Authors: Nick Spalding
‘But the dangers of everyone having such knowledge are too great,’ Garrowain replied. ‘If everyone can read and write, more will develop the ability to Wordcraft. Not everyone can handle it and not everyone would use it constructively.’
‘Who decides who gets to learn it, then?
You
, I suppose?’ Max said, shooting an accusing look at all of them.
‘The Chapter Houses,’ Merelie said. ‘They control who reads and writes for the good of everyone.’
‘The people must be controlled,’ Garrowain said again, starting to sound brainwashed.
Max gave all three of them a long hard look up and down.
‘What are you doing?’ said Merelie.
‘Checking for swastikas.’ He threw his hands up. ‘Look, I’m done. I’ve listened to everything you’ve said - I’ve tried to pay attention and I get it. But when you get right down to it, this isn’t my world and it isn’t my problem.’ He folded his arms and rocked on his heels. ‘I reckon from the sound of it, you lot deserve a kick up the arse by monsters from the twilight zone… treating your people like idiots and mucking about with the space-time continuum.’
‘Max, that’s a horrible thing to say!’ Merelie cried.
‘Sorry, but that’s the way I see it.’ He scratched his chin. ‘Look, we never asked you to punch a hole into our reality and spy on us. Maybe if you’d come clean in the first place and said hello, then things might be different. As it is, we’re nothing more to you than a bunch of apes who can’t do your silly magic tricks.’
Max knew damn well he was offending them, but once you’ve started on a rant, it’s vitally important to see it through to the end.
‘The same goes for all your other Houses and their little playgrounds off in other dimensions. I’m not a Wordsmith and don’t want to be. I just want to go home and forget all this weird stuff ever happened,’ he finished in a low, tired voice and looked at the big floating book.
The words ‘This is
unprecedented’
still hovered in mid-air.
You got that right.
Merelie stepped forward. ‘But Max… ‘
Garrowain cut across her. ‘Mr Bloom has said his piece, Merelie. He does not believe he can help us and by the sounds of things, would be highly uninterested in doing so even if he could. Correct?’
‘Yep.’
‘Therefore, we send him back to his world so he can ‘forget about the whole thing’ as he says. Maybe there will be somebody else more willing to assist.’
‘Don’t bet on it,’ Max said, knowing his species well.
‘We shall see.’ The custodian turned to Borne. ‘Put The Cornerstone on the shelf Arma. Let’s get Mr Bloom home as quickly as possible.’
Borne did as he was told, wisely remaining silent.
Merelie looked upset.
A year ago Max had dated a girl called Daisy. The relationship had lasted two whole months and was for the most part quite pleasant. It had certainly led to his first proper kiss and feel of side-boob.
Things had gone downhill when Max learned - from a gob-smacked Steve Figson - that:
Carrie Mitchell saw Daisy kissing Adam White over by the gym last Wednesday after lunch time and he had his hand up her t-shirt and everything!.
Max confronted Daisy with this knowledge and she didn’t deny it. He ended the relationship there and then, using a level of common sense most fully grown adults wouldn’t be able to muster in similar circumstances.
The look Daisy had given him was a carbon copy of the one Merelie was aiming at him now: A combination of guilt, anger and sadness.
It was a look to make the strongest of men weak.
‘Look Merelie, I’m sorry, but I can’t help the way I feel,’ he said, squirming a bit.
‘Please don’t do this, Max. I thought you understood?’
‘I do understand… sort of.’ He gave her a half-hearted smile. ‘There’s nothing wrong anyway! You’ve just had some bad dreams. You don’t need a powerful Wordsmith from Earth, just a good night’s rest and a nice holiday somewhere.’
Her face hardened. ‘You’re just like the rest of them! Go on… go away! I don’t care anymore!’
‘Well… well… neither do I!’ he shouted back, reaching out and grabbing the recharged Cornerstone.
‘Thanks for nothing the lot of you! You’re all bloody bonkers and I’m off!’
Max opened the book and read:
Her face hardened. ‘You’re just like the rest of them! Go on… go away! I don’t care anymore!’
‘Well… well… neither do I!’ he shouted back, reaching out and grabbing the recharged Cornerstone.
‘Thanks for nothing the lot of you! You’re all bloody bonkers and I’m off!’
Max opened the book and read:
Boom!
…went the universe.
Part Three
- 1 -
From the stressful, misty corridors of the Carvallen Library to the peaceful environs of the brown Farefield library staff room, Max Bloom plopped into existence, making Imelda Warrington spill her tea.
‘Good grief!’ she yelled as he chucked The Cornerstone onto the coffee table, vowing to never pick it up again.
‘Wotcha…
Wordsmith
,’ he said, putting a heavy accent on the second word.
Imelda got the hint. ‘So, you’ve found out lots of interesting things over there, have you?’
‘You could say that,’ he replied, looking up at the clock. ‘I was only gone for five hours? It felt like a bloody century.’
‘Time can be funny when you’re inside The Cornerstone,’ Imelda said.
‘Oh no, don’t you start! I’ve had enough ‘wisdom of the ancients’ rubbish from that Garrowain bloke without you joining in.’
‘Garrowain? You met the Head Custodian?’
‘Met him… listened to him… mortally insulted him. Not necessarily in that order.’
‘So you know about Merelie’s nightmares? The prophecy she’s been trying to sell all these years?’
‘I take it you don’t believe her either, then?’
Imelda snorted. ‘Of course not. It’s ridiculous. She’s a very silly girl, spreading rumours and frightening people. Did she also try to convince you that you’re a Wordsmith?’
‘Yep. Which I told her wasn’t possible.’
‘Good! This world doesn’t have the capacity for word shaping. I should know, I’ve been here long enough and I’ve seen nothing to show me I’m wrong.’
‘You’re the spy, aren’t you?’ Max said with distain. ‘You’re the one Jacob Carvallen sent here to keep an eye on us.’
‘That’s right, and I do a very good job.’
‘You think letting teenage girls kidnap people and suck them through a magic book into another dimension is good work, do you?’
Imelda deflated a bit. ‘That was unfortunate, yes. But you’re back now and it doesn’t appear that my world is in any trouble from what you’re saying?’
‘No, it all looks fine. Only Merelie and Gandalf think anything’s up. The Chapter Lands are cool. You can stop worrying and go back to the day job.’ This led him to another point. ‘You’re a Wordsmith, then?’ he asked.
‘I am.’
‘Any good, are you?’
‘My skills are more than adequate for the task assigned to me.’
Max raised an eyebrow. The ‘task assigned’ seemed to be making sure the filing cards were in the right order and arranging primary school displays in the front window.
She noticed his expression. ‘Oh alright, I’m not exactly called upon to be a Wordsmith much, but I can still word shape if I have to.’
In actual fact, it had been so many years since she’d been required to use the skills taught to her, she didn’t know if she could still do it.
Imelda had no intention of telling Max Bloom that.
‘Oh yeah, that’s what it’s called.
Word shaping
,’ Max said, waggling his fingers around in the air, eyes rolling about in their sockets.
‘Don’t be flippant. I don’t have to justify my people to you, boy.’
‘And I don’t have to stand here listening to you either.’ Max picked up The Cornerstone. ‘I should take this away and burn it.’
‘You wouldn’t dare!’ Imelda was horrified.
‘Wouldn’t I?’
‘It wouldn’t burn anyway. It’s no ordinary book.’
‘I’m well aware of that, thanks.’ He turned it over in his hands. ‘Pity. I think I’d be doing us a favour. Shut us off from your world completely. Then you’d leave us alone.’
‘That wouldn’t happen. This world is linked to Chapter House Carvallen now. Permanently.’
‘Great,’ he said, throwing the book to her and getting up. ‘Why don’t you read yourself home and catch up on the latest gossip? I’m done here.’
Imelda watched Max Bloom storm out of the room and hoped it was the last time she’d be seeing him. She put The Cornerstone back on the coffee table and sighed with relief. It looked like all was well in the Chapter Lands and she could store the book back in the library shelves without worrying about unauthorised use any more.
On both these counts, she was one hundred percent wrong.
Max Bloom wasn’t done with her yet and The Cornerstone would get used again quite soon.
…it just wouldn’t be anyone using it from
this
side of the doorway next time.
We’ve followed Max for some time now during this hair-raising adventure.
…some might even say during this
far-fetched
adventure - but they would be people with a distinct lack of imagination.
A lack of imagination is something that apparently plagues the entire civilisation of Earth, according to the denizens of the Chapter Lands.
No-one is capable of ‘Wordcraft’.
Most can read and write, but performing supernatural feats using power created by words in a book?
Nope.
…not a sausage.
There are stories by the million and books by the tonne, but not one person is able to so much as ripple the surface of a puddle with these strange abilities.
Perhaps this is because the whole thing just sounds so…
woolly
.
A load of old pony’s knackers, to put it in Max’s parlance.
The idea that channelling the emotion and conscious thought of thousands of people into some kind of physical power is enthralling - but sounds pretty unlikely, no matter how open minded you are. It’s all bordering on the realm of metaphysics, which is best left to people with bushy beards and inadequate social lives.
And they would have discovered it, wouldn’t they? If it was even
possible
to measure the weight of thought and feeling, the brainiacs would have worked out how to by now, surely? Otherwise, what’s the point in having a big beard and no girlfriend?
Having said all that, when you think about a book you love – one that captures your imagination and affects you deep down – you could almost believe they do have a power beyond the words on the page…
These were the thoughts rolling around in Max Bloom’s head as he rode home.
The further he went from the library, the more it felt like the whole escapade into the Chapter Lands had been a bad day-dream.
Max knew it
had
happened of course and his mind was merely trying to distance itself from such a patently absurd incident, but that didn’t prevent him feeling like he’d been hijacked for a few hours and taken on a joy-ride through the fantasy section of Waterstones:
Chapter Houses and Custodians.
Cornerstones and Chapter Lords.
Monsters from the void and invisible guardians.
Different dimensions and damsels in distress.
It just needs a tetchy dragon on a pile of gold and it’s complete.
Except that wasn’t entirely true…
The world he’d visited wasn’t some medieval fantasy land, with pixies and elves frolicking about in the trees, getting right up everyone’s nose.
The Chapter House had looked and felt quite modern… like an Ikea showroom. The city outside had looked advanced as well.
Nobody had talked in thee's and thou’s, or flounced around in flowing gowns and shiny suits of armour. It had felt like a real, living place, not the product of some fevered hallucination.
Deciding he hadn’t gone as mad as a kettle of badgers, and that the Chapter Lands did exist, the question remained: would he ever go back?
Probably not.
He’d come away from the place feeling extremely inferior - a member of a species looked down upon by everyone ‘over there’ for reasons which he didn’t think were fair. This wasn’t a pleasant notion, and he’d like to forget about it as quickly as possible.
Max didn’t know it, but he was the first person in history to have this feeling.
Oh, we all feel inferior to one another now and again - but knowing there was a race of people in another dimension who thought the entire human race was slower than the M25 on a bank holiday weekend?
Unique to Max, that one.
…it’s not even like it was an accurate opinion anyway.
The human race is very advanced, after all.
It’s got computers and cars and planes and mobile phones and fast food… and spaceships - which admittedly don’t work very well these days, but that’s beside the point.
Humans can fly across the planet, communicate with one another instantly… and look a decade younger with surgery - painful and invasive surgery admittedly, but that is
also
beside the point.
What right did the Chapter Lands lot have to think they were better?
What had they accomplished that was greater than the achievements of Earth’s population?
Okay, the ability to lift objects with the power of thought, punch holes in the fabric of space-time and create a book that lets you travel across dimensions was quite impressive - but could they download the Family Guy theme tune anywhere in the world for a quid? Or fly across the planet in one day, 40,000 feet up in a long metal tube, breathing other people’s farts?
No they could not!
Max gave up defending his species as he rode up the drive to his house, feeling a deep sense of relief he’d made it home.
Being in another dimension was about as far away as you could get, so making it back to the three-bed semi he lived in with his eccentric family was a blessing - and damn lucky in the circumstances.