The Clitoral Truth: The Secret World at Your Fingertips (2 page)

For more than 2,500 years the clitoris and the penis were considered equivalent in all respects except their arrangement. After

the eighteenth century, however, this knowledge was gradually suppressed and forgotten and the definition of the clitoris shrunk from an extensive organ system to a teeny pea-sized bump. The full extent of the clitoris was alluded to by Masters and Johnson in 1966, but in such a muddled fashion that the significance of their description became obscured. That same year, feminist psychiatrist Mary Jane Sherfey published an article about female sexuality that fleshed out the clitoris, as it were, and in 1981, the FFWHCs completed this process with anatomic precision.

The first chapter of
The Clitoral Truth
defines the male-centered, heterosexual model of sexuality, and determines what women have lost by having their sexuality defined against it. The heart of this chapter—and indeed the heart of the book—is a walking tour through our largely unknown genital anatomy based on the FFWHCs’ definition. During our tour, we will explore every nook and cranny of this fabulous organ and see how its many surprising parts work together to produce orgasms. From there, we will travel through history to learn how women’s genital anatomy has been defined through the ages to discover how such critical information about women’s anatomy got lost.

In recent years, the issue of female ejaculation has become a source of controversy among feminists, sexologists, and the general public. Initially the concept may seem wildly audacious, intended more to inspire debate than to impart knowledge, but, as we will see

in chapter 3, there is a sound anatomical basis for female ejaculation. Here you will meet women who ejaculate. in personal accounts that illuminate in explicit detail both how they experience it and how they feel about it. We will also visit the lost history of female ejaculation, discovering that it has, in fact, been described in the earliest sexuality advice manuals, and discussed in medical literature since the time of the ancient Greeks.

In addition to providing a more concrete understanding of women’s genital anatomy and sexual response, we will bear witness to the ways in which women have begun to transform male-centered sexuality by rewriting the intercourse “script” and expanding “sex” to include far more than penis-in-vagina sex play. In the 1970s, feminists salvaged masturbation from thousands of years of religious condemnation, promoting it as both a legitimate and primary act of self-loving, one of the key elements in women’s sexual self- discovery, and a component of partner lovemaking. In the section “A Short History of Masturbation” in chapter 4 we will also explore the history of social taboo, as well as religious and official sanctions against self-pleasuring, and see how women today are using vibrators, dildos, and other sex toys and fantasies to heighten their sexual experiences.

Finally, we will see how we can expand the definition of sex from the standard foreplay-intercourse ideal to a far broader concept of sexuality that emphasizes full-body pleasure. You will meet women

who have attended workshops designed to help actualize this goal, and I will share the positive experiences I’ve had.

The task of transforming the male-centered model of sexuality and developing a more equitable ideal is a challenging endeavor. It requires, in part, reclaiming information about women’s bodies and sexual response that has been lost or ignored under the antique phallocentric model. It also demands a broader understanding of what sexuality is and isn’t, that it isn’t just mood, body parts, revealing underwear, and orgasms. It’s a part of who we are as sentient human beings, and it varies from person to person, culture to culture. Constructing a new model requires a thorough evaluation of the psychological, social, and biological facets of sexuality.

While the larger part of sexuality is certainly psychological,
The Clitoral Truth
focuses on the physical aspects of pleasure. The text and illustrations are designed to give women and their partners information, tools, resources, and ideas about how to understand and expand their sexual interests and potential. To create a more equitable framework for the physical elements of sexuality, men must modify their socialized model of stimulation-erection- ejaculation, which works very well for them, but has been shown in study after study to be far less effective for women. The key is that men must be willing to learn some degree of ejaculatory control. Perhaps the biggest step in constructing a new vision of sexuality is

for women to develop a stronger sense of themselves as independent sexual beings and assume a sense of sexual agency that has for so long been solely the birthright of men.

This is not a relationship book, although many relationships may be sexually enlivened and deepened through use of the information it provides. It is a book about our physical bodies and the significant part they play in the larger symphony of sexuality.

1

MALE-CENTERED SEXUALITY

A Full Frontal View

Despite three decades of activism since the 1960s, the perception of women’s sexuality as less powerful, compelling, and profound than that of men is soil almost universal. Since ancient Greece, men’s bodies—with their sculpted muscles, visible genitals, and ready sexual response —have been perceived as the perfection of beauty. Set against this ideal, women’s bodies—with their hidden genitals, softer flesh, and slower sexual response—have been viewed as imperfect. Today, men’s sexual anatomy is still thought to be far mom extensive and active than women’s. Ejaculation and the single

explosive orgasm are still seen as emblematic of men’s superior sexual prowess, their sexual fantasies are thought to be more active and rewarding, and their need for sex more intense than women’s.

From as far back as the Kinsey report in 1953, intercourse has not been found not to be the most effective means for women to experience the full range of their sexual response, and yet, penis-in- vagina sex remains ne plus ultra of sexual activity.
1
Other methods of achieving orgasm and sexual pleasure for women are considered second rate, not “real” sex. If we learned anything from President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, it’s that most people still equate sex with intercourse. And men are seen as the sole possessors of the right to define and practice sex in ways that please them.

This male-centered concept of sexuality has been in existence for so long that we lack even the most basic vocabulary to describe our genital anatomy. Many women still think of their genitals as “down there” or make up pet names for them instead of directly referring to them with pride.

Most of today’s sex advice books provide cartoon versions of women’s genitals;
The New Joy of Sex
doesn’t even have an entry for the clitoris. Even among anatomists and sexologists, there is an astonishing lack of agreement over what actually constitutes women’s genital anatomy. Indeed, women’s sexual expression has been profoundly suppressed by the male-centered intercourse ideal. Vaginal intercourse has been singled out as the only valid sexual

activity, and heterosexuality has been promoted as the only genuinely approved norm. According to this line of reasoning, the sexual practices of lesbians and gay men are condemned as not “real” sex. Our concept of sex has become so male-defined that the single orgasm has become the gold standard for women’s sexual response, and orgasm is often considered “optional” despite many women’s ability to have multiple orgasms. In spite of countless historical references, studies, and anecdotal evidence, female ejaculation—the most dramatic of women’s sexual secretions—is routinely dismissed by sexologists and physicians, and remains wildly controversial. It’s no wonder that we often hear women’s sexuality characterized as “mysterious,” “perplexing,’ or “unknowable.”

Clearly a revolution is in order. As I see it, this revolution must provide women with accurate and comprehensive information about their bodies and sexual response. Sexuality education and sex advice literature must offer a broader definition of what constitutes “sex,” and promote a wider range of sexually pleasurable activities that enable women to have an equitable share of physically and emotionally rewarding sex. We must empower women to develop a stronger sense of self as social and sexual beings so that we may all be free to act assertively on our sexual desires. And finally, we must investigate the many social and psychological facets of sexuality to better under stand their place and value in our lives.

A DEARTH OF WORDS

We’ve looked at sex through the phallocentric lens for long that we don’t even have a vocabulary to describe our genital anatomy and articulate sexual experiences. Psychologist Carol Tavris writes that “in spite of living in a culture that seems sexually obsessed, many women still do not even accurately name their genitals. At best, little girls are taught that they have a vagina, which becomes the word for every thing ‘down there’; they rarely learn they also have a vulva and clitoris. (Men have many words for their genitals, and none of them are vague.)” Tavris quotes writer Lucy Bland, who observes that “we face a past and a present in which there has never been a language allowing us to think about and define women’s sexuality,”
2
A passage from
The Diary of Anne Frank
dated March 24, 1944—initially censored by Anne’s father—poignantly illustrates the struggle that many women of all ages endure while trying to

understand their bodies arid their sexuality.

I’d like to ask Peter (Peter Van Daan who, along with his family, joined the Ginks in hiding in the Secret Annex) whether he knows what girls look like down there. I don’t think boys are as complicated as girls. You can easily see what boys look like in photographs or pictures of male nudes, but with women it’s different. In women, the genitals, or whatever they’re called, are hidden between their legs. Peter has probably never seen a girl up

close. To tell you the truth, neither have I. Boys are a lot easier. How on earth would I go about describing a girls parts? I can tell from what he said that he doesn’t know exactly how it all fits together. He was talking about the “
Muttermund
” (cervix), but that’s on the inside, where you can’t see it. Everything’s pretty well arranged in us women. Until I was eleven or twelve, I didn’t realize there was a second set of labia on the inside, since you couldn’t see them. What’s even funnier is that I thought urine came out of the clitoris. I asked Mother one time what that little bump was, and she said she didn’t know. She can really play dumb when she wants to!... But to get back to the subject. How on earth can you explain what it all looks like without any models? Shall I try anyway? Okay, here goes!... When you’re standing up, all you see from the front is hair. Between your legs there are two soft, cushiony things, also covered with hair, which press together when you’re standing, so you can’t see what’s inside. They separate when you sit down, and they’re very red and quite fleshy on the inside. In the upper part, between the outer labia, there’s a fold of skin that, on second thought, looks like a kind of blister. That’s the clitoris. Then came the inner labia, which are also pressed together in a kind of crease. When they open up, you can see a fleshy little mound, no bigger than the top of my thumb. The upper part has a couple of small holes in it, which is where the urine comes out. The lower part looks as if it were just skin, and yet that’s where the vagina is. You can barely find it, because the folds of skin hide the opening. The hole’s so small I can hardly imagine how a man could get in there,

much less how a baby could come out. It’s hard enough trying to get your index finger inside. That’s all there is, and yet it plays such an important role!
3

Anne Frank, who died at Bergen-Belsen, a Nazi prison camp, just before her sixteenth birthday, is renowned for her precocity about culture, politics, and human nature. In this long-expurgated passage from her diary, we discover a young woman in total isolation who has no peer models or parental support, struggling to comprehend her sexual self. One gets the feeling that Anne would have been eager to learn about the interior, secret parts of the clitoris if only she had been afforded the chance. This passage reveals that she did know a tremendous amount about her genitals, which given the time, circumstance, and her age, is truly remarkable. Today most girls her age couldn’t name half of these parts accurately.

As you will see, we will find this missing information so that we can have a vocabulary to describe our genital anatomy, make sense of our sexual experiences, discover how to enhance them, and under stand where orgasms come from.