The Critic (3 page)

Read The Critic Online

Authors: Joanne Schwehm

We walked toward her car to go to a small diner we hung out at after shows. I preferred to skip hanging out with the cast. I’d had enough of watching castmates drink themselves under a table while they chose their bedmates for the night. I understood actors needed to unwind and come off of their “stage high,” but that wasn’t for me.

Once inside her cute Jetta, she asked again, “What gives? Why are you acting so depressed?”

I fiddled with the petals on the daisies. “He was here. Why? What the hell is with that man? Can’t he find someone else to ruin? I don’t understand why he hates me so much.” My voice cracked. I hated that a man I didn’t even know despised me.

“You totally lost me. Who are you talking about?” Gina’s tone was soft as she placed her hand on mine and glanced between me and the flowers.

I hadn’t realized I was actually picking off the petals. I laid them on the backseat before they were just yellow nubs. “Bentley ‘The Asshole’ Chambers, that’s who.”

“He was here? Dammit, I wish I knew what he looked like. I would’ve spied for you.” Gina knew about him from the reviews he’d written about me.

“Yeah, well, he’s probably about seventy years old with nose hair that touches his top lip.” My eyes caught hers, and we burst out laughing.

“Don’t forget his white hair, which I’m sure is combed over to cover his bald spot.” Gina started the car.

I giggled. “Yeah, or his pot belly hanging over his polyester pants.”

“And a small dick.” Gina winked.

My stomach rolled. “I don’t want to think about his dick, but thanks for that image. I need to scrub my eyes now.”

Our laughter continued as we headed down the road. We continued to bash Mr. Chambers’s appearance until we walked into the diner.

The hostess greeted us and walked us to our table. “I heard your show was wonderful, dear.”

“You did? Thank you, Sally. I hope so.” The smell of comfort food wafted through the small restaurant, making me feel at home and a bit more relaxed. Just knowing Sally had heard the play was good made me feel better too.

“Yes, I did, sugar. Some couples in here earlier said the show was hot. They were getting cozy in the booth over there.” She tilted her head to the left. “So was this a sexy show?” She touched the tip of her pencil to her tongue as she grabbed her pad out of her apron pocket.

“Well, it was written to be sexy. It’s about a couple who decides they are better off apart, but after being separated, they realize they still love each other. When they get back together . . . let’s just say they’re very happy about it.” I winked and gave her a shy smile.

“Hmm, well, sounds sexy to me. At my age, a kiss is as good as it gets without the assistance of a little blue pill.” She laughed. “Okay, what’ll it be, girls?” She tapped her pencil on her pad.

“I’ll have the apple pie and a coffee, please.” I handed her my menu.

“Make that two, and the show was very steamy.” Gina winked at Sally before she walked away. “So this Bentley guy. Do you really think he’s going to review the show?”

“Who the hell knows? He’s such a prick.” I let out a huff as my eyes landed on a stranger at the door. He was gorgeous, and I swore my panties dampened at the sight of him. I shifted in my seat, trying to relieve the pressure growing between my legs.

Mr. Hot as Sin and Sexy as Hell walked across the checkerboard floor to a burgundy vinyl booth. He slid his fine ass in, and Sally blushed as she handed him a menu. Sally could’ve been his grandmother, but I figured she’d favor the title “cougar” when it came to that fine specimen of a man. His worn leather jacket was open, revealing a navy shirt that was snug enough to outline each muscle in his torso. Shit, he was sexy as fuck and vaguely familiar. Maybe he was a model from the city or an actor I’d seen in a show?

He peered over his menu, and our eyes locked. I watched his deep blues widen. He appeared rattled.

“Andi? Did you hear me?”

I looked back at Gina’s. “I’m sorry, what?” I noticed my coffee in front of me and took a quick sip. I made a face at the bitterness before doctoring it with sweetener and cream.

Gina started laughing. “Who were you looking at?” She glanced over her shoulder. “Holy shit! Who is that, and can I order one to go? He’s an orgasm walking!” She turned back to me. “My God, he’s beautiful.” She let out a sigh. “Is it wrong that I want to run my fingers through his hair? I bet it’s soft.” She giggled.

I glared at her. “Shhh, he’ll hear you!” My eyes had a mind of their own. They seemed to just stare at him. “Man, he is just . . . wow.”

We both snickered when Sally appeared at our table with our food. “He’s not on the menu tonight, girls.” She grabbed the pencil from behind her ear and straightened her pink uniform. “I need to go get his order. Enjoy your dessert.” She walked away with a tad more sway to her hips than normal.

“Okay, so new topic. Your co-star is a major hottie. How’re his lips?” Gina took a forkful of her pie and waggled her brows at me.

“His lips are nice. I don’t know. I’ve kissed him so many times that it just seems friendly.” I shrugged. “Ya know, like kissing a really close buddy.”

Gina shook her head and sipped her coffee. “No, I don’t know. Let’s remember you’re talking to me. I haven’t kissed anyone since Derek left for California.”

“You haven’t kissed anyone in eight months? Oh my God!” I sucked my lips in between my teeth, realizing I’d said that louder than I should have. “Sorry.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Gina shook her head. “Announce it to everyone here. Maybe that hot guy will take pity on me and do me on the table.”

As her hands rubbed the top of the table, an odd sense of ownership consumed me. All I could think of was,
I saw him first, so I have dibs.

“Andi? Did you hear what I said?”

I looked up, and he was gone. My gaze darted around the diner, but he wasn’t anywhere. For some reason, I felt disappointed. “You don’t have to worry about that, because he left.”

“Are you okay? I know you’re worried about how the show went, but trust me, it was awesome. Truly.” Gina beamed.

I tried to suppress a yawn, but it didn’t work very well. The adrenaline coursing through my veins was gone, leaving me drained. “Let’s get going. I can’t wait to wake up and see what the asshole wrote about me.” My words were sarcastic, but in some masochistic way, I meant them.

“Maybe he wasn’t there, or he could’ve liked it. It was hot, and I still want to meet Justin. He does play for our team, right?” She snickered, and I shook my head.

I tossed a twenty-dollar bill on the table. “Yes, he does. He has a girlfriend, and no offense, he’s rather young.”

“Hmm . . . well, Seth isn’t too bad either.” She wiped her hands on her napkin and placed it on the table.

Seth was quite a catch in my opinion. Gina had always liked him, but he and I were such close friends that she’d never wanted to pursue him.

After waving to Sally, we slid out of our booth. The ride home was quiet. I couldn’t wait to get in bed and say a prayer that Mr. Chambers hadn’t been at tonight’s performance.

 

 

Knowing my words would destroy her gutted me. Seeing her in that diner was the last thing I’d expected. When her eyes met mine, I knew I couldn’t stay. How would she react to my review? I was just doing my job, but that meant putting in writing that she wasn’t good at hers. It wasn’t even that she hadn’t been good—she had been—just not as good as she could’ve been. Hopefully, she’d take it as constructive criticism and strive to do better. It had just been a preview performance, so in essence, my review could help her.
Yeah, I’ll go with that.

When the waitress came to take my order, I made a lame excuse about why I had to leave. I hurried outside, fighting the urge to go meet the woman who had haunted my dreams for years. Instead, I hailed a cab, grabbed my cell phone from my backpack, and called my brother.

He answered after just one ring. “Hey, bro, what’s up? Everything okay?” Brett’s voice was muffled by the sound of people in the background.

“Hey, man, are you still at work?”

“Yeah, I need to get out of here though. It’s not my night to close, but the ladies are in rare form.” He let out a chuckle, making me smile.

Brett was a ladies’ man, and he co-owned the hottest club in the city. He still worked as a bartender, so he never had a lack of pretty women tossing themselves at him. He had enough issues with women though, and I prayed he didn’t add more to his plate—or bed. His last conquest was claiming to be pregnant with his child, so to say Brett’s been on edge would be an understatement. I should be the one making him feel better, but right now, I didn’t know how.

“You’re still coming here this week, right?” I knew my voice wouldn’t reassure him that everything was okay, but I didn’t want him to worry either.

“I can get there early in the day, so we can go to lunch. Unless you need me sooner? I can talk to Alex and take time off.” He sounded concerned.

The thought of him hopping on a train ran through my mind. But it was late. He should sleep for a change. We both kept shitty hours, and getting together at night never worked out.

“No, I don’t want you to do that. It can wait.” I was the big brother, and I needed to handle this on my own.

“Hold on.” I heard movement and Brett greeting people, then it went quiet. “Okay, what’s the deal? I’m in the office now, so talk.”

I knew he wouldn’t let it lie. I took a deep breath. “Remember a few years ago, I told you about an actress that I couldn’t get out of my head?” My chest constricted just thinking about her and the day I told Brett I’d fallen for a stranger.

“The one you had awesome sex with?” Brett let out a boisterous laugh.

“No, I’ve never had sex with Andrea.” Just the thought of that made my heart palpitate.

“Andrea?”

From the confusion in his voice, I knew he didn’t have a clue whom I was referring to. “Yeah, my first review I ever did. Andrea Jordan was the actress—”

“Oh, yeah! I remember that. You told me you had to take a cold shower after just looking at her picture.”

Brett’s deep chuckle made me want to hang up, but I had said that. I’d wanted to jerk off to her picture many times, but I kept that to myself. “Well, I went to another one of her shows tonight.”

The cab pulled up to my hotel. I swiped my card to pay the fare and left without a word to the driver.

“Really? Did you finally meet her?” Brett asked. “Wait, isn’t this, like, the third or fourth show of hers you’ve reviewed?”

“Fourth.”

“And . . . did you give her a glowing critique? One that would make her want to jump all over you with gratification?” The humor in Brett’s voice wasn’t helping my situation.

I walked into my hotel room and tossed the key on the side table. “No, I couldn’t do it.”

“You couldn’t review it, or you couldn’t write a positive review?”

“She just wasn’t good enough.” I let out a frustrated sigh as I grabbed a beer from the mini-fridge. “I mean, she’s a good actress, but I know she can do better.”

“So the review you wrote, was it harsh?” He exhaled. “You know, maybe that was her best. How do you know she can do better?”

“I just know she can. Don’t ask me how. I just do.” I took a swig of my brew. “She won’t like what I have to say, but it will be honest.”

“Oh, bro, you need to add some positivity to your criticisms, or this chick is going to come at you with a knife someday.” The humor in his voice turned to concern.

I slumped down on the recliner. “I won’t lie, Brett. I write it as I see it, and from what I saw tonight . . . well, let’s just say I hope her knife has a dull edge.”

Brett laughed, and I could picture him shaking his head. “Look, I gotta go, but if you need me, I’ll come there tonight.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll just see you later. Thanks for the talk.”

“No problem.”

Our call ended, and I felt worse than I had. I closed my eyes and remembered her kissing her co-star. I should’ve been consumed with jealousy, but instead I felt sorry for the boy. Maybe he didn’t do it for her, but an audience member shouldn’t be able to see that or feel it. If I had been kissing her, I wouldn’t have stopped until she moaned in delight. Yeah . . . Andrea Jordan would be putty in my hands.

 

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