Chapter 15
T
he bright sun blinding, they stared at each other.
Chloe sat on the chair in the bay window, all her muscles tense and coiled tight.
Awkward didn't begin to describe the situation. It was like as soon as the dawn had broken, sanity had reared its ugly head.
Jack sat on the edge of the bed in jeans and a long-sleeved navy T-shirt, watching her,
He was uncomfortable. Unsure.
The problem with sleeping with someone she knew like the back of her hand was that she didn't have to guess at his mood. Right now it was debatable if that was a blessing or a curse.
He glanced beyond her and cleared his throat. “So. Now what?”
She didn't want to have this conversation. Because now they had to decide and she didn't know what she'd do if he thought it was all a mistake.
She took a deep breath. She'd done the crime and now she had to pay the price. Even if that price was the loss of her best friend. “I don't know. Can we forget it happened?”
His expression clouded. “I can't forget it happened.”
She looked out the window. “Can you go back to being just friends?”
Please say no.
He was silent for a long time and she couldn't bear to look at him.
He cleared his throat. “I can't lose you as a friend.”
Her stomach sank. She closed her eyes, remembering the way he moved so desperately inside her last night. His whispered words. The way he chanted her name, low and sweet. Her lashes fluttered open. “Okay. You won't lose me.”
“Do you promise?” His voice was soft.
He was breaking her heart. She would try her very best to pretend, because she loved him. “I promise.”
There was silence. Tension filled the room.
“So . . .” he trailed off, shifted on the bed, before running a hand through his hair. “Do we go back to normal?”
“What choice do we have?” Besides the obvious one sitting right in front of them that neither of them wanted to speak out loud.
“I guess there isn't any.”
If she didn't get out of here, she was going to cry. She glanced at the clock. “What time do we have to check out?”
“Eleven.”
She nodded and stood. “I'm going to go for a walk.”
She started toward the door, and he grabbed her wrist. She looked down at him and hope surged deep and strong.
Don't let me go. Please don't let me go.
He searched her face, his grasp tight on her. “It already feels different.”
The hope died a swift, sudden death. “It's going to take a little time.”
“I don't want that. I want it to be the way it was, the way it's always been.” His expression clouded, his frown deepening on his lips.
Lips that had kissed her like she was his salvation, like he was starving for her not hours ago.
She wanted to scream at him. How could he want that after last night? How could he want to go back to the way they had been? To stuff her back in that box after everything they'd just shared?
And suddenly she was furious. Furious at him. Furious at herself for being so goddamn stupid. She ripped out of his grasp. “I'm sorry, Jack. It's going to take me more than an hour to be your best friend again.”
Then she stormed out of the room and didn't look back.
* * *
Jack flinched as the door slammed shut behind Chloe.
He'd screwed up. The whole time he was talking he'd known it was going horribly, but he had been helpless to stop the descent.
He hadn't known what to say. How to put into words what he was feeling. He was terrified. Chloe was the most important thing in the world to him, more important than his parents or his brother and sister. More important than any of his other friends.
It had always been the two of them, thick as thieves.
She was everything. He couldn't lose her.
But last night . . . He cursed under his breath and dragged his hand through his hair.
Last night, Chloe had single-handedly blown away every sexual encounter he'd ever had in his entire life. She'd obliterated every other woman from his mind. Permanently. He had no idea how to go back to looking at her as a platonic friend.
Every time he looked at her, all he could think about was how she felt coming around his cock and the look in her eyes as she ran a finger over his jaw. The way she'd said his name in that pleading little whisper. Begging him to take her harder, faster.
He'd made her orgasm in every possible way. Addicted to the sight, the intake of her breath, the swell of her chest, the flush that spread over her breasts. The feel of her nipples in his mouth, rolling over his tongue.
But he couldn't lose her as his best friend. He just couldn't.
She was too important to him.
He had to find a way to make this right.
He shot off the bed, grabbing the key to the room, determined to find her.
She'd said she wanted to walk, so he'd have to search the grounds for her. He walked down the hall to the foyer and spotted Amelia Rose behind the desk. He stalked over to her.
She gave him that serene, peaceful smile. “Good morning, Jack, how was your evening?”
Terrible. Awesome. Terrifying. Mind-blowing.
He clenched his jaw. “Fine. Have you seen Chloe?”
She
tsked
. “She looked quite upset.”
He tried his best not to let his annoyance show; after all, it wasn't Amelia Rose's fault his life had just been blown to hell because of her fortune-telling. “Yeah, I know, that's why I have to find her.”
She patted his hand. “It's okay, you know.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
Another reassuring pat. “I mean, it's okay to love her. It's your destiny.
She's
your destiny.”
All the air whooshed from Jack's lungs and the room spun, twirling away as his mind grappled with the implications of what the older woman was saying. He felt a wave of nausea, a rush of panic, and then, just as suddenly as the turmoil began, it stilled. Settled.
His entire perception of the world changed and everything made sense. He blinked at Amelia Rose. “I'm in love with Chloe.”
She smiled. “Yes, I know, dear. It's written all over you. I knew the second I saw you.”
All he could do was stare at the woman and repeat, “I'm in love with Chloe.”
Amelia Rose nodded. “Maybe you should tell her that.”
“I'm afraid.” He had no idea why he was telling the woman this, but he couldn't seem to help himself.
“It's okay, men often are.” She laughed, and it was a light, lyrical sound. “You'll survive.”
Jack could only stand there, trying to come to terms with this life-changing turn of events.
He loved Chloe.
He'd
always
been in love with Chloe. She meant everything to him because that's what she actually was. Everything.
Amelia Rose pointed toward the front door. “She went outside. I believe I saw her wander off in the direction of the woods.”
He sucked air into his lungs. “Thank you.”
“You're welcome.”
Jack took off, practically running. He needed to find her. He prayed to God she somehow felt the same way.
Because he couldn't live without her for one more second.
Chapter 16
C
hloe stood in the center of a deep wooded area, staring up at the brilliant red, gold, and orange leaves of the tallest tree, crying.
What had she done?
How could they ever recover from this?
Heart heavy, she could only let the tears flow.
Somehow she had to learn to be friends with him. To accept that he didn't feel the same way about her as she did about him. She'd have to find a way, because she'd promised him and she couldn't break her promise.
“Chloe!” Jack yelled from off in the distance.
She pressed her lips together, frantically brushing the tears from her cheeks.
He couldn't see her cry. She had to pull it together.
He yelled her name again, this time his voice louder, closer. She scrubbed at her face with the hem of her shirt.
He crashed through the leaves, leaping over a fallen tree, before coming to a sudden halt. A deep frown marred his perfect features. “You're crying.”
Of course she couldn't fool him. She shrugged. “I'm sorry I'm not taking this as coolly as you are.”
He took three steps toward her, stopped, and then shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I'm not taking this coolly, Chloe.”
Anger bubbled up inside her and she let it take over her sadness, using it as fuel, as a shield to protect her breaking heart. “You certainly seem like you are.”
He shook his head. “I'm a fucking mess.”
Because he didn't want to ruin their friendship.
She just needed to find a way to deal with it. She was not an avoider. She straightened her shoulders. All her life she'd been honest with Jack, and she wasn't going to change now just because they'd slept together. Not about something this important. She had to tell him the truth, and since they were best friends he'd have to understand. That was the way they did things.
She took a deep breath. “I have to tell you something.”
“I have to tell you something, too.” He moved closer and she held up a hand to stop him.
“Me first.”
He opened his mouth as though he was going to say something but stopped. “Okay.”
“Last night, when we thought for a moment we'd been drugged, I didn't feel the way I should.” The tightness in her chest increased, but she trudged on, despite her fear.
“How did you feel?”
She steeled her spine. Confession was good for the soul, or so she'd been told. It would be hard to recover from, but eventually she'd get over the humiliation of secretly falling for her best friend. “I felt disappointed. I should have been relieved, as it would have given us a completely logical explanation for our sudden . . . um . . . impulse-control problems. But I was disappointed instead.”
His features widened. “You were?”
“Yes.” She bit her bottom lip, still swollen from all the hours they'd kissed. Hard, soul-deep kisses that had taken her breath away. That she'd gotten lost in.
Her throat closed over. Here came the hard part. The truth she barely wanted to admit to herself, let alone him, but it had to be done. She clasped her hands tight in front of her, and tears welled in her eyes. “I'm sorry, Jack. I know this is unfair. I know I promised. But I can't do it. I can't be your friend.” She let out a strangled sob. “Maybe, at some point, but I'm going to need time.” Wetness spilled onto her cheeks. “I don't know how much. I'm sorry.”
She started to cry in earnest, and she looked down at the leaf-strewn ground and waited for him to leave.
There was nothing but silence. A cold, eerie silence that stilled her heart and numbed her all over.
She heard the rustle of leaves. She choked back her hiccupy mess.
She didn't want to do this, but she had no other choice.
The truth was the only way.
Then his arms were around her, strong and warm. She wanted so badly to push him away, but she didn't have the strength. This one last time she'd let him comfort her. Soak in the feel of him as he held her tight.
He stroked her hair and she cried, pressing her face to his strong, capable chest. He ran a thumb over her cheek, down her jaw, before tilting her face up to his. He frowned as he took in her tear-streaked face.
She whispered, “I'm sorry, Jack.”
He wiped away the wetness. “I love you, Chloe.”
Everything inside her stilled. What did he say? “W-wh-hat?”
He ran the pad of his thumb over her lip. “I love you. I've always loved you. I think you've been in my life for so long, that you're so engrained into the very fabric of it, somewhere along the way I fell so in love with you I couldn't even comprehend it.”
“You love me?”
Please, let it be true.
“I don't want to be friends with you.” He leaned down and brushed her lips with his. “Well, no, that's not right. I want you to be my best friend. I want to tell you about my bad days and my good days. I want to have dinner with you. I want to lie on the couch and watch movies with you. I want you to be the last person I talk to before I go to bed at night and the first person I talk to when I wake up in the morning.”
A huge, trembling smile spread over her mouth. “We already do all that.”
He grinned back. “Yeah, we do. But now I want the mind-blowing sex part, too.”
She sucked in a breath. She wanted it, too. “You do?”
His attention dipped to her mouth. “I don't think I can live without screwing your brains out every night.”
Laughter spurted from her lips, and she slapped him on the arm. “That's not romantic.”
His arms tightened around her. “Chloe Armstrong, you have ruined me for all other women. I have loved you and worshiped you and compared everyone else I've ever met to you. And they
always
come up short. I have hated every guy you've ever been with, and now I know why, because I'm the only one who can have you. You have always been mine, and you will always be mine. I think it's time to make it official.”
“Okay.” All her stress and turmoil melted away. It was right, they were right. They'd just been too blinded by their friendship to see it.
He pinched her. “Is that all you have to say? Don't you have
anything
else to tell me?”
She rose to her tiptoes and kissed him. “I love you, too.” She grabbed the waistband of his jeans and tugged. “Now, take me.”
He looked around. “Here?”
“Here.” She was already unbuttoning his jeans.
He pulled her questing fingers away. “Are you kidding? There are probably ticks all over the place. I can't have you ending up with Lyme disease.”
See, this was why they were so perfect for each other. She huffed, planting her hands on her hips. “Lyme disease?
Really?
I offer you my body, and you're thinking about ticks?”
He shrugged. “I'm a doctor. Best-case scenario you're out of commission for months. I don't like those odds. I've managed to last thirty years, I can make it back to the room.”
“Well, fine, but as a concession I expect you to make it up to me.”
He hooked his finger in her belt loop and yanked her close. “Name your price.”
“I expect roadside car sex on the way home.”
He pretended to think it over before he nodded. “Deal.”
She laughed, her heart light and free. She got to have it all. Her best friend, exactly the way they'd always been, but now they'd be complete with nonstop sex and multiple orgasms.
No way life could get any better than this.