The Complete Rockstar Series (66 page)

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. The tension between us can’t continue. If we’re to do this, we have to be in agreement. I stand up, raking a hand through my hair. My neck is so tight I roll it around a few times to loosen it. Better to get this over with now.

I turn around, intending to knock on Gavin’s bedroom door only to find him standing in the doorway, watching me. Those bright blue eyes do a quick scan of my body and a rush of heat floods my skin, scorching me from the inside out.

“Gavin…”

His eyes narrow and his full mouth twists into a scowl.

“I’m agreeing to this laughable plan, Hale. Only because Ross says it’s the only way to end this shit and I don’t want to disappoint my band mates.”

My mind goes blank when my gaze drops to his chest. Gavin’s shirt is so tight I can see the outline of his piercings. I swallow back lust, need, and whole lot of dirty thoughts and force my eyes back up to his face. “Okay.”

My stupid eye twitches.

Gavin smirks, crossing his arms over his chest to hide the glorious view, knowing exactly what I’m thinking. Dammit.

“Good,” he snaps.

“I-I’m sorry, Gavin.” My hand lifts towards him of it’s own volition, wanting desperately to feel the heat of his skin.

His expression softens, revealing something more than the irritation he’s revealing. Regret? Longing? I’m not sure. Before I can figure it out, Gavin disappears into his bedroom, shutting the door and effectively ending the most awkward conversation to ever take place.

“
G
avin
!”

“Over here!”

“Mitch! Are you two getting married?”

“How does it feel to be out?”

“Can we get a shot of you two kissing?”

T
he hairs
on the back of my neck rise as the paparazzi shout out their questions. My palm is slick where it’s woven with Mitch’s. I can only hope his is just as sweaty as mine so he won’t notice.

“
C
ome on
, guys! Kiss for us!”

T
he crowd
in the pressroom at the record label is getting rowdy, clamoring for a physical display of affection between my
‘boyfriend’
and me. A glance over at Ross shows him urging me on with his eyes, begging me to continue the ridiculous charade.

Putting on the most convincing smile I can manage, I lean in and growl in Mitch’s ear. “We have to kiss for the cameras, Mitch. Is that a problem?”

Mitch’s hand grips mine tighter and his body tenses up. “No, not at all.”

I desperately want to roll my eyes but the whirring of cameras reminds me that I’m on display. I let go of Mitch’s hand and cup both sides of his face. His day-old stubble rasps against my palm as I tilt his head to one side. When I lean in, I get a full-on hit of his familiar scent. Lust rears its inappropriately timed head, sending a rush of blood to my cock.

Thank god we’re sitting behind a long table, the entire band, Ross, and our PR manager, Rachel Whatley, all in a row with us.

Mitch allows me to lead the kiss, parting his lips for me at my urging. As much as I want to dive in and devour him, I keep the kiss quick and G-Rated considering we’re not alone. Also because I hate him right now even if he is a sexy son of a bitch.

When I pull away, the crowd claps and cheers, but all I hear is the beat of my heart thundering in my chest. My eyes lock onto Mitch’s, the grey nearly eclipsed by large pupils. Longing like I’ve never felt before slams into me, threatening to drag me under and steal my breath.

The spell is only broken when Mitch blinks a few times, a shocked look on his face. Those rough cheeks turn red and he pulls away, clearing his throat nervously. Finally, I can suck in a lungful of much needed air to clear my head.

“There,” I announce, hoping no one saw the quick exchange of emotions. I grin at the audience. “Satisfied?”

The journalists toss more questions at us, including some very explicit and frankly, quite rude ones about our supposed sex life. I can see Hawke shaking with laughter out of the corner of my eye.

Ass!

Of course they’re not satisfied. They never are.

I
’m so
antsy I want to crawl out of my own skin. The stress of being on lockdown for the duration of the tour is going to kill me. If it doesn’t, then being close to Mitch on a daily basis—touching and kissing for the cameras and, pretty much living together—most certainly will.

We just arrived at the hotel in Miami and have a few hours to kill before tonight’s scheduled appearance at a local radio station. Then there are two concerts in the city starting tomorrow. That means a whole lot of downtime until then with Mitch. I check the time on my phone, three hours to kill.

Wound up and agitated, I leave my bedroom and head into the common area of the suite, hoping to find some sports on T.V. Mitch is already sitting on one of the sofas, typing on his laptop with a pen in his mouth. My eyes zero in on that pen. Drawn by the way his lips move around it, alternately sucking then chewing on the end. I’m fully hard in less than two seconds.

He must feel my eyes on him, because Mitch stops typing and looks up.

It’s the third day of the tour and we’ve hardly said two words to each other outside of scheduled appearances. It’s awkward, and to be honest, lonely as fuck.

I may as well be the one to break the tension because the big, gun-toting, ex-FBI guy is too nervous to do it himself. “Hey.”

Way to make conversation, Gavin.

Mitch’s eyes widen. He pulls the pen out of his mouth and I mourn the loss of the erotic display.

“Hey.”

I guess neither one of us is good at breaking awkward silences.

I drop onto the couch next to Mitch, desperate for some sort of truce or even friendship if that’s all we can have, though I wouldn’t say no to getting him naked again.

“What are you working on?”

Mitch shuts the laptop and places it on the side table. “Nothing. Just emails.”

“Oh.” Fuck it. I can’t stand it anymore. “Are you gay?” I blurt out before I can stop myself.

This time, those grey eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. Under that sexy dark stubble, a deep crimson flush appears.

“Uh… I, well… I…”

He’s at a total loss for words, stammering and turning red.

Without thinking, I reach out and pat his knee, feeling guilty for causing him embarrassment. His gaze drops to my hand before returning to my face. Raw lust has replaced humiliation by the time those eyes finish their scan up my torso and land on my mouth.

“Sorry.” I snatch my hand back. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No,” he murmurs. “It’s okay. If anyone deserves to know, it would be you.” Mitch laughs sarcastically and drags a hand through his sexy, tousled hair. “The truth is, I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Maybe I’m bi, but I don’t think so. I’ve always noticed men. I mean, I’ve had sex with women, but it didn’t…”

He ducks his head and the blush returns. I find it utterly adorable.

“It never felt right?” I finish his sentence.

Mitch takes so long to speak I begin to think he’s not going to answer. “No. It didn’t.”

“It’s okay, you know, to be gay. Trust me. It’s taken me years to realize that what everyone else thinks just doesn’t fucking matter.”

He grunts in agreement.

“Would your parents disapprove?”

Mitch finally looks at me again, those steel-colored eyes locking on mine. “No. That’s not it. Well, I don’t know, maybe. I’m pretty sure they’d be okay with it. Shit, I really should call them,” he mutters.

That doesn’t sound as if they’ll be completely supportive. “If it’s not necessarily your family, then why hide? What’s holding you back?”

“Why did
you
hold back?” he tosses back.

“Good question.” I absentmindedly rub my hand across my chest. Mitch’s gaze drops and I swear the man’s tongue nearly rolls out of his mouth. I yank my hand away and tuck it to my side. “I guess I just went along with the record label. I didn’t want to ruin the other guys’ chance of success by being selfish.”

“It’s not selfish to be who you are, Gavin,” Mitch states. His eyes finally leave my chest to find my face.

“Right back at you, Utah.”

He smiles and my mouth goes dry. Mitch is just so damn gorgeous—rugged, masculine, with handsome features and large muscles—but when he smiles he’s stunning.

Mitch swallows and I can hardly control the urge to lean over to lick across his delectable throat and taste his skin. It turns out I don’t have to, because just like the last two times, Mitch makes the first move.

M
y body has never had
such a powerful response to another person. Whenever Gavin is nearby, my mind goes blank and my heart skips into overdrive. His face, his body, the way he moves, the way he smells…all of it combines to form a potent aphrodisiac that I’m powerless to resist.

I might not be experienced when it comes to men, but lust is lust, and the look of hunger on Gavin’s face can’t be mistaken for anything else. When his eyes drop to my throat and his pupils dilate, my cock goes from rigid to rock hard. I’m hardly in control of my own body anymore, so when his mouth parts and his tongue swipes over his full lips, I snap.

In one quick move, I twist sideways, colliding with Gavin, knocking us both down to the carpeted floor. Once the shock of me shoving him off the couch wears off, Gavin turns feral. A growl rips from his chest and he grips my hair to hold my head in place as he attacks my mouth. Velvet tongues twist together and hard bodies slide in an uneven rhythm.

“Fuck, Mitch.” His voice is ragged and breathy.

I groan when Gavin blazes a scorching hot trail of bites down my neck. “Get this off,” he hisses, yanking my shirt up over my head.

I lean back long enough for Gavin to rid himself of his own cotton shirt. He tosses it aside and lies down, giving himself to me. It’s like a fucking buffet and I have no idea where to begin.

“Jesus, Gavin.” My hands start at his shoulders and skim down smooth skin to those mesmerizing piercings. “These are so fucking sexy.” I didn’t get a chance to explore them last time, so I tug experimentally on the metal hoops. Gavin’s back arches off the floor, his hips bucking up into mine.

“Mitch!”

Turned on by his response, I drop my head and drag my tongue across his collarbone, down to one of the flat copper discs. Swirling around the tight nub, I gently pull a hoop between my teeth.

“Jesus…Oh god, Mitch. Fuck, yeah.” His head drops back, causing his neck to curve up. It’s so hot I have to reach down and squeeze my dick to keep from coming.

The reactions I’m wringing from Gavin are some of my dirtiest fantasies come true. Strong hands pull harder on my hair, holding my mouth to Gavin’s chest as I suck on one nipple, working the ring as he squirms. Then I move to the other, eliciting similar effects. Fingers loosen to scrape across my scalp almost gently while I worship his body.

“Mitch, stop…” he pants breathlessly. “Stop!”

When I pull back, Gavin squirms out from under me and climbs on top, forcing me down to the ground.

“I need to taste this.” He groans and grabs my dick through my pants. My hips thrust up from the ground, my cock quite happy with the idea. “Mitch—?”

It takes a minute to realize Gavin is looking at me. Waiting for me to tell him it’s okay. That I want him to suck me. How the hell am I supposed to think while he’s touching my cock?

“Yes,” I hiss as he presses his palm down on my crotch.

Gavin immediately reaches for my waistband, deft fingers making quick work of my fly. I lift my hips to help as he tears off my jeans and briefs, releasing my red, pulsating hard-on.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous, Mitch.”

Gavin sits on his haunches, licking his lips and staring hungrily at my cock.

“What are you waiting for?” Unable to help myself, I reach for my dick and stroke it, aching for friction.

“Just admiring the view.” He knocks my hand away, growling. “That’s mine.” Before I can reply, he engulfs my entire cock, those full lips stretched tight around the rigid flesh.

“Holy shit!”

Gavin moans with a mouthful of cock and the vibrations short circuit my brain. I want to watch, but I can’t. The sight of those sculpted cheeks caving in as he pulls up and sucks is too much. I’ll come too quick and fuck, I want this to last forever.

My hips try to thrust of their own accord, but strong fingers press into my skin, holding me down. Pleasure swirls in my balls, building rapidly until it’s at the point of no return, ready to explode. My entire body tenses and I detonate, sparks bursting behind my eyes as my cock explodes harder than it ever has before.

“God, Gavin… I can’t…ungh! Holy shit, holy shit, fuu-uuck!”

Gavin’s talented mouth continues sucking me through the most spectacular orgasm of my life. He doesn’t give me a chance to pull away. Those huge hands keep me locked in place until he takes every last drop of from my cock.

I flop back to catch my breath, drained and loose-limbed on the floor. Gavin frees his own erection and starts frantically stroking it while he kneels between my legs. Fascinated, I prop up on my elbows to watch. That graceful, long fingered hand moves in a blur. It takes less than a minute for Gavin to throw his head back, shouting my name as he comes all over my chest and stomach.

Sated, Gavin hangs his head forward, his chest heaving from exertion. When he finally looks at me, the uncertainty I see in his expressive blue eyes is like a stab to the heart. I hate that he feels like he can’t trust my reactions. That I’ll deny what’s happening between us and push him away.

To prove I’m not going to freak out, I reach up and wrap a hand around the back of Gavin’s sweaty neck, tugging him down on top of me. Ignoring the sticky mess between us, I bring his mouth to mine for a long, sensual kiss, tasting my own release on his tongue. This time, it’s not the rough fight for dominance we usually have, but a kiss shared by lovers.

And this time, it’s not my dick that blood rushes to. No, it’s my heart.

M
y mind is spinning
with a hundred different thoughts at once. The only thing I can focus on, however, is Mitch’s warm, hard body beneath me and the brush of his lips across mine.

“Let’s get off the floor,” I suggest. Despite my desire to curl up against Mitch and never move from this spot, he must be pretty uncomfortable with my full weight pressing him down on the floor.

He nods so I stand up and offer a hand. When Mitch takes it I thread our fingers together and lead him to my en suite bathroom and turn on the shower. Mitch leans against the sink, watching me as I move around the small space.

“I don’t regret what happened, Gavin.” Stepping in front of me, Mitch slides his arms around my waist and gives me a quick kiss. “Let’s clean up.”

After a brief, but fun shower, we lie on my bed in silence. Mitch is dragging a finger up and down my skin from chest to waist. I flinch, barking out a laugh.

“Ticklish?” he asks, his eyes alight with amusement.

“No.” I try to hold in another laugh when he does it again and fail miserably.

“Liar. You are so ticklish.” Mitch rolls until he’s on top of me, those wicked fingers digging into my sides.

“Stop!” I sputter, struggling to dislodge him. He continues his assault while cackling like a hyena. “S-stop!”

“Fine. You win.” Mitch brings his hands up to frame my face, leaning on his elbows as he hovers above me. “You’re so gorgeous, Gavin. I’ve never felt so good. So…” he struggles for words. “So much like myself, like I’m finally who I’m supposed to be.”

He’s giving me the opening and I can’t say I’m not dying to get answers, so I take a chance. “What happened, Mitch? Why pretend to be straight?”

The joy in those grey eyes fades. This time it’s not replaced by his usual blank, cold expression. Instead, I see hurt and regret. Mitch goes back to his side of the bed, leaving me thinking I should have kept my mouth shut.

He sits against the headboard, dragging both hands down his face. “You really want to know?”

I scoot up until I’m sitting next to him. Taking one of his hands in mine, I squeeze it gently. “Yeah, I do. If you want to tell me, that is.”

The clash of emotions inside him is obvious. Mitch wants to rid himself of whatever has been weighing him down, but he’s clearly uncomfortable with the subject of his sexuality.

“I’ve always known I liked guys,” Mitch admits. “Starting in middle school when everyone was noticing girls, I only had eyes for Brent Spears.” He huffs out a small laugh.

“Go on,” I squeeze his hand again, bringing it to my lips to place a small kiss on the back. “I won’t judge you.”

“I know you won’t. I’m just… ashamed, I guess. Of denying it for so long. Of feeling like I had to deny it. I’m a coward.”

“You’re not a coward,” I snap. “Everyone’s story is different. Coming out is very personal, Mitch.” His eyes meet mine and I smile. “Even when it’s done in front of dozens of paparazzi to lure out a crazy stalker.”

“I’m sorry if I pushed you to come out before you were ready.” Those eyes turn to liquid steel and I melt.

“You didn’t push me, Mitch. I was more than ready. Besides, I
am
capable of saying no. Even to you.”

He smirks. “Yeah, you are.” The smile vanishes. “Anyway, I planned on coming out after high school, you know? When I got to college I figured it would be easier. Being in an environment where no one knows you. It sounded safer.”

I nod in agreement. “Of course. Makes sense.” And it does. “I hadn’t planned on my dad figuring it out about me. Somehow he did.”

Mitch reaches over and brushes my unruly hair back off my forehead, pressing a small kiss on the exposed skin.

“So did you come out in college?” I ask, already guessing the answer and not wanting him to ask about my dad.

“No.” His mouth twists into a grimace. “I went to college in the D.C. area, moving out of my parents’ house to live on campus with every intention of living my life as me. The
real
me. No more fake girlfriends, no more having to get drunk just to be able to fuck them in order to have some sort of human contact.”

I cringe at the thought of a young Mitch forcing himself to have sex with women to stave off loneliness.

“That’s something I’ve never done,” I admit.

“What? Been with a woman?” He looks genuinely surprised.

“Nope.” I shake my head. “I
am
gay, you know.”

Mitch grins. “I know, and I couldn’t be happier about it.”

“Ha!” I smile back, glad for this moment of levity.

“The city can be dangerous,” Mitch continues with his story. “There’s a lot of crime in D.C. despite all the wealth and the posturing of politicians and the huge number of FBI and other law enforcement agents living in the area.” He inhales deeply. “There was a kid in the news. A gay kid. He was attacked, snatched off the street, beaten, raped, killed…” Mitch’s breath hitches in his chest. “Then another, and another.”

My blood goes cold, the icy feeling sending goose bumps on my skin. “A serial killer,” I whisper.

Mitch closes his eyes and nods. “Yeah.” His voice is raspy, a near sob. “Five young gay men in total before they caught the bastard.”

The pieces all click into place. “That’s why you joined the FBI. That’s why you track serial killers.”

Mitch doesn’t respond. He doesn’t have to. I pull him against my chest, holding him tight. His arms snake around my waist and he lets me comfort him. How long has he kept this inside?

“Did you ever tell anyone why you joined the FBI?” I murmur into his thick, dark hair. I inhale, filling my nostrils with his scent, wishing I could crawl inside him and take the pain away.

Mitch pulls back. “No. No one even knew I was gay. Only one person found out and it ended up being why I quit the bureau.”

I
feel
Gavin tense up at my words. I’m torn. I want to tell him, to tell
someone
, to rip down the last barrier separating me from happiness.

Gavin sits quietly, waiting patiently for me to decide. His eyes are kind, accepting, but pained. For me. Not pity, but empathy reflecting in the blue depths.

“My partner,” I whisper. “Grant.” My heart is racing and my palms feel sweaty. I stand up and pull on briefs and T-shirt. “I need a drink for this story. You want one?”

“Sure.” Gavin follows me to the common area, grabbing his own briefs on the way. “Sit,” he commands from the stocked bar.

I drop onto the nearest couch and he hands me a glass with ice and clear liquid. “What is this?”

“Gin and tonic.”

The cold liquid hits my tongue, burning a path down my throat. Gavin waits for me to finish it before taking my glass. “More?”

I shake my head. “No. I still have to work tonight at the event.”

He looks as if he bit a lemon. “Right.” Gavin places the glass on the table. “Grant?” he prods.

My stomach twists and turns, the nausea intense as my nerves light up like a Christmas tree.

“He was partner at the bureau—another profiler. A seasoned one. One of the best, in fact. They put us together so I could learn from him.” I laugh, but nothing is funny. “What I didn’t know was that he had me profiled from the minute we met.”

“What do you mean?”

I turn and lock eyes with Gavin. “He knew I was gay. I didn’t even have to say a thing.”

“That’s good, right? So you didn’t have to tell him,” Gavin says.

“No. He never told me he knew and I never said anything.”

“What? Why?” Gavin’s forehead crumples up in confusion.

“Because he screwed with my head for six years. He flirted with me all the time, but never obvious enough for me to think he was interested. He would do things when we were on a case, staying in hotels together across the country. Like masturbate loudly from the bathroom, knowing I could hear him.”

“That’s sick,” Gavin snarls.

“Is it more sick that I let him do it for six years? I… I thought I was in love with him. But to him, it was all a game. I didn’t know what he was doing.” My face heats up with humiliation.

“I’m sorry, Mitch.”

“I should have known. I was…I
am
a brilliant profiler, but I couldn’t see what was right in front of me.” I drop my head into my hands, unable to meet Gavin’s gaze.

“Hey.” Gavin reaches over and pulls my chin up until our eyes meet again. “It’s not your fault, and I’m not judging you. People can be cruel.”

Gavin lets go and sits back, placing a comforting hand on my leg. That beautiful face pulls into a menacing scowl. “So, how did you find out what a twisted fuck he was?”