The Chronicles of Winterset: Oracle (19 page)

Chapter 39

He stared, waiting for me to speak.

“The Master needs me to bind with the Nihilist, right?” I asked delicately, licking my lips nervously. “Well, what if … what if he can’t make that happen?”

“He will make it happen if he gets you, Ana,” Calix interjected. “If Zaros gets to you, then it’s game over.”

“I know,” I continued slowly. “But what if I’m not around?”

“Ana, while the idea of staying hidden is a great one, I don’t think it will work for long. He’s been planning this for a long time. We won’t even be able to stay here for much longer. He will find you.”

“I know, and that’s the problem, right? But what if I’m not here to be found?”

Calix looked at me, the confusion evident on his face.

“I’m not following you, sweetheart,” he said, shaking his head, his dark locks falling into his eyes.

“What if I died?” I breathed out painfully, the thought one that was all too frightening.

“What?! Are you kidding me, Ana?” Calix jumped up from the couch like I’d set him on fire.

“If I’m dead, he can’t get to me, Calix! It’s the only way!”

“Like hell it is,” Calix growled, coming at me and grasping my face firmly in his hands. “No, Ana. Get that thought out of your head right now!”

“Calix,” I said, wrapping my hands around his. “You know it’s the only way.”

“No,” he said fiercely, a muscle twitching in his jaw. “There are other ways, Ana. There have to be. Your death won’t be what you think it is.”

“What are the other ways, then? Because the way I see it, we’re at a dead end! With me o-out of the picture,” I stammered, my stomach rolling. “There’s no Oracle. If there’s no Oracle, then the binding can’t happen. And if that can’t happen, Zaros won’t have all the pieces. He can be fought and beaten if I’m not around! Admit it, Calix! It’s a way out.”

“No,” he responded, his voice small and vulnerable. “No, Ana. It’s a way out of one life. It is not the answer you seek. Believe me.”

“Will you help me?” I pressed on, not caring about his cryptic words as a tear slipped out of my eyes. “Please, Calix?”

If I had to die, I wanted it to be at the hands of the one I loved, and I had to face facts. I loved him.

“No,” he replied again, his voice shaking with sadness. “I will not, Ana. It is a way out, but I won’t help you do it. Just the thought...”

He turned away from me and walked to the large picture window, where he stood staring out into the darkness. He remained silent, and I noticed his shoulders shake a little.

“Calix?” I asked gently, coming up behind him.

“I love you, Ana,” he said, turning around, a tear slipping down his cheek. “I’m in love with you and have been since the moment I laid eyes on you. I have done terrible things to be here in this moment with you. I will not be the one to end your life. It can’t be me.”

“Calix, I love you too,” I replied, falling into his arms and holding him tight.

“Then don’t talk like this anymore, OK? We need you. I need you as you are now.”

I nodded and felt his body relax against mine. I wouldn’t talk like that anymore. But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t still think about it.

It was the means to an end.

Chapter 40

“She’s gone,” Kellin’s worried voice rang out through the dense fog.

“How could you lose the Oracle!” an enraged voice shouted, and I narrowed my eyes in an attempt to see who was speaking.

“I failed. I was caught up in my feelings, and I lost her. I’m sorry. I will find her. I swear it.”

“Seventeen Earth Realm years you have stood by and watched her! And now, when she is needed the most, you’ve lost her? I trusted you with her!”

“I am sorry,” Kellin murmured.

The voices faded away, and I was swept to the clifftop again.

I watched myself from a distance as I walked to the edge of the cliff, my long blonde hair whipping behind me. I was wearing the white dress from my previous vision. My face was stricken with sadness, and tears rolled down my porcelain cheeks in waves, my black mascara following in a dark trail.

I stopped at the edge of the cliff and looked out to the horizon then closed my eyes.

A means to an end.

The sentence caressed my mind, and I embraced it, wanting it, needing it.

Jump.

The word was a whisper on the wind.

Jump.

In my head, pressing me, demanding.

Jump!

“Yes,” I whispered, my eyes closed.

I was now the girl on the edge of the cliff. I felt my heart hammering painfully in my chest, and I raked in a deep breath, my last effort at life.

I held out my arms and fell to the jagged rocks below, a peaceful fall, the cold wind whipping through my tangled blonde hair.

For someone so close to death, I’d never felt so alive.

I knew the cold, cruel stop was fast approaching, and my heart rate picked up. I let out a scream, my lungs aching as my final cries filled the evening air.

“Ana! Ana!”

Calix was shaking me through my screams. When I opened my eyes, he was staring at me, a terrified expression on his handsome face.

“It’s a dream. Just a dream,” he said, pulling me close to him. “Are you OK? What did you see?”

“They aren’t all dreams, Calix,” I said shakily. “It is the future, and I can’t run from it.”

“Talk to me,” he said painfully, holding me tighter. “What did you see? Who did you see?”

“I-I heard Kellin,” I said, trying to regain my composure. “I think he works for Zaros.”

“Kellin?” Calix asked, pulling away from me, his eyes narrowed. “Why do you think that?”

“Because he was getting scolded for losing me. Whoever it was, they were very angry at him, and he kept apologizing for it.”

“I see,” Calix said, sitting back and releasing me.

“He’s coming to find me. Soon. I can feel it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I answered resolutely.

“What else?” Calix pressed.

“N-nothing. There’s nothing else,” I replied, not wanting to tell him about jumping. I wanted to save him the pain of knowing I’d not only seen it once, but twice now.

Calix eyed me skeptically but didn’t pursue the subject.

“Let’s sleep. If Kellin is coming, we’re going to need to be prepared, and that means even harder work tomorrow,” Calix said, pulling me to him.

I obliged and closed my eyes, his arms tight around me.

“Everything is going to be OK, Ana,” he whispered. “Trust in me. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I replied.

I only hoped love was enough to get us out of this mess.

Chapter 41

We awoke early and ate a quick breakfast, followed by a morning of grueling fighting stances, flame wielding, and one-sided dueling.

I was barely able to conjure a flame. Calix would shoot ice shard after ice shard at me. He was unforgiving in his attacks, too, citing that when I came face to face with my enemies, they wouldn’t go easy on me.

By lunch, I was an exhausted mess, my hair tangled and spots of dirt on my face.

“Can we be done?” I groaned as we finished lunch and made our way back out to the yard.

“Absolutely not,” Calix said firmly.

I mumbled irritably at him and stood my ground as he began his onslaught again.

I was stumbling through the moves he’d taught me when I felt a sudden pull in the center of my chest. It went from a pull to my body demanding it.

I threw up my hands as a shard of dagger-like ice came spiraling at my head, and an incredible rush of wind whipped forward and knocked the ice aside, sending it careening into a nearby tree trunk.

I followed my instincts and twisted my hands. The wind increased and scooped Calix off the ground, sending him sailing into the air. He landed with a loud thump across the clearing, his arms and legs spread out at odd angles.

“Oh, my God! Calix!” I shouted, running over and falling to my knees beside him. His eyes were closed and his mouth was hanging open slightly.

“I’m so sorry! Please, answer me, Calix!” I panicked, shaking him roughly. When he didn’t respond, I laid my hands on his chest and felt every ounce of desire pour through me into healing him from whatever injuries I’d caused.

I cried throughout the entire process, the warmth flowing from my hands into his limp body.

“Why are you crying, Princess?” Calix’s voice interrupted me.

“Wha—, Calix? Oh my God!” I threw myself down on top of him and hugged him fiercely. “I thought I’d killed you! I thought you were dead!”

“It would take more than a gust of wind to kill me, sweetheart,” Calix chuckled, running his hands through my hair.

“Wait. Were you faking?” I asked, pulling away so I could look down at him.

“Well, I mean you clearly lifted me into the air with your newfound ability and tossed me over here. My elbow did hurt,” he continued, his eyes full of mischief.

“You faker!” I howled, leaping off of him. “You lying sack of monkey shi—”

His laughter cut off the rest of what I was going to shout.

“I said you hurt my elbow, Ana. And you healed it. Nice work, baby!”

“I should lift your ass fifty feet in the air and power slam you! I thought I’d killed you!” I shouted at him angrily.

“And now you want to try to kill me? Sweetheart, make up your mind! Do you want me safe and sound or laying broken on the ground?” He flashed a playful grin at me, and I rolled my eyes irritably at him.

“Right now, I’d like to smack you,” I grumbled.

“Don’t be upset. Do you realize what you just did?” Calix inquired.

I swallowed hard and looked at him. “I did just do that, didn’t I?” I yelped.

“You did! You’re getting it! You’re Transitioning, Ana! In a matter of days, you’ll come into all of your powers. How are you feeling?”

“Incredible,” I answered honestly. “I mean, I’m scared, but at least I might be able to fight.”

“I think this calls for a celebration,” Calix said, climbing to his feet. “I have just the thing, too.”

He took my hand and pulled me inside the house, leaving me on the couch.

“Wait here,” he said with a wolfish grin and disappeared into the kitchen. I waited for him, my stomach dancing with butterflies.

“What do you think?” he asked, setting a plate of chocolate chip cookies down in front of me.

“Did you, I mean, how did you bake cookies without me knowing?” I asked through my surprised laughter.

“Well, I didn’t make them. I picked them up a few days ago,” he answered with a small laugh. “That Nabisco sure knows what he’s doing.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” I grinned at him as I bit into one of the soft cookies and let out a contented sigh. Even through all the madness, fear, and stress, a chocolate chip cookie could still calm me down like it did when I was five.

We sat and ate in silence until I asked a question that had been plaguing the back of my mind.

“Calix? The Sentries... um... both you and Kellin spoke of them. What are they exactly?”

“The Sentries are an elite group of warriors formed by the kings of Winterset. Only the best get in,” he answered, looking away from me and swallowing his cookie. “We are recruited based on our abilities.”

“And you’re one of them? And Kellin, too? How did you two not know each other?”

“The Sentries are secret and separate, Ana. We aren’t meant to know one another. It has always been that way. Naturally, a Xantharian Sentry would not know one from Bornia as we are kept secret from our neighboring kingdoms.”

“What do you do as a Sentry?”

“Whatever they tell us to,” he sighed. “It’s political, mostly. We watch and report back. We protect our realms. Everyone, the kings and rulers, pretend to be friends, but secretly everyone hates everyone else. We’re all liars deep down inside. We just do what we’re told, even if we disagree with it.”

“Do you... I mean have you ever...killed anyone?” I asked softly, placing my cookie back down on my plate.

“Yes,” Calix answered despondently. “I have.”

“Is it hard? To end a life? I mean, I might have to do it someday, and it scares me. Even if it is someone who is bad.”

“Don’t you think that maybe even the bad deserve to live? That perhaps they don’t have a choice in the matter?” Calix justified, his eyes watching me closely.

“By that definition, doesn’t everyone deserve to live? Even those the bad people are killing?”

“Do you want a perfect world, Ana? Because no such thing exists. You cannot rid the world of evil. Without it, there is no balance. Without balance, there is only chaos.”

“You think if the world was filled with good it would be chaos?” I asked in disbelief. “How would there be chaos?”

“Eventually, being a saint gets old. People get bored. We need the bad to make life worth living. It gives us something to overcome. How mundane would life be without evil? We’d tire of it and we would find ways to reinvent it,” he replied with a shrug.

“You sound an awful lot like someone who wants to set the world on fire for the sake of the heat,” I countered, feeling my face burn with my irritation.

“Well, we all want to be warm, don’t we?” he muttered, looking away from me. I shook my head incredulously at him but didn’t bother to continue the argument. We obviously had different views on the way the world should be.

“It’s hard at first,” Calix said in a soft voice, and my attention snapped back to him.

“To kill for the first time,” he continued. “It’s like most things in life that you do for the first time. You’re nervous. Your hands shake. Your heart hammers like a drum in your chest. Then the moment comes, and you become lost in it. All the fear, nerves, shaking leave your body, and you’re left with a hollow feeling echoing through your soul. You become empty. Nothing. The more you do it, the more lives you take, the more it takes a piece of your sanity with it. A piece of your own soul. At some point, you can’t come back from it, and you don’t deserve the air you breathe. You become a thief. You deserve nothing because you are nothing. Just like the dead.”

“Jesus,” I whispered, staring at him in horror.

“That’s not you, though, Ana. You are not a killer. You, my divine princess, are a savior,” he said, kneeling in front of me and looking earnestly up at me.

“Being a saint gets boring, though, remember?” I remarked faintly.

“Even a saint can sin,” Calix answered, gently touching my cheek with his hand. The electricity from his touch zinged along my flesh, and I shivered despite myself. His words were terrifying.

“I wouldn’t be much of a saint,” I said, staring back into his dark eyes.

“You’d be the perfect kind,” he replied softly, leaning in to place his warm lips on mine. I let out a sigh and kissed him back despite my fear over his words.

He had that uncontrollable effect on me.