The Collected Poems of Ted Berrigan (55 page)

like sunlight

But every night I sleep

going

to dawn like light.

Here I live                                   my heart

my family

assemble.

Three counts.

Sun

clear

Time

my war

God

did it start.

One              Two                   Three               Four.

One

Two

Three

&

Sleep.

I love you much

as one can

love anybody

baby,

but

riding high a man is

tough as it comes,

It’s not brutal.

It’s a song.

For Love.

Of You.

FOR DON HALL

Leaving first

On my way,

“Ave Atque Valium”

20 mgs.

& coffee

Thanks to the Air Hostess

dark eyes                               dark hair

red lips

full

Red Nose in the air

A passing thought to John Sinclair

à la bas

Right On, John

We see you down there

from here

up in the air

it’s the same air

as one breathes in

&

one breathes out . . .

“Down to you is Up”

 . . . in between

here             and              there

&

here.

2.

The Prison Poems of Ho Chi Minh

Lunch Poems / In Memory Of My Feelings

Meditations in An Emergency

Advertisements For Myself

The Sweet Science

The Press

An American Dream

Mollie
&

Other War Stories

Joe Liebling, Frank & Norman

ride with us

here.

3.

Change is in my pocket:

A John Kennedy American

half-dollar:

heads:  Philip Whalen

tails:    John Ashbery

(that’s an old-master story)

flip it

it’s in the air

The game is underway:

“Winning is my philosophy”

“Preparedness is the

only means toward Victory”

“Not Somehow

but

Triumphantly”

(that’s the motto of The Salvation Army)

“There’s a new day coming”

& if it’s a nice day, we win

& if it’s a stormy day,

can you dig it?

flying, under the weather

dig it

Fly Over

Fly Straight through

Fly big Baby, Fly!!

To The 2nd City.

Bye-bye.

I am asleep

next to The Hulk

warm behind,

inside,

all around me

Oranges,

soft purples,

greens, blue

Underneath & above

wooden planks

furniture,

Sky,

big sky,

all around the tree.

It’s a house-tree.

You feel at home here

in the nut-bush.

First asleep

next going into heat

a stinging shower

& then,

cooled, with a buzz on.

The Hulk is breathing easily now

as her graceful form

moves purposefully into everyday life.

The Hulk

often sleeps

while I’m awake

& vice-versa

& vice-versa.

No matter.

We live together in the jungle.

Rain falling through the blue

across the street

near to me, & close to you; &

that’s where I’ll be today

walking St. Mark’s Place toward Grand Central

that place

the only place we ever get together, me & you

Soot-

covered parti-colored trains come & go

out & in, the heart leaps

to its daily declarations

of love & death (poetry), beating

the ordinary day’s traffic to somewhere,

beating

my heart’s morning yearning for nowhere,

with windows,

upon which the early morning rain,

joining in

joins you to me, simply flowing,

now singing, now

saying, “hello!”, now hoping

this trip prove true

&

now, in clean air, cleanly breathing, sounds

Somebody knows everything so

It doesn’t make any difference,

what you do

So, do anything you want,

it’s all right

You can do it. Just do it,

right?

The guards tense, the centers jump

The fur flies! A Jickey laughs

It’s sloppy going, tho, Careless Love

So to speak: can’t see it; can’t believe it

Can’t read it even: not together

A bit busy: bemused by the weather

How it simply takes place, & had character

A clear & an open face, clearly true

To conditions as they do exist; & so

Now a day is unpleasant because no fun

Tho it does keep going on: that’s how it goes

It’s draggy, it’s torture, it’s tedious

Right from the very beginning, it loses you

And as we discover later reading
The Daily News

When it’s all over, “Both Sides Lose.”

It’s impossible to take a bath in this house

because I am the house-guest & the bath-room

is of the house. It’s difficult not to lie, constantly

on the beds. It is not difficult to read, “The Groupie”

“Thongs”, “Ball Four”, “The Jocks”, & “Teen-Age Sex.”

It’s quite difficult to jack off: God knows why. But,

It is possible to fuck a lot; lying, sitting, kneeling, standing

or simply thrashing about the beds. If you don’t believe me,

just ask ______. To continue: in this house

it’s a simple matter to swallow the cough syrup (codeine): to swallow

the capsules (pills) or even the spansules is even simpler:

It is not quite so simple to stick the needle into the vein.

This requires a certain amount of practice; and Witch Hazel

Can be helpful, to cover the tracks & in healing the sore arms.