Lily did not feel a strong prepossession in favour of Sir Raffle, in spite of his praise of John Eames. The harsh voice of the man annoyed her, and his egotism offended her. When, much later in the evening, his character came on for discussion between herself and Mrs. Thorne and Emily Dunstable, she had not a word to say in his favour. But still she had been pleased to meet him, because he was the man with whom Johnny’s life was most specially concerned. I think that a portion of her dislike to him arose from the fact that in continuing the conversation he did not revert to his private secretary, but preferred to regale her with stories of his own doings in wonderful cases which had partaken of interest similar to that which now attached itself to Mr. Crawley’s case. He had known a man who had stolen a hundred pounds, and had never been found out; and another man who had been arrested for stealing two-and-sixpence which was found afterwards sticking to a bit of butter at the bottom of a plate. Mrs. Thorne had heard all this, and had answered him, “Dear me, Sir Raffle,” she had said, “what a great many thieves you have had amongst your acquaintance!” This had rather disconcerted him, and then there had been no more talking about Mr. Crawley.
It had been arranged on this morning that Mr. Dale should return to Allington and leave Lily with Mrs. Thorne. Some special need of his presence at home, real or assumed, had arisen, and he had declared that he must shorten his stay in London by about half the intended period. The need would not have been so pressing, probably, had he not felt that Lily would be more comfortable with Mrs. Thorne than in his lodgings in Sackville Street. Lily had at first declared that she would return with him, but everybody had protested against this. Emily Dunstable had protested against it very stoutly; Mrs. Dale herself had protested against it by letter; and Mrs. Thorne’s protest had been quite imperious in its nature. “Indeed, my dear, you’ll do nothing of the kind. I’m sure your mother wouldn’t wish it. I look upon it as quite essential that you and Emily should learn to know each other.” “But we do know each other; don’t we, Emily?” said Lily. “Not quite well yet,” said Emily. Then Lily had laughed, and so the matter was settled. And now, on this present occasion, Mr. Dale was at Mrs. Thorne’s house for the last time. His conscience had been perplexed about Lily’s horse, and if anything was to be said it must be said now. The subject was very disagreeable to him, and he was angry with Bernard because Bernard had declined to manage it for him after his own fashion. But he had told himself so often that anything was better than a pecuniary obligation, that he was determined to speak his mind to Mrs. Thorne, and to beg her to allow him to have his way. So he waited till the Harold Smiths were gone, and Sir Raffle Buffle, and then, when Lily was apart with Emily—for Bernard Dale had left them—he found himself at last alone with Mrs. Thorne.
“I can’t be too much obliged to you,” he said, “for your kindness to my girl.”
“Oh, laws, that’s nothing,” said Mrs. Thorne. “We look on her as one of us now.”
“I’m sure she is grateful—very grateful; and so am I. She and Bernard have been brought up so much together that it is very desirable that she should not be unknown to Bernard’s wife.”
“Exactly—that’s just what I mean. Blood’s thicker than water; isn’t it? Emily’s child, if she has one, will be Lily’s cousin.”
“Her first-cousin once removed,” said the squire, who was accurate in these matters. Then he drew himself up in his seat and compressed his lips together, and prepared himself for his task. It was very disagreeable. Nothing, he thought, could be more disagreeable. “I have a little thing to speak about,” he said at last, “which I hope will not offend you.”
“About Lily?”
“Yes; about Lily.”
“I’m not very easily offended, and I don’t know how I could possibly be offended about her.”
“I’m an old-fashioned man, Mrs. Thorne, and don’t know much about the ways of the world. I have always been down in the country, and maybe I have prejudices. You won’t refuse to humour one of them, I hope?”
“You’re beginning to frighten me, Mr. Dale; what is it?”
“About Lily’s horse.”
“Lily’s horse? What about her horse? I hope he’s not vicious?”
“She is riding every day with your niece,” said the squire, thinking it best to stick to his own point.
“It will do her all the good in the world,” said Mrs. Thorne.
“Very likely. I don’t doubt it. I do not in the least disapprove her riding. But—”
“But what, Mr. Dale?”
“I should be so much obliged if I might be allowed to pay the livery-stable keeper’s bill.”
“Oh, laws a’ mercy.”
“I daresay it may sound odd, but as I have a fancy about it, I’m sure you’ll gratify me.”
“Of course I will. I’ll remember it. I’ll make it all right with Bernard. Bernard and I have no end of accounts—or shall have before long—and we’ll make an item of it. Then you can arrange with Bernard afterwards.”
Mr. Dale as he got up to go away felt that he was beaten, but he did not know how to carry the battle any further on that occasion. He could not take out his purse and put down the cost of the horse on the table. “I will then speak to my nephew about it,” he said, very gravely, as he went away. And he did speak to his nephew about it, and even wrote to him more than once. But it was all to no purpose. Mr. Potts could not be induced to give a separate bill, and—so said Bernard—swore at last that he would furnish no account to anybody for horses that went to Mrs. Thorne’s door except to Mrs. Thorne herself.
That night Lily took leave of her uncle and remained at Mrs. Thorne’s house. As things were now arranged she would, no doubt, be in London when John Eames returned. If he should find her in town—and she told herself that if she was in town he certainly would find her—he would, doubtless, repeat to her the offer he had so often made before. She never ventured to tell herself that she doubted as to the answer to be made to him. The two letters were written in the book, and must remain there. But she felt that she would have had more courage for persistency down at Allington than she would be able to summon to her assistance up in London. She knew she would be weak, should she be found by him alone in Mrs. Thorne’s drawing-room. It would be better for her to make some excuse and go home. She was resolved that she would not become his wife. She could not extricate herself from the dominion of a feeling which she believed to be love for another man. She had given a solemn promise both to her mother and to John Eames that she would not marry that other man; but in doing so she had made a solemn promise to herself that she would not marry John Eames. She had sworn it and would keep her oath. And yet she regretted it! In writing home to her mother the next day, she told Mrs. Dale that all the world was speaking well of John Eames—that John had won for himself a reputation of his own, and was known far and wide to be a noble fellow. She could not keep herself from praising John Eames, though she knew that such praise might, and would, be used against her at some future time. “Though I cannot love him I will give him his due,” she said to herself.
“I wish you would make up your mind to have an ‘it’ for yourself,” Emily Dunstable said to her again that night; “a nice ‘it’, so that I could make a friend, perhaps a brother, of him.”
“I shall never have an ‘it’, if I live to be a hundred,” said Lily Dale.
CHAPTER LIII
Rotten Row
Lily had heard nothing as to the difficulty about her horse, and could therefore enjoy her exercise without the drawback of feeling that her uncle was subjected to an annoyance. She was in the habit of going out every day with Bernard and Emily Dunstable, and their party was generally joined by others who would meet them at Mrs. Thorne’s house. For Mrs. Thorne was a very hospitable woman, and there were many who liked well enough to go to her house. Late in the afternoon there would be a great congregation of horses before the door—sometimes as many as a dozen; and then the cavalcade would go off into the Park, and there it would become scattered. As neither Bernard nor Miss Dunstable were unconscionable lovers, Lily in these scatterings did not often find herself neglected or lost. Her cousin would generally remain with her, and as in those days she had no “it” of her own she was well pleased that he should do so.
But it so happened that on a certain afternoon she found herself riding in Rotten Row alone with a certain stout gentleman whom she constantly met at Mrs. Thorne’s house. His name was Onesiphorus Dunn, and he was actually called Siph by his intimate friends. It had seemed to Lily that everybody was an intimate friend of Mr. Dunn’s, and she was in daily fear lest she should make a mistake and call him Siph herself. Had she done so it would not have mattered in the least. Mr. Dunn, had he observed it at all, would neither have been flattered or angry. A great many young ladies about London did call him Siph, and to him it was quite natural that they should do so. He was an Irishman, living on the best of everything in the world, with apparently no fortune of his own, and certainly never earning anything. Everybody liked him, and it was admitted on all sides that there was no safer friend in the world, either for young ladies or young men, than Mr. Onesiphorus Dunn. He did not borrow money, and he did not encroach. He did like being asked out to dinner, and he did think that they to whom he gave the light of his countenance in town owed him the return of a week’s run in the country. He neither shot, nor hunted nor fished, nor read, and yet he was never in the way in any house. He did play billiards, and whist, and croquet—very badly. He was a good judge of wine, and would occasionally condescend to look after the bottling of it on behalf of some very intimate friend. He was a great friend of Mrs. Thorne’s, with whom he always spent ten days in the autumn at Chaldicotes.
Bernard and Emily were not insatiable lovers, but nevertheless, Mrs. Thorne had thought it proper to provide a fourth in the riding-parties, and had put Mr. Dunn upon this duty. “Don’t bother yourself about it, Siph,” she had said; “only if those lovers should go off philandering out of sight, our little country lassie might find herself to be nowhere in the Park.” Siph had promised to make himself useful, and had done so. There had generally been so large a number in their party that the work imposed on Mr. Dunn had been very light. Lily had never found out that he had been especially consigned to her as her own cavalier, but had seen quite enough of him to be aware that he was a pleasant companion. To her, thinking, as she ever was thinking, about Johnny Eames, Siph was much more agreeable than might have been a younger man who would have endeavoured to make her think about himself.
Thus when she found herself riding alone in Rotten Row with Siph Dunn, she was neither disconcerted nor displeased. He had been talking to her about Lord De Guest, whom he had known—for Siph knew everybody—and Lily had begun to wonder whether he knew John Eames. She would have liked to hear the opinion of such a man about John Eames. She was making up her mind that she would say something about the Crawley matter—not intending of course to mention John Eames’s name—when suddenly her tongue was paralysed and she could not speak. At that moment they were standing near a corner, where a turning path made an angle in the iron rails, Mr. Dunn having proposed that they should wait there for a few minutes before they returned home, as it was probable that Bernard and Miss Dunstable might come up. They had been there for some five or ten minutes, and Lily had asked her first question about the Crawleys—inquiring of Mr. Dunn whether he had heard of a terrible accusation which had been made against a clergyman in Barsetshire—when on a sudden her tongue was paralysed. As they were standing, Lily’s horse was turned towards the diverging path, whereas Mr. Dun was looking the other way, towards Achilles and Apsley house. Mr. Dunn was nearer to the railings, but though they were thus looking different ways they were so placed that each could see the face of the other. Then, on a sudden, coming slowly towards her along the diverging path and leaning on the arm of another man, she saw—Adolphus Crosbie.
She had never seen him since a day on which she had parted from him with many kisses—with warm, pressing, eager kisses—of which she had been nowhat ashamed. He had then been to her almost as her husband. She had trusted him entirely, and had thrown herself into his arms with full reliance. There is often much of reticence on the part of a woman towards a man to whom she is engaged, something also of shamefacedness occasionally. There exists a shadow of doubt, at least of that hesitation which shows that in spite of vows the woman knows that a change may come, and that provision for such possible steps backward should always be within her reach. But Lily had cast all such caution to the winds. She had given herself to the man entirely, and had determined that she would sink or swim, stand or fall, live or die, by him and by his truth. He had been as false as hell. She had been in his arms, clinging to him, kissing him, swearing that her only pleasure in the world was to be with him—with him, her treasure, her promised husband; and within a month, a week, he had been false to her. There had come upon her crushing tidings, and she had for days wondered at herself that they had not killed her. But she had lived, and had forgiven him. She had still loved him, and had received new offers from him, which had been answered as the reader knows. But she had never seen him since the day on which she had parted from him at Allington, without a doubt as to his faith. Now he was before her, walking on the footpath, almost within reach of her whip.
He did not recognise her, but as he passed on he did recognise Mr. Onesiphorus Dunn, and stopped to speak to him. Or it might have been that Crosbie’s friend Fowler Pratt stopped with this special object—for Siph Dunn was an intimate friend of Fowler Pratt’s. Crosbie and Siph were also acquainted, but in those days Crosbie did not care much for stopping his friends in the Park or elsewhere. He had become moody and discontented, and was generally seen going about the world alone. On this special occasion he was having a little special conversation about money with his very old friend Fowler Pratt.
“What, Siph, is this you? You’re always on horseback now,” said Fowler Pratt.
“Well, yes; I have gone in a good deal for cavalry work this last month. I’ve been lucky enough to have a young lady to ride with me.” This he said in a whisper, which the distance of Lily justified. “How d’ye do, Crosbie? One doesn’t often see you on horseback, or on foot either.”
“I’ve something to do besides going to look or to be looked at,” said Crosbie. Then he raised his eyes and saw Lily’s side-face, and recognised her. Had he seen her before he had been stopped on his way I think he would have passed on, endeavouring to escape observation. But as it was, his feet had been arrested before he knew of her close vicinity, and now it would seem that he was afraid of her, and was flying from her, were he at once to walk off, leaving his friend behind him. And he knew that she had seen him, and had recognised him, and was now suffering from his presence. He could not but perceive that it was so from the fixedness of her face, and from the constrained manner in which she gazed before her. His friend Fowler Pratt had never seen Miss Dale, though he knew very much of her history. Siph Dunn knew nothing of the history of Crosbie and his love, and was unaware that he and Lily had ever seen each other. There was thus no help near her to extricate her from her difficulty.
“When a man has any work to do in the world,” said Siph, “he always boasts of it to his acquaintance, and curses his luck to himself. I have nothing to do and can go about to see and be seen—and I must own that I like it.”
“Especially the being seen—eh, Siph?” said Fowler Pratt. “I also have nothing on earth to do, and I come here every day because it is as easy to do that as to go anywhere else.”
Crosbie was still looking at Lily. He could not help himself. He could not take his eyes from off her. He could see that she was as pretty as ever, that she was but very little altered. She was, in truth, somewhat stouter than in the old days, but of that he took no special notice. Should he speak to her? Should he try to catch her eye and then raise his hat? Should he go up to her horse’s head boldly, and ask her to let bygones be bygones? He had an idea that of all courses which he could pursue that was the one which she would approve the best—which would be most efficacious for him, if with her anything from him might have any efficacy. But he could not do it. He did not know what words he might best use. Would it become him humbly to sue to her for pardon? Or should he strive to express his unaltered love by some tone of his voice? Or should he simply ask her after her health? He made one step towards her, and he saw that the face became more rigid and more fixed than before, and then he desisted. He told himself that he was simply hateful to her. He thought that he could perceive that there was no tenderness mixed with her unabated anger.
At this moment Bernard Dale and Emily came close upon him, and Bernard saw him at once. It was through Bernard that Lily and Crosbie had come to know each other. He and Bernard Dale had been fast friends in old times, and had, of course, been bitter enemies since the day of Crosbie’s treachery. They had never spoken since, though they had often seen each other, and Dale was not at all disposed to speak to him now. The moment that he recognised Crosbie he looked across to his cousin. For an instant, an idea flashed across him that he was there by her permission—with her assent; but it required no second glance to show him that this was not the case. “Dunn,” he said, “I think we will ride on,” and he put his horse into a trot. Siph, whose ear was very accurate, and who knew that something was wrong, trotted on with him, and Lily, of course, was not left behind. “Is there anything the matter?” said Emily to her lover.
“Nothing specially the matter,” he replied; “but you were standing in company with the greatest blackguard that every lived, and I thought we had better change our ground.”
“Bernard!” said Lily, flashing on him with all the fire which her eyes could command. Then she remembered that she could not reprimand him for the offence of such abuse in such a company; so she reined in her horse and fell a-weeping.
Siph Dunn, with his wicked cleverness, knew the whole story at once, remembering that he had once heard something of Crosbie having behaved very ill to someone before he married Lady Alexandra De Courcy. He stopped his horse also, falling a little behind Lily, so that he might not be supposed to have seen her tears, and began to hum a tune. Emily also, though not wickedly clever, understood something of it. “If Bernard says anything to make you angry, I will scold him,” she said. Then the two girls rode on together in front, while Bernard fell back with Siph Dunn.
“Pratt,” said Crosbie, putting his hand on his friend’s shoulder as soon as the party had ridden out of hearing, “do you see that girl there in the dark blue habit?”
“What, the one nearest to the path?”
“Yes; the one nearest to the path. That is Lily Dale.”
“Lily Dale!” said Fowler Pratt.
“Yes; that is Lily Dale.”
“Did you speak to her?” Pratt asked.
“No; she gave me no chance. She was there but a moment. But it was herself. It seems so odd to me that I should have been thus so near her again.” If there was any man to whom Crosbie could have spoken freely about Lily Dale it was this man, Fowler Pratt. Pratt was the oldest friend he had in the world, and it had happened that when he first woke to the misery that he had prepared for himself in throwing over Lily and betrothing himself to his late wife, Pratt had been the first person to whom he had communicated his sorrow. Not that he had ever been really open in his communications. It was not given to such men as Crosbie to speak openly of themselves to their friends. Nor, indeed, was Fowler Pratt one who was fond of listening to such tales. He had no such tales to tell of himself, and he thought that men and women should go through the world quietly, not subjecting themselves or their acquaintances to anxieties and emotions from peculiar conduct. But he was conscientious, and courageous also as well as prudent, and he had dared to tell Crosbie that he was behaving very badly. He had spoken his mind plainly, and had then given all the assistance in his power.
He paused a moment before he replied, weighing, like a prudent man, the force of the words he was about to utter. “It is much better as it is,” he said. “It is much better that you should be as strangers for the future.”
“I do not see that at all,” said Crosbie. They were both leaning on the rails, and so they remained for the next twenty minutes. “I do not see that at all.”
“I feel sure of it. What could come of any renewed intercourse—even if she would allow it?”
“I might make her my wife.”
“And do you think that you would be happy with her, or she with you, after what has passed?”
“I do think so.”
“I do not. It might be possible that she should bring herself to marry you. Women delight to forgive injuries. They like the excitement of generosity. But she could never forget that you had had a former wife, or the circumstances under which you were married. And as for yourself, you would regret it after the first month. How could you ever speak to her of your love without speaking also of your shame? If a man does marry he should at least be able to hold up his head before his wife.”
This was very severe, but Crosbie showed no anger. “I think I should do so,” he said—”after a while.”