The Crow King's Wife (15 page)

Neph watched her as she spoke and realized he
didn’t even know what to call her beyond mother. He had been too
young when she had disappeared to even know what her true name was.
A lump formed in his throat and he kept his expression carefully
neutral as he banished his emotions once more. It didn’t pay to get
emotionally attached to anything. That was a lesson that he didn’t
need to learn again. It had been painful enough the first time with
this woman, the loss of Zyi and then Jala had reinforced it
further.

She hesitated further at his silence and
nodded slowly. “And you have every reason to act the way you are. I
abandoned you, and there is nothing I can say that will make that
right.” There was glassiness to her eyes now and she rose
unsteadily from the chair to pace the room. “I suppose it would
probably be best for both of us if I moved on to the other reasons
I’m here. I don’t think you want to hear my reasons for what I did,
and I don’t think I can handle much more of that glare from you. I
see RenDelvayon in that expression on your face, and I never want
to think of him when I look at you.”

“Compare me with him again and you will see
my anger sooner than either of us expected.” Neph warned. He raised
his mug of beer once more and took what looked to be a casual sip
from it. In truth the action was done more to hide the expression
on his face. He was rapidly losing his fight for control. In
another place or situation he could be a cold as stone without a
hint of humanity, but this was too personal. This was a poorly
healed wound that had been with him longer than any other. He
wanted answers, but he was afraid to ask the questions.

She nodded again in understanding and folded
her hands nervously in front of her as she continued to pace the
small room. “Fortune sent me.” She began and lifted on delicate
hand to tug at the golden amulet. “Obviously I serve him.” She
continued as her hand dropped once more to her waist.

Everyone had their nervous habits, and
judging by her continued movement of her hands it wasn’t difficult
to see what hers was. He watched her closely as she moved about the
room, noting how her fingers continued to twine in knots. Yet there
was no sign of sweat on her pale face, usually when someone was as
nervous as she was, sweat was the first sign to show.

“Fortune knows what plan you are considering
and he sent me to ask you most urgently to wait.” Her words
faltered and she shook her head and frowned. Her eyes rose once
more to meet his and she shook her head quickly once more. “No,
that isn’t right.” She mumbled and cleared her throat. “He didn’t
send me. He stated that you needed to be warned, and I asked to be
allowed to come. I requested to be the one to speak with you, and
perhaps it would have been better had I not. His warning is dire.
Neph, please don’t allow my selfishness to cloud your judgment of
his words. Fortune is seeking to help you, and no matter how much
you may hate me I am delivering words of warning with your best
interest in mind.”

Her words were so scattered that Neph knew
she must be feeling just as tangled on the inside as he was.
You
are the only one in this entire place with compassion in your
heart
. Zyi’s words echoed through his mind and Neph felt
something shatter inside him. It was the wall he had been
struggling to build since his eyes had found her sitting in his
room. He let out a bitter sigh and rubbed his face as he leaned
back in the chair directing his gaze to the ceiling. “I don’t hate
you mother. I am confused, and hurt, and I’d prefer to see Death
himself right now rather than you, but I don’t hate you.” He
muttered sourly as he lowered his hand to the table with a heavy
thud. “So tell me why the Aspect of luck has such an interest in
Delvay, and then explain why my choice is a bad one and I will
listen with as open of a mind as I can manage.”

She paled at his words and stopped pacing.
Her mouth opened as if she was going to speak and then closed again
quickly. With a pained expression she nodded once and paced to the
other side of the room before she seemed to compose herself to
speak once more. “It isn’t exactly Delvay that holds his interest
Neph. It’s you he wants to protect. He has always tried to protect
you as much as he could. When Ren attacked you after you defied him
you were stabbed three times, and yet not one of those wounds was
mortal despite Ren’s skill with a blade. When you left Delvay you
were able to survive long enough to reach Rose in Sanctuary to be
healed, despite the tremendous blood loss you had suffered. In
every battle you have fought in you have barely been bruised or
scraped. Fortune has kept his hand over you your entire life. He
couldn’t protect you from everything, but he has tried to spare you
the worst.”

“Why? I’ve never been a loyal follower of
luck. I show him the respect he is due, but nothing more. I highly
doubt it is simply because my mother is such a loyal servant.” Neph
rose from his chair as he spoke and stared hard at her forcing her
to meet his eyes. He didn’t like the reaction she was showing to
his question. It should have been a simple one to answer and yet
she was acting as if he had just demanded her soul.

“Because it is the only thing he has ever
been able to do to protect his child without taking away your
future.” She answered quietly. “Had he been directly involved in
your life or spoken the truth, everyone would have known you were
not truly Ren’s son, and Ren would have killed you in return. The
secret of who you truly were was the only thing that kept you
safe.”

Neph stared at her in utter disbelief for a
long moment before sagging back into his chair once more. His
growing anger and suspicion had evaporated with her words and he
honestly didn’t know how to react to this newest revelation. He
stared blankly at the table for another few breaths, and probably
would have stayed like that for far longer if not for the sound of
her faint footsteps approaching. She took the seat across from him
and leaned toward him across the table with a pleading look in her
eyes. He could see the tears there still waiting to trace paths
down her pale cheeks, but for now she was managing to hold them at
bay.

“I don’t have the words to beg your
forgiveness Neph. The best I can offer is an explanation, and pray
that somehow you can understand. I didn’t have a choice in my
marriage to Ren, and my heart was Fortune’s long before I was sent
to Delvay. I gave him Kadan, and it was more than Ren ever
deserved. You and Zyi were the children of my heart, and I would
have done anything to protect you from Ren.” Her words faltered and
she turned away from him as the first tears wet her cheeks. “I
wasn’t strong enough to stand against him, and when Ren learned the
secret there was nothing I could do.” She admitted softly.

“So you ran away instead and left us both to
rot here with him!” Neph snapped. His fist slammed down on the
table hard enough to rattle the beer mug and he glowered at her.
“Where was Fortune’s luck when Zyi was hanging? Why didn’t the
loving father protect his child then? She died in my arms!” His
voice broke with the words and it took all of his will to resist
breaking something to vent his frustration. “You cheated on a man
like RenDelvayon and then left your bastards to suffer for your
sins.” He declared in a snarl that sounded more animal than
man.

“I didn’t run Neph.” She gasped and quickly
reached across the table to take his hand firmly in her own. Her
flesh was cold to the touch and she clung to him long enough for
him to realize there was no pulse left in her body. Slowly her
fingers unclenched and she waited until his anger had cooled to
shock once more before waving a delicate hand at the painting. “He
placed my ashes behind the painting. If you don’t believe me have a
look for yourself. I doubt Ren troubled himself to move the urn. As
I said, I wasn’t strong enough to stand against him, and I followed
the same path as Zyi on my choices. When Fortune presented me with
an opportunity to run, I ignored it, just as she did. I wouldn’t
leave you and Zyi behind, no matter what it cost me.”

Neph’s attention shifted from the painting
and then back to his mother as he slowly digested what she was
saying. Shaking his head slowly he gaped at her. “So you are what?
Some kind of ghost?” he asked in a faltering voice.

“Fortune took me from the Darklands and
spared me the Dark Lady’s penance. He gave me the choice of
returning to the Lifestream for my next life, or serving him. The
choice was an easy one. So I serve him and exist by his power
alone. I am here by his grace, most of the time I’m not quite so
substantial.” She explained quietly. “There was no way to come to
you sooner Neph or I would have. I couldn’t reveal myself with Ren
alive and with the world in such chaos…” her voice trailed off and
she carefully wiped the tears from her face.

“But you are crying. Can spirits even cry?”
Neph protested and his gaze moved once more to the painting on the
wall. Everything he had thought he had known about his mother had
been twisted in his mind. As a child he had been told that she had
run off, and then he had been told she was dead, and now he was
being informed it was both. A slow ache built in his chest and he
realized slowly that he would have rather she simply run from Ren
rather than die for her children. If she had run, there still would
have been hope that somehow things could be made right, but now,
well death was terribly final for just about everyone aside from
Jala.

“Spirits cannot, she can. I grant her as much
life as I can without actually stepping on the toes of my fellow
Aspects. I cannot give her true life and I will not surrender her
to death, so she exists as this for the time being.” Fortune said
from behind him and Neph shifted in his chair to face him at the
sound of his voice.

The Aspect was dressed in a fine black suit
in the latest fashion and his attention seemed to be fixated on a
dusty book at the top of the bookshelf. Neph hadn’t even bothered
to look at the books that were there and had no idea what the
Aspect was so interested in. He knew Ren hadn’t kept any books of
magic in his rooms, and those were what held Neph’s interest as far
as reading material went, aside from the occasional book of
poetry.

Fortune plucked the book from the shelf and
blew on the cover scattering dust through the air. Turning he
walked back to the table with a grim expression on his face. “Time
for a history lesson Neph. Too many secrets have been kept from you
and it’s time to shed some light on things.” He dropped the book to
the table with a heavy thud and frowned at the high backed chairs.
Rolling his eyes he pulled one closer to the table and sat down
gingerly in it. “I will never understand why Ren favored such
furnishings. Living in discomfort doesn’t make you a stronger, it
makes you bitchier.” He grumbled as he flipped the cover open and
scanned through several pages quickly.

Leaning to one side Neph glanced at the
heavily yellowed pages and frowned. From what he could tell it was
a genealogy book of the houses of Delvay. “I know the houses of
Delvay. I don’t need a lesson on my own people.” Neph informed him
dryly.

Fortune looked up at him with a raised
eyebrow and then returned his attention to the book wordlessly. He
scanned through several more pages and then nodded faintly to
himself before he removed his suit coat and sat back in the chair
further. Still silent he began to roll the sleeve of his silk shirt
up until well past his elbow. His eyes narrowed and slender ridges
rose in his skin forming a spiraling design with a shield near the
center. The flesh gradually darkened around the markings until they
stood out like a dark grey tattoo against his paler flesh. “Do you
know what this is Neph?” Fortune asked as he held up his arm for
Neph to get a better look at the marking.

Neph studied the sigil carefully before
shaking his head slowly. It was tempting to make a smart ass
comment, but Fortune was an Aspect, and due respect regardless of
the current situation.

“It’s the sigil of the Guardians.” Fortune
informed him quietly. The marks began to fade from his skin as he
lowered his arm and his attention turned back to the book before
him. “I was with them in the beginning. When the split came to
Delvay, before they fled the city. I was one of the first to join
the movement actually.” His hand slid slowly across the book in
front of him and sigils began to glow softly under his touch. The
air above the book shimmered and an image formed of a powerful
built man in badly scarred armor with two swords across his
back.

Neph stared at the image and then back to
Fortune with narrowed eyes. The Aspect had the same coloring as the
illusion of the man, with pale blond hair and blue eyes, but that
was where the similarities ended. Fortune was wiry and slender
where as the man in the book was tall and heavily muscled across
the chest and shoulders.

“Kadren Zengael.” Fortune said as he waved a
hand toward the image. His brow furrowed and he chewed his lip for
a moment before he continued. “Who I used to be, but I can see the
disbelief written clearly on your face so allow me to elaborate. I
was nearly the only one in my family to follow the Guardians path.
My younger sister did as well, but I often wonder if she didn’t
simply do it to follow in my footsteps. My brother and my mother
were staunch Extremists, were my father still alive when the
division came I have no doubts he would have been Extremist as
well. I might have been too, but the woman I loved was pure
Guardian. I believed in peace, but she was a fanatic about ending
all fighting no matter the cost. In the end she was the one that
devised the plan to stasis the heroes.” Fortune paused once more
and glanced up at Neph.