The Darkest Minds (39 page)

How had he done that? Waltzed right through every single one of my natural defenses. And why was my brain suddenly alive and reaching out for whoever was closest, whoever was stupid enough to let me in?

I lifted my face from where I had buried it against Liam’s shoulder. When had I done that? When had we gotten outside—when had we walked all the way to the cabin?

Liam’s eyes tried to catch mine as I pulled away. My head ached, physically
ached
for him. It was too dangerous to stand so close to him.

“Not right now,” I whispered.

Liam’s brows drew together, and his lips parted with something he wanted to say. After a moment, he only nodded and turned back toward the cabin, bounding up the steps.

I needed to get as far away from them as I could, at least until the trilling inside of my head died down. There was no plan or map involved; I just set off down a nearby path. A few kids, all strangers, called after me in concern, but I ignored them, following the smell of mud and molding leaves until I found the lake we had passed.

The trees and brush had overgrown the path down to the T-shaped wooden dock, and where there weren’t plants in my way, there was a rope, along with a sign that warned
DO NOT ENTER
.

I slipped under it and kept heading down, not stopping until I sat on the edge of the old sun-bleached dock and put my head between my knees, listening to the sounds of kids laughing and yelling in the distance, wondering when the feeling would return to my legs long enough for me to stand, and when the imprint of Clancy Gray’s voice would fade.

Alone, I thought, lying down on the old wood. Finally alone.

Dinner was served at exactly seven that night. There was no intercom or alarm system in the camp, but there were cowbells. Apparently that was a universal call for food, because once the first bell rang, others echoed back, spreading the noise through the cabins and trails, all the way down to where I sat studying my reflection in the dark water.

It was easy enough to find the action—two hundred–odd kids gathered around a raging bonfire to eat wasn’t exactly subtle. My feet slowed the closer I came, watching as a few of the older boys threw more logs into the fire’s grasping fingers. Rings of old logs provided makeshift seats for those who already had their food and didn’t want to eat alone in their cabins.

The kids we had seen in the kitchen had set up a table full of what looked like slow cookers and were making runs between the office building and the fire to replenish them. Dozens of kids waited in line for their turn at the pots, their plastic bowls pressed against their chests in anticipation.

I spotted Liam straight off, standing rather than sitting on one of the logs. He had a bowl of chili in each hand and was scanning the area. Chubs would have walked right by him if Liam hadn’t nudged him as he passed. He asked Chubs something, but I caught only part of his response.

“Uh, no thanks. I read
Lord of the Flies
. I know how this works—everyone starts dancing around the fire and painting their faces and worshipping a decapitated pig head and then someone gets hit by a boulder and plummets to their death—and, surprise, it’s the fat kid in glasses.” Liam started laughing, but even I could see how uncomfortable Chubs looked. “I think I’m going to play it safe and go read—and, hey, there’s Ruby! You two can enjoy the degeneration of human decency without me.”

Liam whirled around so fast his footing slipped, and he came dangerously close to dropping both bowls on the bushy-haired girls sitting beside him.

“Have fun,” Chubs said as he hurried past me. I caught his sleeve and swung him back around.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

He shrugged, a sad smile curling the ends of his lips. “I’m just not up for it tonight, I guess.”

I knew the feeling. After it being just the four of us alone for so long, suddenly being around so many people, even if they were kids like us, was a little stressful. If he hadn’t liked it when one new person—me—had invaded his world, I could only imagine what this was doing to his nerves. “Well, if you change your mind, we’ll be here.”

Chubs patted my head fondly and continued up the dirt trail, back to our assigned cabin.

“What’s gotten into him?” Liam asked, offering me the steaming bowl of food.

“I think he’s just tired,” I said, and left it at that. “Where’s Zu?”

He nodded to the left, where, sure enough, Zu’s smiling face appeared at the center of a small group of boys and girls her age. When she saw me, she waved. I wondered how it was possible for her face to be so vibrant. The Asian girl sitting next to her nodded as Zu gestured to her, as if knowing her every thought without her having to whisper a word. When Zu reached over to knock back the hood of the girl’s “Virginia Is for Lovers” sweatshirt, she revealed a long, glossy black braid.

“Oh my God,” I said, making the connection instantly.

“What wrong?”

“That kid was in your camp,” I said. “I saw her in Zu’s nightmare. They got separated.”

“Really?” The dawning realization that spread across his face was adorable. “Guess that explains why they tackled one another to the ground earlier.”

I laughed. “They did?”

“Yeah, they were rolling around like puppies in the grass—hey, Zu!” She looked our way again. “Come here a sec. No, bring your friend—”

When the two girls were on their feet, I was surprised to see the other girl stood a good four inches above Zu’s head, though she looked like couldn’t have been more than a year older than her.

Zu took the girl’s hand and flounced over to us, grinning. She was back to wearing the hot pink dress.

“Hi there,” Liam said, holding out his hand to the girl. “My name is Liam, and this is—”

“I know who you are,” the girl interrupted. “Liam and Ruby.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Suzume told me all about you.”

“
Told you
—told you, or…”

“Of course she didn’t
tell
me,” the girl huffed, earning a sharp elbow to her side. She turned and said something to Zu in Japanese, who, in turn, shook her head and reached up to tug the girl’s braid.

“Okay, fine!” The tall girl turned back to us, flanked by the campfire. “I’m Hina. Suzume is my cousin.”

“Oh, wow!” I said, looking to Zu. “Are you serious? That’s amazing!”

She was bouncing on her toes, still smiling.

“And you were at Caledonia together,” Liam said, slowly. “Zu, why didn’t you mention it? We could have tried to track her down. Are you a Yellow, too?”

“I’m a Green,” Hina said, pointing to her full head of hair. “Duh.”

Zu gave us an apologetic shrug before tugging Hina away, back to the circle of younger kids who were engrossed in some kind of card game. Liam turned toward me with a look of pure amazement. “Did I just get sassed by a twelve-year-old?”

“I guess it runs in the family,” I said, spinning my spoon around my bowl. The chili was warm, with a wonderful kick. I don’t think I’d eaten anything other than the slop they’d served at Thurmond and junk food in almost seven years, and the fact that someone had put even the barest amount of effort into it…I had to go back and get seconds, thirds, until I physically could not stuff myself anymore.

Being so close to the fire with a belly full of delicious food was making me feel drowsy and safe. I slid down off the log so I was sitting on the ground, reclining against Liam’s legs.

“That reminds me.…” Liam said. “Would you believe Zu actually started jumping up and down and clapping when I told her she had to get up at seven to go do some good ol’-fashioned book learnin’ with the other Cubbies?”

“Cubbies?”

“Daily lessons. School.” He tapped my nose with the clean end of his spoon. “Stick around, Ruby Tuesday, and you’ll start picking up the cool-kid lingo, too.”

When we finished eating, Liam set both of our bowls in one of the many plastic tubs floating by. The Blue controlling the one closest to us was a skinny kid, who looked like he weighed about half of what his tub did. I blinked once, twice, wondering if I was imagining it. It was the first time I had ever seen kids use their abilities so…frivolously. It was a strange contrast to what was otherwise a picture of normalcy. At least, what I assumed normalcy looked like. A few kids strummed on guitars or used their log as a drum set. Most were talking quietly, or playing card games.

Liam slid down behind me, finding just enough room between my back and the old log. The shimmering air around the flames, combined with the delicious heat, made my muscles turn to mush. His hand came up to brush the stray strands of hair off the back of my neck. I leaned back until I was resting against his chest, nestled between his knees.

“You okay now, darlin’?” he whispered in my ear. I nodded, my fingers finding the bare skin of his forearms, tracing the muscles and overlying veins there. On a discovery mission, searching for something I hadn’t even realized I wanted until now. His skin was so soft, his hands warm and wide, knuckles bruised and torn with brittle scabs. I pressed my own hand on top of his, weaving our fingers together.

“I had to be alone for a little while, but I’m okay now.”

“All right,” he whispered. “But next time, don’t go where I can’t find you.”

I didn’t doze off so much as relax. It seemed like the longer I sat there, the quieter my head became, the more the aches and knots in my body worked themselves out, leaving me as soft as the dirt under us.

Eventually, someone brought out a decades-old boom box, and even the kids with guitars stopped playing in deference to the Beach Boys. I seemed to be the only one in the entire camp who didn’t dance, but it was fun to watch the others. Zu, in particular, as she twisted her hips and threw her arms in the air—at least until she ran up to us and began to tug on our arms. I managed to beg off, but Liam didn’t have nearly as much willpower.

They were both laughing when the track switched to “Barbara Ann,” twirling when “Fun, Fun, Fun” came on. I should have known something was up when they both turned to me wearing identical devious looks.

Liam held up a finger in my direction, beckoning me over to him. I laughed and shook my hands in front of me. “No!”

He grinned—his first real grin in days—and I felt something tug at my belly button. The sensation was warm, tingling, and familiar. Liam pretended he was hauling a line in, and Zu actually stopped her frolicking to act it out with him. Their faces were flushed and glowing with a sheen of sweat. With nothing but fine dust and mud between us, I slid right over to them—right into Liam’s outstretched hands.

“No fair,” I whined.

“Come on, Green,” he said. “You could use a good dance.”

Zu spun around us, waving her arms in time to “Wouldn’t It Be Nice.” I put my hand over Liam’s, letting him drop it over one of his shoulders. He took my other hand without asking, and held it lightly in his own. “Step up on my feet.”

I gave him what I hoped was an incredulous look.

“Trust me,” he said. “Come on, before our song is over.”

Against all my better judgment, I put my feet over his, waiting for him to wince at my weight. At least his bones felt sturdy under mine.

“A little closer, Green; I won’t bite.”

I leaned forward, close enough that my cheek was resting against his shoulder. Liam’s hand tightened around mine, and I found my other hand bunching the fabric of his shirt. And I was embarrassed because I was positive he could feel my heart hammering in my chest.

“No spinning,” I said. I wasn’t sure if my head or heart could take it. Up close, he was so warm, and so beautiful. I was already dizzy enough.

“No spinning,” he agreed.

When we began to move, it wasn’t really dancing—just some glorified swaying. Back and forth, nice and easy. For once, my brain was perfectly content to keep its hands to itself. My muscles moved slow, like honey. We were completely out of sync with the song, and then we weren’t even moving at all. My cheek rested on his shoulder. The hand on the small of my back slipped under my shirt and curled against the skin there.

When the bells rang again, this time signaling lights-out across the camp, there was an audible groan, loud enough to get Liam chuckling. I didn’t realize how tired I was until we separated.

“Bed time,” he called, waving Zu over. She stood, brushing herself off, signaling something to the group of kids she was leaving.

The fire popped and hissed, buckling under a steady stream of water from a nearby hose. The sound it made was like an animal having the life squeezed out of it. And when the light was finally gone, settling down into a pile of unimpressive embers spread out among the ash, there was nothing but a screen of smoke to separate me from where Clancy Gray sat on the other side of the pit, watching me with dark eyes.

TWENTY-TWO

T
HAT WAS SOMETHING
Clancy Gray liked to do, apparently—watch me.

Watch me while I sat out on the porch helping Zu lace her new tennis shoes before walking with her and Hina to the cabin serving as the classroom.

Watch me tease Chubs for being the first and only one to get bitten by a tick.