The Cowgirl Ropes a Billionaire (25 page)

Memories beset her, flashing images of the day she’d ruined her family’s lives.

Caramel racing after the ball and bringing it back to drop at her feet.

Hugging the dog and burying her face in her fur.

The commotion behind her, Caramel’s sudden barks.

Looking up. Seeing the hooves flailing above her.

Her father’s shout: “Bella!”

His body flashing between them. The stallion twisting away in fear.

Hooves flashing, the horse’s giant body falling. The sickening crack as its foreleg shattered.

Her own fear bitter in her mouth. Caramel twisting around their feet.

Her father’s hand upraised.

She blinked faster and picked up her pace some more, trying to leave those memories behind.

“Bella?”

Damn. She broke into a run, unable to control her tears any longer, the pain of her memories finally catching up to her. She’d vanquished that awful day from her mind for so many years, refusing to speak of it because nobody else in her family spoke of it.

“Bella, stop—where are you going?”

Bella ignored Nita’s call and dashed onward, unaware of her surroundings. She was back on the family’s ranch, back in the chaos of men running, the stallion falling, Caramel barking, her father watching his dream implode.

This time the voice was Evan’s. “Bella.” He caught up to her and pulled her to a stop. “What are you doing? Come back—ride the horse. It’s okay—you’re going to win fair and square, I can’t complain. Bella?” Lifting a hand to trace the tears running down her face, his expression changed from laughter to concern. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t…” She couldn’t breathe for tears, couldn’t dispel the images from her mind. The dust kicked up by the horse’s hooves, Cyclone’s scream as his foreleg shattered.

Her father’s face.

“I can’t ride…I can’t…”

And her brother wild with grief when he found her in the barn that night.

It’s all your fault
, he said.
Caramel’s dead. Cyclone’s dead. It’s all your fault.

“I can’t…” Bella sobbed, her breath coming in great gasps. She clung to Evan, felt his arms go around her.

She couldn’t save Caramel. She’d run and run but she’d been too late. She couldn’t save Cyclone; his broken leg was his death warrant, and the destruction of her father’s business. She couldn’t save herself, either. She’d as good as died that same day, at least in her father’s eyes. He’d never seen her again; she’d simply disappeared. No matter what she did, she couldn’t fix it.

And she’d spent a lifetime trying to fix it. She’d spent a lifetime trying to save something—anything—to make up for what she’d done. But no matter how hard she worked, no matter how much she learned, no matter how much she
earned
—she couldn’t bring Cyclone back to life. And everywhere she looked there were more animals—more suffering—more sickness—more neglect—animals abandoned, hiding, starving—animals
dying
…and she couldn’t save them, she couldn’t…

“Come on, Bella, you have to ride. You’re going to lose if you don’t.”

Lose.

She was going to lose everything. Just like her father did.

Another image flashed before her eyes.
Her father dashing between her and the stallion, protecting her from his wheeling hooves. Cyclone crashing to the ground, the sound of his foreleg shattering.

Her father’s dreams shattering.

Her father’s face as he watched everything he’d worked for slip away.

Raising his arm.

Bringing it down on Caramel’s back.

Her father hit Caramel. Caramel ran into the street.

Bella staggered, blindsided by the realization. All this time she’d blamed herself for Caramel’s death, because her father had blamed her. He barely talked to her since that day. Barely looked at her. Kept her awash in guilt and pain.

And it was all his fault. All his fault. Not hers. But he’d blamed her all this time.

Evan leaned in closer and dropped his voice. “Sweetie, it’s going to be okay no matter what. Even if you lose I’ll take care of you, I swear.”

Bella’s gaze snapped up to him. Her adversary. The man standing between her and the means to fix everything. Did he think she would fall for his scheme? Did he think he could manipulate her feelings and ruin her life, just like her father had? Were all men like this?

“You’re the one making me lose,” she said and shoved him. He stepped back, but recovered quickly and came at her again.

“What? Bella…”

“You tricked me! You’ve been tricking me all along!” Anger, thick and hot swirled up within her. It filled her until there was no room for sadness. No room for fear. If it wasn’t for her father’s manipulations she would have gotten over Caramel’s death and gone on to live a normal life. If it wasn’t for Evan’s sweet-talk, his kisses and caresses and pretense that he cared for her, she’d have won this contest long ago.

“Bella, listen to me…” He gripped her arm.

“No! It’s your fault! It’s all your fault!” He’d slept with her for heaven’s sake. Slept with her, and pulled out—just so he could win.

“Honey, it’s not like that.” He lifted a hand to touch her face and she stiffened with rage. He was calling her pet names? Now? Her clinic, her shelter, her chance to buy back her father’s land was all slipping through her fingers and he was pretending he still cared?

Rage boiled up within her, choking her throat, burning her lungs, setting her aflame.

She struck him with every ounce of her strength.

The slap of her palm against the flesh of his cheek brought the set to a standstill.

Evan lurched backward, stumbled, caught himself. “Shit.” He held a palm to his cheek.

Bella couldn’t move. Stunned, she went cold, then hot, then began to tremble all over. What had she done?

“You hit me.”

She’d hit him. She, who’d never hit anyone in her life, had slapped the man she loved.

She gazed at Evan, still rubbing his jaw, and knew it was true; she did love him. She’d fallen hard for the man in a record short time and now she’d ruined any chance she’d ever had to be with him.

Closing her eyes she bowed her head, wishing the ground would open and swallow her whole. Shame overwhelmed her. What kind of woman was she?

Her father’s daughter.

Rocked by the realization, she put out a hand to steady herself, found nothing there. She’d lashed out just as he had—out of fury, out of frustration.

Out of fear.

In a flash she saw that day through her father’s eyes. He was out of money, close to losing his business, losing his legacy. The horse’s death was the final straw. Evan was right; the stallion should have been insured. But her father must not have insured him. In an instant it was all gone; the stallion’s leg shattered, the chance to earn back his money vaporized, the chance to save his land lost for good.

Overwhelmed by his anger, he’d hit their pet, and Caramel—never treated like that before—had raced away to her death.

Evan turned back to face her and Bella ducked her head again, unwilling to meet his eye, not wanting to see the blame there.

Just like her father.
He never looked her in the eye again after Caramel’s death.

Now she knew why.

Not because he blamed her, but because he knew it was his fault. Everything was his fault.

He’d blamed himself.

Speechless with understanding, she forced herself to raise her head. She didn’t want to look at Evan—didn’t want to see the blame in his eyes—but she had to. This was where her father stumbled. He could have apologized. He could have admitted his guilt and allowed her to forgive him, but he’d been so afraid that she wouldn’t he never even gave her the chance.

She lifted her gaze to meet Evan’s. “I’m sorry.” The words were barely a whisper. “Shit. Evan, I’m sorry.”

Evan made a kind of choking sound and she stiffened, afraid she’d done more damage than she first thought. No wonder her father hadn’t been able to face her like this. Fear clogged her throat and twisted her guts—the fear that he’d never forgive her.

“I’m so sorry,” she said again, her eyes filling with tears for what she could have had with Evan. A relationship. A marriage.

A life together.

Evan’s shoulders heaved and he covered his face with his arm.

Oh my God!
He was crying! Bella reached toward him. Stopped. Pulled her hand back.

“Evan? Are you okay?”

His shoulders shook. Around them, the crew shifted uncomfortably. Paul switched his camera off. “I can’t film this, man. This isn’t right.”

“Dude, pull it together,” Chris said.

“Evan…?” Bella touched him uncertainly.

He dropped his arm and Bella flinched back.

He wasn’t crying.

He was laughing.

“You should have seen your face!” he said. “Oh, my God. Did you really think you hurt me?”

“I…I…”

“Bella. Sweetie.” He swiped his arm across his cheeks and pulled her into an embrace. “Honey, I hate to tell you this.” He kissed her hard on the mouth. “You hit like a girl.”

* * * * *

Evan could hardly breathe for fear this moment would end. He sat on one of the catering crew’s ice chests, his arm around Bella who was snuggled up against him. Fifteen minutes after the slap heard round the world, as the film crew had already dubbed the incident, and she was still shaking. He wondered if she’d ever forgive herself for losing control. He’d forgiven her the moment her hand hit his jaw.

He’d deserved it for one thing. He kept treating her as if she was inferior to him. He acted like her worries were nothing to his, and that if she’d just let him take care of everything—and win—he’d sort out her little problems in no time flat.

What an idiot.

The camera crew was getting antsy, but he’d demanded they give Bella a cup of coffee and a donut before they went on with the challenge. He still didn’t understand why she couldn’t ride, but it was obvious she was terrified to try.

He wondered if Madelyn knew that when she planned this challenge.

Probably.

One part of him wanted to pretend he was terrified, too. Maybe they could both just skip it—get zero points like they had at the bridges yesterday—but when he mentioned the idea to Bella, she just shook her head no.

“All right, campers, what’s the holdup?”

Evan winced as Madelyn’s grating voice cut through clearing like a buzz saw.

“Who’s up first?” the director demanded. “What’s with all the cuddling?”

“I’m first,” Evan said quickly. He wanted to give Bella some time to pull herself together. He got to his feet and paced to meet Madelyn, already missing the feel of Bella under his arm. He couldn’t wait until the show was over and they could be together without the constant scrutiny.

“Take your place. We’re well behind schedule. You have twenty minutes to complete the course,” Madelyn said. “Ready. Set. Go.”

Evan strode to the board that showed step by step how to saddle and prepare his horse to ride. He’d thought perhaps the show would have supplied a skittish steed that refused to stand still for the process, but Buttercup, as a crew member told him his mare was named, stood placidly while he yanked and tugged the saddle into place and fiddled with the reins. He relaxed a little. Even Bella shouldn’t feel frightened of this gentle mare.

He felt an inordinate pride when he got everything situated and tightened all the straps. He’d never even attempted to ride a horse before, let alone handle its gear. He placed a foot in one stirrup, reached up for a handhold on the pommel and pulled himself into place, if not gracefully, at least successfully.

A look told him Bella watched him with her full attention. She bit her lower lip, her body completely rigid.

Again he wondered if he should try to lose.

No. The only thing to do was play this fair and square. Despite what Bella was going through, he wanted a year with her and he wanted to retain control of Mortimer Innovations. He’d help save those animals of hers and help set her up with a new clinic in San Jose if she wanted one. He’d spend the next twelve months showing her just how much good a few billion dollars could do in the world. Together they could be a force for change—both for humans and animals. Uplifted by that idea, he urged Buttercup forward into an easy walk.

The horse approached each obstacle as if she’d been trained for weeks on the course, and Evan pushed aside the uncomfortable thought that maybe she had. The mare traversed a small wooden bridge, wove through a maze of waist-high hurdles, stepped delicately through a jumble of broken logs and rocks, navigated into and out of a man-made ditch, and finally executed a small jump with Evan clinging to her back for dear life. He knew he wouldn’t win any prizes for the elegance of his horsemanship, but he had made it through unscathed.

“Five points!” Madelyn called out. “A perfect score!”

Damn, couldn’t she even pretend she wasn’t playing favorites? Evan felt a blush creep up his neck as the camera crew shot looks at each other. Suddenly his elation at his accomplishment blew away like a morning fog before a noonday sun. Madelyn had made it easy on him. So how did she plan to make things difficult for Bella?