The Darkling Lord: Court of the Banished book 1 (Annwyn Series 4) (16 page)

Nothing she’d ever done had ever resulted in her feeling that good, or that tired. Even bringing down Shea and Eyra hadn’t felt that good. Her life in Annwyn when viewed from across the veil looked empty and hollow, exactly how she thought Greys and humans were when she was in Annwyn. Was it a trick of the veil? Or was this the reason her grandfather had shunned Annwyn for the mortal world? He’d seen the emptiness of Court and chosen a different life.

If she wasn’t working for Felan what would she do? Would she stay or leave Henry?

She knew the answer in a heartbeat. She’d stay. And not just because of the power Henry was gaining, or his ambition or any of the things she’d once admired in fairy men. But because she liked him. He had something that a fairy man would never reveal—a heart. He cared about his Greys, about Kaid and hopefully about her. She couldn’t put that into words though, so she leaned in and kissed him even though she knew exactly where his lips had been and the damage they could do.

She may not have a soul he could take, but she already knew that he’d left a mark on her heart. Something no one had ever managed to do, and he wasn’t even trying.

His fingers brushed her cheek then slid into her hair. “Is this the last kiss before you betray me and turn me in?” He whispered against her lips.

“I have to make the report.” She rested her forehead against his. She didn’t want to tell the Hunter anything, but she had no doubt that Weylin would once he knew. “For what it’s worth I think you did the right thing.”

He pulled her closer, drawing her onto his lap. “You’re not just saying that?”

“No, that’s the truth.” She was too involved and she cared too much. This had disaster written all over it and yet she couldn’t walk away. He was darkling and she didn’t care even though she should. She’d missed him last night, but it had been very late by the time she’d finished talking to Marlis.

Talking to her had revealed just how hard it was to be a darkling and to know that someone had to die so that he may live. It was a choice she couldn’t imagine making. Henry had a strength of will that out shone many a fairy man who’d never had to face a real challenge.

She looped her arms around his neck and let herself sink into the kiss. Her hips moved against his. This time she didn’t want him just to get close or to gain his trust. She wanted him, because of who he was and what he was doing, because he made her feel like more than a pawn in a game and because this might be the last chance she had with him if Annwyn decided he had crossed a line.

Felan would have to agree that Henry was doing good…overall. Maybe. She didn’t know. It didn’t matter what she did she lost, but betraying her King would be worse than betraying Henry.

His hands smoothed up her back, his palms rough against her skin. She closed her eyes, but couldn’t push away the thoughts.

“I can’t do this.” The words tumbled from her lips as she pulled away. She could no longer separate what she wanted from what she had to do. The clear lines that had once defined her life were erased. The goals that she’d once strived for were scattered and she didn’t know what she wanted, or needed.

He let her go. For a moment she expected laughter or condescension, that was what she’d get at Court for behaving like that, instead he just looked resigned.

“So this is it.”

“I can’t sleep with you and then make a report.”
Betray you.
Some spy she was. She deserved to fail when she couldn’t manage such a simple job.

“Why not, you’ve done it before.” He was watching and assessing her as if trying to work out what had changed. How could he know when she didn’t?

“Do you really want that?” Was he that desperate for affection?

He looked away. “I want you, without the games and schemes.”

“I can’t give you that.” She wished that she could.

He didn’t say anything and he didn’t look at her. She walked quietly from the room. She was sure that she’d left part of herself with him because she ached inside. A hollowness had formed that was all sharp edges.

Darklings were supposed to have no small magic, but Henry had done something to her. She was broken.

U
nable to stay
in the casino where she might accidentally run into Henry, Darah left the building and went for a walk. She walked until she found a deserted park—there were plenty of them. A pack of dogs was at the other end, but she wasn’t worried. Even if they sensed her they couldn’t see her. She’d dropped the glamor that made her visible. She didn’t want anyone seeing her misery.

She shouldn’t be feeling this way.

Never in her life had her emotions caused her such turmoil. Watching and reporting on Henry was a simple job. One that would get her the place on Felan’s Council. It was what she wanted. What she’d been working toward for years—a place of prominence at Court.

She typed the text to Dylis, pressed send and then waited.

This time she felt like a traitor. Her eyes burned and she had to blink away tears. She couldn’t even make this call while in his territory. Could she go back or should she leave without a backwards glance? That depended on what Dylis said. She should want to go home to Annwyn. That was where she belonged, where fairies belonged.

Yet it was the last place she wanted to be.

She didn’t know what she wanted any more.

Her thoughts tumbled around, but no clarity was found. Rolling one of Henry’s dice would’ve at least made the choice for her. When had she become that person? She’d always had a goal, and a plan to reach it. Until Henry she’d never wavered.

No that wasn’t true; she couldn’t even lie to herself. She still had a goal, and a plan. It was just that she no longer liked what was required of her. However, it was too late to back out now. If she refused to do more, not only would she lose her place on the Council, but someone else would watch Henry. Someone who didn’t know him like she did. Her first report had been spun to cast him in a good light and show the good he was doing, now she had to include what he’d done to make it happen.

Weren’t all fairies ruthless and determined?

He
was
fairy the same as any Grey. Annwyn may not run in his blood. But he was in hers.

The sun was starting to sink and the sky was turning pink when the phone rang. With dread balling in her stomach Darah answered.

The familiar voice of the Dylis filtered out of the speaker. “You have news?”

“I do.” She detailed Henry’s plans for the gardens, for rebuilding communities, and for investing in the city. She expanded on what she’d told Dylis before adding details and hinting that this is what Felan had been hoping fairies would do across the veil. Then she mentioned the Mayor and how he’d been trying to stop Henry. The attack, the death of the cop…and finally the confrontation with the Mayor.”

“Are you sure the Mayor is dead?”

“No.” But she had no doubt that Kaid would make sure it would happen. Henry had given the order and since Henry had Kaid’s bridle, Kaid had no choice but to obey or die trying. She hoped Kaid wasn’t dead. For all that he was strange, and ate the occasional human, he wasn’t evil. Like Henry he chose the scum that preyed on other humans—it was almost a community service they were performing.

Now she was defending them instead of scorning them.

If she looked in the mirror, would she even recognize herself?

Dylis was silent for a moment and Darah thought the connection had faded, then the Hunter spoke. “I think it’s time I talked to him.”

She’d known that would be the case. “Just talk?”

“He is a darkling with an army of Greys.”

“They aren’t fighting or causing trouble.” They weren’t behaving the way people in Annwyn expected Greys to behave—maybe that was part of the problem.

“Yet. He isn’t like us.”

But the Greys were. They had once been Court fairies. Marlis had been no different to Darah once. But if she said anymore in his defense the Hunter would start to suspect where her loyalties lay.

“What would you like me to do?” She managed to inject some enthusiasm into her voice even though she didn’t feel it. Would she ever feel anything good again? Right now it didn’t seem possible.

“Stay, keep an eye on things. They have accepted you. Let’s see what happens next.”

Darah heard the slyness in the words and shivered. “What are you going to do?”

But the line went dead. The Hunter didn’t owe her any answers. However once Darah was on the Council she’d make sure Henry was left alone. Yes. That was what she’d do. It was the best thing she could for Henry. Gain her place and then make sure he was allowed to continue.

I
t was
dusk when Henry called the bicycle cab driver who was fast becoming his personal driver. Marlis had decided to use what was left of her strength on being visible one last time.

The driver did a very good job of not looking horrified at her gaunt frame and sickly pallor. But it was also clear he thought her plague infected.

“My sister has cancer. She wanted to spend her last night under the stars not in hospital.” It was a lie, but the only one a human would understand. Humans aged, they didn’t waste away while still looking youthful. The white lie seemed to calm the man and he murmured sympathies and actually offered Marlis his hand to help her in.

She was, as always, gracious and smiling, but Henry could see the toll it was taking. She wouldn’t last the whole night. He wanted to run away and pretend that it wasn’t happening, but he knew he’d regret not being here more, maybe not at first but in a few years…or decades.

All the Greys around would face this moment. Not even a fairy could outrun death forever. Not even him.

When they reached the cluster of houses the driver stopped. He didn’t ask why here, maybe he thought that Marlis had lived here before getting sick. Henry helped her out, then realized she’d never make the short walk up the driveway and through the gate. He slung the bag with the wine and blanket over his shoulder and then picked her up.

“Shall I wait, sir?”

“No. Thank you.” He’d stay with her and then walk home.

He took her out the back, there were a few kids playing daring each other to touch the cows who were obviously still strange and wondrous beasts. “Are you sure you want to be here?”

“Yes.” She nodded.

He set her down and spread out the blanket before helping her sit. An adult came out to see why he was back. And Henry told the same lie, this time it didn’t come so easily. He had a hard time speaking past the swelling in his throat.

After that they were left alone. As night settled in the children went inside. The stars came out. Since the plagues there was less light pollution so they were clearer than they’d been in decades. He remembered gaslights and nights where the stars were like diamonds.

Marlis leaned against him. Without talking he opened the bottle of sparkling wine and poured her a glass. Her hand shook as she held it.

“What’s it like to face death every year, Henry? How do you do it?”

“I’ve never known any different.” He sighed. “It’s scary and exhilarating and I hate it. I hate what I have to do. I talk myself into it and I talk myself out of it. I try to justify my life and why I should live.” None of the seeds had sprouted yet. Was this small garden worth another year—how much work did he need to do to justify everything he had done?

“You deserve to live. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

With the Mayor removed, he should be feeling happier. Things would start moving, instead he felt as though he was losing and everything was sliding through his fingers. “She’s going to report me.”

“You knew she would.” She placed her hand on his leg, but there was nothing behind the gesture except the simple need to be touched. He covered her hand with his.

He’d suspected Darah from the moment she’d walked into his casino, but he’d been unable to resist her lure. She had her hooks in deep and he didn’t want to pull them out as that would hurt more.

After a while Marlis spoke again. “Do you love her?”

“No.” How could he when he knew what she was and what she’d do? But he knew he could. It would be easy to let himself believe that she would want someone like him. There was only one thing he could give her that she couldn’t get at Court, and she saw love as weakness.

Maybe Annwyn wouldn’t care in which case he was worrying about nothing. On the other hand…he shrugged off the morbid thought. He had other things to think about. Tomorrow was Peri’s birthday and he had to acquire a soul, a human, for her.

Tomorrow there would be no Marlis.

He wasn’t even sure he’d ever loved her. Loved what they had had. The time they’d spent together and the way she had joined his cause decades later. Maybe he wasn’t capable of love because he was part fairy. In which case he had nothing to offer Darah.

“Any regrets?” He sipped the sparkling wine. The night was quiet except for the hum of insects around them and the barking of dogs in the distance.

“Never have regrets, Henry. They are a waste of time. I won some games and I lost others, but I had fun either way. What more could I hope for?”

He didn’t know. If his life were to end on his next birthday he knew he wouldn’t be as calm as Marlis. There was still too much that he wanted to do. “Have you sat watch before?”

“I have in Annwyn and here. I have fought in the funeral games.” Her voice was barely audible now. More like a soft rustle of grass that he had to strain to hear. Her glass was almost empty.

“What do I do after?” He’d never watched the passing of a fairy. There must be a protocol or words to be said.

“Just let the ground take me. By dawn I will be gone. Part of your garden.” She smiled. “My last contribution.”

“You won’t be forgotten.” He’d never forget her. Some people were like that. They left an imprint that never quite faded.

Even if it hadn’t been love between them it had been more than sex and more than friendship. There had been a deeper understanding than any of that. A couple of heartbeats later he realized that she had stopped breathing.

He forced himself to take a breath and then another. That was it. No true goodbye, but then there never had been. Marlis was gone from his life…and this time she wouldn’t be back.

It was just him and the shell of what had been one of the smartest, bravest women he’d ever known. He wiped away the tears, but someone needed to mourn her. Annwyn had forgotten about her, humans didn’t know her. It didn’t seem right that he should just pack up and go home. So he laid her on the grass like she’d asked. He poured the rest of the wine onto the ground as some kind of offering.

In Annwyn she’d been a Court fairy. She’d have had funeral games. A battle to mark her passing. Here the best she had was him. He sniffed and sat back down. He’d be lucky if anyone noticed when he died.

As the night cooled he wrapped the blanket around himself. When he glanced at her, she was barely visible. A shadow that was melting into the night.

The gate creaked and a white dog with red tipped ears walked through, followed by a woman dressed in mortal clothes. A silver sword hung at her side.

“You are the darkling using the name of Henry Saint?” The fairy woman said. Her blond hair was almost white in the moonlight.

So it was done. Darah had made her report and Annwyn had sent the Hunter after him. He sighed, but stood and bowed to honor her presence. The dog sniffed and whined at Marlis’s body before lying it’s head on its paws. At least the dog knew how he felt.

“I am.” There was no point in denying the obvious.

“Will you come with me of your own accord?” Her hand rested on the pommel of her sword. Casual threat or a reminder of who he was talking to?

“Can I finish mourning?” He could fight and give Marlis the battle she deserved, but he doubted she’d approve as that would make things worse for him. How much worse could things get?

He didn’t really want that question answered.

And Peri. Who would help her? “I need to see my friends.”

She shook her head. “You are to leave with me and come to Annwyn.”

“A child will die.”

“You would save a darkling child, but kill a changeling in cold blood?”

“It wasn’t like that.” At least in the dark the Hunter wouldn’t see the red around his eyes. He had to pull himself together if he was going to go to Annwyn. “Let me say goodbye.”

“She’s gone. She no longer cares.”

“I care.” He turned; nothing remained of Marlis at all. He closed his eyes and drew in a breath. The air tore at his lungs. He slipped his cell phone out of his pocket and left it on the blanket. Kaid would work out what had happened.

And Darah? No doubt she was already safe and back in Annwyn. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to look at her without it feeling like she was running a knife over his throat. That quite possibly would’ve been kinder.

Henry took several deep breaths and walked toward the Hunter. He was taller than the Lady of the Hunt, but he’d never be faster than her hunting dogs. No, he wouldn’t run. He’d face Annwyn and the King as he’d done everything in his life. With a smile and a couple of dice in his pocket and prayer that when he cast the dice they’d fall in his favor.

Although perhaps this time his luck had run out.