The Christmas Portrait (22 page)

I kept walking and ducking in the bushes whenever I saw car lights. The Wilson's house was completely dark except for the trail of white smoke coming from the chimney. I didn't have to worry about their dog barking at me. He'd be inside on a night like tonight. Just three more blocks to the corner and then two blocks to the church.

I thought about Laramie being out in the cold all by herself for so long before she showed up at our house Monday night. And she was hurt, and she didn't know what was going to happen to her. All I had to do was get to the church and hide until the service was over. At least it'd be warm in there, and then I could go back home. I wished Laramie was with me, but she didn't need any more trouble right now.

I could hear the organ when I was a half a block away from the church. Good. The service was under way. There were no folks in sight when I got there. They were still singing and nobody could hear or see me, so I opened the door, slipped in, and headed down the side hallway out of sight. It was dark, and no one would come this way 'cause the bathrooms and the pastor's office were down the other hall.

I brushed the snow off and took off my earmuffs. I might be the only creature stirring in this hallway on the night before Christmas, but I still tiptoed. I ducked in the first classroom to wait for “Silent Night,” my signal to get ready 'cause the service would soon be over. All I had to do was wait. I didn't move a muscle and wished I were invisible. Any minute Pastor Simmons would say, “Let us go and carry God's light into the darkness.” Then everybody would light their candles and head to the parking lot. The wind was blowing so hard, they'd be hurrying to their cars. Then I could do what I came to do and get home.

The way I had things figured, when everybody was out the door, Pastor Simmons would go back to his office and hang up his robe. And I'd have time to take Mama's present to the altar table and say my prayer. I'd be out that front door before he came back in to turn out the lights and lock up and set the alarm.

So I waited and waited for the people to leave, and then I heard somebody say, “Pastor, you better lock up. Just saw some old vagabond walking up the street.” I was standing ready to take off down the hall when everything went dark, and I heard the front door close and the click of metal.

It was dark and quiet, and I kept waiting for the pastor to come back in, but he didn't. I was so quiet I could hear my eyes batting. I don't know how long I waited, but it finally came to me that he wasn't coming back. I was locked in the church all by myself.

I shivered. How was I gonna get out and get home? Mama and Daddy didn't like me to be anywhere by myself, but I guessed if I had to be somewhere by myself, the church was a good place, especially on Christmas Eve. Still, I was glad Chesler wasn't with me. He'd be whining by now.

I came out from behind the door and tiptoed down the hall to the front entrance, quiet as a cat. I didn't know why I was so quiet. There was no one there to hear me, and there was no light in the front hall. “Dark as Egypt,” Granny would say. Now I knew what she meant.

I checked the door. It was locked and the alarm was set, and I didn't have a key. I walked down the hall to Pastor Simmons's office. His door was locked. That meant I couldn't even get to a phone to call Daddy. I turned around and went through the doorway into where we had church. No lights there either, except the red letters of the exit sign at the side door and the streetlights shining through the stained glass windows. The room was still warm, but it wouldn't stay that way long unless they left the heat on for tomorrow morning's services. At least I was out of the wind, and I was safe because the door was locked.

I stood in the aisle. My eyes were getting used to the dark. The church was real quiet like Mama's sewing room, and it looked big and empty in the dark, but I had my flashlight.

Chesler promised he wouldn't tell anyone about my plan, but he never kept his promises. If I wasn't home in the morning, he'd tell Daddy where I was, and they'd come and find me. Daddy would be so happy I was okay that maybe he wouldn't be too mad. He wouldn't let me miss Christmas. But if this was the one time Chesler decided to keep his promise, then I'd be stranded here until folks started coming to church in the morning.

My flashlight stuck out of my coat pocket, just waiting for me to turn it on and walk down the aisle, so I did. I went over to the side door to check it out. I thought about pushing it to see if it would open. But that would set the alarm off, and the police would come.

I didn't know what else to do, so I sat down on the pew and started thinking. But then I heard something, a creaking sound and the wind howling. Those old church walls sure made some strange noises. I put my earmuffs back on so I couldn't hear. The streetlights shined through the stained glass, and the tree limbs nearby made shadows on the windows. I shut my eyes so tight it seemed they might never open again. I couldn't see or hear. I had never been in an empty church before, and it felt like being in the cemetery. And then I thought of Laramie being all by herself and hurt and hiding in the shed out back of the school. She must have been so scared.

I didn't like being here all by myself, but I'd rather stay here all night alone and have Daddy find me in the morning than have the police take me home in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve. Everybody in town would be talking about that little Harding girl.

Finally I decided I might as well do what I came here to do, so I got up and walked to the altar table and put my flashlight down next to the advent wreath. I unbuttoned my coat and reached under my sweater for the special box. Holding it in my hands like I was holding on to Mama, I knelt down on the floor right in front of the Christ candle, wishing it was lit.

“Dear God,” I prayed, “I've been telling You it's real important that my mama gets this for Christmas. I know she's got everything she needs in heaven and all, but I think she'd really like to have this. She can keep it with her until I get there. Please God, I didn't mean to get locked in the church. That wasn't part of my plan. I'm sorry if I'm in trouble, but I just didn't know where else to take Mama's present. I knew You'd be here. And God, if there's ever a time Chesler keeps his promise, please don't let it be now. Please let Daddy find me and not be too mad. I don't like being all by myself in here, and I'm real scared, God. Oh, and thank You for the redbird You send to the cedar tree. She reminds me of Mama. Amen.”

I got up and placed Mama's gift on the altar table next to the Christ candle. Just as I put it down, there was a strange noise like a rumble. I hoped it was the wind blowing hard, but it didn't sound like that. I was too scared to turn around, and I wanted to scream, but I didn't think anything would come out. I searched for my flashlight on the table and found it. With my other hand I removed my earmuffs. And then I heard it. Someone clearing his throat.

“Good evening, Katherine Joy.” His voice was scraggly like he needed to cough or clear his throat again.

Whoever it was knew me, and I had heard that voice before, but where? I held tight to my flashlight.

“I heard you praying. I hope you don't mind.”

I knew his voice, and I turned around to see. Light coming through the stain-glassed windows made his face look like a kaleidoscope of colors. “Mr. Josh?” I looked harder. “Mr. Josh, is that really you?”

He was holding his wool cap in his hands. “I'm right here, and it makes me so happy you remembered me.”

“I remember you from the hospital, but what are you doing here?” I asked.

“Oh, I was just passing through and needed a warm place to spend the night.”

“But I didn't think anyone else was here. I thought I was locked in all alone.” I wanted to hug him, but I didn't.

“Well, I'm here too. I know, little one, the church is empty most of the time.” He rubbed his hand across his scruffy beard. “You know why I'm here, and I heard your prayer, so I know why you're here.” He stepped closer to the table and ran his finger over the top of the red box.

If he took Mama's present, I didn't know what I'd do.

“Why don't we light this candle?”

Then he reached under his coat, and I could see he still had on that old gray wool sweater. Just like at the hospital, he pulled out that green book of matches with Haven of Hope on it, and he lit the Christ candle. “Maybe with this candle burning, you'll see you're not alone.”

His voice was real gentle, and I wasn't so scared anymore. “Why don't we just sit down right here on this pew and look at the flame?” He sat down, and I sat down too, but not too close.

We sat in silence until I couldn't be quiet any longer. “I didn't mean to get locked in here.”

Then he said, “I know you didn't. It's a strange thing about the church. The doors are locked from the outside—locked doors for those folks who need to come in because they're out there standing in the cold and the dark. And here you are on the inside, and you don't seem to be able to get out.” Then he got quiet again.

“But I really need to go home so my daddy won't be worried.”

“Yes, Katherine Joy, daddies like yours tend to do that. It's because he loves you so much, but I don't want you to worry.”

“But I can't help it.” I just wanted to cry.

“I'm sorry about this mess you think you're in, but everything will be just fine come morning, you'll see. Yes, little one, I think this story will have a happy ending.”

Then I remembered, and just for a minute I wasn't sad or worried. “That's what you said at the hospital. My friend, Laramie, her story had a real happy ending. Her mom came home today.”

“She did, did she? Well, just maybe that's a happy beginning. Let's see, you've already told me about your mama when we met at the hospital. Seems I remember she was good at singing. Did she come to church here?”

“Yes, sir. You see the chairs in the choir?”

“I do.”

I pointed to Mama's seat. “That was where Mama sat. She sat right in the middle on the front row, and she could sing like a redbird.”

“Like a redbird, you say? I think I'm familiar with how redbirds sing.”

We sat for a little while and watched the candle and the flickers of light coming through the windows.

Then he started singing “Away in a Manger” real quiet like he was singing to himself. His voice sounded like the hinges on my closet door.

I stared at the candle. It was burning so bright in the darkness that it seemed to fill up the cracks of those cold, stone walls and made the wooden pews look warm. I yawned real big. I was getting so sleepy, but I didn't want to say so 'cause I didn't think it was right for me to go to sleep all by myself with this stranger nearby. What if he took Mama's present?

Then he said out of the clear blue like he could read my mind, “It'll be all right if you'd like to go to sleep, Kate. I'll just sit here for a while and look at the candle. Just remember, you're not alone.”

I put my feet up on the pew and lay on my side with my arm curled up under my head. My eyelids were so heavy when I lay down on that pew. Mr. Josh just sat there all peaceful like with his arms folded, looking at the candle and humming to himself. I watched him till I just couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

I don't know how much time passed, but the next thing I knew someone was calling my name.

“Katherine Joy! Kate, are you in here? It's Daddy.” I thought I was dreaming until I opened my eyes and saw streaks of red and blue and green morning light pouring in through the church windows. I sat up. There in the aisle was Daddy, and behind him, the pastor and Uncle Luke and Chesler.

“I'm here, Daddy. I'm right here.”

The next thing I knew, Daddy was squeezing me, and asking, “Katherine Joy, are you all right?”

I wrapped my arms so tight around Daddy's neck. His beard was scratchy, but I didn't care. “Yes, sir, I'm fine,” I said to Daddy. “I'm just fine.”

Uncle Luke said, “When you weren't in your room this morning, Chesler told us about your plan.”

Chesler climbed up on the pew next to me and tried to hug me. “I had to tell him, Kate. Don't be mad at me. I had to tell Daddy. It's Christmas, and we had to come and find you.”

I gave my brother the biggest hug. “It's okay, Chesler. I prayed last night you wouldn't keep your promise. God just answered my prayer.”

Daddy patted Chesler on the head. “You did the right thing, son.” Then Daddy took my hand and helped me stand up. He looked at me like he hadn't seen me in forty forevers. “What in the world made you come here last night, Kate? Chesler said something about a present for your mama.”

“It was the only way for Mama to get her Christmas present.”

“What? What about your mama's Christmas present?” Daddy just hugged me tight, and I thought he was going to cry. “Never mind, we'll straighten all that out when we get home, but right now I think you owe the pastor an explanation and an apology. It's Christmas morning, and he had to leave his family to help me find you.”

“I'm so sorry. I was just gonna slip in and leave Mama's present before you locked the doors last night, but I got locked in. I didn't mean to worry anybody. I'm so sorry you had to leave your family and Miss Evie and get out in the cold just for me.”

Pastor Simmons looked me straight in the face. “Kate, that's one fine apology, and I accept it. But would you mind telling me about this plan of yours?”

“Yes, sir . . . I mean, no, sir, I don't mind. Do you remember when I came to see you and asked about how I could get Mama's Christmas present to her?”

“Yes, I remember that conversation well. But I don't recall telling you how to do that.”

“No, sir, you didn't. Nobody could tell me. But I figured it out for myself. I thought if I could just get Mama's present to the church on Christmas Eve that God would take care of it. I knew He would understand. So I put it right over there on the table.”