ask him how he could have left Mama and me and my sisters, but I finally realized I would be tearing myself up for no good reason. I don’t want her to hurt you anymore than she already has.”
Her eyes tracked to the knight his sister had painted on the wall of the tree house. Tammy knew this was a journey she had to make, just like the knights of old facing down the monsters everyone else feared.
She was strong enough to face Mama now, and she promised herself that her visit would be more about going to Mama and telling her that she knew than it would be the expectation of an apology.
“No, I need to do it.”
His gaze was steady. “Okay. I’ll take care of the kids while you’re gone.”
“Thank you for not arguing with me,” she whispered.
“I promised you at the wedding we would decide what to do together when we heard more. I don’t break my promises.”
No, he never did. “You have more honor than any man I’ve ever known.”
He had to clear his throat, and she reveled in the emotion she could inspire in him. He made her feel more deeply than any person other than her children ever had, and all of it was so powerful, so good, she never planned to go without those feelings again. Not even for a moment.
“I love you,” he whispered and then buried his head in her neck.
“I love you too,” she whispered back. “Make love to me.”
The power of their love was helping her complete her journey of self-fulfillment all the time. Her eyes tracked to the sign on the wall,
Love Wins,
and she thought,
yes, it always does
.
Tammy had learned a lot of truths through making love with John Parker. She’d learned how she could be both brave and vulnerable by surrendering to her body’s urgings for him. And deep inside her was a well of desire. It had been dry for years, but like striking water suddenly in the desert, his loving touch had brought her back to life. She’d discovered that her needs and desires in turn fueled his, and that making love was one of the most sacred acts a man and a woman could ever experience together.
Tonight she learned a new lesson, about how love could comfort and suspend time. As he undressed her in the quiet light, fireflies made their way inside the tree house, blinking on and off like magic. Tammy thought it was only fitting they grace this moment, this special place she and John Parker claimed for themselves when the world grew dark and mysterious.
Her hands traced his muscular chest, and she freed him from his shorts and boxers, all hesitation or embarrassment over their nakedness now blissfully gone. When his hands cupped her nape, stroking the short hair there, she kissed her way along his chest and then went lower, causing him to groan.
“Hold just a sec,” he murmured. “We need a bed.”
In a flash, he had the cot rolled out on the floor, and when he held out his hand to her, she reached for it and lowered herself to his side. When their mouths met, there was love and gentleness and comfort there. And as he continued to kiss her, just kiss her, all thoughts of hurt flew away, as if to a dark cave.
Her body’s rhythms changed then, and she sought what she wanted. She brought his hands to her breasts and reveled in throwing her head back as he touched her, increasing her longing for him, magnifying the glorious ache inside her. When his mouth replaced his hands, she cried out, wanting it to be a powerful sound in the night, as powerful as the crickets and cicadas and the rare hoot of an owl they sometimes heard.
This was her place. This was her time. And she deserved it all.
Her hands began their own magical journey across his skin, moving now to the place which she knew made him groan or call out her name.
She reveled in it all, and by the time he guided her over the first peak, she was more than ready to surrender to the pink light she always saw behind her eyes when they were together. The power of their love had its own colorful light only visible to her inner sight.
His hands were light and gentle as they moved across her skin, extending her enjoyment to the fullest. He never rushed her from one peak to the next unless her own body urged her on, and tonight it was utterly beautiful to simply lie there feeling her body pulse with his strong body beside it.
With her heart so expansive in her chest, she finally opened her eyes. His face was dark with a passion she was used to seeing there now, his pulse beating strong in his neck. But oh, the love shining in his eyes…
She leaned up and pressed him onto his back. Now was her time to love him, to bring him to the special place he could only find with her. Her hands were as sure and true as her heart, and soon he was groaning and crying out her name.
Here was bliss.
When her mouth touched him with reverence, he threaded his fingers in her hair.
“Tammy,” he murmured in a deep voice. “I need you. Now.”
She understood his need, his desire to connect with her in that most intimate way. Since she’d managed a quick trip to her doctor for birth control, there were no barriers between them anymore. She rose over him and took him deep inside her, and the fullness, the feel of his hands on her hips, had her head falling back. She followed her body’s lead, rising and falling until the welcome force of her climax thundered through her. She cried out, pulsing on top of him, and the rhythms of her body elicited his own pleasure.
They held each other, hearts still racing, skin slick with sweat, and she kissed him long and sweet.
For the moment, nothing else mattered.
Chapter 36
Amelia Ann hadn’t slept a wink after Rye’s call late last night.
Her worst fear had been realized. They knew who the leak was…or at least they thought they did.
Only she knew better. But had she corrected her brother? No, not one bit.
Until his call, she hadn’t even known about the woman they’d hired to be Gunner Nolan’s girlfriend, only that they were pursuing a lead. It was dirty, cruel, and brilliant—all at the same time—something the law firm’s investigator would have done to ferret out information on one of their cases.
While her brother had raged on and on about Mama’s cruelty on the phone, her mind had spun like a tornado. He’d taken her silence for shock, and that had been a blessing. His vehemence had only confirmed what she already knew. She could never tell the truth.
She was going to let Mama go down for this.
And wasn’t that a bitter pill? Apparently she was more like Mama than she’d ever thought.
But there was no denying that after everything Mama had done to their family, she deserved to be treated the way she’d always treated them.
Amelia Ann was leaning over to pick up another book from the stack on her desk—she needed to focus on work even though it was the last thing she felt capable of doing—when the back of her neck tingled with awareness. A man leaned against the side of the desk’s metal frame. She knew who it was instantly, from the width of his lean hips to the way his thighs bulged with muscle in his jeans.
“Hey, honey,” Clayton drawled. “How are you doing this morning?”
Wonderful. Just what she needed. Usually she was delighted to see him, but not now.
“I won’t even ask why you’re here. You know Jared is down the hall in the corner office.”
“I’m not here to see Jared. Rye sent me to check on you.”
That was beyond annoying of her brother. “I’m fine. Feel free to show yourself back out.”
His hand curved under her elbow and lifted her out of her chair. If she struggled, it would only invite speculation, so she went along with him. Clayton led her out of the cubicle, down the hallway, and into her boss’s office. Great. So Jared, who was conspicuously absent, had decided to give them a moment, likely at his client’s request.
After depositing her into one of the leather chairs in front of the floor to ceiling windows, Clayton forcibly shut the door and leaned back against it. “Now tell me truly. How are you doing?”
“I told you I’m fine,” she snapped, “and since we both know you don’t want to be here any longer than necessary, why don’t you take a hike and tell my brother you chucked me under the chin and did your job?”
Those gray eyes measured her for a long moment, and then he pushed off the door and walked toward her in what could only be termed a stalk. Unwilling to be intimidated, she rose from her seat. He stepped closer still, so close she could smell his scent—leather, musk, and wood smoke.
Usually it made her knees weak, but the knowledge that he wanted to talk to her about the leak made it easy to keep her focus.
“It’s okay to admit you’re hurt, honey. What your mama did was unforgivable.”
Unforgivable.
Any reply dried up in her mouth. His judgment was exactly what she feared from her family. It only punctuated her need to keep her secret at all costs.
He took a deep breath, and his face scrunched up like he was about to do something distasteful. “Come here, then,” he said and brought her to his chest.
She didn’t put her arms around him like she desperately wanted to. Instead, they hung at her sides, a self-inflicted punishment. She didn’t deserve to be comforted by him.
He let her go and framed her face with his hands, looking deep into her eyes. The concern in his gaze shook her foundation, and for a moment, the promise of everything she’d ever imagined between them hovered in the air.