She groped for the lighter, then quickly walked to the front of the chapel, which was dotted with votive candles, a few burned down to the wick. A cigarette butt rested on the altar steps. She nudged it off with the toe of her boot.
“What are you doing on campus tonight, anyway?” she asked, trying to call attention away from her clumsiness as she carefully lit each votive. “Aren’t you going back to New York for the holidays?”
If Thomas heard her, he didn’t answer. The wicks of the candles popped and sizzled, illuminating a thick marble altar and the several rows of benches behind, probably meant for the choir.
“Thomas?” He was still at the back of the chapel, fiddling with a cell phone. After a few seconds, he snapped the phone closed and slipped it into Ariana’s bag.
“What are you doing with my phone?” she demanded. How dare he go through her stuff?
“Letting Ryan know to not expect you.”
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and headed down the aisle toward her.
Daniel
. Goosebumps prickled her skin at the sound of Daniel’s last name, and her throat was suddenly dry.
“What did you tell him?”
“Relax.” Thomas laughed. “Told him you didn’t finish your paper in time, and you couldn’t get out of town tonight.” He sat in front of the altar just a few steps below her and rubbed his hands quickly over his thighs. “So tonight, you’re all mine, naughty girl.”
Thomas sat down on a long wooden pew and pulled her down next to him, all in one swift motion. His blue eyes flashed in the candlelight, and warmth spread through Ariana’s body like hot wax.
I love you,
she thought. Then almost laughed at herself. How ridiculous—in love with Thomas Pearson. But she couldn’t stop her heart from pounding. Couldn’t stop her hands from grasping his jacket and pulling him to her. Didn’t want to be anywhere but right here with him in this dark, cold place, even while the perfect boy waited for her at an exclusive resort with his wonderful family and some elaborate gift undoubtedly hidden away in his luggage.
What was that, if not love?
Thomas cupped her face in both hands and kissed her, this time with less urgency. It was sweet, soft, searching. As if he wanted to slowly take in every inch of her. Daniel had never kissed her like this. Never made her feel beautiful like this. He was more mechanical, stiff. This kiss was warm. It was right. It was . . . perfect.
Ariana relaxed into the moment, taking everything in. The hiss of the flickering candles, the snow falling on the dilapidated roof . . .
The sound of the chapel door, creaking open. Slamming shut.
They were not alone.
Panic hardened in Ariana’s veins. She’d given in to herself for once in her life, done what felt right just one time, and she was about to get caught. What would her mother do when she found out Ariana had been expelled? She wasn’t strong enough for this, for the humiliation that would come. Ariana was sure of that. Sure she’d be responsible for the aftermath. She jumped up and reached for her coat, which had somehow made its way off her shoulders once again.
“Don’t stop on my account,” a familiar voice called out.
Tentative relief spread through Ariana’s body. Not a teacher. Not security. Thank God. She almost wanted to cry.
“Tate!” Thomas barked, jumping up. “You scared the shit out of us!”
Eli Tate, Thomas’s former roommate, ambled down the aisle in dark jeans and a hoodie, a crooked grin plastered on his face. Even though Eli lived just a couple towns over in Connecticut, he hadn’t been back to campus since his expulsion.
“Pearson!” Eli clasped hands with Thomas. “What’s up, loser?” He laughed. “Miss me?” He nodded in Ariana’s direction. “Hey.”
Ariana tried to speak, but her throat felt constricted, dry. She nodded, wiping her sweaty palms on her wool pants.
“What the fuck are you doing here, man?” Thomas demanded, resting his forearms on his knees as Eli dropped down next to him on the bench.
“Better question is, what are
you
two doing here?” Eli flashed his familiar, impish grin.
“Just hanging out,” Thomas said warily, catching Ariana’s eye. “Ariana had to stay behind for a couple days to finish up some things.”
“I bet,” Eli snorted, letting his eyes linger on Ariana.
“So really, what are you doing here?” she asked quickly.
“Needed a break, so I trained in from Greenwich,” he replied, stretching his arms over his head. “Evil stepsister number two is getting hitched next week, and if I had to sit around the house and hear one more screaming phone call to the florist, I was gonna lose it.” He pulled something from his jacket pocket and rolled it between his fingers, examining it carefully. Ariana tried not to look obvious as she craned her neck a little to see what it was. A joint. “Thought I’d come over to campus and hang out. Didn’t know you two were already staked out here.” He smirked, giving his wiry curls a shake. He picked up one of the votives and held it to the end of the joint. He inhaled deeply, then paused. A sickeningly sweet smell hovered around him. “Shame they’re tearing this place down.”
“Yeah,” Thomas said vaguely. “Shame.”
Ariana thought she saw the beginnings of a smile in his eyes, but she wasn’t sure. She had the sudden urge to tell Eli to leave. She’d gotten a taste of what being with Thomas was like, and she wanted more. Craved more. Her body still throbbed with anticipation, restless energy. She wanted Thomas alone. She needed to find out what could happen.
Eli passed the joint to Thomas. He closed his eyes and brought it to his lips. Ariana felt her body tensing. Would Thomas rather get high with Eli than spend time with her? He should have been thinking of ways to get Eli to leave. A spark of anger flared up inside of her.
Why did the men in her life always put her second? Her father, Daniel, Thomas. Why did she never come first?
“Ariana?” Thomas held the joint in her direction.
And just like that her irritation melted. He was still thinking of her, including her. Only she had never smoked before. It had never quite seemed
her
. But who the hell knew who she was, what she could do? Didn’t just being here prove that?
“Why not?” she said casually, taking the joint from Thomas and praying she would do it right. She pinched the joint between her thumb and index finger and inhaled, just like Eli and Thomas had done. Her lungs burned, and she doubled over in a coughing fit. She could feel her cheeks burning in embarrassment, and tears sprang to her eyes.
Nice try, loser,
a voice in her head taunted her.
Why do you even bother?
“You okay?” Thomas asked gently, reaching out and touching her knee. Now that his touch was pitying, she didn’t want it.
“M’fine,” she choked out, jerking her knee away from him.
“Whoa.” Eli laughed, propping himself up on his elbows. “Pearson’s really starting to rub off on you. Last year when we were all in Cabo you wouldn’t touch that shit. Remember? Gage did that prissy impression of her?” he asked, slapping Thomas on the shoulder.
Ariana’s face burned. No one had ever told her that Gage had mocked her after that incident.
“I didn’t go to Cabo last Christmas,” Thomas reminded him. “My parents made me go to Switzerland. Blake was skiing in that big tournament thing.”
“Riiiight. You missed one hell of a party, man,” Eli said. “But then, so did Ariana,” he said, nodding at her. “Girl refused to unclench the whole time.”
“Well, a lot can change in a year,” she snapped.
Although this one thing will stay the same.
She handed the joint back to Eli.
“Fair enough.” Eli shrugged, taking another hit.
“So how long are you planning on sticking around, Tate?” Thomas asked, shooting Ariana a meaningful glance. Her heart skipped a beat.
Eli shrugged. “Depends on how long I can get away with ducking out on this wedding shit.”
“It would probably mean a lot to your sister if you were there,” Ariana said flatly. If she had to carry him back to Greenwich herself, she would.
“Stepsister,” Eli corrected her. “And trust me, she doesn’t care if I’m there or not, so long as she gets her fucking white silk tent in Aruba.” He stood up, clapped Thomas on the back, and headed down the aisle for the door, the joint held tightly between his fingers.
“Are you leaving?” Ariana asked, aware that she sounded too hopeful.
“Gotta take a piss,” he called over his shoulder.
Something seemed wrong about saying the word
piss
in a chapel. Then again, something seemed wrong about hooking up in a chapel with a guy who wasn’t even her boyfriend. She wasn’t in much of a position to judge.
“We’ve got to ditch him. ASAP,” she whispered as the chapel doors slammed shut. She jumped to her feet, wrapping her coat tightly around her frame. “Get up.” She extended her hand toward Thomas, the cold rushing over her again. Her fingers were tinged a light blue, her nose and ears completely numb.
Thomas looked up at her with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. “I think I like the new you.”
She liked the new her too. Even in this frigid, abandoned space, with a boy she barely knew, she felt safe. Secure enough to say exactly what she wanted. She fiddled with the fleur-de-lis around her neck, wondering if this was what it felt like to be Noelle. To know what you wanted and expect to get it.
“Then let’s go,” she said playfully.
Thomas grinned and let her pull him to his feet. He glanced at the
doors through which Eli had disappeared, then started in the opposite direction. “This way.”
“Wait! My bag.”
Ariana scurried over and grabbed up her things, then took Thomas’s hand again. He tugged her toward an arched exit at the back of the church, and the rush of excitement that had stolen over her just minutes before seized her again. Outside, they stepped right into a drift of snow that came just below her knees. It seeped through her pants, melting against her skin, but she didn’t care. She was warm all over.
Thomas led her into a small clearing behind the church, where the canopy of tree branches had prevented the snow from piling too deep. Wind swirled overhead and Eli was nowhere to be seen.
“So . . .” He grinned, barely visible in the dark. “You’re the boss.”
“We can’t go back to Drake. Too many teachers around.” Ariana tucked her hands into her coat pockets. “A hotel?” she mused. A sudden gust of wind sent a dusting of white powder into her face, and she turned to shield herself. “The Driscoll? It’s close enough that we could walk, and it probably wouldn’t take that long.”
The thought of being with Thomas, alone, in a warm hotel room sent a shiver down her spine.
“Yeah.” Thomas pulled his cell from his pocket and pressed a single button, holding the phone to his ear.
“Speed dial?” Ariana groaned. “I really wish I hadn’t seen that.”
“It’s room service,” Thomas said, trying to keep a straight face. Trying, but failing. “They make an unbelievable cheeseburger. Swear.”
Ariana raised an eyebrow.
“You don’t believe me?” Thomas pretended to be indignant.
“About as much as I believe you’d read
Playboy
for the articles.”
Thomas held his hand up. “Yeah. Just wanted to book a room for tonight?” He paused, his face falling. “Okay. Thanks, man.” He snapped the phone shut and shoved it back in his pocket. “They’re booked. Guy at the desk said every hotel in town is packed. People can’t get out of here because of the snow.”
Ariana’s heart sank. It was crazy to want to be alone in a hotel room with Thomas. Crazy to be here with him now. But she couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.
“So I guess we only have one option,” she said gravely. She nodded at the smooth covering of snow on the ground.
Thomas laughed, backing away from her. “Oh, no. No way. You’re crazy.”
It took every ounce of bravery Ariana could summon to do what she did next. She lowered her body to the freezing cold ground, leaned back on her elbows, and looked up at Thomas, her blue eyes tempting.
“Am I?”
She stopped breathing. She couldn’t believe what she was saying. Doing.
Thomas’s smile widened. “How could I say no to that?”
Ariana grinned, ecstatic and relieved all at once. He knelt down and buried his hands in her thick, blond hair before touching his lips to hers. Ariana’s heart filled with pure happiness as he lowered himself
on top of her. She didn’t care about the cold anymore. Couldn’t feel anything but the heat of his body. She turned her face to let him run his lips along her cheek and out of the corner of her eye, she saw a dark shape in the snow.
And froze.
“Thomas,” she croaked, pushing him away. “Stop.”
Bile rose in the back of her throat. She was seeing things. She must have been.
“What?” He squinted quizzically at her. “What’s wrong?”
Her body felt as though it had been filled with lead, but her mind was racing. Screaming.
It wasn’t possible. He couldn’t have. . . .
She forced herself to sit up. Reached for the object and held it in front of Thomas, shaking the snow from it. She was going to throw up.
“What’s that?” Thomas asked.
“Daniel’s hat,” she managed, fighting the nausea that swept over her. “He must have been here. He must have come back for me.”
“No,” Thomas said, looking around nonetheless. “He left this morning. This hat could belong to anyone. It could be Eli’s or some other moron who was up here smoking.”
But Ariana knew better. The hat was brand-new. Obviously unused. It was too much of a coincidence. Daniel had been here. He must have found out somehow and now he was watching her. He knew what she had done.
“He knows.” Ariana stared straight ahead, still clutching Daniel’s hat. Numb to the icy chill that gripped her body and refused to release her. Numb to the snow that seemed to fall harder with each passing second. She felt nothing but fear. Every muscle in her body tensed, like those of a frightened, trapped animal.
“Ariana.”
Hearing her name on his tongue made her want to cry. But she couldn’t. The fear rose up in her throat, made it hard for her to breathe.