Read The Damned Utd Online

Authors: David Peace

The Damned Utd (8 page)

‘But I’m not drinking, Boss –’

I put the champagne glass back in his hand and tell him, ‘You fucking are now.’

* * *


Dave,’ Peter says to Mackay, ‘the
gaffer’s
got a wee bit of a shock for you
.’

Mackay is sat in your office with his accountant and his solicitor

The signed contract is in your drawer. The pen back in his pocket

There is a smile on your face. A smile on his face

£250
a week, plus promotion bonuses

Dave Mackay is on
£16
,000 a year

More than George Best and Denis Law. More than Bobby Moore

You have the most expensive player in the entire Football League

Now you’re going to turn him into the best
.

Peter locks the door. Takes the phone off the hook

Dave Mackay stops smiling. Dave Mackay asks, ‘What kind of shock?


He wants you to play a different role here,’ says Peter
.


What kind of role?


The boss wants to play you as a sweeper
.’

Dave Mackay looks across the desk at you. Dave says, ‘I can’t do it
.’


Listen to me. We’ve got this young lad here called Roy McFarland,’ you tell
him. ‘He’s the best centre-half in the league. He’s that quick that your pace won’t
be needed. So I want you to drop off him. Then you’ll be able to see everything
–’


Use your loaf and your tongue,’ says Pete. ‘Let the young lads do the running
.’


They need a captain; someone with experience; someone to tell them when
to hold it and when to pass it. That’s you, Dave
.’

Dave Mackay is full of doubts. Fears. Dave Mackay is shaking his head
.


You’ll control the game,’ you tell him. ‘We’ll win the league. We promise you
.’


Look,’ he says, ‘I cover every blade of grass
.’


You’re a stone overweight,’ you tell him. ‘And a year older than me
.’


Every blade of grass,’ says Dave Mackay again. ‘That’s my game
.’


That was then,’ you tell him. ‘This is now
.’

* * *

‘Apart from Leeds United,’ Duncan McKenzie is telling the press in the Victoria Hotel, ‘I also spoke to Spurs and Birmingham City. But when Mr Clough here, whom I had not met before, when he came to see me, I was very flattered and so naturally I chose Leeds United. I think the move will also improve my chances of playing for England.’

‘What do you feel about Leeds paying
£
250,000 for you?’

‘It’s a rather inflated market in football these days and you just have to live with these high fees. But it’s not a problem for me.’

‘What do you feel about your rivals for a first-team place? The likes of Allan Clarke, Mick Jones and Joe Jordan?’

‘I know I will have to fight hard for my place at Leeds United. I do not expect anything gift-wrapped or on a plate for me. I never have.’

‘Brian?’ they ask me. ‘Anything you want to add?’

‘Duncan is a superb acquisition to the Leeds squad. He is a highly intelligent young man and among the things that have appealed to me about him were his approach to the game and his desire to score goals. I am delighted that he has joined Leeds but, of course, I have known about him for some time. After all, I lived next door to him, as it were, when I was manager at Derby.’

‘Were there any problems?’ they ask. ‘Any problems signing him?’

‘None,’ I tell them. ‘Because when anyone gets the chance to join Leeds United and Brian Clough there are never any problems.’

‘Will he be in the squad for the Villa game tomorrow night?’

‘I doubt that,’ I tell them. ‘He’ll meet the rest of the players tomorrow morning.’

‘Duncan?’ they ask again. ‘How do you feel about meeting the rest of the team and joining the League Champions? Are you nervous?’

‘They have proved themselves to be Britain’s top side for the last five or six years.’

I give him a nudge to his ribs. A wink and tell him, ‘Apart from when I was at Derby County, that is.’

Duncan blinks. Duncan smiles. Duncan says, ‘Apart from Derby County, yes.’

The press take their notes. The press take their photos –

The press finish their drinks and I order some more –

I look at my watch. It’s not there –

‘What time is it, lad?’ I ask McKenzie.

‘Half past eight, Boss,’ he says.

‘Fucking hell,’ I tell him and the bar of the Victoria Hotel. ‘The meal!’

‘What meal, Boss?’ asks McKenzie.

‘None of your bloody business,’ I tell him. ‘You get yourself off home to bed. I’ll see you at half eight tomorrow morning at Elland Road. And Duncan?’

‘Yes, Boss?’

‘You’d better not be fucking late.’

* * *

You take Dave Mackay on a tour of the Baseball Ground. The dressing rooms
and the training pitch, off the ring road, with its old railway carriage where the
players change for the practice matches. Dave Mackay is thinking about White
Hart Lane, about the china cups and the china plates, about the cups he’s won
and the medals he owns

Dave Mackay is full of doubts again. Fears. Dave is shaking his head again


You’ll win the league?’ he asks. ‘You promise me, do you?


Cross our hearts,’ you tell him. ‘Cross our hearts
.’

* * *

‘You’re fucking well late,’ hisses Sam Bolton as I take my seat at the table. The top table. The Harewood Rooms. The Queen’s Hotel –

The directors, the players, the coaching staff, the office staff, even the bleeding tea ladies; the entire Leeds United family and their wives and their husbands on their Big Night Out.

‘I’ve lost my watch,’ I tell him. ‘Or someone’s nicked it.’

‘Food’s finished,’ says Sam Bolton. ‘Folk are just waiting for you.’

I stand up. I straighten the cuffs of my shirt and I tell them, ‘I feel like a bloody intruder at a party you have all worked for over the past year. It is a great pity that Don Revie and Les Cocker are not here to enjoy it because they are the men who won the Championship with
you. Not me. But it will be my turn next year. Mark my words.’

I sit back down. I light another fag. I pour myself another drink –

I listen for the sound of a pin drop, drop, dropping.

You have bought Dave Mackay to be your sweeper. You have bought Pete’s old
mate Les Green from the Southern League to be your keeper. You know that
this time the final pieces are in their places. You know that this time the traditional
pre-season optimism is well-founded, built on bloody rock, rock, rock

Rock, rock, rocks like Dave Mackay and Les Green
.

You can’t wait for the first game of the new season, can’t fucking wait

Away at Blackburn Rovers. Roy McFarland scores. But so do they

You draw 1–1. One point. Away from home. Not bad
.

Back at home you play Blackpool. John O’Hare scores. But so do they

You draw 1–1 again. One point again. But at home. Not good
.

You go to
Bramall
Lane. To Sheffield United. You don’t score. But they do

You lose 2–0. No points. Bad, bad, bad; you are eighteenth in Division Two.
Eighteenth again and on sinking shifting, fucking sand, sand, sands

There are tears again and there are broken glasses. Then Peter puts out his
fag and Peter gets out his little black book and Peter says


I know just the player. Just the club
.’

* * *

Nothing is ever the way they say it is. Nothing is ever the way you want it to be. John Giles knocks on
his
door. John Giles sits down opposite my desk. He says nothing. He just sits. He just waits –

‘I’ve had Bill Nick on the phone this morning,’ I tell him.

The Irishman smiles, brushes the tops of his trouser legs and asks me, ‘You sure now you didn’t call him?’

‘Why would I do that?’

‘Because you want me gone,’ he smiles.

‘Why would I want you gone, John?’

‘Because you hate me,’ he smiles. ‘Can’t stand the sight of me.’

‘Look, what’s said is said,’ I tell him. ‘But the past is the past to me. Finished.’

‘That’d be very convenient for you,’ he says.

‘Look, I’ve told you before,’ I tell him again. ‘You have intelligence, skill, agility and the best passing ability in the game.’

‘But you’d still be glad to see the back of me, now wouldn’t you?’

‘Look,’ I tell him. ‘There are things I don’t like about your game and I’ve told you to your face what they are, but I’ve nothing against you as a person. I admire what you’ve done with Ireland and so does Bill Nicholson. That’s why he called.’

‘And so what did Mr Nicholson say?’

‘He said he’d like to talk to you about going to Spurs as assistant manager.’

‘Still playing as well?’

‘Yes.’

‘Nice to know someone thinks there’s life left yet in these old legs of mine.’

‘I’ve never said you’ve shot it,’ I tell him. ‘Never said that.’

‘It’s written all over your face, man.’

‘Are you interested in talking with Bill Nicholson or not?’

‘Of course I’m interested,’ he smiles. ‘Who wouldn’t be?’

‘How about this then?’ I tell him. ‘No need for you to travel with the team to Villa tonight. You stay up here and give Bill Nicholson a call. Have a chat with Bill and with your family. Arrange a time to go down and meet him, see the lay of the land.’

‘That’s very kind of you,’ he says. ‘But I’ll travel with you all the same tonight.’

* * *

You are in the dug-out at Leeds Road, Huddersfield. You are losing 2–0 again.
You will have taken just two points from a possible eight. You are filled with
doubts. Fucking racked with fear. But then something happens; something
bloody special happens

Your team are under pressure in their own six-yard area. The team look like
conceding a third. The ball comes to Mackay. Mackay puts his foot on the ball


Kick it! Shift it!’ shouts Jack Burkitt beside you. ‘Get fucking rid!


Shut up, Jack,’ says Peter. ‘This is what we bought him for. This is what
we want him to do. To put his foot on it. To pass it out. To lead and teach by
example
–’

Mackay plays the ball out and defence becomes attack

Defence becomes attack. Defence becomes attack


We’ll buy Carlin tomorrow,’ whispers Peter. ‘Then we’ll be on our way
.’

* * *

I get on the coach last and make Allan Clarke shift so I can sit next to Billy Bremner again. I try and make chit-chat. To break the ice. But Billy Bremner doesn’t give a fuck about President Nixon or George Best. He’s not interested in Frank Sinatra or Muhammad Ali. He doesn’t want to talk about the World Cup, about playing against Brazil. Doesn’t want to talk about his holidays. His family full stop. Bremner just looks out of the window and smokes the whole way down to Birmingham. Then, as the coach pulls into Villa Park, he turns to me and he says, ‘If you’re looking for a pal, Mr Clough, you can count me out.’

* * *

When you went to
Bramall
Lane last week, when you went to Sheffield
United and they beat you 2–0, you blamed it on Willie Carlin. You’ve had
enough of going to places like Sheffield bloody United and losing 2–0 because
of players like Willie fucking Carlin

You’ve had enough of failure. Doubts. Had enough of disappointment

Had enough of Willie fucking Carlin, hard little
Scouse
bastard

Dirty little bugger of a bloke, had enough, enough, enough


But you’ll do for me,’ you tell him. ‘If you do as you’re bloody told
.’


I’d rather play for fucking Leeds,’ he tells you
.


You’d fucking fit right in and all,’ you laugh. ‘But they don’t bloody want
you, do they, Willie?


They bloody might,’ he says. ‘You don’t fucking know that
.’


Well, I don’t see Don fucking Revie sat here, do you?


I don’t know what I see
.’


Well, I know what I see,’ you tell him. ‘I see a five-foot-four dirty little bastard
who spends half the fucking match arguing with the referee and who’s been
booked eighteen bloody times and sent off another three fucking times for his
trouble. Now that won’t do for me because you’re no good to me suspended.
But if you behave yourself and keep that great big bloody
Scouse
gob of yours
shut, I’ll get you a bloody Championship medal to go with all your fucking
bookings and
sendings
-
off
.’


And what if I can’t behave myself? What if I don’t fucking want to?


You will,’ you laugh. ‘Because I’m not asking you, I’m fucking telling you
.’

* * *

I’m down in the dug-out for this game. This testimonial. This centenary game at Villa Park. Jimmy and me with Stewart, Cherry and Johnny fucking Giles for company –

My one and only plan before the game to make sure Johnny bloody Giles doesn’t get a fucking kick, but then Madeley has to come off and so on goes John –

Thank fuck for Allan Clarke, two great goals; one with his head from a Reaney cross, the other sliding into a low centre from the Irishman. The rest of the match is the same old
dirty
Leeds; McQueen gets booked, then Cooper gives away a penalty – saved by Harvey – then Hunter gives away another, but the Villa lad misses. Half-time I tell Jimmy to take off Harvey and Hunter and stick on Stewart and Cherry while I go for a drink and a chat in the top of the stands with Jimmy Bloomfield, the Leicester manager –

We talk about Shilton, swaps and trades. We talk about money –

‘Not bad that one you’ve got,’ says Jimmy Bloomfield.

‘Harvey? You’re bloody joking?’ I ask him. ‘He’s fucking shit.’

‘He saved that penalty well enough.’

‘You can have him,’ I tell Jimmy. ‘If you like him so much, him and two hundred grand, and I’ll take Peter Shilton off your hands.’

‘He’ll get you the bloody sack, will Shilton,’ says Jimmy. ‘He’s trouble.’

‘Then he’s my kind of fucking trouble,’ I tell him.

Dirty
Leeds concede a goal but still win 2–1 –

Not a bad start; two games, two wins –

‘Not a bad bloody start at all,’ says Jimmy Bloomfield as we shake our hands and say our goodbyes and head down the stairs, round the corners and down the corridors.

* * *

There is always one game in every season, one moment in that game, that one
moment in that one game in the season when everything can change, when
things can either come together or fall apart for the rest of the season, that one
moment when you know you will win this game and then the next and the
next, when you know you will have a season to remember, a season never to
forget

The Football League Cup, third round replay; Wednesday 2 October 1968

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby

This is one of those nights you will never forget. This is one of those nights
when everything comes together and stays together, one of those nights when
everything changes, everything turns

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby

You went down to Stamford Bridge last week where Chelsea were unbeaten
in twenty home games. You went down to Stamford Bridge and you took
everything Chelsea could throw at you and you held them 0–0, held the likes
of Bonetti,
Hollins
and
Osgood

Now you’ve brought them back here, here to the Baseball Ground, here
where there’s no running track around the pitch, here where you hear every cheer
and every jeer from the 34,000 crowd, here where there’s no place to hide

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby


No fucking hiding place,’ you tell the Derby dressing room. ‘Not tonight;
tonight we’re going to see who’s fucking who out there
.’

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby

Green. Webster. Robson. Durban. McFarland. Mackay. Walker. Carlin.
O’Hare. Hinton. Hector

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby

That one moment when everything can change, when things either come
together or fall apart for the rest of the season, that one moment comes in the
twenty-sixth minute of the first half, comes when Houseman jumps a Carlin
tackle and slips the ball across to
Birchenall
, who shoots into the top corner of
the net from thirty yards out and puts you a goal down

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby

T
his is that one moment, that one moment when you look into the eyes of
the players out on that pitch, you look into their eyes and down into their
hearts and you listen to the noise of the crowd, the thundering noise of 34,000
hearts up in those stands and you listen for the eleven hearts out on that pitch,
and you hear those hearts beating as one, and you know that this is the
moment you have been waiting for, that one moment when everything changes,
when no one gives up, when no one goes home, when no one hides

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby

From the twenty-sixth minute to half-time, from half-time to the seventy
-
seventh minute, no one hides, no one goes home and no one gives up, not the
players and not the crowd, and then, in that seventy-seventh minute, Carlin
races through the middle and back-heels the ball for Mackay to hit home from
thirty yards out, and everyone knows, everyone knows now

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby

Everyone knows now that when Hutchinson breaks for Chelsea, then
Walker will be there for you, not once but twice, and that then Walker will burst
forward down the left and cross for Durban to head past Bonetti

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby

And everyone knows now that you haven’t finished yet, that when Bonetti
and Hector both go for the same ball that Hector will get there first to make it
3–1 in the eighty-first minute, because everyone knows now that everything
has changed, that everything has turned, everything has come together

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby

The things you’ve done and the things you’ve said; the fists you’ve raised
and the bruises you’ve kissed. Everything has finally come together and will
now stay together

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby

That this will be a season to remember, a season never to forget

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby


What a wonderful display by the team and how wonderful our supporters
were,’ says the chairman. ‘This is a night I shall remember as long as I live
.’

Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby. Derby


I was delighted for the players,’ you tell the press, the cameras and the whole
wide world. ‘This was easily the best performance since I have come to Derby
.’

* * *

I stand in the corridor at Villa Park. I finish my fag and I take a deep breath. Then I open the door to the visitors’ dressing room –

The place goes dead. The players looking at their sock tags; their vain bleeding sock tags with their numbers on; those bloody tags they throw to the home crowd after every game like Roman fucking gladiators or something. Then Norman Hunter pipes up, ‘Brilliant pass that, Gilesy. Beautiful ball for Clarkey. Put it on a plate for him. Lovely.’

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