The Cowboy Who Strolled Into Town (66 page)

I begged him to stop. I couldn't believe that he was saying such things about us.  We'd talked about that when we'd first got together. I reminded him. We had said that it didn't matter to us, that we were just two people who had found each other and nothing else mattered. I thought he understood. I was happy with him. I didn't want things to change. I didn't need things to change. But when I told him that he just wouldn't listen and he wouldn't speak either. I tried to get him to tell me something else, anything, to give me a good reason as to why he wanted to break up with me but he just kept saying that it was wrong and it wasn't proper, that I deserved someone who was a better fit. I don't care about that. All I wanted was him and he just threw it back in my face. Then he told me to leave in the morning and that we shouldn't see each other again. I've tried calling him but he won't answer. I don't know what I'm going to do when I have to go back to the store. It's going to be hell seeing him again. I just don't understand why he'd say things like that. What does it mean?” she said, and then, emotionally drained, she choked on her breath. Jenna handed her a glass of water and made Emily drink it.

“I don't know, it seems odd why he'd say that now after all this time. If the age was such an issue then why both going out with you in the first place?”

“And it really didn't matter to me, I mean, when we were together I just forgot all about it. And really he's not that old. He's only 54, and he's in really good shape. Nowadays that's still pretty young I mean a lot of people live into their 90s.”

“Are you sure he didn't say anything else?”

“No, he just acted like he didn't want to know me, and he didn't even want to discuss it. I thought I meant more to him than that. I thought we had something real and meaningful but he just acted like it was easy enough to throw it away without a second thought.”

“And you haven't spoken to him at all since?”

“It only happened last night. I tried to call him this morning when I got home. I just want to understand, to know why all this happened, but he wouldn't pick up. I'm supposed to go back to the store tomorrow. How am I going to face him?” she asked, and Jenna was moved by the sheer agony in Emily's voice.

“It'll be okay, you know, these things happen and sometimes you just never know why people do what they do. Obviously he has his reasons, all you can do is try and cope with it. And I'm here to help you do that. I know it's not going to be easy and that you really liked him-”

“I love him,” Emily said, and coughed on her own tears again.

“Oh, wow, I didn't realize it had gotten that far.”

“He told me that he loved me too!” Emily said, and began sobbing again. Jenna's top was soaked with the salty tears cascading down Emily's cheeks and she didn't know what to say or what to do. There were so many things running through Jenna's mind that just seemed like empty platitudes, so instead of saying anything she just sat with her friend and did her best to be there for her. The hours went by and still Emily cried. Jenna wondered how long she was going to have to stay with her for. Occasionally the weeping was broken up by Emily yelling to the heavens, trying to get to some understanding of what had happened but Jenna knew that sometimes these things just didn't go to plan. Secretly, she suspected that there was something else going on because it struck her as odd that Mr. Johnson would change so dramatically, but love was often an unpredictable and elusive thing, and often it slipped away as quickly as the night.

Eventually Emily settled down.

“Are you going to be okay if I go home?” Jenna asked. “I'll stay if you want me too, but it is getting late.”

“I'll be okay,” Emily said, nodding gently, I just don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. Part of me can't face seeing him but I have to go into work.”

“Well, how about I come and pick you up and we'll go in together. I'll be right there if you need me,” she offered. Emily smiled and her spirits seemed to be lifted.

“Thank you so much for being here, I'm so glad that you're my friend.” The two young women hugged tightly, and Jenna told Emily that if she needed her just to call. After she left, Jenna's thoughts were with her friend and hoped that something could be done because, despite the age difference, the two of them had made a good match.

3

When Jenna returned home she was about to head upstairs to get back to Riley when her father interrupted her and asked to speak to her in the lounge. He had fully recovered from his stroke, and was able to go back working at the store full time, although Jenna still advised him against it because he was supposed to be taking it easy. But, he still seemed like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and it pained Jenna to see that he wasn't taking any joy from life. He walked into the kitchen and took a seat at their round table, and placed his hands in front of him.

“Is everything okay?” she asked as she took a seat opposite him, and sat with her back straight, while he was hunched forward. When he spoke it was in a soft voice and he did not look up at her.

“I've been thinking a lot recently about a great many things. Seeing you take care of me was pleasing and I'm glad that you were here, but it made me realize how much I miss your mother. It's very difficult for me to live without her. I thought it would get easier over time but it only ever seems to get more difficult and I'm not sure when it's going to get any better, if at all. All around there are reminders of her and I know she wouldn't want me to keep living in the past but it's so hard to forget her when she was all I ever wanted in life. For the longest time I didn't know how to live without out, and I still don't think I do, but suffering from that stroke was a wake-up call. It made me realize that I don't have that much time left and I'm not always going to be around. When I think of your mother I don't remember her as the frail woman lying in bed with tubes sticking into her body,” being reminded of that made Jenna wince inside, “I think of the first time we met when she was laughing, or the way she used to skip over puddles like she was a child. She used to look at everything with wonder and I get the feel that she'd be upset with me if she knew that I was living like this. I want to live my life as a testament to her, to embrace the years I have left and try and find some semblance of happiness.”

“What are you saying?” Jenna asked, somewhat confused.

Her father took a heavy sigh and finally looked up at her. She looked into his wide, chocolate-brown eyes and tried to amalgamate the man that was sitting in front of her with the man that had raised her. He had been a strong man once, now he looked gaunt and weak. His skin was sallow and his hair had thinned rapidly, the ever-receding hairline giving way to a domed scalp. His hands trembled slightly when he moved them and it was a sin against the world that he hadn't been allowed to grow old with the woman he loved.

“I've been thinking about the future a lot, not just mine but yours as well. I know that you sacrificed a lot to stay here and part of me has always regretted that. I wanted you to be able to live the life you wanted because you were meant for more than staying in this town.”

“It's okay dad, if I hadn't stayed here then I wouldn't have met Riley so I'm glad I didn't move away. And I know I complain about it sometimes but it isn't all that bad really. I have Emily, and I do like working at the store.”

“But you could have been so much more and I feel like I've failed as a father,” he said, and his eyes glistened with tears.

“Oh dad...” she said, and reached out a hand to squeeze it with sympathy. He sniffed back the tears and tried to compose himself.

“I have some things I've been thinking about and they affect you so I want your input. I'm thinking about selling the store and moving to somewhere with a warmer climate that's more of a community for me so I won't have to be a burden on you, and you won't have an excuse to stay here any longer. The other option is that I leave the store to you, and you can be the manager and take it over. It's up to you which one you want but I don't want you to decide right away. I want you to think about it because it's a big decision,” he said. Jenna was stunned as he left her.

“You've always been a good daughter, and I'm so proud of you,” he said, kissing her on the cheek as he left the room. Many thoughts were rolling around her mind as she numbly walked up the stairs. Riley was waiting for her and pulled her into bed, peppering her with kisses as she entered the room, but it only took a few moments for him to realize that she had something else on her mind.

“Is everything okay?” he asked. Jenna looked at him with a confused expression on her face, for even she wasn't sure. They sank on the bed and she proceeded to tell him about everything, Jenna and her father. When she had finished Riley processed it all.

“That's, I mean, that's a good thing, right? You've been saying how your father needed a new lease of life.”

“Yeah, but this is leaving everything he's ever known!”

“It does mean that we could start a new life somewhere, or we could follow in your parents' footsteps and run a store,” he said. “It kinda appeals to me, y'know, just having a small store in a hometown where we can know everyone's names and we can greet them as they come in,” but while he spoke with enthusiasm she was still sitting there looking into distance. Faced with a choice that she never thought she would get she didn't know which path to choose. For so long she had wanted to leave the town but had stayed for her father, or had it really been for her father? Had it just been an excuse for her to remain in her comfort zone.

Riley tilted her head towards him and took her hands in his, trying to shake her from her state of shock.

“This is something that we can think about and discuss some more. We don't have to make a decision right away,” he said, “but whatever happens know that I'll be by your side. If you want to stay here and run the store that's great, I'll be your partner and I'll work there and we can make a life here, but if you want to try something new and build a new life somewhere else I'll be there as well. Wherever you go, I'll be there, right by your side to support you.” Jenna was overwhelmed with love and held him tightly. They fell back to the bed and lay there, stroking each other.

“Emily is in a bad way as well,” she said, “it's so hard to watch her like that and knowing there's nothing I can do.”

“Well, to be honest, and I don't want to be too harsh against Emily here, but it was always on the cards wasn't it.”

“What do you mean?” Jenna asked, looking up at him.

“They weren't exactly suited to each other...”

“I thought they got on really well. They had the same sense of humor and it was obvious they cared for each other. That's what makes this really strange, he doted on her. I can't believe that he'd just turn around and change his mind that easily. There has to be something else going on,” she said.

“That's not what I mean,” he said, and felt a little awkward, “you know, with the age difference, it wasn't ever going to be anything serious with so many years between them. Things like that just can't work.”

Jenna looked at him with shock and surprise.

“I can't believe you of all people would say something like that.”

“Why?”

“What about us?”

“Jenna, I'm a few years older than you but I wouldn't say it was a huge difference.”

“I don't mean that. I mean lots of people would say the same thing about us. Because of our skin color,” she said. The two of them hadn't really spoken about the difference in their skin color, which was as it should be because it shouldn't have been factor but the simple fact of the matter that in many parts of the world, including some places close to home, people still looked oddly at them and only a few decades previously their relationship would have been controversial.

“That's not the same situation.”

“Isn't it? Lots of people would have said that we don't have enough in common because we have different ancestors. It's exactly the same. Age is only a matter of the time we've spent on earth. It doesn't change anything about the person inside. You've seen the two of them together and how well-matched they were. Do you think it's alright for two people to be denied happiness because of something as simple as their age? Would you be okay if we weren't allowed to be together because of the difference in our skin color?”

Riley couldn't find a good answer to that and he looked suitably chastised.