Authors: Steve Sem-Sandberg
it's what they do to punish them for being brazen
they flog the shit out of them
and the entire crew naturally burst out laughing so it was no good trying to find out more. But once they had returned to the Bunker that afternoon, Zavlacky sat down next to Adrian and said that he had better not expect to be allowed to stay. The punishment bunker was a transit station, just like everywhere else. Sooner or later, they would all be called to appear in front of the commission. Adrian didn't even know what the commission was all about. The commission, Zavlacky explained, is the authority that decides if you're smart enough to be sent to labour camp or if you're to join the idiots. And, when Adrian just kept staring at him (Miseryguts:
don't say you fancied that punishment meant sitting around in a heated bunker all day long â¦
) Zavlacky went on to say that he knew of several Bunker inmates who had been sent off to labour camp. Some said it was like a concentration camp though they didn't treat you like the Commies or the Jews. For a bit, Adrian kept staring at them (Miseryguts:
hey, are you to join the idiots or what?
) and then asked, was there really no other choice? Zavlacky suggested: try to sell it to the commission that you're too stupid to be in a camp but just smart enough not to end up with the idiots, it's not easy but some people make it, nodding towards Gangly who was sitting a bit further away but started at once to chatter and grin as if he couldn't agree more.
*
A Parcel
  From that day on, Adrian expected to be called to appear in front of the commission. He wasn't. Instead, he received a parcel. It was two days until Christmas Eve. His mother had written his name on the parcel in large letters and, to prevent any mistakes, drawn a ring around the number of his old pavilion. So, she hadn't been informed about his failed escape attempt, nor where he might end up next. The parcel contained a box of dry biscuits (Adrian shared them at once with Zavlacky and Gangly), a sweater and a pair
of socks knitted in thick, grey wool. He couldn't recall ever having seen his mother knit. She wouldn't have been able to afford the yarn, didn't have the time, what with four young children to look after, and, besides, had she had no time to spare, there were other more important things to do. Where did that yarn come from? And was the sweater even meant for him? He tried to put it on and when he saw his bare arms sticking out of the far too short sleeves, the lump forming in his throat swelled and, in the end, even Gangly looked away. The sweater must have been for Helmut, or did his mother truly think he still was that small?
*
Christmas
  At this time last year, they had been housed at Ybbs and all Adrian remembered of that Christmas celebration was tired apples being handed out and the booming sound of the river on the other side of the thick, ice-cold walls. The river was heard so distinctly then, as if there had been no other sounds to listen to that freezing winter's night. It was as cold this year. On the morning of Christmas Eve, they had to scrub their section of the pavilion. Kohler opened all the cell doors and organised two bucket chains: one lot of boys dealt with the buckets and basins full of hot, soapy water from the kitchen, and the other with the buckets of clean rinsing water. Within a few hours, the section was awash with floor-soap foam and water and, because the pavilion wasn't ever properly heated, the floors soon turned as slippery as oiled glass. It was particularly bad just inside the front door, propped open by Kohler. Inevitably, someone slipped on the wet floor, a frail-looking boy called Felix Rausch. He was on the hot-water team, so boiling water washed over him and he had to be carried, screaming with pain, to casualty. The outcome of this incident was that they were late for the hospital board's specially arranged Christmas party that every ward and section of the entire institution
were under strict orders to attend. The talk was of a
Weihnachtsfest
, but actually, everything to do with Christmas was forbidden. Not even Christmassy words, so glitteringly light and heart-warming, like
Weihnachtsfeier
or
Weihnachtslieder
, were allowed. You're to say âFeast of Light', Kohler told them, no argument. But there was not much light to be seen in the snowy yard in front of pavilion 3, where the punishment-block boys were lined up to wait for Felix, the burns patient, to come outside. And there he was at last, a strange-looking figure leaning on Kohler. Felix's head had been bandaged so generously that only the tip of his nose and half of one ear stuck out. Now that their number was complete, they marched off across the creaking layer of snow. Large banners with swastikas on them had been hung from the second floor windows of the institution's theatre and, outside its entrance, Hitlerjugend youths formed a guard of honour. They held large flaming torches that gave off a sour smell of oil and smoke. But inside the theatre it was dark â and so silent; an almost tangible silence, like in a crypt. Adrian craned his neck to try to catch a glimpse of some of the children from his old pavilion but all he could see was a sea of stiff backs, slightly bent as if for a beating. There was a large podium set up on the stage and on it all the nurses and other members of staff were on parade, their faces turned to the audience. A little to the left of centre, he spotted Mutsch and Demeter, neatly attired in starched uniforms. There was a lectern, too, with swastika flags placed on either side of it. The board members as well as the administrative staff, including accountants and secretaries, stood around the lectern and Doctor Krenek himself stood behind it, speaking from a large bundle of notes. But although he spoke loudly and enunciated clearly, it was as if the words wouldn't quite take off from his mouth but instead hung on like large bubbles and, all the while, even more word-bubbles were pushing forward from wherever
they were created.
Unser über alles geliebter Führer
â the leader we love more than anyone and anything â made one bubble;
der Endsieg
and then
der ewige Tag eines grossdeutschen Reiches
were other bubbles â the final victory, and the eternal day of the greater German Reich â and all the while more saliva-sprinkled bubbles kept being produced, now about the soldiers who fought in snow and ice for their German homeland, and as he spoke, he stroked his head with his hand, again and again. Had something had got stuck in his hair? Adrian was just going to point this out to the boy next to him when he â it was Miseryguts â said:
A LARGE BIRD SITS UP THERE AND SHITS ON HIS HEAD.
He whispered but articulated every syllable very clearly. A wave of subdued laughter ran through the row of boys. In the next moment Doctor Krenek inevitably lifted his hand to his head again and Zavlacky followed up with:
MAYBE IT'S THE FÃHRER HIMSELF WHO SITS
THERE AND SHITS IN HONOUR OF THE DAY.
The whisper was just as quiet, almost inaudible, but impossible not to hear. By then they couldn't keep their laughter down anymore. It fizzed and fermented with such irresistible force that the only way seemed to be to bend forward and try to strangle it between your knees. Adrian just had time to see Kohler's alarmed face turn towards them from the row in front. Just as well that it grew no worse, as far as the anxious Kohler was concerned, because when the laughter was about to spread to the rows in front and behind them, everything
was drowned out by the enormous roar made when the entire audience stood as one man and shouted:
HEIL HITLER â¦!
Doctor Krenek had just that moment produced another huge bubble with
Heil Hitler
inside and stood with his right hand stretched up and out. All around him and the lectern, and all over the podium, where the doctors and nurses and allied staff were standing, either in professional whites or in their best outfits, arms were raised in the German greeting. In the audience, the model patients in their grey institutional uniforms aped everyone else, held up their arms and shouted
Heil Hitler!
in their hoarse voices. All joined in, except Miseryguts who muttered
Grüss Gott
. But by then Kohler had already got the group moving. Because they had been among the last to get in, they were let out early. Even before the singing had had time to erupt inside the theatre, they were ordered to line up in
Zweiereiher
and run back to their pavilion. They truly sounded like chain-gang prisoners as they jogged along, breathing heavily, the cold prickling around their eyes. When they arrived, they were not even allowed to go into the Bunker but were told to undress immediately and go to bed. Adrian slept with the ugly, far too small and roughly knitted sweater jammed between his legs, and went to sleep wondering if being
brazen
might be something as seemingly innocent as to take one's cap off to show one's shaved head. When he got down into the Bunker the next morning, neither Miseryguts nor Zavlacky was there. Adrian asked around to find out where they had gone but nobody knew. Gangly only showed his yellow teeth in his usual grin and talked wildly. Felix Rausch, the boy whose face had been scalded, had vanished and his destination was also unknown.
*
Facing the Commission
  Four days into the New Year, on Monday 4 January 1943, Adrian Ziegler finally appeared in front of the commission. The interrogation took place in pavilion 1, the same pavilion in which Doctor Gross on another January day two years earlier had measured and described all Adrian's unseemly flaws. Half a dozen people were seated behind tables placed in a semi-circle around the central area of the room where he was told to stand at
Habt-Acht
. The director of the reform school Doctor Krenek, occupied the middle of the semi-circle as the would-be leader of the inquisition. To Krenek's left and right, grimly concentrated men and women sat behind piles of documents and folders. Many of them he had never seen before but he assumed they must be the providers of âexpertise' â pedagogically trained staff from the social services department who had been called in to attend the questioning. He did recognise the psychologist Edeltraud Baar and one of the teachers from the school pavilion, a Mr Ritter. The usual Führer portrait hung on the wall behind just behind Ritter. One of the experts, who seemed to function as some kind of secretary because he was writing all the time, addressed Adrian without even looking up from his notes, telling him to state his name and when he was born, and then, because he obviously wasn't speaking distinctly enough, demanded that he repeated the answers several times. When at last everyone was satisfied, Doctor Krenek opened one of the folders and started to read aloud in a declamatory, almost indignant voice from what seemed to be an official compilation of various reports, all about Adrian.
DOCTOR KRENEK
: [
reads
] Adrian Z has shown himself to be a degenerate, ingratiating character, which stems from his depraved and filthy home conditions and his upbringing
by an alcoholic father and a frivolous, flighty mother with unmistakably limited gifts. [
Leafs through the pages
.]
Erbbiologisch ist die Sippe sehr minderwertig
â the family's biological inheritance is of very low quality. On the father's side, a long history of work-shy individuals and drunkenness; on the mother's, of debility and imbecility. One of the mother's brothers was kept at Steinhof for a considerable length of time. Adrian learnt early to use cringing as his approach to life. His nature is essentially frivolous, obsequious and full of tricks while on the trail of personal advantage, otherwise he is idle and recalcitrant.
One care worker has reported that A. Z. occasionally finds it so difficult to concentrate that he seems barely aware of his surroundings and, thus, only
physical
means serve to make him conscious of his situation. The veracity of this observation is confirmed by several other, mutually independent witnesses:
[A. Z.] has a certain ability to think on his feet, an expression of fast reflexes rather than of intelligence. He is well versed in deceit, âhardened' and, in his âgang', assumes a leadership role but is ready to submit when challenged.
When told to write a school essay on the subject of his aspirations for work in the future, he stated a wish to train as a waiter because his father knew somebody who could take him on. In other words, the degenerate pattern is repeated in the youth's dreams about the future. To him, work entails
pretending
to oblige, the aim of service is to
steal
and so forth.
The disciplinary issues pertaining to Adrian Z add up to a formidable list:
On 22 March last year, he was entrusted with the task of fetching an additional portion of the evening meal from the institution's
kitchen but skulked in an unknown location before returning from his errand. When required to explain the delay, he threw the tray on the floor in a fit of rage. His punishment was to be isolated from the other children for a brief period but, instead of spending the time in reflection about his severe misdemeanours, he enticed his carer into the cell on the pretence of having âsomething to show her' and then attacked her âwith blows and kicks'.
Adrian Z's character traits emerge clearly from these notes. Ostensibly, he gives the impression of a well-behaved boy â although far from gifted. However, behind the quiet surface lurks a manipulative intelligence worthy of a ruthless criminal. Thus, for example, immediately prior to the escape attempt on 22 October this year, was a period of reasonable calm. Day-notes entries include:
06/10
  Â
A. Z. causes no trouble, well-behaved; pays attention to his work and completed it â¦
14/10
 Â
A. Z. works hard; offers to help with doing the dishes â¦
16/10
  Â
A. Z. replies politely and shows interest â¦
In fact, throughout this period he had stealthily planned the escape that he executed on 22 October: A. Z. asks leave to go to the toilet, then breaks the window locks with a tool he must have had in readiness to this very end. Later, he is picked up in a very poor state and taken to Wilhelminenspital where he is cared for overnight.
Even though his attempt to run away was a pathetic failure and clumsily executed, it had obviously been planned for a long time with the help of at least one, if not several, helpers or conspirators.
EXPERT 1:
[
interrupts his note-taking
] Doctor Krenek. In my opinion, this youth isn't paying full attention to the proceedings. He appears to be laughing.
DOCTOR KRENEK
: [
irritably, to Adrian
] What are you looking at?
ADRIAN Z
: Nothing ⦠at our Führer.
DOCTOR KRENEK
: You're to listen and look at me, and speak up when you're spoken to.
ADRIAN Z
: [
stares straight ahead
]
EXPERT
1
: As a matter of fact, he was laughing.
DOCTOR KRENEK
: Do you have any understanding of why you're here?
ADRIAN Z
: [â¦]
DOCTOR KRENEK
: You might begin by telling us who helped you to run away. Then we'll have that matter out of the way, once and for all.
ADRIAN Z
: [â¦]
EXPERT
2
: [
leafs through documents
] In my view, it's high time to go to the root of the trouble. Now, as far as I can see, the youth spent three years in the Münnichplatz primary school and was, even then, a knowing rebel. He failed in most subjects. Despite being urged to, he refused to join in the
Heimabend
programme of home get-togethers for the young.
ADRIAN Z
: I couldn't go to any of the
Heimabenden
because I had to look after my brother.
EXPERT
2
: That's a lie. He didn't attend any
Heimabend
because his father had been deemed of inferior racial stock. Hence, he was unfit for wartime service.
ADRIAN Z
: That was before, when I was with the Haidingers.
DOCTOR KRENEK
: Quiet unless spoken to!
EXPERT 2
: Can this boy tell us anything he has learnt in school? Anything at all?
EXPERT
1
: Describe a right-angled triangle.
ADRIAN Z
: [â¦]
EXPERT
1
: Name the three longest rivers in Europe.
ADRIAN
Z
: [â¦]
EXPERT
2
: The date our Führer was born?
ADRIAN
Z
: [â¦]
EXPERT
2
: He has no idea. Obviously an idiot.
DOCTOR KRENEK
: What was all that about your brother?
ADRIAN
Z
: I couldn't go to any
Heimabenden
because I had to look after my brother. Besides, no one wanted me to be there.
EXPERT
2
: For good reason.
ADRIAN Z
: Mrs Haidinger always liked Helmut better and if she bought things or had clothes made up, it was always for him. So
he
could go to those evenings because he was blond, but Mrs Haidinger didn't think I should be there because I wasn't and it didn't look right.
EXPERT
1
: Being present at the at-home evenings is a duty for everyone.
DOCTOR KRENEK
: And now, can we return to the agenda? [
Looks sternly at some of the experts who are chatting, some even trying to hide smiles behind their hands.
]
ADRIAN Z
: There's nothing wrong with Helmut, there's no need to kill him. Dad always used to say that Mum must've got him with someone else because he ⦠[
Bursts into tears.
]
EXPERT
2
: [
gets up, approaches Adrian Z, close enough to slap him hard across the face
] You speak when spoken to. Is that understood? And you can cut out that pretend-weepiness at once.
DOCTOR KRENEK
: [
speaks with surprising gentleness
] Where did you think you were going to run to when you got out of Spiegelgrund, Adrian?
ADRIAN Z
: [
mumbles something
]
EXPERT
2
: Speak up when you're spoken to!
DOCTOR KRENEK
: Home, did you say? But you have no home. You had a foster-home but you didn't want to stay there either. Where did you think you'd stay?
ADRIAN Z
: [
mumbles
]
EXPERT
1
: But the person you call âmother' is a racially inferior woman, a depraved and work-shy parasite who hasn't the slightest notion of the responsibility and strength of mind required to bring up children nowadays.
DOCTOR KRENEK
: [
bends forward, raises both hands with the palms inclined upwards
] You take a look at these hands of mine, Ziegler! They are large and strong and white and always clean. When they strike a blow, they remain clean and pure because, when they hit out, the blows are for justice. I wish that your hands were the same as mine. But instead of showing your hands, you hold them hidden behind your back. You use your hands for deceitful things, to steal and to conceal. Now, there are many places where we can send boys like you to teach them what working with their hands is like, like a
Jugendschutzlager
where you might have to work twelve hours a day.
ADRIAN Z
: [
still speaking almost inaudibly
] I don't want to ⦠to go to a camp.
DOCTOR KRENEK
: Then you must take the opportunity to stretch out your hands, straightaway, and say: âI have done what is wrong but I will improve from now on.' He who has nothing to hide, has nothing to fear, Adrian. So, begin with naming the boys who helped you escape.
ADRIAN Z
: Nobody helped me.
DOCTOR KRENEK
: You're a hardened miscreant. You disobey me out of sheer defiance. Camp is the only place for you.
ADRIAN Z
: I did it on my own.
DOCTOR KRENEK
: Had you only had the wit to spend more time pulling your weight, actively work as best you could for a healthy, forward-looking community, then you wouldn't have been standing here in front of us. Indeed not. Now, had you thought about that? As things stand, you have obviously chosen to make a virtue of your sins.
ADRIAN Z
: I don't want to go to a camp; all I want is â
DOCTOR KRENEK
: All we want is to cure you.
ADRIAN Z
: [
weeps
] Cure me of what â¦
what
will you cure me of?
Â
*