The Cougar's Wish (Desert Guards) (37 page)

“Give up my life for a man I don’t know, who
kidnapped
me, you mean.”

“No, to add the man to the life you had. You would have both had to make changes, but you didn’t even stop to consider that.”

“You’re right that I didn’t consider it, because I didn’t want it.”

“I know you didn’t and that you still don’t.” Miles sighed and opened the cabinet over the counter. “I love you for doing this for him, but I gotta tell you that you drive me nuts.”

“Feeling’s mutual.”

They put away bread, meat, condiments, and snacks, and then Miles snapped the cooler lid shut with finality. “I’m going to call you in a couple of hours to see how things are.”

“Okay.”

Miles, whose driver’s license was probably being overly generous in stating she was five feet tall, stretched up onto her tiptoes to give Hannah a one-armed hug, and then hurried up the stairs. Hank followed her, but not after casting an inscrutable look in Hannah’s direction.

She put her hands up in concession. Hank was aggressively protective not only of his mate, but of his family. He and Hannah had had it out in words a couple of times, but for the most part, they understood each other pretty well. She was hotheaded as hell, and he was excessively practical. But they weren’t just arguing for the sake of it. They couldn’t help but to argue. He was the Cougar second-in-command, and she had a job that had gone unfilled in the glaring for several generations. Nobody knew what to make of her. And not only was Hannah in a body she no longer felt at home in, but she had a job predicated on her belonging to a man she’d refused.

“Hannah, if you really want to do this, you need to try to get close,” Mason said softly from the stairwell, jogging Hannah out of her mental meanderings.

“I’ve been trying,” she said mildly.

“Ignore the hisses. He’s not going to do anything to you. Even if he nips you, it’ll be a warning he won’t follow through on.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he’s not going to hurt his mate. You’ve gotta touch him to get through to him.”

His mate.
She let out a sputtering breath. “Okay. I’ll try.”

Mason’s overlong stare had enough skepticism in it that she didn’t need to ask if he had faith in her.

“Mason, I
will
,” she said. “Just go.
Please
.”

He likely thought she’d drag her feet—and that was indeed her inclination—but she’d meant it when she said she’d try. She wanted to get out of that basement, and for so many reasons.

“Are you sure about this?”

She tried to put on a smile and nodded. “Yeah.”

Mason shifted his weight, and after a few more seconds of staring—and one more glance at his brother—he started up the stairs.

Her life was a mess, her identity no longer clear. Pulling Sean out meant she could go figure things out without having someone constantly on her damn heels watching her as if she’d do something rash. She could get some space from all the Foyes and from her friends who looked at her with that frustrating mix of pity and annoyance.

She could confront her demons in private instead of in front of people who thought she was angry all the time just because she’d been kidnapped and scratched up. There were so many other reasons to be angry that had nothing to do with them.

And she could have her revenge on the little snot who’d scratched her up, and his brother, too. Ralphie Sheehan may have scratched her accidentally, but his family had been churning up trouble in the area for as long back as anyone could remember. They’d wanted to run things, but met resistance at every turn—not just within the glaring, but in local politics amongst the humans in town, too.

Ralphie’s brother Edgar was the thorn in Mason’s side, and had been promoting alpha challenges between his friends and Mason frequently in the five years since Mason’s father Floyd had died. Edgar never won. His friends never won. They kept at it anyway, likely assuming that eventually, Mason would get frustrated and step down voluntarily.

Mason wouldn’t. He was the rightful alpha. Edgar must have realized that, but he’d changed tactics. He’d tried to snatch Ellery to prevent her from being able to accept Mason as a mate. She’d obviously gotten away, but not without a scuffle, which in the end sent the Sheehans on the run. They were still out there somewhere, stirring up drama from afar.

Hannah had no choice but to give chase, not only because they’d hurt her friend, but because she was programmed to avenge the glaring. She didn’t see where she had a choice.

The heavy basement door thundered shut, and the lock on the other side clicked into position. Sean could make a run for it all he wanted, but he wouldn’t get far, even if he did have the opposable thumbs needed to turn the knob. That door was heavily reinforced; she’d learned that firsthand after spending a fair amount of time locked into the basement last month. Sean hadn’t been able to let her leave until he’d had his fair chance to woo her. After all, she would have run to the first phone she could find and called the authorities and her family.

She’d obviously lost that inclination. Exposing the Foyes would be putting herself at risk, too. Knowing her luck, her body would end up in a refrigerated morgue drawer and the subject of an X-File. She could imagine just how colorful those case notes would be.

Yeah, she kind of sucked.

She made herself a sandwich and settled back into her corner. Again, she watched Sean watch her. His gaze dipped and rose with every movement of her hand with her food. “Are you hungry?”

Sean put his head down atop his paws and closed his eyes.

“I guess that’s a no.”

All the same, she stood, and slowly made her way across the room. She needed to take advantage of the moment of calm—of his sleepiness. Try as he might to stay awake, even Were-cougars had their limits. He had to be exhausted. Between the nightmares and staying up watching him, she certainly was.

He lifted his head slightly as she neared.

She made her steps smaller and held her breath, approaching him in a sort of roundabout way by walking a wide arc. When she was three feet from him, his head was down, and he opened his eyes. She couldn’t even remember what color the man’s eyes were; she was so used to the cat’s green.

She made herself as small as she could against the wall near him by pulling her knees up to her chest.

His eyelids drifted shut, and she pulled in a much-needed breath.

As an emergency room nurse, she’d dealt with her fair share of patients who didn’t want to be helped, or who just didn’t want her kind of help. She was tasked with providing them with medical care in spite of their misguided distrust of her. She’d learned how to compartmentalize those slights because people in pain didn’t necessarily have the best instincts.

Why she’d expected Sean would let her approach him willingly after she’d done everything she could to keep him away since her arrival in New Mexico, she’d never know. She shouldn’t have expected him to let her do this “favor” for him easily. If his mind really was more cougar than man at the moment, he’d see her as a person not to trust, and maybe she deserved it.

She took a bite of her sandwich and set it on the floor beside her, chewing thoughtfully.

She’d been trying to embrace the changes in her life one item at a time, starting with accepting this new
creature
she was. In the past couple of months, she’d rubbed elbows with witches, demons, minor gods, and shapeshifters, and had even fought against some.

It was becoming harder to be angry with Sean doing what his nature impelled him to do. She was a logical woman—despite what her parents believed—and understood that if he’d had a choice, he wouldn’t have kidnapped a stranger to gain a mate. No one needed that kind of frustration, especially not for a woman like Hannah. Although in the days leading up to the fight where she’d been scratched, he’d wanted to put her on a plane and send her home—even if it meant succumbing to the curse. He’d said he would have preferred to spend the rest of his life—however long it might be—in his animal form to enduring any more frustration with her.

And yet he was the man who was supposed to be her fated match. If he couldn’t deal with her, then what man could?

“I’m so fucked.” Laughing at the silliness of it all, she rested a tentative hand between Sean’s ears, and gave him the gentlest rub that made the fur down his spine stand on end.

His body was tense, but he kept his eyes closed. She listened out for a growl or hiss, but it didn’t come, so she rubbed a little harder, down the slope of his neck, and let her arm drape over his back.

There were some words she had to say. The specific ones didn’t matter, or even the tone she said them in. He just needed to believe them. Getting him to believe anything she said that wasn’t obvious malice would be the hard part.

“I …”

He opened his eyes halfway and peered at her out of the corners.

Now or never
. If she waited long enough, she would talk herself out of it. The guilt would go away and eventually, she’d tell herself it was all for the best if Sean didn’t come back.

His mother and brothers wouldn’t think that, though, nor would Miles and Ellery.

“Sean, I … I guess I accept you as a mate. For now.” She cringed and drew her hand back. The doubt would cancel out the impact, she was certain of that. “I mean, I
do
accept you as my mate. I … I don’t know what else to say.”

She tucked her chin atop her knees and tightened her arms around her shins. If he didn’t come back, it’d be her fault. And if he did come back, she had to start an immediate quest to find him someone new—someone “more suitable”—or Lola would slam them right back to where they started, and probably curse Hannah, too, even if she was her avenger.

She wasn’t cut out to be anyone’s mate, fated or not, so she hoped that woman was out there somewhere and easy to find.

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For more books by Holley Trent, check out:

The Cougar’s Pawn

A Demon in Waiting

A Demon in Love

A Demoness Matched
(Melt My Heart
anthology)

A Demon Bewitched

Colleen’s Choice

My Nora

Sold as Is

“
A Demon in Waiting
is a quick, enjoyable read. The characters are very well developed and the story moves along at a great pace. John is a refreshing hero. I loved the ‘new to the job’ demon angle. I am looking forward to future books in this series.” —Book Chick City

"
A Demon in Love
succeeds in being both sizzling and ‘awww’ inspiring, so there will be no shortage of people interested in the adventures of the next sibling in line!" —
InD'Tale
Magazine

“
Trent once again had me hooked with her seamless and creative storytelling as well as her vivid world.” —Pure Jonel

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