The Day the World Went Loki (5 page)

It was at that moment that Greg dropped from the window and landed squarely on top of the woman. They tumbled to the ground in a tangle of limbs and chainmail. Greg was the first to crawl dazedly out of the mess.

Lewis grabbed his arm and hauled him to his feet. “Anything broken?” he demanded.

“No, I’m fine.”

“Good. Let’s get out of here.”

Lewis set off at a run, dragging Greg bemusedly behind him.

“Who is she?” Greg asked.

“A Valkyrie, I think. Never mind that right now. We have to get away.”

As they rushed out of the gate, he glanced back and saw the warrior woman rise to her feet. Instead of chasing them, she stuck two fingers in her mouth and let out a sharp whistle.

Her summons was answered by the weirdest thing they had yet seen on a day when the weirdness factor was already in the high nineties. It looked like
a modern sculpture of a horse made out of scrap metal with two motorcycle wheels instead of legs. It came racing round the corner of the house with a high-pitched whinny and a hiss of pistons. Its eyes glowed red and steam puffed from its flared metal nostrils.

“This doesn’t look good,” Greg observed, lengthening his stride so that Lewis no longer needed to pull him along.

Sprinting down Spottiswood Gardens, they looked back to see the Valkyrie rounding the corner on her metal steed.

Lewis followed Greg’s lead and raced down to Broomfaulds, where they ducked behind a stone tomb graven with images of knights and monsters. Yesterday it had been a bus shelter.

The Valkyrie came roaring past, too caught up in her own rage to notice them crouching there in the shadows. As she disappeared into the distance, the boys slumped against the tomb and gasped in relief.

“Now can you tell me who your girlfriend is?” Greg asked.

“I think she’s a Valkyrie. They were warrior maidens in Norse mythology. They gathered up the souls of dead warriors and took them to Valhalla where they’d feast for all eternity.”

“The feasting part sounds all right, but what does she want with us? We’re not dead yet.”

“I don’t know,” Lewis answered with a weary shake of the head. “This whole thing just gets worse and worse.”

Greg sensed the despair in his brother’s voice. He put his hand on Lewis’ shoulder. “The fountain in Kinburn Park,” he said confidently. “We’ll find the answer there. Trust me.”

Lewis was unconvinced, but too exhausted to argue. Besides, he had nothing better to offer.

Greg helped him to his feet and they shuffled off in the direction of the park, casting wary glances about them the whole way. At one point they saw a Valkyrie speeding down Canongate Road while they skulked behind a bush of spiky thorns with huge orange berries.

“She doesn’t give up easily, does she?” Greg said.

They entered the park and passed some fairies who were dancing on the grass. Lewis checked that Lindsay wasn’t amongst them. He hoped she wasn’t still cross with them.

Greg led the way with groundless confidence, having convinced himself that he was in control of the situation. The bowling lawn and putting green had been submerged by a lake, where large and unsettling shapes moved vaguely beneath the water. They gave this a wide berth and warily circled an adventure
playground filled with spikes, blades and iron balls. A few goblins were capering there without coming to any apparent harm.

The humble drinking fountain had been transformed into a circular pool, in the middle of which was a marble monument in the shape of a sea god, half man, half fish. He grasped a trident in his right hand and a stream of water gushed from his open mouth.

“Okay, so it’s a fountain,” said Lewis. “But how does that help us?”

“You know, you could be a bit more supportive,” Greg told him. “I’m starting to get into this stuff.”

“Suppose this is the Fount of All Knowledge then,” Lewis conceded. “What do you do with it?”

“It’s a fountain, you idiot. You toss a coin in.”

Greg reached into his pocket and pulled out a pound coin. He stared at it for a second then put it back and fished out a ten pence piece instead.

“If it doesn’t work, there’s no sense throwing money away,” he explained.

He flipped the coin into the air and watched it plop into the fountain. He stared fixedly at the spot where it had sunk. In spite of his doubts, Lewis found himself also watching expectantly.

For a while nothing happened. Then, just as Lewis was about to suggest they leave, the waters around the
fountain began to bubble.

They took a startled step backwards, but before they could get safely out of the way, a long, serpent shape, as thick as a tree trunk, shot straight up out of the bubbles. Three metres above their heads, a lizard-like face fixed them with a hostile gaze.

“You’re a long way from Loch Ness,” Greg gasped.

The creature spat something out then flopped back into the fountain, dashing water all over them and soaking their clothes. The coin came twirling out of the air and dropped at Greg’s feet with a tiny clink.

“Well, so much for that idea,” he said, pushing his wet hair back out of his face and retrieving the coin.

“Maybe if you weren’t such a cheapskate…” Lewis began.

He was silenced by the look on his brother’s face. Greg was staring in the direction of the playground and when he turned to look, Lewis saw the reason for his alarm.

The Valkyrie had burst out of the trees and was bearing down on them. She pulled back on the reins and halted her snorting mount only a few metres away from them. She glowered, the way you look at a bug just before you step on it.

“I don’t know who you are,” Greg told her bullishly, “but you’re getting to be a real pain in the neck.”

Lewis made a feeble effort to pull him back as the woman raised an imperious eyebrow. “I am Shona, chief of the Valkyries,” she declared grandly.

“Shona?” Lewis repeated. He peered at her. “Hang on, I recognise you. You’re Shona Gilhooley, the woman that runs the aerobics class Mum goes to on Tuesday night.”

The Valkyrie drew her sword. “You mock me at your peril, whelp! I know nothing of this
aerobics class
you speak of.”

“Look, we’re not going any place with you,” said Greg, “feasting or no feasting.”

“Cease your prattling, you witless fool,” said the Valkyrie, pointing the blade directly at him. “You cannot outrun my roadsteed. You will come with me now, either as my prisoners or as trophies.”

“Come with you where?” Lewis asked.

“My master demands your presence,” Shona Gilhooley answered, edging her mount closer. Its eyes narrowed and a thin sliver of steam drifted from its snout.

“Look, if Mr Hawkins sent you,” said Lewis, “tell him we’ll get back to school as soon as we can.”

“Right,” Greg agreed, “you can push off and leave us in peace.”

The Valkyrie laughed a rich, lingering laugh.

“She’s not talking about Mr Hawkins,” Greg surmised.

“Good guess,” Lewis agreed.

“Yonder come my sisters,” Shona announced.

The boys looked around and saw five more Valkyries closing in on them from different directions, all riding roadsteeds.

“You’ve got the wrong guys,” Greg said desperately. “You’re looking for Hansel and Gretel, or the Babes in the Wood, or the Brothers Grimm.”

“Enough!” the Valkyrie snapped. She leaned forward to take a swipe at Greg with her upraised blade, coaxing her mount forward as she did so.

At that precise moment Lindsay materialised in midair right in front of her. The roadsteed pulled up short and Lindsay reached out and yanked the Valkyrie’s helmet down over her eyes.

“Run!” she urged the brothers, swooping along behind them as they took to their heels.

They heard the engine roar of the other Valkyries revving their roadsteeds for the chase. The boys dashed into the trees, only pausing for breath once their pursuers were out of sight.

“Thanks, Lindsay,” Lewis said. “You’re a life saver.”

“Yes, thanks,” Greg mumbled.

“You weren’t very nice to me, Greg,” Lindsay said huffily, “but I still wasn’t about to let those Amazons get their hands on you.”

“Valkyries, actually,” said Lewis, pointing behind them through the trees to where two of the warrior women were riding in their direction.

“Look out!” Lindsay squeaked.

Another Valkyrie erupted from the greenery, scattering the three of them as her mount reared up, its eyes ablaze. Lindsay shot straight up in the air while the boys split off to the left, racing through the foliage for all they were worth.

Luckily the transformed park was thickly wooded, making it difficult for the Valkyries to manoeuvre their roadsteeds. The boys zigzagged right and left, crouching low to make themselves less visible.

All at once Lewis realised he had lost sight of Greg again. He groaned, frantically imagining what sort of a scrape his brother was going to get himself into this time. Something about what had happened to Greg at school was nagging at the back of his mind, like an itch he couldn’t reach to scratch.

Before he could give it any more thought, he heard someone hiss at him. Greg was scrunched down in the bushes to his right, waving him over.

He scurried to his brother’s side and squatted down next to him. “What happened to Lindsay?” he asked.

“Like it matters!” Greg snorted.

“She did save us just now,” Lewis reminded him
sharply.

Greg could see he was upset and spoke in a conciliatory tone. “I just meant she can always twinkle out of
trouble.”

Lewis harrumphed to show he was still irked with him.

“Never mind about that just now,” Greg said. “We need a place to hide and there it is.”

He pointed through the bushes at a long wooden building on the edge of the lake.

“It looks like a boathouse,” said Lewis.

“It’s only a quick dash away,” said Greg. “We can hole up there till things quieten down.”

“It sounds good to me.”

“Right, when I go, you stick with me,” Greg instructed.

He craned his neck for a cautious look around. They could hear the roar of the roadsteeds’ engines, but none of them were visible.

Greg gave his brother a warning nod, then leaped out of the bushes to sprint across the open ground. Lewis followed fast and it took only seconds for them to reach the boathouse. Greg wrenched open the door and bundled Lewis inside.

There was just one boat, but it was about five metres long and its prow was decorated with a dragon’s head carved out of wood.

“What is this, a Viking theme park?” Lewis asked.

“Never mind that,” Greg told him as he pulled the door shut. “Just stay out of sight and keep quiet.”

They crouched by the door where Greg could peek out through a knothole. He saw one of the Valkyries wheel past no more than a few metres away. She reined in her mount and looked over at the boathouse.

“One of them’s headed this way,” he said. “We’ve got to hide.”

“Where?” Lewis gasped, staring around helplessly. Then he spotted a pile of canvas lying at the bottom of the boat. “We can hide under that,” he said, pointing.

Without another word they jumped into the boat and wriggled under the canvas. “Your leg’s sticking out!” Greg whispered urgently.

Lewis quickly pulled his leg in and tugged the canvas down to conceal himself. They were shrouded in darkness and silence, broken only by the exaggerated sound of their own breathing. Then the boathouse door was kicked open and Lewis heard a sword rasping from its sheath.

He listened to the Valkyrie pace the landing then stop. The toe of her boot tapped impatiently. The brothers held their breath, trying not to make the slightest movement that might give them away.

Finally the Valkyrie snarled a Germanic curse and marched out, slamming the door behind her.

Greg and Lewis crawled out from under the canvas.

“That was close!” Lewis gasped, gratefully breathing in the fresh air.

A loud snort suddenly drew their eyes to the boat’s dragon prow in time to see its eyes open. The prow stretched its neck as if to untangle a kink, then twisted around to look at them.

The boys jumped out and stood in astonishment while the dragon’s head blinked at them.

“What are you two doing here?” it asked in a deep, rough voice. “Don’t you know this is my nap time? Don’t you know I need my sleep? Is this any kind of time to come looking for a boat ride? What do they teach kids these days?”

“Shhh!” Greg told it.

The dragon prow raised its eyebrows. “Son, you’ve got a communication problem. I asked you a question and all you can do is hiss.”

“Please be quiet!” Lewis pleaded.

The dragon head twisted about on its wooden neck. “I say, am I missing something here? I’m the one that got woken up and you’re trying to hush me. It makes no sense, boy. There’s no reason to it. If you’re here for a boat ride, just come out with it.” It paused to look back and forth between them. “Nod if any of this is sinking in.”

“We don’t need a boat ride,” Greg told it. “We’re just chilling.”

“This is a boathouse, boy, not an icehouse,” the dragon head told him. “Do you see any ice here? No, because there isn’t any. You come to a boathouse to use a boat, longship that is. Which I am.”

The dragon prow ignored Lewis’ desperate efforts to signal him to silence. Finally it said, “Stop waving your arms around, boy. You look like a windmill.”

“Look, we don’t need a boat,” Greg said. “But I hear there are some Vikings dropping by later to pillage the picnic area. Maybe you should rest up in case they need a quick getaway.”

“Hmm…” the dragon said. “I could use a tad more shuteye if it’s going to be a busy day. Thanks for the tip-off, son. You and your gobby friend be sure to wake me if those Vikings show up.”

The dragon head slowly shut its wooden eyes and pretty soon it looked completely lifeless again.

“We’d better hide out here until the coast is clear,” said Greg. “It should be safe, as long as big mouth doesn’t start sounding off again.”

“Let’s take a seat behind that barrel over there,” Lewis suggested.

He hauled
The Folklore of Time
out of his backpack and tried to read through it in an orderly manner. It
wasn’t easy. It kept jumping from one topic to another in a series of badly organised chapters, most of which were little more than a page in length.