The Cruiserweight (40 page)

Patrick was in town to visit for a few days
before he flew to Texas to spend time with his own family for the
holidays. He scooped six-month-old Autumn from her playpen. “Look
at the pretty girl, all ready to go with Daddy and Papi Pat to see
Santa.”

“Don’t mess up her dress or get her dirty,”
Karen said. “I want to have nice pictures for everyone.”

“Hey, Pedro, you have the video camera out
there?” Brett called from the bedroom.

“Charged up and ready to go, Britney,” Patrick
answered. He tickled Autumn. “You have a silly daddy, don’t you?
The way he’s fooling around in there, you’d think
he
was the
one getting Santa pictures.”

“What’s with the ‘Pedro’ and ‘Britney’ stuff?”
Karen asked.

“Old private joke,” Patrick said. “Brett would
call me Pedro when he needed help carrying shit or something, and
I’d call him Britney when he’d be in one of his primping
moods.”

She shook her head. “I’ll never figure out you
two.”

“No one ever does,” Brett said when he came
into the living room. “Ready to go, Pat?”

“Anytime you are,
amigo.”

Brett took a laughing Autumn from him. “Then
let’s take our beautiful Little Bit on her first meeting with Old
Saint Nick.”

The door had just closed behind them when Karen
heard a thud. She turned around and found the Christmas tree
toppled on the floor and a startled cat peeking from under the
sofa.

“Jack,” she said in a scolding tone, “How many
times have Daddy and I told you the Christmas tree is not a kitty
toy? You’re lucky these ornaments are plastic.”

She set the tree upright and cleaned the mess
around it. “If you want to climb something, use the cat tree Brett
spent two hundred dollars to buy you. Sometimes, I think he has
more money than brains in that respect.”

Jack slinked from his spot under the sofa and
meowed at her.

“Cattitude may work with Brett, mister, but it
isn’t happening with me.”

He rubbed against Karen’s legs, mewing again.
She looked at the clock. “Never mind. I just realized Daddy forgot
to feed you before he and Pat left.” She picked up the cat. “Come
on, big boy, let’s go find something yummy for your
lunch.”

*****

“Do you think this was a good idea?” Patrick
asked when he and Brett stood in the long line, witnessing crying
children and frightened babies on Santa’s lap.

“Karen was the one who thought of it. Why do I
have the feeling Little Bit’s going to scream bloody murder the
moment I sit her on that guy?”

“Because every other baby we’ve seen has done
the same thing.”

“Better prepare for getting our eardrums
shattered, because you’re after those two boys.”

“Oh, God.” Brett gave Patrick a helpless
look.

“Don’t look at me; I have to get the video
ready.”

“Thanks, asshole.”

Once the twin boys were finished, Brett was
summoned to bring Autumn. Apprehensive about what she would do, he
was careful placing the baby on Santa’s lap.
Here we go. She’s
going to scream at any second
…

Brett and Patrick were surprised when Autumn
looked up to Santa with a wide grin when he spoke to her. She began
laughing and tried to grab his beard.

“Holy shit, Kerrigan. I think Autumn digs that
guy,” Patrick said, not missing a moment of filming. “I can’t wait
until Karen sees this.”

“You and I both. Little Bit laughing and
grinning were the last things I’d expected.”

The photographer took Autumn’s picture before
Santa talked to her for a few more minutes. As he lifted the baby
from his lap to return her to Brett, Autumn smiled again before she
let a loud belch.

A chorus of “Aww’s” and laughter came from
others waiting in line, and Patrick barely caught his breath from
his own hysterical laughter. “Oh, Karen’s going to have a field day
with this for sure!”

Brett looked at his daughter. “Sometimes, I
think you enjoy agonizing me with embarrassment as much as your
mother and Papi Pat do. For Mommy’s sake, let’s hope your pictures
turn out okay.”

*****

“How did everything go?” Karen asked when Brett
and Patrick returned from the mall with Autumn.

“
You won’t believe it until you see
the video,” Brett said, handing over the baby, who laughed and
patted Karen’s face. “Little Bit was a trouper. Not even a whimper
from the second I put her down.”

“Really? So much for your concern Autumn was
afraid of Santa.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t have memories from age
of six of your baby brother yelling his head off a nanosecond after
Ma put him on Santa’s lap.”

Patrick looked up from preparing his video.
“
Nick
was afraid of some guy dressed up in a Santa suit?
Damn, I figured it was you, Brett.”

“Who knows, maybe I was too. Can’t
remember.”

Karen gave Brett a knowing grin. “I bet your
mother does.”

“I think you’ve learned enough about me from
Ma, thanks.”

Patrick grinned at Karen. “You saw the baby
pictures?”

“Jesus Christ! Is there anyone who Ma
didn’t
show those things? I swear I’m going to confiscate
every damn one she has and set them on fire,” Brett
said.

“I liked your baby picture where you’re on her
bed with your bare ass in the air,” Patrick replied. “Even then,
you were destined to pose in a ‘women’s entertainment’
magazine.”

“Shut up.”

“Anyway,” Karen said, “let’s see what you guys
have on video.”

“Okay, but I’m not sure you’re going to dig the
ending. Don’t say Pat and I didn’t warn you.”

“What can a six-month-old do that’s so
bad?”

Patrick and Brett glanced at each other.
“You’ll find out soon enough…though a lot of people thought it was
more funny than bad,” Patrick said.

He started the video and they watched in
silence for several moments before Karen looked down at Autumn.
“Look at our good girl. You liked Santa, didn’t you?”

The baby smiled and reached for Karen’s
glasses. “No, ladybug. Mommy needs those to see.”

“Here it comes, right after I took Little Bit,”
Brett said.

Karen glared at him when Autumn burped on
screen. “Nice sound effects,” she said. “Very funny.”

“I swear, that’s
her,”
Brett said. “Even
if we wanted to dub in effects, neither of us have any idea how to
do it.”

“Rest assured, the belch you heard was from
that cute little champ on your lap,” Patrick said.

Karen glared. “My God, Brett, you’re turning
our daughter into a savage. I was hoping to raise her with a least
a
few
ladylike qualities.”

“She’s six months old. How much of a savage can
she already be? Not my fault she burped when I squeezed her too
hard.”

“Look at it this way,” Patrick said, “at least
Autumn didn’t load her diaper on Santa’s lap.”

“Good point.” Karen rose from the sofa. “Why
don’t you two order a pizza for us? I have a baby and cat to
feed.”

As if he’d been summoned, Jack darted into the
living room and gave Karen a hopeful look.

“Speaking of the cat, I have an idea to keep
Jack from knocking down your tree again,” Patrick said. “I’ll get
to work on it while Brett orders dinner.”

“Good idea,” Karen said with a nod. “Anything
that keeps me from picking up a tree and ornaments dozens of times
a day is welcome.”

CHAPTER 79

On Christmas Day, Karen was busy in the kitchen
when Phoebe and Eddie arrived with Brett‘s family. She hugged
Phoebe “I can’t believe you guys are here!”

“We can’t believe we’re here!” Phoebe replied.
“I never thought I’d see a Christmas without snow.”

“You need to get out more often.”

Phoebe dangled her fingers in front of Karen.
“Like my ring?”

“It’s gorgeous. Christmas present?”

“Birthday. Can you believe it? Your wedding is
less than a week away!”

“Don’t remind me. This whole month’s been
chaotic.”

“I can almost imagine. How had Autumn enjoyed
Christmas?”

“Seems to be having fun. I think she’ll
understand things a little more next year.”

Phoebe spied something flashing on Karen’s
wrist. “Oh, my God!” She grabbed Karen‘s arm. “Is that a tennis
bracelet?”

“Present from Brett to celebrate our first
Christmas together.”

“That has to be at least three
carats.”

“I know. I told him he didn’t need to go
overboard.”

“What did you get him?”

“New wrestling attire I designed and had made
for him.”

“Now you’re designing clothes? Is there
anything you
can’t
do?”

“No, it’s just a one-time idea I’d created for
his appearances at independent shows.”

“Hey!” Eddie called from the living room. “Are
we having dinner, or are you girls going to bullshit all
night?”

Brett came into the kitchen carrying Autumn.
“Pay no mind to the jungle beasts in there. I came to lend you
ladies a hand.”

“Aren’t you a sweetheart,” Phoebe said. “Karen,
where did you find such a fine man?”

“I’d like to think Fate had a hand in us
finding each other. Brett, would you do the honors of turkey
carving?”

“At your service, madam, as soon as I settle
Little Bit at the table. I’ll get Nick and Eddie off their lazy
asses to help with the wine and the rest of the food.”

“Hold on to him tight,” Phoebe said with a
smile. “He’s a keeper.”

*****

“Autumn’s settled in bed,” Pilar said a few
hours after dinner. “Poor baby; she had such a big day.”

“She’ll have an even bigger one next week when
Mommy and Daddy get married, Sharon replied. “Are you excited,
Karen?”

Karen nodded. “Among other things. I need to
get my dress on Monday.”

“Oooh, let me and Sharon go with you!” Phoebe
said. “I’ll drive!”

“Why not? I could use the company. Would you
come along, Pilar?”

Brett’s mother, delighted to be included,
smiled. “I would love to.”

Eddie turned to the other men. “I’ll never
understand why women travel in packs to do one simple
errand.”

“Same reason they go to the john together when
we’re all out,” Nick replied. “To talk about us dudes.”

“How do you know? You been in the women’s
bathroom or something?”

“Well, he was The Possum Queen once,” Brett
said with a grin.

“Oh, you’re so fucking funny, aren’t you?” Nick
asked.

“Language,” Brett said. “There’s ladies
present.”

“I’m glad one of you boys was paying attention
while I raised you,” Pilar replied.

“Who’s ready for dessert?” Brett asked,
changing the subject.

Sharon gave her older brother a surprised look.
“Freaking hell, Brett, we just had dinner three hours
ago.”

“And?”

“Surely you can’t be hungry again.”

“I think Autumn’s eating habits rubbed off on
her daddy,” Eddie said.

“No, Brett was a vacuum cleaner with teeth long
before she came along,” Sharon replied, “with Nick in close second
place.”

Nick pouted. “Hey, leave me out of
this.”

“Eddie, get the movie ready,” Karen said.
“Pilar and I will set up coffee and dessert while Sharon makes some
popcorn.”

“I’ll get some sodas too,” Phoebe
said.

Eddie put his stocking feet on the coffee
table. “Now this is what I call a good Christmas.”

“Feet down,” Karen said before she went to the
kitchen. “When I said to make yourselves at home, I didn’t mean
literally.”

CHAPTER 80

The following day, things quieted down a little
at home, which gave Karen time to work on last-minute wedding
arrangements. She’d confirmed more orders, needed to make several
phone calls, and then go to the appointment for her final dress
fitting.

In the meantime, she sent Brett on other
errands. “You can stop at the hotel to pick up Eddie and Nick to
help if you’d like.”

“Yeah, but today? Every nut case and their
relatives will be out doing exchanges and shit.”

“I know, but we can’t put things off much
longer. The wedding’s in less than a week.”

He groaned.

Karen handed him a list. “These shouldn’t take
long.”

“At least I’ll have company to share in my
agony.”