The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (407 page)

Study leaves his normal inclination, and makes his book your eyes,
Where all those pleasures live that art would

Where all the pleasures live that art would
comprehend:

Understand:
If knowledge be the mark, to know thee shall suffice;

If knowledge is the goal, to know you will suffice;
Well learned is that tongue that well can thee commend,

I know very well the language that can praise you,
All ignorant that soul that sees thee without wonder;

Anyone who looks at you without wonder is ignorant;
Which is to me some praise that I thy parts admire:

Which in a way praises me for admiring you:
Thy eye Jove's lightning bears, thy voice his dreadful thunder,

In your eyes, Zeus’ lightning, in your voice, his dreadful thunder,
Which not to anger bent, is music and sweet fire.

Which is not full of anger, it’s full of music and sweet fire.
Celestial as thou art, O, pardon, love, this wrong,

Celestial as you are, O, pardon me love, for this wrong,
That sings heaven's praise with such an earthly tongue.

That tries to sing heaven’s praise with such an earthly tongue.
HOLOFERNES You find not the apostraphas, and so miss the

You didn’t see the apostrophes, so you missed the
accent: let me supervise the canzonet. Here are

Accent: let me glance over the poem.  Here the language is
only numbers ratified; but, for the elegancy,

Merely made metrical; but as for elegance,
facility, and golden cadence of poesy, caret.
usefulness and golden cadence of poetry, it’s lacking.

Ovidius Naso was the man: and why, indeed, Naso,

Ovidius Naso was the man. And indeed he was Nasal
but for smelling out the odouriferous flowers of

In order to smell the odorous flowers of
fancy, the jerks of invention? Imitari is nothing:

Fantasy, the stroke of imagination? To imitate is nothing:
so doth the hound his master, the ape his keeper,
As the hound does what his master commands, the ape obeys his keeper

the tired horse his rider. But, damosella virgin,

the tired horse obeys his rider.  But, girl
was this directed to you?
was this meant for you?

JAQUENETTA Ay, sir, from one Monsieur Biron, one of the strange

Yes, sir, from Monsier Biron, one of the foreign
queen's lords.

Queen’s lords.
HOLOFERNES I will overglance the superscript: 'To the

I will take a look at the address: ‘To the
snow-white hand of the most beauteous Lady
snow-white hand of the most beautiful Lady

Rosaline.' I will look again on the intellect of

Rosaline.’ I will look again at the meaning of
the letter, for the nomination of the party writing

The letter, for the naming of the person writing
to the person written unto: 'Your ladyship's in all
to the person written to: ‘Your ladyship’s much

desired employment, BIRON.' Sir Nathaniel, this
desired service, Biron.’ Sir Nathaniel, this

Biron is one of the votaries with the king; and here
Biron is one of the king’s party; and here

he hath framed a letter to a sequent of the stranger
he has written a letter to the attendant of the foreign

queen's, which accidentally, or by the way of

queen’s, which accidentally, or by process of  
progression, hath miscarried. Trip and go, my

delivery, was delivered to the wrong person.  Hurry and go, my
sweet; deliver this paper into the royal hand of the

sweet; get this letter to the royal hand of the
king: it may concern much. Stay not thy

king: it may be important.  Don’t worry about
compliment; I forgive thy duty; adieu.

Ceremony; No need to curtsy; Goodbye.  
JAQUENETTA Good Costard, go with me. Sir, God save your life!

Good Costard, go with me.  Sir, God will grace you for it!
COSTARD Have with thee, my girl.
I’ll go with you, my girl.

Exeunt COSTARD and JAQUENETTASIR NATHANIEL Sir, you have done this in the fear of God, very

Sir, you have done this with respect of God, very
religiously; and, as a certain father saith,--

Religiously; and, as a certain priest has said, --
HOLOFERNES Sir tell me not of the father; I do fear colourable

Sir please do not speak of the priest; I do fear plausible
colours. But to return to the verses: did they

Reasons.  But to return to the letter: Did they
please you, Sir Nathaniel?

please you, Sir Nathaniel?
SIR NATHANIEL Marvellous well for the pen.

Marvellous penmanship.
HOLOFERNES I do dine to-day at the father's of a certain pupil

I will have dinner today at the house of the father of a certain student
of mine; where, if, before repast, it shall please

Of mine; where, if before feasting, it would please
you to gratify the table with a grace, I will, on my

You to grace the table with a prayer, I will
privilege I have with the parents of the foresaid

Have with the parents of the aforementioned
child or pupil, undertake your ben venuto; where I

child or student, ask for your welcome; where I
will prove those verses to be very unlearned,

will prove those verses to be very dull,
neither savouring of poetry, wit, nor invention: I
and not poetic, witty, or imaginative: I

beseech your society.

Ask for your company.
SIR NATHANIEL And thank you too; for society, saith the text, is
And thank you too; for company, says the bible, is

the happiness of life.

What makes life happy.
HOLOFERNES And, certes, the text most infallibly concludes it.
And, certainly, the text most reliably affirms it.

To DULLSir, I do invite you too; you shall not

Sir, I invite you too; you will not
say me nay: pauca verba. Away! the gentles are at
tell me no: Few words.  Come on! The gentlefolk are at

their game, and we will to our recreation.

Their game, and we will entertain ourselves as well.
Exeunt

 

Enter BIRON, with a paper 

BIRON The king he is hunting the deer; I am coursing
The king is out hunting deer; I am pursuing

myself: they have pitched a toil; I am toiling in
myself: they have set a trap; I am trapped

a pitch,--pitch that defiles: defile! a foul

in Rosaline’s eyes,-- the trap that defiles: defile! An awful
word. Well, set thee down, sorrow! for so they say

word.  Well, sit down with me, sorrow! For so they say
the fool said, and so say I, and I the fool: well

the fool says, and I say as well, so I must be a fool: well
proved, wit! By the Lord, this love is as mad as

proved, wit!  By Lord, this love is as mad as
Ajax: it kills sheep; it kills me, I a sheep:

Ajax: it kills sheep; it kills me, so I must be a sheep:
well proved again o' my side! I will not love: if
well proved again for my credit! I will not love: if

I do, hang me; i' faith, I will not. O, but her

I do, hang me; I promise, I will not.  O, but her
eye,--by this light, but for her eye, I would not

Eye,--in this light, if not for her eye, I would not

love her; yes, for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing

love her; yes, for both her eyes. Well, I do nothing
in the world but lie, and lie in my throat. By

in the world but lie, and lie through my teeth.  By
heaven, I do love: and it hath taught me to rhyme

heaven, I do love: and it has taught me to write rhymes
and to be melancholy; and here is part of my rhyme,

and feel melancholy; and here is part of my poem,
and here my melancholy. Well, she hath one o' my
and here my melancholy.  Well, she has one of my

sonnets already: the clown bore it, the fool sent

sonnets already: the clown delivered it, the fool sent
it, and the lady hath it: sweet clown, sweeter

it, and the lady has it: sweet clown, sweeter
fool, sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care

fool, sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care
a pin, if the other three were in. Here comes one

at all, if the other three were involved.  Here comes one
with a paper: God give him grace to groan!

With a letter: God give him grace to groan!
Stands asideEnter FERDINAND, with a paperFERDINAND Ay me!

Oh me!
BIRON [Aside] Shot, by heaven! Proceed, sweet Cupid:

Shot, by heaven! Come on, sweet Cupid:
thou hast thumped him with thy bird-bolt under the
you have hit him with your arrow under the

left pap. In faith, secrets!

Left breast. He thinks he’s alone, so he will tell secrets!
FERDINAND [Reads]So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not

So sweet a kiss the golden sun cannot give
To those fresh morning drops upon the rose,

To the fresh dew drops on the rose,
As thy eye-beams, when their fresh rays have smote
As my eye-beams, when their fresh rays have seen

The night of dew that on my cheeks down flows:

The tears that flow nightly down my cheeks:

Nor shines the silver moon one half so bright
Nor does the silver moon shine half as bright

Through the transparent bosom of the deep,
through the transparent bosom of the ocean,

As doth thy face through tears of mine give light;
As does my face through my tears which give light;

Thou shinest in every tear that I do weep:

You shine in every tear I weep
No drop but as a coach doth carry thee;
Not as a drop, but like a carriage they carry you

So ridest thou triumphing in my woe.
So you ride, taking triumph in my woe.

Do but behold the tears that swell in me,
Do notice the tears that swell in me,

And they thy glory through my grief will show:
And they will show your glory through my grief:

But do not love thyself; then thou wilt keep

But do not love yourself; then you will keep
My tears for glasses, and still make me weep.
my tears for mirrors, and still cause me to cry.

O queen of queens! how far dost thou excel,
O queen of queens! How excellent you are,

No thought can think, nor tongue of mortal tell.
No thought can think, nor mortal tongue can tell

How shall she know my griefs? I'll drop the paper:
How can she know my grief?  I’ll drop the letter:

Sweet leaves, shade folly. Who is he comes here?
Sweet leaves, hide my foolishness.  Who is that coming here?

Steps asideWhat, Longaville! and reading! listen, ear.
What, Longaville! And reading! Let’s listen closely.

BIRON Now, in thy likeness, one more fool appear!

Now, just like you, another fool will appear!
Enter LONGAVILLE, with a paperLONGAVILLE Ay me, I am forsworn!

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