The Darkness Within (2 page)

“That doesn’t mean anything. For all we know, you would’ve been next.”

“Yeah.” He didn’t sound the least bit convinced.

“Hey.” I took his face in both my hands this time. “I think I know a little something about dark magic and hurting people.” I still had nightmares about the monster Nora had turned me into.

Ethan’s hands were on my waist now, gently pulling me toward him. “No. That wasn’t your fault at all. That was all Nora’s doing. No one blames you, Sam.”

That didn’t make all the horrible things I’d done any easier to live with. I’d killed people. “It’s not as simple as that.”

“You don’t think you—?” He stopped, looking embarrassed for even bringing it up.

“It’s okay. You can say it.” It’s not like the thought hadn’t crossed my mind. It was totally possible that the electricity I felt during the spell was
me
creating that thing.
Me
hurting Dylan and Shannon. If any one of us fit the profile for a killer, it was me.

Ethan’s lips were on mine. His body pressed up against me so forcefully. He was trying to make me forget. Make me get lost in him. It almost always worked. Almost.

“Sam.” My name was like a sigh on his lips. I melted into him. My eyes shut, and my lips parted, inviting him in. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he lifted me off the ground. Kissing Ethan gave new meaning to being swept off my feet. It was heaven. Ethan was
my
heaven. And even with all that was going on in my head, I knew if we were together, we’d both be fine.

We stayed in the clearing in the woods for two hours, completely lost in each other, a tangle of limbs. I didn’t want to leave. Sure, we
lived alone in a cottage with no parental supervision, but this was somehow better. I didn’t even care that we were lying in dirt. Ethan’s arms were around me, and that was enough.

He kissed the top of my head and hugged me closer—although there wasn’t any space between us as it was. “It’s getting late.”

“Ten more minutes.” I traced my fingers along his stomach.

“We have school in the morning.”

“My pretend mom will be happy to write me a note.” The good thing about having a fake identity was that it made it easy to forge parent signatures.

“Do you ever miss your mom?”

I sat up a little, leaning on one elbow, and looked into Ethan’s eyes. “You know I do. I miss everyone. Mom, Dad, Jacob.”

“Me, too.” Ethan had run away for me. He’d brought me back from the grave and given up everything to create this life for us. I’d lost my family to the cancer that slowly ate away at my body. For me, it hadn’t been a choice to leave them. For Ethan, it had. He’d chosen me. That was a lot to live up to every day. But now that I was better—wasn’t a monster anymore—it was easier to make Ethan happy. To give him some sort of a normal life.

“Do you want to go back?” The words were almost too hard to say.

Ethan sat up, reaching one hand into my long, dark hair and cupping the back of my head. “Not even for a second. My life is here with you now, Sam. There’s nowhere I’d rather be. You have to know that. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

His face changed, shuddered. For a moment, I thought I’d imagined it, but then his eyes went cold. “Don’t say things like that anymore. Understand?” His voice was harsh, not at all normal.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I know you love me. I don’t doubt that for a second.”

He looked frozen in anger. I didn’t know what to do or say to snap him out of it.

“Ethan?” I pushed a strand of his dark, messy hair out of his face. “I love you.” Still nothing. I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his. This time he reacted. He pulled me close, kissing me hungrily. It felt…
off. But I kissed him anyway, hoping he’d ease up. Finally, he let go of me, and I leaned back so I could look into his eyes.

“Ready to go?” he asked, looking and sounding like himself again.

I nodded and let him help me to my feet. We held hands on the way to the car and the entire way back to the cottage. Ethan smiled at me as if nothing had happened. I smiled back, but I couldn’t help wondering if Ethan had a monster of his own lurking inside him.

2

“G
OOD
morning.” Ethan’s smiling face was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. We’d been living on our own for a month now, but I still loved waking up in Ethan’s arms. I felt safe here. Now that I didn’t have to worry about my body giving out on me or needing to feed off another person’s life energy, things were just about perfect. I could focus on Ethan without worrying about hurting him in my sleep.

“Morning.” I returned his smile and nuzzled against his chest.

“You have bed head.”

I jerked my head up and reached for my hair.

“No, don’t. It looks sexy.”

“Bed head? Really? You think that’s sexy?” Sexy was Ethan coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel. Sexy was the way his smile was just slightly crooked. Sexy was just plain Ethan.

“Well, it’s sexy on you.”

I tilted my head back and found his lips with mine. As I pulled away, I noticed the redness in his eyes. “Did you not sleep well?”

He shrugged. “I woke up a few times. No big deal.”

“What woke you?” I said a silent prayer that it wasn’t my snoring.

“I don’t know. Weird dreams or something like that. I can’t really remember.”

“You want to sleep in? We could skip first period.”

“And make you miss Mr. Ryan’s class? No way.”

Mr. Ryan was easily my favorite teacher, even though he had made me read
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
during my dark period. He was the most popular teacher in school, and not just because he was young and kind of hot—for a teacher. He actually made class fun, and he had a voice that didn’t put everyone to sleep.

“You’re right.” I flung the blankets off me. “If I’m not there, Shannon will drool all over him and make her social status go even further down the tubes.”

“Why’d she do that stupid spell anyway?” Ethan got out of bed and rifled through the dresser.

“Because taking the popularity spell off the student population left her virtually friendless.” I grabbed my outfit from the closet and draped it over my arm. Even though we were living together, I still wasn’t comfortable changing in front of Ethan. It seemed a little too grown-up. I mean, it wasn’t like we were married.

“Yeah, but I don’t understand why she couldn’t be happy being friends with the coven. Why did she have to go and mess with people’s memories to try to make them think they’d been friends with her for years?”

I paused in the doorway, staring at the jeans and sweater in my arms. “Not everyone makes friends as easily as you, Ethan.” When we came here, it took him all of two seconds to find a crowd to hang out with. That was just how it was with Ethan. People loved him. “Some of us have to try a little harder.”

He stepped toward me, brushing his fingers along my cheek. “Hey, you have plenty of friends. The gang in art and at lunch love you.”

“No, they love
you
. They talk to me because I’m with you.”

“That’s not true.”

“Ethan, I love you, but you’re not going to win this one. You’re going to have to accept that you are Mr. Popular. I’m fine with it, so there’s no reason for you not to be.”

“But—”

I put my finger up to his lips and smiled. “I’ll be in the shower.”

As I turned to go, he said, “Is that an invitation?”

I started singing a really cheesy but totally catchy song from some overplayed commercial and pretended I hadn’t heard him. The
thing about living together—the one thing I didn’t like—was that sometimes I felt like we were already married. I loved Ethan. I’d do anything for him. But in some ways, I missed the mystery that came with not always being together. I needed time to miss him, to crave his touch. That, and our stand-up shower barely fit one person.

We were in danger of being late, so I rushed through my shower and pulled my hair up into a messy bun. Even though I was moving as fast as humanly possible, Ethan had already dressed, eaten breakfast, and cooked me an egg sandwich by the time I was ready.

“Here you go. You’ll have to eat it in the car.”

I took the hot sandwich and grabbed my school bag. “Thank you.” I leaned in to kiss Ethan’s cheek, but he turned my face and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was soft, yet full of so much emotion I felt a little dizzy when he pulled away. “And thank you for that, too.”

He took my bag, flinging it over his shoulder along with his own book bag, and held my hand as we walked to the car. More than anything, I wanted to forget what had happened last night. I wanted to live in this moment where Ethan was as perfect as I’d always known him to be. But something was nagging me, making me question everything. It all felt a little too familiar. I knew what it was like to have a monster inside you, crawling to the surface. I had been powerless against the killer Nora had made me become. What if somehow Ethan was going through the same thing? What if he became what I had been, even though we’d broken the spell Nora had placed on us both? What if I lost him forever?

“You’re quiet this morning.” Ethan opened the car door for me and gently pulled our laced fingers to his mouth, kissing each of my fingertips. My heart leaped in my chest. The fact that after all this time together Ethan could still make me feel the flutter of first love was simply amazing.
He
was amazing.

“I was just thinking how much I’d rather stay here with you than go to school and learn a bunch of stuff I’ll never actually use in real life.”

He smiled and cocked his head to the side. “What would Mr. Ryan say if he heard you right now?”

I sighed. “That he’s disappointed I can’t see the value of a good education.”

“Not bad. That sounds exactly like something he’d say.” Ethan closed the door and walked around to the driver’s side. I’d gotten to know Mr. Ryan pretty well over the past month. While he was cool—for a teacher—he still gave the occasional “a mind is a terrible thing to waste” speech.

“So, Jackson told me he’s going to teach me how to make his famous omelet after school today.”

Ethan and I were still working at the diner to pay our bills. That was another thing about living on our own. We couldn’t lounge around or join sports teams after school like the rest of the student body. We had to work. At least Gloria and Jackson were awesome bosses. They treated us like we were their grandchildren—children, if you asked them. They didn’t like to admit their ages. They were the closest thing Ethan and I had to family here—other than the coven.

Ethan pulled into his parking spot and immediately rushed over to open my door. We didn’t even get to the front door of the school before Shannon and Dylan were at our sides.

“Morning,” Shannon said. She looked better, no signs of the attack last night.

“Everything okay today?” Dylan skeptically eyed Ethan, making my claws come out a little.

“It’s fine.” Ethan squeezed my hand, and I realized my nails were practically digging into his skin.

“Oh, sorry.” I loosened my grip.

He gave me a sympathetic smile and kissed the side of my head. Great. He was the one going through this…whatever it was…and he was more worried about me than himself.

“I wonder what Mr. Ryan will be wearing today.” Shannon sighed, her eyes glazed over in a dreamy stare.

Dylan scoffed. “You do realize he’s like thirty.”

“Whatever. I didn’t say I wanted to date him. He’s just nice to look at.” Shannon elbowed me, looking for confirmation.

I laughed. No way was I admitting to that in front of Ethan. Besides, I was still getting used to Shannon and me being friends. When we’d first met, she hated me. She even attacked me in the hallway at school. If we weren’t tied by the spell making us a coven,
we probably wouldn’t say two words to each other. At least not two
nice
words.

Dylan said good-bye and headed to his locker. I was expecting Shannon to do the same, but she followed Ethan and me to my locker instead. I widened my eyes at her, not wanting her to hover while Ethan and I said good-bye.

“Whatever. The hallway is filled with people.” Shannon turned around and faced the other way. “Happy now? Go ahead and slobber all over each other.”

Ethan ran his finger down the side of my face. “See you in sculpture.”

“What, no kiss?” I tugged on the front of his shirt. “Shannon turned around and everything,” I teased.

He leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. I expected the kiss to be quick—we were in the middle of a crowded hallway—but Ethan didn’t pull away. He deepened the kiss. I didn’t know what to do. I felt self-conscious, and the cheers from the guys around us only made it worse. But Ethan wasn’t backing off. “Ethan,” I managed to say, pushing lightly against his chest. Still, he wouldn’t let up. Finally, I turned my head slightly to the side. When he couldn’t find my mouth, he pulled away.

I stared at him and the dazed look in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I’ll see you next period.” He turned and walked away without another word, leaving me there with a clueless expression on my face.