The Collected Works of Chögyam Trungpa Collected Works: Volume Two (13 page)

So students are given as much assistance as possible, which consists in showing them the path. Showing the path in a down-to-earth, practical way is traditionally known as “grandmother’s finger-pointing.” The grandmother is old and wise and knows how to handle the details of life, and she points with her finger and tells you to do this and this and this. “Grandmother’s finger-pointing” is a particular term of the Kagyü tradition of Buddhism in Tibet. Showing you how to do it in this way is the closest we can get to helping you along the path.

But there is a need for some acknowledgment and some willingness on the part of the student. You have to be willing to follow the grandmother’s finger-pointing. If that is the case, then the next question is quite obviously, what are we going to do? The answer is, practice meditation.

There are two types of meditation practice. One is called
shamatha
, which means “development of peace.” The other is called
vipashayana
, which means “development of insight.” We discussed that in basic out-line in the last talk. We cannot develop complete vipashyana unless we have some background as to what shamatha is all about. In terms of the metaphor of the tree we used earlier, shamatha is not cutting the branches or leaves of the tree. That comes much later. Before we do that, we have to acknowledge the basic tree
ness
—the branchness, the leafness—how the whole setup is seen and experienced. That is an important prerequisite for vipashyana. We can’t skip that point. We must discuss that before we discuss vipashyana, the development of insight.

In shamatha, there is a meditative technique, which involves working on a natural resource—breath, your breathing. We start with your breathing. That is always available, as long as you are alive. You always have your breath as you always have your heartbeat, whether you are excited or you are asleep or you are in a normal state. You always have to breathe.

Your breathing is the closest you can come to a picture of your mind. It is the portrait of your mind in some sense. It goes in and goes out—it sort of fertilizes itself so that the next breath can take place. It is not a stationary object. It moves and it stops and it moves again. It sustains the body; it is a source of life. Also it is the source of your speech and the source of your thinking. If your heartbeat stops, your breath stops, you can’t think, you drop dead. So the breath is a statement of life and a statement of the mind at the same time. In order to eat, to smell food and chew it, you have to breathe. If you’re tired, you breathe heavier. If you’re relaxed, you breathe easy. If your neck is bent, you snore. If your sleeping posture is straight, you don’t snore. When you are hungry, you breathe in a special way; when you’re full, you breathe in a special way; when you feel happy, you breathe in a special way; when you feel sad, you breathe in a special way. Breath is changing constantly, but at the same time it constantly keeps its rhythm. Breath, which is yearning for space, stops at the end of the out-breath. By surrendering the breath, the yearning for space, at the end of the out-breath, you get more space. Therefore you can live longer—you can take the next breath. You have two kinds of space. There is the outer space as you breathe out. And before you breathe in, there’s a gap. You breathe in outer space, and then as you breathe in, you have another kind of space, which is the inner space within your bodily system. Then you have a gap and then you breathe out again. So there is action, stillness, action, stillness taking place constantly. Which is the portrait of your mind.

Therefore the breath is chosen as the basis for working on your practice of meditation. Working with the breath is recommended. The breath is not separate from you, but on the other hand, it is not quite you. Thus there are enigmatic qualities to the breath. And the same goes for your mind. Is your mind
your
mind? Maybe. But then what is you is uncertain. So we never actually come to a conclusion as to who is who or what is who. We just constantly hope for the best. Hopefully, we could survive, we could continue in this vague way.

You might be extremely articulate and precise and sharp, but still you have no idea where all this comes from, where all this goes. But the basic point here is just that the state of mind has to match with the breath, you have to relate with the breath. In the beginning stage of shamatha, you work with your breath, you don’t concentrate on your mind. That is impossible to do. Actually, concentrating on your breath is also impossible, because your breathing shifts and changes, and so does your mind. So in connection with shamatha, we prefer to use the word
mindfulness
rather than
concentration
.

Concentration has certain connotations. The idea seems to be that you focus on a particular object or a particular subject until you develop a complete photographic relationship with it; and then you can let go and the concentrated state of mind remains. This is very tiresome and very specialized and too industrious in some sense. Therefore Buddhist textbooks say that
concentration
is a dangerous word to use in connection with the practice of meditation. Instead we refer to this practice as mindfulness.

If you are fully with your mind, you could be there, on the spot. But at the same time, you do not have to focus your whole system on one point of reference. In fact there is a very interesting dichotomy here, which comes from the fact that you have no understanding of who
you
are. You don’t know who
you
are. You haven’t even got a clue, or that is the clue. Maybe we could use the clue as you. But that is as far as we get, rather than getting to the actuality of what
you
is all about. Therefore you cannot concentrate
your
mind. The closest you can come is to be mindful, mind full. The very vague state that exists, known as consciousness, has never seen itself, but it is there. It has never felt itself, but it moves, it happens. Now that state of what we call mind can be full. We can be mind full.

The Buddhist scriptures talk about resting or abiding in recollection. The best English equivalent of this is
mindfulness
. “Recollection” in this case does not mean dwelling on the past but being in the present. That flow that takes place—you could be with it.

Our present state of mind is based on a reference point. Without a reference point we can’t think, we can’t eat, we can’t sleep, we can’t behave. We have to have some reference point as to how to eat, when to stop eating, how to walk, when to stop walking, how to conduct our life—which way? This way, that way, the other way, some other way altogether. All those choices are guided by a reference point. “This is good to do, therefore I am doing this; this is not good to do, therefore I am doing that.” There are choices upon choices taking place constantly. Attending to those choices and their reference points is known as recollection,
smriti
in Sanskrit. This is not exactly bringing the past to the present, but still in order to be in the present, you need memory, which is an automatic thing.

Our mind functions that way usually—in terms of reference point, which equals memory. In making your body function, there are reference points all the time: stretching your arm, lifting your cup and bringing it toward your mouth, tilting it a little bit, drinking, then tasting and swallowing. As you lift and stretch your arm, you do not forget to hold the cup. There is a coordination taking place, which is entirely based on memory. Without that we can’t function. On that basis we have developed certain behavior patterns that make it possible for us to handle our lives. This coordination enables body and mind to be synchronized. And that synchronicity is based on a recollection of the present. Recollecting the present in this way is called being mindful. Mind in this case is equal to recollection. Being mindful is being there, fully minded. If you have a full mind, you have a full reference point. Therefore you are
there
. You relate directly to the present situation, which is precisely what meditation—shamatha practice—is all about. Just being there, very simply, directly; conducting yourself very precisely, relating very thoroughly and fully.

The reference point in shamatha is the breath. The traditional recommendation of the lineage of meditators that developed in the Kagyü-Nyingma tradition is based on the idea of mixing mind and breath. This means that you should be with the breath, you
are
the breath. Your breath goes out and you go out. Your breath dissolves into the atmosphere and you dissolve into the atmosphere. Then you just let go completely. You even forget meditation practice at that point. You just let go. There is a gap. Then naturally, automatically, physiologically, you breathe in. Let that be the gap. Then you breathe out again. Out, dissolve, gap. Go out again, dissolve, there’s a gap. Go out, dissolve, there’s a gap. You continue to proceed in that way.

There is a moment of space, the gap. We could say there’s a moment of weakness, if you like. The whole thing should not be too heroic. And then when you relate with the out-breath, there is a moment of strength. Then the moment of weakness: you dissolve, you have nothing to hang on to. Then you pick up doing something again—going out with the out-breath.

That is the basic technique of shamatha. It has to be very precise and direct.

Then there is walking meditation, which has also been recommended. You walk mindfully. You pay heed to, say, your right leg. As your weight shifts, the pressure releases, and the weight is put on the left leg. So your right leg is free, and then you lift it off the ground, swing it. Then it touches the ground, presses the ground as your weight is put on it, and your left leg is released. That is also very precise. One does not have to walk like a zombie in order to do that. You walk with a reasonable, natural rhythm; let it be natural, just as with the breath. When you walk that way, very precise decisions have to be taken: this is the time to put weight on this leg, then the other leg, and so on. So the whole process becomes very precise and very direct and very clear. At this point, you have no intention whatsoever in doing this. You are not thinking, “If I do this, I will attain enlightenment tomorrow.” You have no concern about anything else but doing your practice of sitting or walking meditation.

This is what is called discipline in the Buddhist tradition and patience as well. Participating in that ongoing process without purpose behind it. Students are advised to do this in a very orthodox way, to pay full attention. But this doesn’t mean that you have to be solemn or serious, particularly. If you are serious, that takes away your mindfulness. You get very busy being serious and you lose your mindfulness. Your mind has to be full, rather than one-eighth or one-hundredth. It has to be right there on the spot. We have the expression “mind your own business,” which means, “Leave me alone, let me be myself.” At this point you mind
your
business. Just be there, directly and simply be there.

To do that is to experience the leaves that exist on the tree. You begin to find out who you are somewhat, or who you are not. Whatever—that particular metaphysical problem doesn’t matter very much at this point. We can sort that out later.

What is your mind? Students might begin to think about this. As you practice, you might come to conclusions regarding hidden emotions that begin to come up to the surface like dead fish. And you might experience all kinds of contrasts in your point of view on the world, seeing it upside down, downside up. At one point, you might feel you are on top of the world; at another point, you might feel you are at the bottom of hell. The whole time the basic point is to be very precise.

This approach is not only for the sitting practice of meditation alone, which is heavily recommended, but it also applies after the sitting practice of meditation is over, to what is called the postmeditation experience. That is to say that your life and your commitment to the practice of meditation is not a matter of a patch here and a patch there that you are trying to sew together. Your life is committed to meditation overall, like a blanket. It is from twelve o’clock to twelve o’clock. Your life is completely infested with the practice of meditation. When you are eating, you eat. When you are washing your dishes, you are there with it, right on the spot. It is not a matter of trying to work with your breath and wash your dishes at the same time, which would be cumbersome, unnecessary. In the postmeditation, if you are washing your dishes, you do it properly, completely, fully. Be with that; be with the tap, with the water, be with the dirty dishes; be with your arms, your hands, your coordination with your mind. Be with the water and the faucet and the soap and the sponge. Let us be them together and make a good job of washing the dishes. It is a matter of being on the spot with everything that way. From that point of view, it is a life commitment, a twenty-four-hour job.

It has been said that you can’t practice meditation without postmeditation mindfulness. Mindfulness throughout our lives when we are not doing sitting practice is also a part of the practice of meditation. One has to have some kind of self-consciousness in order to lead one’s life properly, to be meditative.

Often the term
self-consciousness
is used pejoratively, which is not fair. Or we could say that there are different kinds of self-consciousness. One idea is that self-consciousness has to do with feeling guilty, feeling hurt, feeling pain. But that is not the kind of self-consciousness we are talking about. That kind of self-consciousness is a punishment to oneself. But that is more than self-consciousness. That is heavy-handed egotism. Something else is taking place there. The kind of self-consciousness we talk about in relation to awareness or mindfulness is just being yourself, simply. You possess two arms, you have a sink, you have dirty dishes, and you do a good job. Not for the sake of doing a good job. You just do it, and it turns out to be a good job by accident. That kind of
self-consciousness
is no problem. It is a way of handling yourself properly, being yourself. Once you take that kind of attitude, you just do it.