The Dawn of Dae (Dae Portals Book 1) (14 page)

The dragon stood up on its hind legs, fanned its wings, and chirped, “But lying is unbecoming, Miss Daegberht.”

Great, my unexpected guests knew my name. “My bathroom?”

I was whining. I heard it in my voice, but I was powerless to stop the way my voice wavered. Tears burned in my eyes. If I couldn’t go into my bedroom because of unwanted guests, I at least wanted to take an undisturbed bath.

“Oh, yes indeed, Miss Daegberht. It would be rude to occupy your bathroom right after you have come home from work. Very discourteous of us.” The dragon stretched out its neck and shook itself like a dog. “Please do enjoy your bath, Miss. Do take your time, as it will be an hour or so before dinner is served, I’m afraid.”

It was rude to take over my bathroom but not my
bedroom
? I counted to ten, and when the urge to hit something didn’t fade, I counted to ten again.

I did so several more times before I could speak without snapping and snarling like a werewolf. “I see. Thank you.”

Maybe they were uninvited guests, but I would be polite.

It was much safer to have good manners when my guests could probably kill me without putting too much thought into it. For a long moment, I considered turning around and braving Baltimore after curfew. Could the city at night really be more dangerous than my apartment and its out-of-control, dae-spewing refrigerator?

I had my doubts, but instead of screaming my frustration like I wanted, I retreated to the relative safety of my bathroom.

Chapter Nine

With the help of the medications prescribed to treat my assortment of burns, I felt almost human by the time I finished soaking. I was tempted to stay in the cool water longer, but I had turned into a living prune, which aggravated my already raw skin. Hiding in the bathroom wasn’t going to make my problems go away. I was no closer to figuring out what to do about my uninvited guests, but I’d deal with the problem one way or another.

Maybe if I politely told them to get out, they’d listen.

Dressing in my smoky, soot-stained clothes didn’t thrill me, but I did it anyway. I wasn’t about to leave the bathroom wearing nothing more than a towel. Careful to avoid staring at my reddened face in the mirror, I gathered my composure, reminded myself violence didn’t solve all that many problems, and left the relative safety of my bathroom.

The vampiric tattoo artist was wrestling on the floor with the still very naked man with bat-like wings and his spade tail. The vampire was nice enough looking, but his competition, with a sheen of sweat on his dusky, nude skin, was worth staring at, so I did, my eyes wide.

Heaven and hell rolled around on my carpet, and my frustration was overwhelming as I wondered what I was missing—and weighed the risks of finding out. My face burned, and I spun around before I did something I’d regret—like get anywhere near two sweaty men with sinfully pretty bodies.

My life simply wasn’t fair.

“Really, you two are being quite rude to our hostess. Do put an end to that nonsense before you damage something—or embarrass her any further,” the dragon scolded, and from the sound of its voice, it was in the kitchen.

With the way my day was going, it was probably romping with my macaroni and cheese and the unicorn. There was only one good thing about my situation: neither Rob nor Kenneth were around to witness the insanity.

Kenneth would find some way to use it against me. Rob would probably try to push his absurd claim he owned me. Of the two, I wasn’t sure which one I wanted to avoid more. Kenneth brought a lot more problems with him, but he was a familiar, comfortable annoyance.

While Rob hadn’t actually done harm to me or put my livelihood at risk, when he showed up, things got dangerous. It was a miracle I still had my hair after my close brush with Claudia, and I had no idea what would have happened if Rob hadn’t decided to snap the neck of the pink-winged werewolf.

I decided both were trouble, and a smart woman avoided trouble whenever possible. Making Kenneth’s sort of trouble go away was simple enough, if I could pull it off. All I had to do was recover his money and find his drugs. Terry Moore was dead, but I could sniff out his past with a bit of work.

There was something calming about planning for the future and taking steps to protect myself. I drew a deep breath, held it until my lungs burned, and slowly let it out. Escaping Kenneth’s clutches was the first step to finding my place in the world.

The strange dae making themselves at home in my apartment were merely an inconvenience. I dealt with those all the time. That two of them were naked and attractive made no difference in the grand scheme of things.

Inconveniences were dealt with, filed away as bad memories, and ignored whenever possible.

“If you’re going to be guests in my apartment, please wear clothes,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. While my skin was still too tight and sore from so much exposure to heat, I no longer felt like an overcooked roast. If I saw the cops who had recommended the cream—and made sure I got it on the government’s dime—I would have to thank them.

The stuff really worked.

“Mommy!” While Colby’s vocabulary was limited, I had no trouble recognizing the laughter in its voice.

“Clothes, please,” I said, and I was quite proud of my even tone. I was torn between laughter and tears at the absurd ruins of my life. Why couldn’t I, for just a few minutes, be like a normal woman?

Lily could—and would—have joined both men on the floor without a second thought. I didn’t want to be jealous of her, but I couldn’t help it.

She could have anyone, and if the unblemished skin of my elbow was any indication, the only man I could touch without consequence thought I was a piece of property.

“Yes, please do put your clothes on, you inconsiderate louts. This is not
your
home. Go play with each other in private. I certainly do not wish to see you two like that. I apologize for them, Miss Daegberht. Youth these days. They simply do not know their manners, do they?”

“Not at all,” I agreed. Did I count as a youth to a dragon? It probably didn’t matter, since they had invaded
my
apartment. “Are you planning to return to your own homes tonight, or will I need to make sleeping arrangements for you?”

“Such a considerate hostess,” the dragon murmured. “Rest assured, Miss Daegberht, we will be returning to our domiciles anon.”

“Colby excepted,” I added. Forcing the consequences of my culinary disaster on someone else didn’t seem fair, and Colby made one damned good roommate.

“Of course, of course.” The dragon laughed, although I had no idea what it found funny. Was the idea I’d take responsibility for the odd little dae so amusing?

More likely than not, Colby didn’t need my help to get by. If its cleaning abilities were any indication of its life skills, my sentient macaroni and cheese would do well enough on its own.

I tried not to think too hard about how outclassed I was as a normal human. Things were difficult enough for me as it was.

“They’re in proper attire now, Miss Daegberht,” the dragon announced.

What classified as proper attire to the dae? I turned around, tense in case the dragon was leading me on.

Dae, apparently, favored suits. I never thought the tattoo artist would clean up so nice, but he did—and the winged one was even better dressed. It took every bit of my willpower to prevent myself from cursing at my misfortune.

“Very nice,” I said, meaning it. “Not to be rude, but what exactly are you?”

The way they both smiled triggered every last one of my internal alarms. Maybe I was inexperienced by necessity, but I recognized predators when I saw them, and I faced two of them. I clenched my teeth, narrowed my eyes, and stood my ground. “I know what you are, vampire,” I added.

The tattoo artist pouted. “Sullivan.”

“I am what you would refer to as an incubus, my dear,” the other replied, and he took a step towards me. “You’re lovely, you know.”

I arched a brow, took one good look at myself, and burst into laughter. “Trust me, I’ve seen my reflection in the mirror. If you want lovely, I can give you an address. You’ll have to fight her pimp for her, but hey, if you want lovely, she’s it.”

Lily would forgive me for the mess to have a chance at someone so gorgeous. She probably wasn’t human anymore, either, so an incubus probably wouldn’t worry her one bit.

“No eating our hostess,” the dragon chided.

“I wouldn’t!”

“On purpose,” the vampire muttered.

I sighed. “Do you have a name, Mr. Incubus?”

“Earl.”

I didn’t know many Earls, but none of them oozed sex appeal quite like the incubus did. Most of them came from the fringe, like me, and embraced their roles in life with enthusiasm. I doubted any of them had ever worn a suit in their life, nor would they care to. Whether the consequence of nature or nurture, they hadn’t been the type to try to break out of their birth rank.

The elite loved men like that: easy to control, easy to please, and hard workers.

“I’m not interested, but I’m still pleased to meet you, Earl,” I said, and the truthfulness of my declaration depressed me. I really wasn’t interested in a shortened lifespan, and some things weren’t worth the risk—including death by sex with a gorgeous man.

But damn, he was tempting. Incubus, indeed.

His eyes widened while everyone else laughed. Deciding I had won that round, I headed for the kitchen, slumped across the counter, and asked, “What’s for dinner?”

The dragon opened its mouth to reply, and the unicorn kicked it across my apartment. It squealed, smacked into the far wall, and slid to the carpet. “Don’t ask,” the unicorn said, then turned its attention to the pot on the stove, picked up the spoon in its mouth, and gave the contents a stir.

I worried, but kept my mouth shut.

Dinner looked like beef stew and tasted like beef stew.
 
What looked like beef stew and tasted like beef stew had to be beef stew, and that was that. My determination to cling to my ignorance was probably going to get my killed.

Of all of us, Colby ate the most. I had no idea where it packed it away or hid the evidence of its gluttony. There was no sign Colby had eaten anything at all. I wasn’t really surprised when the dragon gorged on enough food to feed me for a week.

Earl ate more like a bird, and Sullivan regarded the stew as though it would poison him if he touched it.

“You invited me over for a bite,” the vampire whined, prodding at the stew with his fork. “This was not what I had in mind.”

“Bite Earl,” I suggested. “Incubus like it rough, right?”

“You, Miss Daegberht, have a very pretty face but a very nasty mouth,” Earl muttered.

“I am merely feeling guilty I interrupted your entertainment earlier,” I replied, stifling a yawn. If dinner guests were going to be a trend with the dae around, I was going to have to invest in stools. While the unicorn and the dragon didn’t seem to care, Earl, Sullivan, and I stood around the counter in the kitchen.

I could have suggested we eat in the living room, but sitting down in such close quarters with two men seemed like a good way to earn a few extra rashes I really didn’t need. The one from shaking hands with Terry Moore were still around, although the burn medications did a good job of counteracting the reaction.

At least none of my guests seemed interested in invading my personal space.

“You’re quite the interesting individual, Miss Daegberht,” the dragon said. “When I was told about you, I simply had to see for myself if what I had heard was true. Fascinating.”

I frowned, wondering who was talking about me and why. “What, exactly, were you told?”

Opening its mouth, the dragon displayed all of its sharp, pointy teeth. “That you were absolutely, positively, and without a doubt, the most normal person left alive. To think there’d still be someone like you around.”

The undertone of scorn in its voice put me on edge. I scowled. If the dragon knew I broke out in hives whenever someone—except bloody, stupid Rob—touched me, he’d swallow his words. With luck, he’d choke on them. “I see.”

“Normal and completely unflappable,” Sullivan said, saluting me. “Ignore him. He likes to think himself so superior.”