The Complete Tawny Man Trilogy Omnibus (251 page)

He revealed that he had offered to release Elliania from their mutual bond. It was after they had come close to quarrelling. She saw no reason why they could not be married and yet allow her to remain as Narcheska of the Narwhals, with Dutiful coming and going as the other husbands and lovers did. It had, he confided to his mother through me, deeply hurt her when he said he could not give up his throne to be her husband.
She asked me, why not? Was not that what I was asking of her, that she forsake home, family and title to become my wife in a strange place, and moreover, to rob her clan of the children that should be rightfully theirs? It was difficult, Mother. She made me see it all in a different light. Even now, when I think of it, I wonder if what we do is right.

‘But she would be Queen, here! Do not they recognize what honour and power would go with such a title?’

And when I had passed Kettricken’s words to her son, I felt his regret as he said,
She will not be Clan Narwhal any more. When, at first, her mother would not release her, she became angry. She threatened to leave her clan without her mother’s permission. It was a very ugly moment. Peottre stood by her, but almost all the women of the clan opposed Elliania. Her mother said that if she left, she would be forsaking them, to become a … well, they have a word for it. It is not an honourable one to call a woman. It is one who has stolen from her own people to give to strangers. Many of their rules, including their ones for hospitality, insist that family must be provided for first. This, then, is a grave insult.

I relayed Kettricken’s concern.
But it has been resolved, now? She leaves her people with her honour intact.

I think it has. Her mother and the Great Mother have consented. Still, you know how a thing may be said in words but not meant in the heart. It is like how some of our nobles tolerate the Old Blood. To the letter of the law, but with no heart to be fair to them.

I know well what you mean. It has been difficult here, Dutiful, while you were gone. I have done my best, but I look forward to Web’s return. The bloodshed has been appalling, and many of my lesser nobles are muttering that it is as they said, that the Witted are little
better than the animals they mate with, and that freed of the curb of punishment, they are happy to slaughter one another. The Old Blood’s zeal to eliminate the Piebalds has blackened the reputation of the Witted rather than cleared it.

And so their talk wandered, from one thing to another. After a time, it was almost as if they forgot I was there. I grew hoarse repeating to Kettricken all that Dutiful wished to say to her. I sensed his relief that neither Chade nor Nettle were a party to the conversation. He confided many doubts, and yet also the small, sweet triumphs of his courtship of his bride. There was a particular shade of green that she liked, and he took great pains in describing it, for he hoped that the personal chambers that welcomed her to Buckkeep could incorporate it. He had many minor complaints over how Chade had handled the most recent round of negotiations, and many areas in which he wanted the Queen to rein in her Chief Councillor. Here, Kettricken and Dutiful did not precisely agree, and I was again hard put to serve only as go-between without injecting any of my own thoughts.

And gradually, as they employed my magic for the best interests of the Farseer throne, I began to be aware of the Skill-current. It pulled me in a new way. Not the impulsive, dive-into-it-and-be-lost-forever temptation I knew only too well, but like music heard in another chamber, lovely music that draws the attention away from what one is supposed to be doing until one becomes immersed in only it. At first it was distant, like the thunder of rapids heard while one drifts in the calm part of the river. It drew me, but not strongly. I thought I was ignoring it. The Prince’s words to the Queen and her replies flowed through me and I scarce had to pay attention to what I said or the thoughts I sent to Dutiful.

It began to seem that the Skill itself was flowing through me, as if I were the river, and I was only jolted from it when the Queen leaned forward and shook me, hard.

‘Fitz!’ she cried out, and
Fitz!
I dutifully relayed to Dutiful.

Then, ‘Wake him however you must. Throw water in his face, pinch him. I fear if I retreat now, he will go under all the way.’

And even as I spoke Dutiful’s words to the Queen, she took up her cup of cooling tea and dashed it in my face. I spluttered, coughed,
and was once more fully aware of my surroundings. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said, wiping my sleeve over my face. ‘That has never happened to me before. At least, not in this fashion.’

The Queen offered me a kerchief. ‘We’ve had some minor difficulties of this type with Nettle. It was one reason Chade wanted you to be here as soon as possible.’

‘He said something of the kind. I wish he had been more specific. I would have found a way to come sooner.’

‘She will need instruction in the Skill, Fitz. It should begin soon. Actually, it should have begun long ago.’

‘I know that, now,’ I admitted humbly. ‘A lot of things should have begun long ago. I’m home now, and I intend to begin them soon.’

‘How about now?’ Kettricken asked me levelly. ‘I could summon my maid, and send for Nettle. You could meet her now.’

A wave of dread washed through me. ‘Not yet!’ And then I amended it to, ‘Not like this, my lady, please. Let me be clean and shaven. And rested.’ I took a breath. ‘And fed,’ I added, trying not to make it sound like a remonstrance.

‘Oh, Fitz, I am sorry! I have let my own needs and desires run rampant over yours. A selfish act. I apologize.’

‘A necessary act,’ I assured her. Then, ‘Shall I find Dutiful again? Or Chade. I know there is still much you need to know.’

‘Not just now. I judge it best that you refrain from Skilling for a time.’

I nodded. Left alone in my own mind, I felt almost empty, as if I could no longer string together a thought of my own. It must have showed, for she leaned forward to set her hand on mine. ‘Some brandy, Lord FitzChivalry?’

‘Please,’ I replied, and my queen rose to get it for us.

Some time later, I twitched my eyes open. A shawl had been put around me and my chin rested on my chest. My brandy waited on the table before me. Kettricken was sitting quietly at the table, looking at her folded hands. I knew she meditated and did not wish to disturb her. Yet she seemed aware that I had awakened almost as soon as I opened my eyes. She gave me a weary smile.

‘My queen, I offer my humblest apologies.’

‘You have been long without rest.’ She muffled a small yawn of her own and said, ‘I sent for breakfast, and let my maid know I am famished. She will wish to tidy this room before she sets it out for me here. Conceal yourself until you hear me knock.’

And so I spent some short time sitting on the steps in the darkness behind the concealed panel. I closed my eyes, but did not sleep. Yet it was not the burdens of the Six Duchies throne that weighted my thoughts. I was but a tool to be used in that sorting. I would eat with the Queen, visit the steams and shave, sleep for a short time and then find a way to slip out of the castle and go back to the Witness Stones. I would raid the storeroom first, I decided, and take with me cheese and fruit and wine for the Fool and the Black Man. Perhaps they would enjoy some fresh bread. I smiled to myself, thinking how they would welcome the change in food. Perhaps the Fool would be better and able to travel. If he was, I could bring them both to Buckkeep, where I would know the Fool was safe. And finally I would be free, to go to Molly, and heal the rift of years. I heard the Queen’s tap on the wall.

She had taken advantage of the time to smooth her hair and don a fresh gown. A meal, ample for several people, was set out on the low table. Tea steamed from a flowered pot, and I smelled fresh bread, and butter melting on hot porridge beside a pot of thick yellow cream.

‘Come and eat,’ she welcomed me. ‘And if you have a word left in you, tell me of what you have been through, and how it is that you and Thick have discovered such a swift way to travel.’

I realized then the depth of the Queen’s faith in me. So much had not been relayed through Nettle for the sake of keeping Chade’s secrets. Only by subtle hints had she known to expect me, and yet she had believed we would arrive. And so, as we ate, I found myself reporting to her yet again. She had always been a good listener, and over the years had been my confidante more than once. Perhaps that was why I found myself telling her far more of the truth than I had confided to anyone else. I told her of my search through the city for the Fool’s body, and tears ran down her cheeks unchecked when I told her where and how I had found him. Her pale eyes brimmed with wonder as I told her how we had returned
to the abandoned plaza. To her alone did I confide my venture into death. To her alone did I give a full accounting of our visit to the dragons themselves and the restoration of the Rooster Crown.

Only once did she interrupt. I had told her of brushing the dust and leaves off Verity as Dragon. She instantly reached across the table to seize my hand in a cool, hard grip.

‘With these pillars, if you held my hand, you could take me to him? Even just once? I know, I know, all that would not be there for me. Yet, even to touch the stone that holds him … Oh, Fitz, you have no idea what that would mean to me!’

‘To take an unSkilled person through a pillar … I do not know the full toll it might take on your mind. It could be arduous and dangerous, my queen.’ I was reluctant, and yet even more reluctant to disappoint her.

‘And Dutiful,’ she said, as if she had not heard my warning at all. ‘Dutiful should stand, at least once, by the dragon of his father. It would make real his father’s Sacrifice to him, and he might perceive his own in a kindlier light then.’

‘Dutiful’s Sacrifice?’

‘Did not you hear what he could not say? That as a man, he could have stayed there with Elliania, and been her husband and welcomed by her family. As a prince, he cannot. It is not a small Sacrifice, FitzChivalry. Elliania will follow him here, that is true. But ever, it will be a little wall between them. You yourself have known how sharp that can be, to disappoint the woman you love out of the duty you must yield to your people.’

I spoke without considering the wisdom of it. ‘I will be going back for her, now. The time for that sacrifice is at an end. Burrich is gone and no longer stands between us. I will take Molly again for my own.’

A silence followed my words, and I realized I had shocked her. Then she said, gently, ‘I am glad that, at last, you have found that resolve. I speak now as a woman and your friend. Do not go to Molly too soon. Let her son come home to her first. Let her family heal around their terrible wound. Then, approach her, but as yourself, not as a man coming to take Burrich’s place.’

I knew her words were wise as soon as I heard them. But my
heart howled to rush to Molly as soon as I could, to begin, as soon as possible, to make up the years we had lost. I wanted to comfort her in her grief. I bowed my head, realizing the selfishness of that impulse. Hard as it would be for me to stand to one side and wait, it was what I should do, for the sake of Burrich’s sons.

‘And the same for Nettle,’ Kettricken went on implacably. ‘She will soon know that something has changed when I do not call on her to pass messages to Dutiful for me. Yet, if you will listen to me, do not rush to her. Above all, do not try to replace her father. For such Burrich was to her, Fitz, through no fault of your own. Such he will always be. You will have to find another role in her life, and be content with it.’

They were bitter words for me to hear, and more bitter still was it for me to admit, ‘I know.’ I sighed. ‘I will teach her the Skill. That time, I will have with her.’

I resumed my tale for the Queen, and by the time I reached the end of it, the pot of tea was gone. I was a bit abashed to see that I had cleared the table of food. I suspected that Kettricken had eaten little of it. I blinked my sandy eyes and tried to stifle a huge yawn. She smiled at me wearily.

‘Go and sleep, Fitz.’

‘Thank you. I shall.’ Then, well aware I was not supposed to know her identity, I asked the Queen, ‘If you would speak to Chade’s new apprentice, it would be of great help to me. The third storeroom in the east hall is where he used to have supplies left for Thick to bring up to his tower room. As soon as the Fool can travel, I plan to bring him back to Buckkeep. The tower room might be the best place for him to stay, until he can shed his identity as Lord Golden. Chade’s apprentice could stock the room if she –’ And there I bit my tongue, knowing I’d betrayed myself in my weariness.

Queen Kettricken gave me a tolerant smile. ‘I’ll tell Lady Rosemary to make the arrangements. And if I need you?’

I pondered briefly, then realized the obvious. ‘Ask Nettle to contact Thick.’

She shook her head. ‘I plan to send Nettle home to her family for a time. They need her. It is not fair that they be apart at this time.’

I nodded. ‘Thick will be about. You could keep him at your side.
It might be a good way to occupy him and keep him from telling too many tales of how he came home.’

She nodded gravely. I bowed, suddenly horribly weary.

‘Go, Fitz, and take my thanks with you. Oh!’ The sharpness of her intake of breath warned me.

‘What?’

‘Lady Patience is expected. She sent me word of her visit at the same time that she told me she wished to convey Withywoods on Lady Nettle. She also warned me that she wished to “consult me on serious matters concerning certain inheritances that should be provided for now”.’

There was little point in mincing words. ‘I am sure she knows that Nettle is my daughter. Eda help the poor child if Patience has decided to take over her education.’ I smiled ruefully at my remembrance of Patience’s instruction of me.

Queen Kettricken nodded to that. Solemnly she asked, ‘What is the saying? All your chickens have come home to roost?’

‘I think that’s it. But strangely enough, my lady queen, I welcome them.’

‘I am glad to hear you say so.’ She nodded to me that I was excused.