Authors: Linda Ford
Colby knew there was no money. Harv had led the men to believe there was in order to make them obey his orders. A treasure. Money. Lots of it. Hidden in a safe place. He’d take them there. But first they had to…whatever scheme Harv dreamed up.
To start with, Colby had gone along with Harv’s plans, not realizing Harv had bigger, badder things in mind.
But one day Lew had grown more belligerent and challenging than usual. Said he took exception to the growing closeness between Colby and Harv.
Not that there was any friendship. Harv simply liked playing the men off against each other.
Colby’s association with them had ended when he shot Lew. Thought he’d killed the man. No loss to society and nobody would dispute it was self-defense, but as Colby stared at the bleeding man, then considered his pistol, he saw what he was becoming and didn’t much care for what he saw.
He’d turned around. Headed home. Back to Anna and his baby. Back to where he’d left his heart.
He thought he could escape his past. But his past had caught up with him.
For now he was safe having led Lew to believe he knew the whereabouts of the fake treasure. But not for long. Lew had never been patient.
But it would ensure that Lew followed him out of town and a good long ways from Anna and Dorrie. What would he do when Lew realized there was no stash of money…
Well, he’d deal with that when the time came.
First he must tell Anna he was leaving.
It would be the hardest task he’d ever taken on. Just when he hoped and prayed he’d begun to prove she could trust him not to run off, he had to do it again.
This time there would be no coming back.
But he couldn’t let her guess that.
He followed after Lew, waiting for him to ride up to the Lucky Lady and saunter in for a drink. No chance the man would leave until he got what he’d come for—the non-existent money and, after that, revenge for Colby shooting him.
Hard to believe the man had survived. But he was too mean to die easily.
Rather than follow Lew inside, he slowly made his way back to Anna’s and the end of his dreams. He would have to be careful when he hugged Dorrie, or Anna would be suspicious. His insides bled worse than Lew had after being shot. He would never see Dorrie grow up but at least she’d be safe and well cared for with Anna.
Anna. He dare not think any further. Just her name in his thoughts was enough to make him weaken.
But he must do what was necessary. He’d failed so many people in the past—his mother, Nora, Hugh, Anna, Dorrie….
He would not, must not, fail this time.
But he didn’t go directly to the manse. He rode down a back trail, tied his horse out of sight of the house and slipped into the church. He could not face this alone.
His knees were difficult to bend, stiffened with regret and resolve, but he forced them to obey and knelt before the cross.
When he found sufficient strength, he rose and went next door.
Anna and Dorrie were in the kitchen. He paused at the door to take in each detail—the cupboard where he had helped Dorrie wash dishes, the stove where he didn’t even have to close his eyes to picture Anna busy cooking, the table where they had shared so many meals. At last he let his gaze touch the two he loved with his whole heart.
Dorrie’s color was almost back to normal after her illness. Her energy increased every day. He smiled at her greeting,
Da-da.
Let his gaze linger on her hair, her blue eyes so much like his.
Last—his heart kicking against his ribs—he let himself look at Anna, the woman he had loved for so long. He wanted to smile, prove to her there was nothing amiss, but at the demanding look in her eyes, he faltered. Had she guessed why he’d come? Already prepared to be angry about it?
“Anna.” He paused. How did he convince her without alarming her? “I have to leave.”
“You’re going with that man aren’t you?”
“Lew. Yes. We have some unfinished business.”
“Why not leave it unfinished? Is it so important? More important than me? Than Dorrie?”
“No. Never. Nothing is more important than you. But this is for your good.” He couldn’t tell her the particulars. She would protest. Might even try
and stop him. And he must go. It was the only way to protect them and put an end to this.
“What do you have that Lew wants?”
He stilled his face to remain blank but her question caught him off guard. “Unfinished business.”
“Who is he? Why does it matter so much what he wants?” If he didn’t hear the cry behind her harsh words, he might have thought she was angry.
He took a step forward but she put up her hand to stall him.
“Can’t you at least tell me what’s going on?”
He wanted to. He wanted to share every detail of his life with her. But would she understand? Would the knowledge somehow increase her risk?
“Colby, I think I deserve to know.”
“Very well, but it’s not a pretty story.” He sat at the table, plopped his hat in front of him and considered where to start.
“You asked why I ran and I told you I was afraid I couldn’t be what you needed. That’s the truth. I told you I failed my ma. That’s the truth. But there’s more. Anna, I can never seem to protect the ones I love.” Except this time he intended to no matter the cost. A cruel, sharp blade tore through his insides but he gritted his teeth. He would not let her know how much it hurt to do this.
“Lew is one of the men I fell in with when I was away.” He told her how Lew and Harv, and others
before them, had welcomed him. How he’d done the things they did, rowdy, drunken things. “I didn’t like what I was doing but I didn’t believe I could change. After all, I am a Bloxham.”
“Change is God’s business.”
He wondered if she truly believed it or simply repeated familiar words. Not that it mattered anymore. “I shot Lew.”
She gasped.
“Left him for dead.”
Her eyes grew wider. The pain in his heart grew more vicious.
“Self-defense, it was. But that’s when I decided I didn’t care what it took. I did not like who or what I was becoming.”
“That’s when you came back here?”
“I came back to you and Dorrie. I came to start over.”
She swallowed hard as if trying to get down something hard and bulky. “Then stay. Stay and start over.”
He would not blink. He would not groan. Instead he would rejoice that he heard the words he longed for. He would carry them in his heart until his death. “I can’t stay. Trust me when I say this is for the best.”
He rose, determination warring with a longing that ached through his entire bloodstream and
touched every cell of his body. One more day. He’d give anything for one more day. But he dare not tempt Lew to violence.
He stroked Dorrie’s hair. Kissed both her cheeks and hugged her. He longed to scoop her out of the chair and hold her forever. But if he showed any unusual degree of emotion, Anna might grow suspicious.
Then he turned to Anna, drinking in every detail. He would hold this picture of her in his mind until the end. “I have to go.” He bent and gently kissed her. He planned to make it short and quick but it would be his one and only kiss and he could not force himself away. He gently pulled her close wanting to hold her forever in his arms.
After her initial surprise she leaned into him, wrapped her arms about his waist and returned his kiss.
From somewhere deep inside he found the strength to slowly, reluctantly, ease back. He squeezed her shoulders and stepped away from her embrace. “Take good care of my Dorrie.”
He rushed for escape before he weakened.
But before he reached the handle, the door flew back and Lew stood in the opening, his pistol drawn.
“W
ell, well. Ain’t this sweet?” The man’s voice had a sinister leer to it.
Colby positioned himself between Lew and the other two. “I’m ready to go. My horse is outside. I’ll take you to the money.”
“I do believe you will.”
Colby edged forward, cautiouslike, so as not to make Lew consider doing something stupid.
“Hold up there. What’s to stop this pretty little gal from running to the sheriff as soon as I leave?”
It’s exactly what she should do. “She won’t. Will you, Anna?”
“Not if you say I shouldn’t.”
Good girl. Let’s lead him along.
Lew snorted. “You don’t expect me to believe that, now do ya?”
Lew could be way too smart sometimes. “You can trust her. After all, she’s the preacher’s daughter.”
“Better she and the baby come along. Provide me a bit of insurance in case you think you can play me for the fool. Lady, pick up that baby and get yourself over here.”
He waved the gun.
Colby considered his options. He’d go for the gun but too risky with Dorrie and Anna so close. He’d have to trust God to provide an opportunity before they left town. “Do as he says, Anna.”
He hoped she wouldn’t decide this was a good time to reveal her stubborn nature. He knew only momentary relief as she clutched Dorrie in her arms and headed for the door.
Lew stepped aside and waved the three of them out.
Colby tried to position himself between Lew and Anna, but Lew would have none of it. “Keep to one side.”
“Just keep walking,” Colby murmured to Anna.
“That’s right, lady. No funny stuff or someone dies.”
Colby knew he would not fire his gun in town because it would bring people running to investigate. He prayed for an opening, for Lew to be careless just one second, but the man had unfalter
ing concentration when he wanted it. And right now with the hope of discovering a fake treasure, he had lots of reason to keep focused.
Three horses were tied at the shed. Lew indicated they should head that way. They reached the mounts. “You first.” He shoved Anna forward.
Colby saw at once that she couldn’t get in the saddle while holding Dorrie. He stepped forward to help and stopped as Lew’s gun bore down on him.
“I’ll take the little sweetheart.”
“No.” Anna jerked back. “I’ll not give her to you.” Before Colby could shout a warning, Anna turned on her heel and ran for all she was worth toward the church. He understood she hoped to reach shelter before Lew could stop her.
“Fool woman.” Lew turned and steadied the gun on Anna.
He intended to shoot her. Maybe Dorrie, too.
“No.” Colby launched himself between Lew and Anna and made a few steps before as a shot rang out. The bullet caught him in his back, pushing him forward. But when he fell, he took Anna and Dorrie with him. At least he could protect them with his body.
The pain turned the edges of his vision red but he was alive. For how long, he didn’t know. “Are you hurt?”
“No.” Her words were muffled by the weight of his body but he wouldn’t have moved if he could. He was a shield for them.
“Is Dorrie hurt?”
Dorrie’s wail informed them she was at least alive.
“Don’t move. Make him either come here or ride away.”
Behind them Lew cursed. “Now see what you made me do.”
Anna turned her head, tried to see him. “Are you shot?”
“At least I could protect you and Dorrie. Now be quiet and lie still.” Every word thundered through his brain, every move she made drove the pain deeper.
Footsteps thundered down the alley. Men called out. “It came from this direction.”
Then more gunshots rang out.
“I love you,” he managed to squeeze out, and then all went black.
An explosive sound had made her ears ring. She was certain Lew had shot his gun. Her heart slammed into her ribs so hard she felt her ribs crack. Then Colby’s weight had hit her hard. Anna fell facedown to the ground, dirt filling her nose, dry grass scratching her cheeks, Dorrie clutched to
her. Instinctively she’d shifted the baby to one side to protect her from Anna’s weight.
She spat out dirt and grass. “I smell blood.” Metallic and sweet.
Colby moaned, “He shot me.”
Colby! Hurt. Panic swirled around her. Would the man shoot her, too? What about Dorrie? The child was pressed solidly to her side, pinned in place by Anna’s arm. She struggled to shift her arm, somehow protect Dorrie more but she couldn’t move and her aching ribs struggled for air.
Colby’s ragged breath blew hot on her neck.
She tried to squirm from under his weight.
“Lie still. This here is the safest place you could be.” His words rumbled from his body, reverberated in her own.
She stopped struggling.
“I love you.” His words came on a whisper and then the weight of his body became intolerable.
“Colby,” she whispered.
He didn’t answer. She no longer felt his breath on her neck. Colby. Her fear crawled up her skin and pooled against her protesting ribs. “Don’t you dare die.”
He loved her. Now was a fine time to say so. Why had he waited so long to speak the words?
Would she have believed them any sooner? How could she be so blind not to see how much he loved
her? He’d give his life for her. Yet she’d stubbornly refused to trust him. Demanded proof when she should have simply welcomed his return and believed him.
And not just him.
She’d found it so hard to trust God. Always she asked herself, would God take her loved ones, would He do what was best for her or was she simply there for the good of others?
Colby was willing to die for her.
Jesus had done so.
Trust should be easier.
It would be from here on.
Colby? Was her trust too late? Hot tears scalded her face and muddied the ground until she lay in a puddle.
Please, God, don’t let him die. Please.
Now was the time to put her faith into action.
I trust You to do what is best.
More gunshots rang out. Anna cringed, fearing she would feel one thud into Colby’s inert body. She tried to pull Dorrie closer but the weight of Colby’s body made it impossible. She struggled to get in enough air to keep from blacking out.
Then voices spoke above her. “Here, give me a hand.”
Slowly, Colby’s body was lifted. Someone called, “Get the doc.”
Another set of hands started to take Dorrie.
Anna fought.
“Let me take her.” It was Grace.
She released her grip and Dorrie was lifted. She realized Dorrie was sobbing. How long had she been crying and Anna didn’t notice? Didn’t hear?
She wanted to flip over but her limbs had no strength. Her lungs fought to get air. Someone gently turned her and helped her sit. “Father.” She buried her head against his chest and wailed. “I’ve been so stupid and blind.” It hurt her lungs to squeeze out the words.
“Shush. Shush.” He patted her back, offering her comfort in a way he had never before. “You’ve just had a terrible shock.”
She jerked from his arms. “Where is that man? Lew?” She glanced around, her eyes burning with dread. Was he still lurking about, waiting for a chance to finish this business between him and Colby?
“He was shot trying to escape. He’s dead.”
Anna tried to feel sorrow at a senseless death but felt only relief that he wouldn’t terrorize them again.
“Colby?” She tried to get to her feet. Again her body would not do as she ordered. “Is he—?” She couldn’t say the word.
“They’ve rushed him over to Doc’s place. He’ll do what he can.”
“He’s still alive?” She had to know the truth.
“I heard someone say he was breathing.”
She moaned and fell back into Father’s arms. “Please pray he doesn’t die.”
“Of course. I already am. Now let’s have a look at you. Are you injured?”
“I’m fine.” Only it took Father on one side and Mr. Percy on the other for her to make it to the house. They helped her to her bedroom and left her to Grace’s care.
Grace brought in water and tenderly washed Anna’s face. Anna lay with her eyes closed, too weak to even protest. At first, she wanted to, she should be looking after herself, then she relaxed. Time to stop trying to take care of everything. Not only did she need to trust God and Colby, she needed to let others help her more.
“Thank God you and Dorrie aren’t injured. You have a few scratches and no doubt you’ll have bruises but nothing serious,” Grace said as she cleaned Anna’s hands.
Anna tried not to flinch. Her palms must be scratched to hurt so. “Dorrie’s all right?”
“I think she was more frightened than anything. Alex is home and he’s amusing her. I heard her laugh a few minutes ago.”
She and Dorrie had gotten off easy. Unlike Colby. Tears washed her eyes and ran down each side of her face.
Grace made a soothing noise and wiped them away. “Come here.” She reached for Anna, urging her into her embrace.
Anna sat up and buried her face against the woman’s shoulder. Sobs racked her.
“You go right ahead and have a good cry.”
Anna cried like she hadn’t cried before. She wept for her fear and regrets over Colby. And her tears carried prayers that he would live, so she could tell him how much she loved him. How much she trusted him. With her life. But she cried for other things, too. Never had she been held and comforted since Rose died. She’d taken all her sorrow to the foot of the cross but now she let warm arms hold her and hot tears cleanse her. She cried until she was spent and Grace’s dress front soaked.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, unable to meet Grace’s eyes. The woman must think she was a weak-kneed ninny. She almost smiled. She was certainly weak-kneed at the moment.
Grace chuckled. “Woman-to-woman, let me tell you there is nothing like a weeping session to ease one’s emotions. Men don’t understand but we do.”
Anna grinned, realizing just how right Grace was. She hadn’t felt so cleansed in a long time. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. Thank God who gave us tears. Now you lie down and rest. I’ll take care of everything else.”
She knew she wouldn’t sleep. She intended to stay awake and pray for Colby until she heard one way or the other. But she fell into a deep dreamless sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
“Mama?”
Tiny fingers brushed at her face. Anna yawned.
“Dorrie, come away and let her sleep,” Alex whispered.
“I’m awake.” She moaned. And remembered why everything hurt. She bolted to her feet. And swayed. Grace was right. She ached in places she didn’t know existed.
“You sure you should be up?” Alex asked.
“I’m fine.” But she sat on the edge of the bed and waited for the dizziness to pass. “Colby?”
“Father,” Alex called. “She’s awake.”
Father was to deliver the news? Fear crept into her throat and made it impossible to swallow. Father’s job was to deliver bad news.
Dorrie wanted to be picked up, but Anna didn’t think she could lift her, so she patted the bed beside her. Dorrie climbed up and buried her face in Anna’s lap. Anna rubbed her back, finding comfort in her nearness. If Colby were gone she would have this sweet bit of him. She pressed her lips to
hold back a cry. She didn’t want to lose Colby. She’d missed too many precious days already.
Father appeared at the doorway. “How are you feeling?”
“Sore but otherwise fine.” She clung to his kind gaze. “Tell me the truth. Is Colby—?”
He sat beside Dorrie and took Anna’s hand. “He’s alive. But just barely. Doc isn’t hopeful.”
Alive. That’s all that mattered. “Then we’ll have to ask God to help him.”
Father turned her hand over and seemed to study the many scrapes and scratches. “We need to trust God to do what is best.”
What was best was for Colby to live so they could enjoy their love. Raise Dorrie together. She fought an intense battle. She had a choice—trust God or wonder about His love. She’d wasted too much time letting God show His love in areas of her choosing, trusting Him when she got her way. She gripped Father’s hand and bowed her head. “Not my will but God’s,” she murmured.
Father squeezed her shoulder and prayed, “Father, we ask that You see fit to heal Colby, bring him back to us, but in this, as we strive to do in all areas, we release him to You and trust Your good mercy and grace.”
Anna sat quietly, her eyes still closed. Great peace filled her. Whatever God sent her way, He
would also send the grace to deal with it. And if what He sent was Colby, she would never let another day pass without telling him she loved him.
“Where is he?”
“Doc kept him at his office until he can be moved.”
“Who is caring for him?”
“There seems no end to his friends wanting to help. Doc had to chase a bunch of them away. Said they were getting underfoot.”
“I want to see him.”
Father hesitated. “Are you up to it?”
“He saved my life. I owe him. Besides…”
Father smiled. “I understand your feelings.”
She ducked her head, afraid he might see far more than gratitude.
“I’ll take you to see him.”
“Thank you. Is Grace here?”
“Yes. She said she’ll be available as long as we need her.”
“Give me a minute to tidy up and then I’ll be ready.”
She was grateful the doctor’s office wasn’t any farther away. As it was, she welcomed the way Father tucked her hand around his arm and let her lean on him. The closer they got to their destination, the weaker her legs grew. No matter what happened, she would trust God—with her life, her
future—but she ached with unshed tears as she tried to prepare herself for bad news.
They reached Doc’s door. Father pushed it open.
Anna stopped. She couldn’t step into the room. Couldn’t face the news.
Father smiled. “No one has brought a message saying otherwise so I assume he is still fighting to live. Let’s go see.”
She allowed him to draw her forward. They had to cross a small waiting room where two women sat. Anna was scarcely aware of them except that their murmurs of sympathy increased her tension.
God help me. Be my strength and comfort.